How easy is it to sustain them in the long run ?
Personally I've had a golden rule that once a female friend enters into a serious / long term relationship or gets married, then I tend to make myself very scarce / exit stage left.
However it's not a actual golden rule as I've made two exceptions to it and yet in hindsight I think I should have applied it rigorously. :hmm:
I have not noticed any differences really with my relationships with my male friends. We rarely get to hang out because everybody is so busy in this phase of our lives. But we are still friends. I suspect as everybody's kids get older we will hang out more again.
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 04:35:36 PM
I have not noticed any differences really with my relationships with my male friends. We rarely get to hang out because everybody is so busy in this phase of our lives. But we are still friends. I suspect as everybody's kids get older we will hang out more again.
Didn't know you fancied men. :huh:
It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner. Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.
Also, if no other impediments are present--like a preexisting relationship, she's gay, I'm physically unattractive in her eyes--if a person doesn't at least vaguely want to have sex with me, then can I really call them my friend? They have judged my personality and character and found me defective in some fashion. That's not a very good basis for genuine friendship.
Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results. :)
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 04:37:15 PM
Didn't know you fancied men. :huh:
I don't. That is why I specified there are no differences with my male friends. If I fancied men I would say I didn't notice any differences between them and my female friends.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results. :)
I guess I don't get it.
I was supposed to talk about how it was between me and my female friends right? Well I did not notice any differences with my relationships with my male friends. They have basically gone the same.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner. Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.
Also, if no other impediments are present--like a preexisting relationship, she's gay, I'm physically unattractive in her eyes--if a person doesn't at least vaguely want to have sex with me, then can I really call them my friend? They have judged my personality and character and found me defective in some fashion. That's not a very good basis for genuine friendship.
Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results. :)
Props for the honesty. :)
For me I'm not so sure, I think it's entirely possible, but them having a long term partner I think can 'unbalance' the friendship in terms of mechanics of maintaining it.
I've certainly had one or two female friend of decades+ whom I didn't fancy at all.
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 04:44:46 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results. :)
I guess I don't get it.
I was supposed to talk about how it was between me and my female friends right? Well I did not notice any differences with my relationships with my male friends. They have basically gone the same.
Quote
With Those Of Your Sexual Preference.
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 04:44:46 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results. :)
I guess I don't get it.
I'm guessing if you had said "I have not noticed any differences really
from my relationships with my male friends" it would have been less confusing. As it was it could have gone either way.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 04:46:31 PM
With Those Of Your Sexual Preference.
Ok...so if I am straight I talk about my relationships with my female friends.
IT HAS GONE THE SAME AS IT HAS WITH MY MALE FRIENDS. I HAVE NOT NOTICED ANY DIFFERENCES.
How saying that means I am gay I am not sure.
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 04:44:46 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results. :)
I guess I don't get it.
I was supposed to talk about how it was between me and my female friends right? Well I did not notice any differences with my relationships with my male friends. They have basically gone the same.
Oh, no differences
between them and your male friends. :lol:
It makes more sense now. :P
My best friend for the past 25 years is a woman.
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 04:51:19 PM
My best friend for the past 25 years is a woman.
Oh, gawd.
Edit: oh, wait, I remember now; you didn't mean your wife. -_-
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 04:48:46 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 04:46:31 PM
With Those Of Your Sexual Preference.
Ok...so if I am straight I talk about my relationships with my female friends.
IT HAS GONE THE SAME AS IT HAS WITH MY MALE FRIENDS. I HAVE NOT NOTICED ANY DIFFERENCES.
How saying that means I am gay I am not sure.
:D
Interesting that we derail a thread dealing with feelings into one about comprehension issue, how typically Languish; all we need now is a dispute about a typo and debate about the semantics involved and I can lock the thread as complete :P
Quote from: Maximus on December 14, 2011, 04:47:07 PM
I'm guessing if you had said "I have not noticed any differences really from my relationships with my male friends" it would have been less confusing. As it was it could have gone either way.
But really if I was talking about dudes why would I specify that there were no differences with my male friends? Differences from what?
But I guess with regards to what Ideologue was saying I wonder if it has something to do with having a sister. I just sort of 'friend zone' women and it is no big deal.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:51:46 PM
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 04:51:19 PM
My best friend for the past 25 years is a woman.
Oh, gawd.
Edit: oh, wait, I remember now; you didn't mean your wife. -_-
I haven't known my wife that long. I met my friend in high school and my wife in university.
She was married this year (the friend, not the wife :D ).
Dunno. I have a sister too. I'm just messed up inside.
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 04:56:45 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:51:46 PM
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 04:51:19 PM
My best friend for the past 25 years is a woman.
Oh, gawd.
Edit: oh, wait, I remember now; you didn't mean your wife. -_-
I haven't known my wife that long. I met my friend in high school and my wife in university.
She was married this year (the friend, not the wife :D ).
Yeah, and I remember me and CdM used to take turns saying variations of DOES NOT COMPUTE back on the old server.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:57:45 PM
Dunno. I have a sister too. I'm just messed up inside.
Dang now you have me thinking about this. When I was younger and inept with women I would befriend the ones I wanted to be with and the results were so predictably disastrous I wonder if that particular trauma also has something to do with it.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:58:41 PM
Yeah, and I remember me and CdM used to take turns saying variations of DOES NOT COMPUTE back on the old server.
I was a bridesmaid at the wedding. :D
I wore a suit though, no cross-dressing for me. :P
Man since coming out of the closet valmy has become angry :P
No real difference. Just that it's more annoying hearing them complain about relationships then my male friends. As a bonus chicks will set you up with hot friends. Guys will not since they want to do said hot friends.
Quote from: HVC on December 14, 2011, 05:04:06 PM
Man since coming out of the closet valmy had become angry :P
It was more like clueless. :blush:
I suck at writing. But from what I have seen from you, you can empathize :P
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 05:03:47 PM
I was a bridesmaid at the wedding. :D
I wore a suit though, no cross-dressing for me. :P
I was at my Sister's wedding as well. Though my title was 'Bridesman' -_-
Indeed I can my friend, indeed I can :lol:
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 05:06:14 PM
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 05:03:47 PM
I was a bridesmaid at the wedding. :D
I wore a suit though, no cross-dressing for me. :P
I was at my Sister's wedding as well. Though my title was 'Bridesman' -_-
That works at a sister's wedding ... doesn't sound nearly as well at a non-sister's wedding. :lol:
I've remained friends with my first fiancée.
Quote from: HVC on December 14, 2011, 05:04:06 PM
Man since coming out of the closet valmy has become angry :P
No real difference. Just that it's more annoying hearing them complain about relationships then my male friends. As a bonus chicks will set you up with hot friends. Guys will not since they want to do said hot friends.
:blink:
They do ?
That never happened to me, indeed thinking about it, I seemed to have been kept away from their female friends. :hmm:
Quote from: HVC on December 14, 2011, 05:04:06 PM
Man since coming out of the closet valmy has become angry :P
That's what they call one-hour martinizing.
Quote from: Ed AngerI've remained friends with my first fiancée.
I guess technically I'm still friends with Korea, although I waver between wishing her well and wishing her into the cornfield. That's only different in degree rather kind from my other friendships, though.
Quote from: HVC on December 14, 2011, 05:06:27 PM
Indeed I can my friend, indeed I can :lol:
Get a room you two.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:10:48 PM
That never happened to me, indeed thinking about it, I seemed to have been kept away from their female friends. :hmm:
Me neither. My friends were not very helpful in that department.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:12:02 PM
That's what they call one-hour martinizing.
This is like a totally over-the-top situation that probably involves Nazis.
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 05:14:05 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:10:48 PM
That never happened to me, indeed thinking about it, I seemed to have been kept away from their female friends. :hmm:
Me neither. My friends were not very helpful in that department.
:console:
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:15:40 PM
:console:
But they were always handy with things like 'Any woman would be lucky to have you! Pity all my friends are gay/dudes/taken.' Damn them.
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 05:15:31 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:12:02 PM
That's what they call one-hour martinizing.
This is like a totally over-the-top situation that probably involves Nazis.
What new [consumer item] should I get? I can buy ten of them and not even feel it, you know.
I have a couple of female friends who are long term friends. We don't see each other that much these days but we're still good friends. There were periods where there was a bit of sexual tension component to our friendship, but not too much and it's pretty far in the past now.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner. Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.
Ditto-- with the addition that if she is less attractive, then I get concerned about her being attracted to me.
So I guess effectively the answer is "no" for me.
Quote from: Jacob on December 14, 2011, 05:26:25 PM
I have a couple of female friends who are long term friends. We don't see each other that much these days but we're still good friends. There were periods where there was a bit of sexual tension component to our friendship, but not too much and it's pretty far in the past now.
Interesting.
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 05:16:39 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:15:40 PM
:console:
But they were always handy with things like 'Any woman would be lucky to have you! Pity all my friends are gay/dudes/taken.' Damn them.
You know I think I'm going to go out on a limb and say in your situation, I think it sounds like they enjoy/ed your 'male company or attention' too much to risk having it curtailed by them finding you a date or long term partner.
Can we have a thread someday that isn't gay?
Quote from: derspiess on December 14, 2011, 05:27:47 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner. Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.
Ditto-- with the addition that if she is less attractive, then I get concerned about her being attracted to me.
So I guess effectively the answer is "no" for me.
Actually, I'll qualify that. I'm not a particularly envious fellow (:hmm:), so "if my SO is fully attractive," I suppose even a more attractive female friend might not bother me. However, the boredom/sameness--let alone decreased sexual frequency--of later stages of relationships (unavoidable? certainly it violates no law of physics to avoid it, no matter how analogous it may be to entropy :P) may make this less covetous-sounding reformulation unworkable.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:30:26 PM
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 05:16:39 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:15:40 PM
:console:
But they were always handy with things like 'Any woman would be lucky to have you! Pity all my friends are gay/dudes/taken.' Damn them.
You know I think I'm going to go out on a limb and say in your situation, I think it sounds like they enjoy/ed your 'male company or attention' too much to risk having it curtailed by them finding you a date or long term partner.
More likely, they worry that by setting two friends up, you end up losing one or both if the relationship goes badly.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:32:34 PM
Quote from: derspiess on December 14, 2011, 05:27:47 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner. Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.
Ditto-- with the addition that if she is less attractive, then I get concerned about her being attracted to me.
So I guess effectively the answer is "no" for me.
Actually, I'll qualify that. I'm not a particularly envious fellow (:hmm:), so "if my SO is fully attractive," I suppose even a more attractive female friend might not bother me. However, the boredom/sameness--let alone decreased sexual frequency--of later stages of relationships (unavoidable? certainly it violates no law of physics to avoid it, no matter how analogous it may be to entropy :P) may make this less covetous-sounding reformulation unworkable.
And this time in English please.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:10:48 PM
Quote from: HVC on December 14, 2011, 05:04:06 PM
Man since coming out of the closet valmy has become angry :P
No real difference. Just that it's more annoying hearing them complain about relationships then my male friends. As a bonus chicks will set you up with hot friends. Guys will not since they want to do said hot friends.
:blink:
They do ?
That never happened to me, indeed thinking about it, I seemed to have been kept away from their female friends. :hmm:
they think you're to good for their friends... Yeah, that's it :unsure: :P
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 05:35:00 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:30:26 PM
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 05:16:39 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:15:40 PM
:console:
But they were always handy with things like 'Any woman would be lucky to have you! Pity all my friends are gay/dudes/taken.' Damn them.
You know I think I'm going to go out on a limb and say in your situation, I think it sounds like they enjoy/ed your 'male company or attention' too much to risk having it curtailed by them finding you a date or long term partner.
More likely, they worry that by setting two friends up, you end up losing one or both if the relationship goes badly.
This implies the person has to take sides in any break up ?
edit:
Oh that reminds me, Malthus I need to pm/email you to ask you some advice about a political issues situation you might find rather interesting.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:28:16 PMInteresting.
They were both colleagues at my last pre-career job. We spent several years seeing each other all day five days a week and spending all night drinking about five nights a week as well; it was more of a group thing but it was long enough and intense enough that friendships lasted long after we stopped working at the movie theatre.
With one of them, we almost always argued in that classical rom-com "destined to be together" kind of way (except I always thought she was joking when she was annoyed at me and just argued because I thought it was entertaining) and there was one month where I thought I had a bit of a crush on her. With the other one there was one drunken night of boundary crossing that we agreed to pretend never happened (and that she barely remembered, she had to ask me the details the next day).
Ultimately, however, we usually had other interests that were higher priority so we fitted fairly well into each other's "friend zones" as it were. The friendships developed out of long term association and shared social lives; some attraction followed, it wasn't really that strong when it was tested and was thus put by the wayside, but the friendship remained.
It's not necessarily typical, I don't think. There are plenty of female friends I haven't stayed in contact with. I expect that's because fundamentally there was unresolved or disappointed sexual attraction underneath it all.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:35:51 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:32:34 PM
Quote from: derspiess on December 14, 2011, 05:27:47 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 04:40:35 PM
It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner. Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.
Ditto-- with the addition that if she is less attractive, then I get concerned about her being attracted to me.
So I guess effectively the answer is "no" for me.
Actually, I'll qualify that. I'm not a particularly envious fellow (:hmm:), so "if my SO is fully attractive," I suppose even a more attractive female friend might not bother me. However, the boredom/sameness--let alone decreased sexual frequency--of later stages of relationships (unavoidable? certainly it violates no law of physics to avoid it, no matter how analogous it may be to entropy :P) may make this less covetous-sounding reformulation unworkable.
And this time in English please.
You will read my parenthetical asides and like them.
But put simply, if a girlfriend meets my basic standards (>120lbs., brunette, comfortable with a bob cut, accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression, believes in Keynesian stimulus, likes cowgirl, takes it on the face), then I could establish friendly relationships with women more attractive than she without sexual tension or more than the most cursory of sexual desire.
However, this may not be tenable in a very long-term relationship unless care is taken that the conditions supporting happiness remain firmly in place--principally her appearance changes only with the unavoidable wear of age, not the fully avoidable ballooning of a calorie imbalance, and the regularity of sexual congress.
Quoteaccepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression
Ugh, you are one of those. I love MST3K as much as the next person, but the next jackass that interrupts my movie viewing shall receive a pistol whipping.
I'm afraid we can't date. :(
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:42:08 PMYou will read my parenthetical asides and like them.
But put simply, if a girlfriend meets my basic standards (>120lbs., brunette, comfortable with a bob cut, accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression, believes in Keynesian stimulus, likes cowgirl, takes it on the face), then I could establish friendly relationships with women more attractive than she without sexual tension or more than the most cursory of sexual desire.
Heavier than 120 lbs?
Quote from: Ed Anger on December 14, 2011, 05:44:10 PM
Quoteaccepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression
Ugh, you are one of those. I love MST3K as much as the next person, but the next jackass that interrupts my movie viewing shall receive a pistol whipping.
I'm afraid we can't date. :(
It only counts if a professional is doing it. I try not to interrupt movies, mostly. Previews are totally fair game, though.
And it's okay. I've got my fall-back in Valmy.
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:46:21 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on December 14, 2011, 05:44:10 PM
Quoteaccepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression
Ugh, you are one of those. I love MST3K as much as the next person, but the next jackass that interrupts my movie viewing shall receive a pistol whipping.
I'm afraid we can't date. :(
It only counts if a professional is doing it. I try not to interrupt movies, mostly. Previews are totally fair game, though.
And it's okay. I've got my fall-back in Valmy.
He'll make you eat chili full of meat and no beans.
Quote from: Jacob on December 14, 2011, 05:45:11 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:42:08 PMYou will read my parenthetical asides and like them.
But put simply, if a girlfriend meets my basic standards (>120lbs., brunette, comfortable with a bob cut, accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression, believes in Keynesian stimulus, likes cowgirl, takes it on the face), then I could establish friendly relationships with women more attractive than she without sexual tension or more than the most cursory of sexual desire.
Heavier than 120 lbs?
Oops. Inequality fail.
And I'll note that that's a rule of thumb, based on average height. It can vary. I am flexible. :)
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:37:41 PM
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 05:35:00 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:30:26 PM
Quote from: Valmy on December 14, 2011, 05:16:39 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:15:40 PM
:console:
But they were always handy with things like 'Any woman would be lucky to have you! Pity all my friends are gay/dudes/taken.' Damn them.
You know I think I'm going to go out on a limb and say in your situation, I think it sounds like they enjoy/ed your 'male company or attention' too much to risk having it curtailed by them finding you a date or long term partner.
More likely, they worry that by setting two friends up, you end up losing one or both if the relationship goes badly.
This implies the person has to take sides in any break up ?
Not necessaily. But it can happen that way, sometimes, like it or not.
Quote
edit:
Oh that reminds me, Malthus I need to pm/email you to ask you some advice about a political issues situation you might find rather interesting.
No prob.
Quote from: Ed Anger on December 14, 2011, 05:47:46 PM
He'll make you eat chili full of meat and no beans.
A feeder, eh? Gross.
Quote from: MongersOh that reminds me, Malthus I need to pm/email you to ask you some advice about a political issues situation you might find rather interesting.
It's anti-stroller legislation that just issued from Commons.
Is this about Swallow?
I think you should confess your love in some dramatic fashion, but preferably before her wedding ceremony. :hmm:
Quote from: Jacob on December 14, 2011, 05:38:20 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 05:28:16 PMInteresting.
They were both colleagues at my last pre-career job. We spent several years seeing each other all day five days a week and spending all night drinking about five nights a week as well; it was more of a group thing but it was long enough and intense enough that friendships lasted long after we stopped working at the movie theatre.
With one of them, we almost always argued in that classical rom-com "destined to be together" kind of way (except I always thought she was joking when she was annoyed at me and just argued because I thought it was entertaining) and there was one month where I thought I had a bit of a crush on her. With the other one there was one drunken night of boundary crossing that we agreed to pretend never happened (and that she barely remembered, she had to ask me the details the next day).
Ultimately, however, we usually had other interests that were higher priority so we fitted fairly well into each other's "friend zones" as it were. The friendships developed out of long term association and shared social lives; some attraction followed, it wasn't really that strong when it was tested and was thus put by the wayside, but the friendship remained.
It's not necessarily typical, I don't think. There are plenty of female friends I haven't stayed in contact with. I expect that's because fundamentally there was unresolved or disappointed sexual attraction underneath it all.
Well to be fair, Jacob you're a very handsome man, I think many of us Languishite will not have been so lucky. In short I'd guess most of you female friends or acquaintances will have initially fancied you, if not continued to have.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 14, 2011, 05:50:17 PM
Is this about Swallow?
I think you should confess your love in some dramatic fashion, but preferably before her wedding ceremony. :hmm:
IN YOUR EYES (THE LIGHT THE HEAT)
When Mongers wants to run away, what does he drive off in? :(
Quote from: Ideologue on December 14, 2011, 05:52:03 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 14, 2011, 05:50:17 PM
Is this about Swallow?
I think you should confess your love in some dramatic fashion, but preferably before her wedding ceremony. :hmm:
IN YOUR EYES (THE LIGHT THE HEAT)
When Mongers wants to run away, what does he drive off in? :(
A 40 year old huffy.
Unlike mongers, I have standards, which means I don't want to fuck every gay guy I know.
That being said, all my gay friends fall into three categories: (i) guys I fucked, (ii) guys I want to fuck, and (iii) guys I wouldn't fuck even if I was paid to.
Edit: Coming to think about it, out of my three closest self-identified straight male friends, I had homoerotic experiences with two, and the third one is fugly.
Females ask me to be just friends all the time. :)
I can't really keep many friendships long term never mind with girls. :p
But I tend to be friends with women and men equally- more towards women on occasion even.
There was some awkward awkwardness related to this on the weekend when first at some Jet get together me and a girl I hang out with a fair bit were voted best should be couple (no. interest. whatsoever). At the demands to kiss I promptly hid under the table and waited for things to blow over. Which was possibly a bit insulting for her. Maybe. And then later that night at a pub a bunch of us went to a Japanese guy decided we were together.
So I would rather the girls I'm friends with and have no interest in be in relationships. At least that way nobody thinks such sillyness.
You hide under a table? :D
:lol:
Quote from: DGuller on December 14, 2011, 06:45:15 PM
Females ask me to be just friends all the time. :)
:lol:
:console:
There are two types of women in the world:
1. Women I don't want to have sex with.
2. Women who don't want to have sex with me.
Quote from: Slargos on December 14, 2011, 06:58:09 PM
There are two types of women in the world:
1. Women I don't want to have sex with.
2. Women who don't want to have sex with me.
So whenever you get laid, at least one of the involved parties doesn't want to do it? :(
Quote from: Jacob on December 14, 2011, 07:00:00 PM
Quote from: Slargos on December 14, 2011, 06:58:09 PM
There are two types of women in the world:
1. Women I don't want to have sex with.
2. Women who don't want to have sex with me.
So whenever you get laid, at least one of the involved parties doesn't want to do it? :(
:hmm:
Quote from: Jacob on December 14, 2011, 07:00:00 PM
Quote from: Slargos on December 14, 2011, 06:58:09 PM
There are two types of women in the world:
1. Women I don't want to have sex with.
2. Women who don't want to have sex with me.
So whenever you get laid, at least one of the involved parties doesn't want to do it? :(
Hey, you missed my compliment further up in the thread. :mad:
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 14, 2011, 05:50:17 PM
Is this about Swallow?
I think you should confess your love in some dramatic fashion, but preferably before her wedding ceremony. :hmm:
No it's was partially motivated by me having sort of 'finished' with my long term closest female friend, whom I've known for nearly 1/4 of a century.
(shit don't I sound old ! )
Edit: this is someone I've probably met twice a week for decades on end, someone whom asked me if she should marry her husband, so I guess we've been somewhat close.
Quote from: Slargos on December 14, 2011, 06:58:09 PM
There are two types of women in the world:
1. Women I don't want to have sex with.
2. Women who don't want to have sex with me.
3. Women wrapped in duct tape and stuffed in Slargos' closet.
Though that may be ca subset of (2). :hmm:
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 07:36:07 PM
Quote from: Slargos on December 14, 2011, 06:58:09 PM
There are two types of women in the world:
1. Women I don't want to have sex with.
2. Women who don't want to have sex with me.
3. Women wrapped in duct tape and stuffed in Slargos' closet.
Though that may be ca subset of (2). :hmm:
Wait, what's CdM doing in Slargos's house ?
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 07:41:34 PM
Wait, what's CdM doing in Slargos's house ?
Naw, CdM has a basement for those sort of festivities. Slargos must make do with a closet. :P
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 07:44:25 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 07:41:34 PM
Wait, what's CdM doing in Slargos's house ?
Naw, CdM has a basement for those sort of festivities. Slargos must make do with a closet. :P
Yeah, but how does he Marti outta there ? :D
To the topic question: I don't handle those too well. I'm only in steady contact with one close female friend with whom I haven't had sex, although we probably would have if she wasn't a strict lesbian. :blush:
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 07:45:45 PM
Quote from: Malthus on December 14, 2011, 07:44:25 PM
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 07:41:34 PM
Wait, what's CdM doing in Slargos's house ?
Naw, CdM has a basement for those sort of festivities. Slargos must make do with a closet. :P
Yeah, but how does he Marti outta there ? :D
He takes off his shoes? ;)
Quote from: Ed Anger on December 14, 2011, 05:47:46 PM
He'll make you eat chili full of meat and no beans.
Damn straight.
I don't understand the problem.
I have female friends. Most of them I, from time to time, think about having sex with.
I don't have sex with them, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it, nor does my thinking about it preclude them being friends.
Quote from: Berkut on December 14, 2011, 09:56:38 PM
I don't understand the problem.
I have female friends. Most of them I, from time to time, think about having sex with.
I don't have sex with them, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it, nor does my thinking about it preclude them being friends.
I'm not saying it's a problem, so much as it's likely to be different; as you've said, presumably you don't think about your male friends in those terms either. :P
I can be friends with a woman if she is flat chested. If she has big jugs... no, not possible. But to me a flat woman is a man, basically. :)
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 10:10:14 PM
Quote from: Berkut on December 14, 2011, 09:56:38 PM
I don't understand the problem.
I have female friends. Most of them I, from time to time, think about having sex with.
I don't have sex with them, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it, nor does my thinking about it preclude them being friends.
I'm not saying it's a problem, so much as it's likely to be different; as you've said, presumably you don't think about your male friends in those terms either. :P
Well, no, but I do think of things like "Hey, I wonder if <male friend> wants to get together to play a wargame!" that I don't think about my female friends either.
Female friends are not the same as male friends, and younger friends are not the same as older friends. Friends without kids are not the same as friends with kids. Etc., etc.
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:06:52 PM
I can be friends with a woman if she is flat chested. If she has big jugs... no, not possible. But to me a flat woman is a man, basically. :)
So you curious about men with manboobs ? :x
:P
See, I'm afraid I would be like Berkut and daydream about doing my female friends, hence my 'nofemale friends with big boobs' policy.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 11:12:31 PM
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:06:52 PM
I can be friends with a woman if she is flat chested. If she has big jugs... no, not possible. But to me a flat woman is a man, basically. :)
So you curious about men with manboobs ? :x
:P
Nope, not bi-curious or whatever you call it. :)
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:13:33 PM
See, I'm afraid I would be like Berkut and daydream about doing my female friends, hence my 'nofemale friends with big boobs' policy.
You already daydream about doing femals with big boobs who are NOT your friends, what would it matter if you daydream about doing one that ARE your friends?
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:13:33 PM
See, I'm afraid I would be like Berkut and daydream about doing my female friends, hence my 'nofemale friends with big boobs' policy.
No I think you and Berkut are in the majority going by contributions so far.
I think I'm in the minority, those who've actually had some female friends whom they haven't fancied.
edit:
A while back I told one a little white lie, that I fancied her, so I'd have the excuse to be not about so often and wouldn't have to listen so much about certain non-resolvable family issues* :wacko:
*not her husband or married life I should hasten to add..
Quote from: Berkut on December 14, 2011, 11:19:41 PM
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:13:33 PM
See, I'm afraid I would be like Berkut and daydream about doing my female friends, hence my 'nofemale friends with big boobs' policy.
You already daydream about doing femals with big boobs who are NOT your friends, what would it matter if you daydream about doing one that ARE your friends?
I guess it turns on ones definition of 'daydream' perhaps for Cal that's more of a 'dangerous' possibility that it is with you ? :unsure:
Quote from: Berkut on December 14, 2011, 11:19:41 PM
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:13:33 PM
See, I'm afraid I would be like Berkut and daydream about doing my female friends, hence my 'nofemale friends with big boobs' policy.
You already daydream about doing femals with big boobs who are NOT your friends, what would it matter if you daydream about doing one that ARE your friends?
Seems like if I am friends with them the chances of acting on that daydreaming would go up, and I don't trust myself... :Embarrass:
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:25:48 PM
Quote from: Berkut on December 14, 2011, 11:19:41 PM
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:13:33 PM
See, I'm afraid I would be like Berkut and daydream about doing my female friends, hence my 'nofemale friends with big boobs' policy.
You already daydream about doing femals with big boobs who are NOT your friends, what would it matter if you daydream about doing one that ARE your friends?
Seems like if I am friends with them the chances of acting on that daydreaming would go up, and I don't trust myself... :Embarrass:
The power of the boobage is strong in you.
Cal is weak. :(
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:25:48 PM
Seems like if I am friends with them the chances of acting on that daydreaming would go up, and I don't trust myself... :Embarrass:
Yeah, you're such a Lothario.
At first I was going to say not in a million years but then I realized that I have gay friends who fit the criteria. I also have gay friends who don't. :blush:
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:25:48 PM
Quote from: Berkut on December 14, 2011, 11:19:41 PM
Quote from: Caliga on December 14, 2011, 11:13:33 PM
See, I'm afraid I would be like Berkut and daydream about doing my female friends, hence my 'nofemale friends with big boobs' policy.
You already daydream about doing femals with big boobs who are NOT your friends, what would it matter if you daydream about doing one that ARE your friends?
Seems like if I am friends with them the chances of acting on that daydreaming would go up, and I don't trust myself... :Embarrass:
Hmm. I guess in theory there is a greater chance I have an affair with a friend than a not-friend, if only because I spend more time around friends.
On the other hand, the choice to be unfaithful doesn't (to me anyway) really revolve around opportunity. I don't think what is holding me back from cheating could be the lack of friends to cheat with - hell, if I decided to cheat, I think I would rather cheat with a stranger anyway.
Quote from: Berkut on December 15, 2011, 12:03:12 AMhell, if I decided to cheat, I think I would rather cheat with a stranger anyway.
Wouldn't that on some level depend on the end goal of the cheating?
I have female friends. :) Only one close female friend at the moment, but it has been otherwise in the past. There has been sexual tension with some, sure, but I am of the school that straight male friends tend to have (displaced) sexual tension anyways.. :elvis: My first and closest friends after high school were gay men.
Quote from: garbon on December 15, 2011, 12:10:08 AM
Quote from: Berkut on December 15, 2011, 12:03:12 AMhell, if I decided to cheat, I think I would rather cheat with a stranger anyway.
Wouldn't that on some level depend on the end goal of the cheating?
It's only cheating if you're caught ??
I guess the odds are if you cheat with a friend then it's in all likelihood going blow in everyones face.
Quote from: mongers on December 15, 2011, 12:12:53 AM
It's only cheating if you're caught ??
I guess the odds are if you cheat with a friend then it's in all likelihood going blow in everyones face.
No, I wasn't suggesting something so ridiculous and untrue. I meant as far as the end goal. If the end goal was to cheat and get away with it secretly then sure a stranger would be best (Fatal Attraction scenarios notwithstanding) but if the goal was to get caught and "free" oneself of bonds one could consciously not break...
Quote from: HVC on December 14, 2011, 06:53:58 PM
You hide under a table? :D
It was purely in jest. Saying "Hide!" in a silly voice then doing so.
I don't know, I don't have any friends.
Same here. :(
Moi aussi. -_-
At least, none to speak of these days. Last close buddy took the train to Chi-town, where he can be unemployed in style while he lives off his boyfriend's new job. Law school: like an MRS degree for fags?
:)
Quote from: Ideologue on December 15, 2011, 07:39:42 AMLaw school: like an MRS degree for fags?
Now that you mention it, I don't know a single single gay man at law school. :hmm: And what has Faeelin been up to?...
I tend to get on better with women than I do with men, and as such the overwhelming majority of my friends are women. It's been my experience that there is usually some sexual tension in the beginning of that kind of friendship, but that it will fade over the years, and perhaps even seem a bit incestuous eventually.
Quote from: mongers on December 14, 2011, 07:06:21 PMHey, you missed my compliment further up in the thread. :mad:
No no, I got it and appreciated it :cheers:
I just didn't know how to respond to it... :blush:
Quote from: Pitiful Pathos on December 15, 2011, 07:55:21 AM
I tend to get on better with women than I do with men, and as such the overwhelming majority of my friends are women. It's been my experience that there is usually some sexual tension in the beginning of that kind of friendship, but that it will fade over the years, and perhaps even seem a bit incestuous eventually.
Yep. My experience exactly. I mean except I have about equal numbers of male and female friends.
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on December 15, 2011, 07:53:31 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 15, 2011, 07:39:42 AMLaw school: like an MRS degree for fags?
Now that you mention it, I don't know a single single gay man at law school. :hmm: And what has Faeelin been up to?...
I think he was looking for a clerkship.
I know plenty of law school gays, both male and female. I would figure the percentage of gays would be higher in the Ivy League... :hmm:
Quote from: Grey Fox on December 15, 2011, 07:13:52 AM
I don't know, I don't have any friends.
Might want to try to do something about that. :hmm:
Quote from: Valmy on December 15, 2011, 10:58:05 AM
Yep. My experience exactly. I mean except I have about equal numbers of male and female friends.
I probably break 90% male/10% female. I have nothing in common with most women so don't see any basis on which to form a friendship with one. I don't understand the female creature. :blush:
Quote from: stjaba on December 15, 2011, 01:09:34 PM
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on December 15, 2011, 07:53:31 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 15, 2011, 07:39:42 AMLaw school: like an MRS degree for fags?
Now that you mention it, I don't know a single single gay man at law school. :hmm: And what has Faeelin been up to?...
I think he was looking for a clerkship.
I know plenty of law school gays, both male and female. I would figure the percentage of gays would be higher in the Ivy League... :hmm:
Round here I think a lot stay closeted. My buddy said there were others he believed were gay but were not out. He's probably right--I mean, statistically, he'd almost have to be. But I know my buddy stayed closeted. Sort of, anyway--he took solace in that he "never denied it." Yeah, because the dean isn't coming around and taking a survey. He never mentioned his relationships, and he even kept it from his roommate (another student, apparently a pretty right-wing little punk), which I imagine involved sitcom-style deceptions.
So it isn't lying of course, but it does count as a concealment of one's true nature, which is no good for anybody and only perpetuates social marginalization of homosexuals. I was the only fellow student he told while in school (although I already knew because I am smart).
It was always fun to be self-righteous about an issue that didn't directly affect me too. :punk:
Quote from: CaligaSame advice to you. :)
:yes:
Quote from: Caliga on December 15, 2011, 01:19:25 PM
I probably break 90% male/10% female. I have nothing in common with most women so don't see any basis on which to form a friendship with one. I don't understand the female creature. :blush:
With my male friends we tend to discuss interests. It can get so ridiculous I can get together with a friend of mine I haven't talked to for a year and we can babble for hours and have a great time. Then I get home and my wife is all 'oh you saw him? How is his family and his job going?' and I suddenly remember we spent those hours talking about sports and movies and whatever and never actually brought up anything about how our lives are going.
With my female friends we tend to discuss those very things: our relationships and our lives and so forth.
I love how two guys can be good friends and still don't know/care about the other's personal life.
Something actually happened to me this morning that reminded me about this thread. :)
I was at Midway getting ready to fly home with a bunch of peeps from my company, and got to talking to one of my female co-workers about flying and she confessed that she's terrified to fly. So I spent most of the time in the terminal talking to her, trying to calm her fears, etc. Shortly before boarding she said "will you sit next to me and if there's turbulence can I 'hang on to you'?"
...
CAL'S BRAIN:
DECISION TREE
Sit next to female co-worker on plane and risk physical contact.
VISUAL CHECK: CHEST SIZE
If small, then say "Sure, no problem."
If big, then rapidly think up some lame excuse and hope it flies.
...
Unfortunately, the visual check returned a response of "big approaching huge" so I pointed out that I had a very high boarding number much higher than hers, but I said I'd 'save her a seat next to the window seat I'm going to grab'. She seemed to buy that, and when I sat down I had my fingers crossed that someone else would sit down next to me, and luckily a grumpy looking old guy in a business suit did. :cool:
I forgot to check on her after the flight (which was turbulent) and I feel like a total jerk now though. :(
I have a good friend of mine who is female- I think she's quite pretty, but I have no interest in her that way. I always have trouble relating when men declare it as a universal truth that its impossible to be friends with women without having sexual interest in them.
A more likely argument to my mind would be it is difficult to be friends with women because their interests and pursuits are so different, and i'm a raging misogynist who will go on a rant about disenfranchisement and the decline of the west at some point. If the lady is immune to that, we're cool.
I think growing up on the internet and doing most communication via typing helps. I can never completely shake the suspicion this isn't just because I don't feel very strong sexual urges compared to most people, though- perhaps that would make it quite different.
TL;DR: either gender can be your friend, but women are dumb lol
Honestly, I think part of it for me is that I only have a brother (no sisters), and my dad is basically as masculine as is humanly possible with his interests, which are basically limited to investing, fishing, woodworking, and auto racing.
Quote from: Caliga on December 15, 2011, 01:33:17 PM
......
I forgot to check on her after the flight (which was turbulent) and I feel like a total jerk now though. :(
I wouldn't go that far, maybe you missed out a lengthy chat with someone who turned out to be a really great person ?
Quote from: Lettow77 on December 15, 2011, 01:42:55 PM
......
TL;DR: either gender can be your friend, but women are dumb lol
Oh dear, Languish appears to have rubbed off on Lettow. And the boy had such promise. :(
Quote from: mongers on December 15, 2011, 02:10:04 PM
I wouldn't go that far, maybe you missed out a lengthy chat with someone who turned out to be a really great person ?
Possible, but it's not like I just met her or will never see her again. :hmm:
Quote from: Caliga on December 15, 2011, 02:14:09 PM
Possible, but it's not like I just met her or will never see her again. :hmm:
You would have been too mesmerized by her ample boobage to hear anything she said anyway.
There was a chick with giant boobs (and a surprisingly tiny ass :hmm: ) at the interview I was at yesterday. But the face? If she was 45, I give her a passing grade ('cause seriously that ass was fantastic). But the tattoos suggest younger + drugs. :(
Quote from: Valmy on December 15, 2011, 02:15:04 PM
You would have been too mesmerized by her ample boobage to hear anything she said anyway.
I would have kept the immortal words of Bill Champlin, Peter Cetera's mediocre replacement in Chicago, in mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uem3IM9ppc4&feature=fvst (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uem3IM9ppc4&feature=fvst)
Quote from: Ideologue on December 15, 2011, 02:17:06 PM
There was a chick with giant boobs (and a surprisingly tiny ass :hmm: ) at the interview I was at yesterday. But the face? If she was 45, I give her a passing grade ('cause seriously that ass was fantastic). But the tattoos suggest younger + drugs. :(
Drugs and smoking (especially smoking) make chicks look way older than they are. :(
Quote from: Caliga on December 15, 2011, 02:26:31 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 15, 2011, 02:17:06 PM
There was a chick with giant boobs (and a surprisingly tiny ass :hmm: ) at the interview I was at yesterday. But the face? If she was 45, I give her a passing grade ('cause seriously that ass was fantastic). But the tattoos suggest younger + drugs. :(
Drugs and smoking (especially smoking) make chicks look way older than they are. :(
Tell it to the judge, pedo.
:lmfao:
Quote from: Caliga on December 15, 2011, 01:19:25 PMI don't understand the female creature. :blush:
Neither do they.
Quote from: stjaba on December 15, 2011, 01:09:34 PM
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on December 15, 2011, 07:53:31 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on December 15, 2011, 07:39:42 AMLaw school: like an MRS degree for fags?
Now that you mention it, I don't know a single single gay man at law school. :hmm: And what has Faeelin been up to?...
I think he was looking for a clerkship.
I know plenty of law school gays, both male and female. I would figure the percentage of gays would be higher in the Ivy League... :hmm:
Plenty of gay men around, but they all seem to be in relationships. :hmm:
Maybe what I'm describing as long term friendships is a bit more closer than some here mean when they're talking about friendships ? :unsure:
Some of your are from the 'facebook generation'. :P
Quote from: Caliga on December 15, 2011, 01:52:38 PM
Honestly, I think part of it for me is that I only have a brother (no sisters), and my dad is basically as masculine as is humanly possible with his interests, which are basically limited to investing, fishing, woodworking, and auto racing.
That's part of it for me as well. I had two brothers & no sisters, so my mom pretty much had to like going to sporting events & watching football on TV or else not hang out with us. With her occasional mood swings & whatnot I honestly thought my mom was mentally ill until I started dating and realized all women are like that.
Whenever we had family reunions on my dad's side of the family it was even more male-dominated. We a streak of 12 consecutive male births-- the first of which was my dad and the last of which was my son.
My wife's family is pretty much the opposite. Females ruled (and still rule) the roost and often the smartest thing to do if you're a male is to stay out of the way.