Long Term Friendships With Those Of Your Sexual Preference ?

[Ideologue]

It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner.  Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.

Ditto-- with the addition that if she is less attractive, then I get concerned about her being attracted to me. 

So I guess effectively the answer is "no" for me.

Actually, I'll qualify that.  I'm not a particularly envious fellow (), so "if my SO is fully attractive," I suppose even a more attractive female friend might not bother me.  However, the boredom/sameness--let alone decreased sexual frequency--of later stages of relationships (unavoidable? certainly it violates no law of physics to avoid it, no matter how analogous it may be to entropy ) may make this less covetous-sounding reformulation unworkable.

And this time in English please.

You will read my parenthetical asides and like them.

But put simply, if a girlfriend meets my basic standards (>120lbs., brunette, comfortable with a bob cut, accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression, believes in Keynesian stimulus, likes cowgirl, takes it on the face), then I could establish friendly relationships with women more attractive than she without sexual tension or more than the most cursory of sexual desire.

However, this may not be tenable in a very long-term relationship unless care is taken that the conditions supporting happiness remain firmly in place--principally her appearance changes only with the unavoidable wear of age, not the fully avoidable ballooning of a calorie imbalance, and the regularity of sexual congress.

[Ed Anger]

accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression

Ugh, you are one of those. I love MST3K as much as the next person, but the next jackass that interrupts my movie viewing shall receive a pistol whipping.

I'm afraid we can't date. 

[Jacob]

You will read my parenthetical asides and like them.

But put simply, if a girlfriend meets my basic standards (>120lbs., brunette, comfortable with a bob cut, accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression, believes in Keynesian stimulus, likes cowgirl, takes it on the face), then I could establish friendly relationships with women more attractive than she without sexual tension or more than the most cursory of sexual desire.

Heavier than 120 lbs?

[Ideologue]

accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression

Ugh, you are one of those. I love MST3K as much as the next person, but the next jackass that interrupts my movie viewing shall receive a pistol whipping.

I'm afraid we can't date. 

It only counts if a professional is doing it.  I try not to interrupt movies, mostly.  Previews are totally fair game, though.

And it's okay.  I've got my fall-back in Valmy.

[Ed Anger]

accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression

Ugh, you are one of those. I love MST3K as much as the next person, but the next jackass that interrupts my movie viewing shall receive a pistol whipping.

I'm afraid we can't date. 

It only counts if a professional is doing it.  I try not to interrupt movies, mostly.  Previews are totally fair game, though.

And it's okay.  I've got my fall-back in Valmy.

He'll make you eat chili full of meat and no beans.

[Ideologue]

You will read my parenthetical asides and like them.

But put simply, if a girlfriend meets my basic standards (>120lbs., brunette, comfortable with a bob cut, accepts movie riffing as the highest form of human expression, believes in Keynesian stimulus, likes cowgirl, takes it on the face), then I could establish friendly relationships with women more attractive than she without sexual tension or more than the most cursory of sexual desire.

Heavier than 120 lbs?

Oops.  Inequality fail.

And I'll note that that's a rule of thumb, based on average height.  It can vary.  I am flexible.

[Malthus]

But they were always handy with things like 'Any woman would be lucky to have you!  Pity all my friends are gay/dudes/taken.'  Damn them.

You know I think I'm going to go out on a limb and say in your situation, I think it sounds like they enjoy/ed your 'male company or attention' too much to risk having it curtailed by them finding you a date or long term partner.

More likely, they worry that by setting two friends up, you end up losing one or both if the relationship goes badly.

This implies the person has to take sides in any break up ?

Not necessaily. But it can happen that way, sometimes, like it or not.

edit:
Oh that reminds me, Malthus I need to pm/email you to ask you some advice about a political issues situation you might find rather interesting.

No prob.

[Ideologue]

He'll make you eat chili full of meat and no beans.

A feeder, eh?  Gross.

Oh that reminds me, Malthus I need to pm/email you to ask you some advice about a political issues situation you might find rather interesting.

It's anti-stroller legislation that just issued from Commons.

[Eddie Teach]

Is this about Swallow?

I think you should confess your love in some dramatic fashion, but preferably before her wedding ceremony. 

[mongers]

Interesting.

They were both colleagues at my last pre-career job. We spent several years seeing each other all day five days a week and spending all night drinking about five nights a week as well; it was more of a group thing but it was long enough and intense enough that friendships lasted long after we stopped working at the movie theatre.

With one of them, we almost always argued in that classical rom-com "destined to be together" kind of way (except I always thought she was joking when she was annoyed at me and just argued because I thought it was entertaining) and there was one month where I thought I had a bit of a crush on her. With the other one there was one drunken night of boundary crossing that we agreed to pretend never happened (and that she barely remembered, she had to ask me the details the next day).

Ultimately, however, we usually had other interests that were higher priority so we fitted fairly well into each other's "friend zones" as it were. The friendships developed out of long term association and shared social lives; some attraction followed, it wasn't really that strong when it was tested and was thus put by the wayside, but the friendship remained.

It's not necessarily typical, I don't think. There are plenty of female friends I haven't stayed in contact with. I expect that's because fundamentally there was unresolved or disappointed sexual attraction underneath it all.

Well to be fair, Jacob you're a very handsome man, I think many of us Languishite will not have been so lucky. In short I'd guess most of you female friends or acquaintances will have initially fancied you, if not continued to have. 

[Ideologue]

Is this about Swallow?

I think you should confess your love in some dramatic fashion, but preferably before her wedding ceremony. 

IN YOUR EYES (THE LIGHT THE HEAT)

When Mongers wants to run away, what does he drive off in?

[Ed Anger]

Is this about Swallow?

I think you should confess your love in some dramatic fashion, but preferably before her wedding ceremony. 

IN YOUR EYES (THE LIGHT THE HEAT)

When Mongers wants to run away, what does he drive off in?

A 40 year old huffy.

[Martinus]

Unlike mongers, I have standards, which means I don't want to fuck every gay guy I know.

That being said, all my gay friends fall into three categories: (i) guys I fucked, (ii) guys I want to fuck, and (iii) guys I wouldn't fuck even if I was paid to.

Edit: Coming to think about it, out of my three closest self-identified straight male friends, I had homoerotic experiences with two, and the third one is fugly.

[DGuller]

Females ask me to be just friends all the time. 

[Josquius]

I can't really keep many friendships long term never mind with girls. :p
But I tend to be friends with women and men equally- more towards women on occasion even.

There was some awkward awkwardness related to this on the weekend when first at some Jet get together me and a girl I hang out with a fair bit were voted best should be couple (no. interest. whatsoever). At the demands to kiss I promptly hid under the table and waited for things to blow over. Which was possibly a bit insulting for her. Maybe. And then later that night at a pub a bunch of us went to a Japanese guy decided we were together.

So I would rather the girls I'm friends with and have no interest in be in relationships. At least that way nobody thinks such sillyness.