Long Term Friendships With Those Of Your Sexual Preference ?

[mongers]

How easy is it to sustain them in the long run ?

Personally I've had a golden rule that once a female friend enters into a serious / long term relationship or gets married, then I tend to make myself very scarce / exit stage left.

However it's not a actual golden rule as I've made two exceptions to it and yet in hindsight I think I should have applied it rigorously. 

[Valmy]

I have not noticed any differences really with my relationships with my male friends.  We rarely get to hang out because everybody is so busy in this phase of our lives.  But we are still friends.  I suspect as everybody's kids get older we will hang out more again.

[mongers]

I have not noticed any differences really with my relationships with my male friends.  We rarely get to hang out because everybody is so busy in this phase of our lives.  But we are still friends.  I suspect as everybody's kids get older we will hang out more again.

Didn't know you fancied men.   

[Ideologue]

It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner.  Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.

Also, if no other impediments are present--like a preexisting relationship, she's gay, I'm physically unattractive in her eyes--if a person doesn't at least vaguely want to have sex with me, then can I really call them my friend?  They have judged my personality and character and found me defective in some fashion.  That's not a very good basis for genuine friendship.

Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results.

[Valmy]

Didn't know you fancied men.  

I don't.  That is why I specified there are no differences with my male friends.  If I fancied men I would say I didn't notice any differences between them and my female friends.

[Valmy]

Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results.

I guess I don't get it.

I was supposed to talk about how it was between me and my female friends right?  Well I did not notice any differences with my relationships with my male friends.  They have basically gone the same.

[mongers]

It's certainly possible, although it's mildly uncomfortable unless I'm getting regular sex and if the woman is less attractive than my regular sexual partner.  Not a particularly enlightened thing to say, I suppose, but if I like a person, and they are female, it follows naturally and logically that I would want to fuck them/date them/what have you.

Also, if no other impediments are present--like a preexisting relationship, she's gay, I'm physically unattractive in her eyes--if a person doesn't at least vaguely want to have sex with me, then can I really call them my friend?  They have judged my personality and character and found me defective in some fashion.  That's not a very good basis for genuine friendship.

Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results.

Props for the honesty. 

For me I'm not so sure, I think it's entirely possible, but them having a long term partner I think can 'unbalance' the friendship in terms of mechanics of maintaining it.

I've certainly had one or two female friend of decades+ whom I didn't fancy at all. 

[mongers]

Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results.

I guess I don't get it.

I was supposed to talk about how it was between me and my female friends right?  Well I did not notice any differences with my relationships with my male friends.  They have basically gone the same.

With Those Of Your Sexual Preference.

[Maximus]

Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results.

I guess I don't get it.

I'm guessing if you had said "I have not noticed any differences really from my relationships with my male friends" it would have been less confusing. As it was it could have gone either way.

[Valmy]

With Those Of Your Sexual Preference.

Ok...so if I am straight I talk about my relationships with my female friends.

IT HAS GONE THE SAME AS IT HAS WITH MY MALE FRIENDS.  I HAVE NOT NOTICED ANY DIFFERENCES.

How saying that means I am gay I am not sure.

[Ideologue]

Also: Valmy can't read, with amusing results.

I guess I don't get it.

I was supposed to talk about how it was between me and my female friends right?  Well I did not notice any differences with my relationships with my male friends.  They have basically gone the same.

Oh, no differences between them and your male friends.

It makes more sense now.

[Malthus]

My best friend for the past 25 years is a woman.

[Ideologue]

My best friend for the past 25 years is a woman.

Oh, gawd.

Edit: oh, wait, I remember now; you didn't mean your wife.

[mongers]

With Those Of Your Sexual Preference.

Ok...so if I am straight I talk about my relationships with my female friends.

IT HAS GONE THE SAME AS IT HAS WITH MY MALE FRIENDS.  I HAVE NOT NOTICED ANY DIFFERENCES.

How saying that means I am gay I am not sure.

Interesting that we derail a thread dealing with feelings into one about comprehension issue, how typically Languish; all we need now is a dispute about a typo and debate about the semantics involved and I can lock the thread as complete

[Valmy]

I'm guessing if you had said "I have not noticed any differences really from my relationships with my male friends" it would have been less confusing. As it was it could have gone either way.

But really if I was talking about dudes why would I specify that there were no differences with my male friends?  Differences from what?

But I guess with regards to what Ideologue was saying I wonder if it has something to do with having a sister.  I just sort of 'friend zone' women and it is no big deal.