This is extremely distressing for me. Last month, my mom left for her friends house (a female friend), to spend spring break. That's not uncommon. She's been visiting her best friend a lot lately. Except this time, she doesn't come back. She's been there for a month and isn't coming back. She said she may come back to pick up some of her stuff, but that's about it. She has told me she is coming back several times but so far these were all just lies. She hasn't even told me why she's up there. She just makes dubious statements about "figuring it out" and "needing space". Since she uses that goddamn Facebook, I've created an account as well, just so I can communicate with her (She's not always answering the phone). I had a bit of a nervous break and was hospitalized last week, but she never came to visit me there. She's dropped out of school, and is not doing anything up in Illinois as far as I can tell. Nobody in my family knows why she's doing this. My brother is baffled, my Dad's convinced she's got a lover and is depressed, and my sister thinks she's just selfish. I think it's some kind of midlife crisis. She was going to a community college and hanging out with older teenager girls and kids in their twenties. I fear some of the stupidity has worn off on her because she been using phrases like "go live your own life" and other platitudes.
So, I may make a trip soon. If she can't give me a straight answer over the phone perhaps she will in person. I don't really like traveling places, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I've got a little under 500 bucks, so I'll see what I can do. It will be undoubtedly dangerous, and I may not come back. Advice and opinions are as always, welcome. Even stupid advice.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 03, 2011, 10:50:33 PM
I fear some of the stupidity has worn off on her because she been using phrases like "go live your own life" and other platitudes.
:lol:
p.s. Your parents are getting a divorce.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 03, 2011, 10:50:33 PM
This is extremely distressing for me. Last month, my mom left for her friends house (a female friend), to spend spring break. That's not uncommon. She's been visiting her best friend a lot lately. Except this time, she doesn't come back. She's been there for a month and isn't coming back. She said she may come back to pick up some of her stuff, but that's about it. She has told me she is coming back several times but so far these were all just lies. She hasn't even told me why she's up there. She just makes dubious statements about "figuring it out" and "needing space". Since she uses that goddamn Facebook, I've created an account as well, just so I can communicate with her (She's not always answering the phone). I had a bit of a nervous break and was hospitalized last week, but she never came to visit me there. She's dropped out of school, and is not doing anything up in Illinois as far as I can tell. Nobody in my family knows why she's doing this. My brother is baffled, my Dad's convinced she's got a lover and is depressed, and my sister thinks she's just selfish. I think it's some kind of midlife crisis. She was going to a community college and hanging out with older teenager girls and kids in their twenties. I fear some of the stupidity has worn off on her because she been using phrases like "go live your own life" and other platitudes.
So, I may make a trip soon. If she can't give me a straight answer over the phone perhaps she will in person. I don't really like traveling places, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I've got a little under 500 bucks, so I'll see what I can do. It will be undoubtedly dangerous, and I may not come back. Advice and opinions are as always, welcome. Even stupid advice.
So... I don't know you really much. In fact, not at all. I'm not sure this is the best place to discuss such things. But since you insist...
Your mom doesn't seem like the kind of mother who deeply cares about her children. Has she always been like this?
How good are your relations with your brother, your sister and your dad? I think you should count on the rest of your family and forget your mother for the time being.
Whatever the reason for her behavior, this is her own life and it has nothing to with you. Just remember that. People around you may act cracy, but it shouldn't affect you. You have to build a brickwall all around your head, where nothing can come through it unless you want to.
And at 29, yeah, you should really live your own life, not care too much about your irresponsible mother.
Quote from: viper37 on April 03, 2011, 11:02:04 PM
And at 29, yeah, you should really live your own life, not care too much about your irresponsible mother.
If one has previously had a good relationship with one's mother then I think that at any age one would extremely concerned if your mother underwent a negative personality transformation.
No, she hasn't always been like this. If she wants to cut ties from our family, fine. I just want a straight answer. Then I'll go to the shooting rampage.
:hmm: Hmmm. I might need to pick up some things for the trip.
Good luck Raz,
My cousin has been dealing with similar thing for almost past year.
Last July his wife quit her job, went down to San Francisco with their youngest to visit her parents, sent her son back in time for school to start, but didn't tell him she wasn't coming back at same time.
She wouldn't give him an answer when he asked when she was coming back, never said she wanted a divorce, turns out between quitting the job and going to San Francisco she admitted herself into hospital for review.
She finally came back in october, but when her dad died at end of January went down and again hasn't come back up and won't tell him when. Since they have a mortgage he's scrambling to pay the bills as a single income family now that she had flaked.
I am the sort of person who loves and insists on straight answers. I give straight answers even when it is not appropriate to do so, and I expect the same from people around me. I am just that way. I want 100% explicit certainty, not 99.999% implicit truths. That's unfortunately not the way the rest of the population prefer to behave, so I've gotten my share of troubles for this trait.
People desire deniability and ambiguity. They like to think that if they don't say it, they can always deny it. No matter how hard you press, chances are, they won't say it. They will dodge, lie, explode, accuse, counter-attack, go nuclear, but they won't say it.
You know what I've found? Say it for them. You can't control what they say, but you can control what you say. You know she won't come back, you know she doesn't care, and you know the reasons. If you do confront her personally, and I am not discouraging you, don't press for an answer, because you won't get it.
Just say it for her. Say what she is too cowardly to admit. In her face. That is the way I like it. It is probably the way you like it too :hug:
Quote from: Razgovory on April 03, 2011, 11:09:51 PM
No, she hasn't always been like this. If she wants to cut ties from our family, fine. I just want a straight answer. Then I'll go to the shooting rampage.
You will waste time and energy, and if you just suffered a nervous breakdown, now is no the time to confront anyone.
Forget about her for now, not forever, just for a little while. Let time settle things, let see where this goes. Expecting a straight answer from someone in a situation like this, where nobody in your family knows what's going on is just asking for more trouble.
If she tells you, out of hanger, that she never loved you, that you're the source of all her problems, that she never had a good life because of her kids, are you ready to hear that and live a normal life after? No you ain't. And she might say that even though she doesn't reall think this, but I've seen this happenning. So, let it go for now.
In a few months, when your feet are more grounded and your prepared to face her, go and ask her. Now, live your own life dammit. If she doesn't want to be helped, you won't succeed. And if you're down again, you won't help anyone.
I swear I've seen this movie before but I can't remember the title.
Anyway, gluck Raz.
My friend's widowed mother started her first lesbian relationship after retirement. Just throwing that in the mix.
I don't know how old your sister is, but you and your dad are old enough to look after yourselves and give her space. I wouldn't confront her, she'll feel cornered, especially if she's depressed. Why not call or write saying sorry she's going through a hard time, you hope she'll explain what she's going through in her own time and when she's ready you'll offer all the love and support she needs, whatever the outcome.
See, if you'd had left home years ago, this would be of little concern to you, Raz. :)
Quote from: Razgovory on April 03, 2011, 10:50:33 PM
She was going to a community college and hanging out with older teenager girls and kids in their twenties. I fear some of the stupidity has worn off on her because she been using phrases like "go live your own life" and other platitudes.
lol, awesome.
QuoteSo, I may make a trip soon. If she can't give me a straight answer over the phone perhaps she will in person. I don't really like traveling places, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I've got a little under 500 bucks, so I'll see what I can do. It will be undoubtedly dangerous, and I may not come back. Advice and opinions are as always, welcome. Even stupid advice.
Take a pen and paper. Take notes. There's a heartwarming, bittersweet yet ultimately redemptive screenplay in there somewhere.
Quote from: Brazen on April 04, 2011, 03:43:57 AM
My friend's widowed mother started her first lesbian relationship after retirement. Just throwing that in the mix.
I don't know how old your sister is, but you and your dad are old enough to look after yourselves and give her space. I wouldn't confront her, she'll feel cornered, especially if she's depressed. Why not call or write saying sorry she's going through a hard time, you hope she'll explain what she's going through in her own time and when she's ready you'll offer all the love and support she needs, whatever the outcome.
This.
I hate to say this, Raz, because you know I adore you... but this isn't about you. She's trying to figure things out for herself, and with her children grown, she finally has time to do so. Cut her some slack, try to be understanding of what SHE'S going through for once instead of expecting her to drop everything for you, and show a little support for the woman who's helped you through hell and back for years.
Quote from: viper37 on April 03, 2011, 11:02:04 PM
Your mom doesn't seem like the kind of mother who deeply cares about her children. Has she always been like this?
And at 29, yeah, you should really live your own life, not care too much about your irresponsible mother.
Wow... just wow. She's a grown woman with grown children. Her only true responsibility anymore is to herself, with her husband a close second. If at 29 and beyond her children can't fend for themselves, that's not really her problem. It doesn't mean that she doesn't "deeply care" for her children; it means she's ready to take care of herself first for a while. And she's not irresponsible to do so, either. In fact, I'd argue that she's taking responsibility for herself for once.
I'm sorry you're hurting Raz. I know this is incredibly hard for you. But seriously, you need to adjust the way you're thinking about this. It's not about you.
Fucking hippies.
Sounds like the plot of a Lifetime movie. Stay clear of it.
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 06:37:46 AM
Quote from: Brazen on April 04, 2011, 03:43:57 AM
My friend's widowed mother started her first lesbian relationship after retirement. Just throwing that in the mix.
I don't know how old your sister is, but you and your dad are old enough to look after yourselves and give her space. I wouldn't confront her, she'll feel cornered, especially if she's depressed. Why not call or write saying sorry she's going through a hard time, you hope she'll explain what she's going through in her own time and when she's ready you'll offer all the love and support she needs, whatever the outcome.
This.
I hate to say this, Raz, because you know I adore you... but this isn't about you. She's trying to figure things out for herself, and with her children grown, she finally has time to do so. Cut her some slack, try to be understanding of what SHE'S going through for once instead of expecting her to drop everything for you, and show a little support for the woman who's helped you through hell and back for years.
Quote from: viper37 on April 03, 2011, 11:02:04 PM
Your mom doesn't seem like the kind of mother who deeply cares about her children. Has she always been like this?
And at 29, yeah, you should really live your own life, not care too much about your irresponsible mother.
Wow... just wow. She's a grown woman with grown children. Her only true responsibility anymore is to herself, with her husband a close second. If at 29 and beyond her children can't fend for themselves, that's not really her problem. It doesn't mean that she doesn't "deeply care" for her children; it means she's ready to take care of herself first for a while. And she's not irresponsible to do so, either. In fact, I'd argue that she's taking responsibility for herself for once.
I'm sorry you're hurting Raz. I know this is incredibly hard for you. But seriously, you need to adjust the way you're thinking about this. It's not about you.
I agree that Raz should leave her mother alone so she can figure it out herself.
But the whole "move out without giving a clue to the family" thing seems really cruel on her part.
Finding her own way (btw, founding a family and raising children should be a result of that, not the barrier to it, ideally) is all nice, but leaving the others hanging, without a clue, is just wrong.
Quote from: Tamas on April 04, 2011, 06:55:19 AM
But the whole "move out without giving a clue to the family" thing seems really cruel on her part.
Depends on the intent. Suppose for a second that she doesn't know what she could say to them? If she can't say anything to her family, then she isn't being cruel to not say anything.
In general, I find it more effective to restrict assumptions of malice to cases where no other assumption will work. That's not the case here.
How hard is it to say: I don't know what to tell you. I'm figuring things out.
Besides, one can be cruel without intentionally meaning to be.
Quote from: garbon on April 04, 2011, 07:32:25 AM
How hard is it to say: I don't know what to tell you. I'm figuring things out.
Besides, one can be cruel without intentionally meaning to be.
According to Raz, she's done that.
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 06:37:46 AM
Wow... just wow. She's a grown woman with grown children. Her only true responsibility anymore is to herself, with her husband a close second. If at 29 and beyond her children can't fend for themselves, that's not really her problem. It doesn't mean that she doesn't "deeply care" for her children; it means she's ready to take care of herself first for a while. And she's not irresponsible to do so, either. In fact, I'd argue that she's taking responsibility for herself for once.
I'm sorry you're hurting Raz. I know this is incredibly hard for you. But seriously, you need to adjust the way you're thinking about this. It's not about you.
I don't know if I understand Raz correctly. My impression is that his mom's words do not match her actions. What he wants is a straight answer. If she has run away, fine. She is an adult, and so are her children and all that. But at least, have the guts to admit it. To say that "I have run away and may or may not come back. Suck it."
Quote from: Monoriu on April 04, 2011, 07:49:19 AM
I don't know if I understand Raz correctly. My impression is that his mom's words do not match her actions. What he wants is a straight answer. If she has run away, fine. She is an adult, and so are her children and all that. But at least, have the guts to admit it. To say that "I have run away and may or may not come back. Suck it."
And if she doesn't have clear answers for herself? If that's exactly what she ran away to figure out?
Believe it or not, she may not have answers to give to anyone, and even if she did and she chooses not to share those yet, that's her business. Raz knows where she is. It's not as if she's fallen off the face of the earth. Hell, even I could send her a message if I wanted to on Facebook.
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 06:37:46 AM
Wow... just wow. She's a grown woman with grown children. Her only true responsibility anymore is to herself, with her husband a close second. If at 29 and beyond her children can't fend for themselves, that's not really her problem. It doesn't mean that she doesn't "deeply care" for her children; it means she's ready to take care of herself first for a while. And she's not irresponsible to do so, either. In fact, I'd argue that she's taking responsibility for herself for once.
Dropping out of school and moving away to figure stuff out while lying to your family that you are going to come home any day now doesn't sound very grown up or responsible...
I can see giving her her space and respecting she is going through tough times...but this is responsible behavior? Really?
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 07:52:37 AM
Quote from: Monoriu on April 04, 2011, 07:49:19 AM
I don't know if I understand Raz correctly. My impression is that his mom's words do not match her actions. What he wants is a straight answer. If she has run away, fine. She is an adult, and so are her children and all that. But at least, have the guts to admit it. To say that "I have run away and may or may not come back. Suck it."
And if she doesn't have clear answers for herself? If that's exactly what she ran away to figure out?
Believe it or not, she may not have answers to give to anyone, and even if she did and she chooses not to share those yet, that's her business. Raz knows where she is. It's not as if she's fallen off the face of the earth. Hell, even I could send her a message if I wanted to on Facebook.
True enough but if you want Raz to act like an adult, shouldn't you expect the same from his mother?
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 07:52:37 AM
And if she doesn't have clear answers for herself? If that's exactly what she ran away to figure out?
Then she should remember that she's a fucking adult. Goddamn infants like that should be drowned on sight. Running away to find answers? Sounds like somebody read Eat, Pray, Love or whatever the fuck it is that Oprah tells people to read.
I think Meri and Brazen show some good insight on this. I'd be inclined to go more along with what they're saying.
Quote from: KRonn on April 04, 2011, 08:02:55 AM
I think Meri and Brazen show some good insight on this. I'd be inclined to go more along with what they're saying.
Yes they are giving a valid insight on the personal part of it.
But part of being an adult is that you take responsibility for stuff. Like a family you co-founded. Even if you think its valid to just forget about the children after you are not legally obliged to shelter them, and just ignore their feelings from there on out, she still have her husband to be fair with.
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 07:52:37 AM
Quote from: Monoriu on April 04, 2011, 07:49:19 AM
I don't know if I understand Raz correctly. My impression is that his mom's words do not match her actions. What he wants is a straight answer. If she has run away, fine. She is an adult, and so are her children and all that. But at least, have the guts to admit it. To say that "I have run away and may or may not come back. Suck it."
And if she doesn't have clear answers for herself? If that's exactly what she ran away to figure out?
Believe it or not, she may not have answers to give to anyone, and even if she did and she chooses not to share those yet, that's her business. Raz knows where she is. It's not as if she's fallen off the face of the earth. Hell, even I could send her a message if I wanted to on Facebook.
Then say it. Say "I have no clue." Not "I will come back" and then don't.
It doesn't help that she just swiped 500 bucks from my dad's account, and now wants to file separate tax returns. That'll cost us an additional 1,800. She may very well cause us to lose our house.
This is what she put on her facebook
QuoteI am currently NOT a student at Metro Business College studying Medical Billing and coding.My children are grown. I was a city councilperson and was involved in political stuff for over 20 years but became a bit burned out.
I am ready to do something different and NOW I finally know what it is.
So she thinks she knows why she's doing this. I don't think she wants to answer me because it means coming to terms with the fact that she's being irrational and selfish. She seems to just want to be out there pretending she's a 17 year old girl or some such nonsense.
Quote from: Tamas on April 04, 2011, 08:06:03 AM
Quote from: KRonn on April 04, 2011, 08:02:55 AM
I think Meri and Brazen show some good insight on this. I'd be inclined to go more along with what they're saying.
Yes they are giving a valid insight on the personal part of it.
But part of being an adult is that you take responsibility for stuff. Like a family you co-founded. Even if you think its valid to just forget about the children after you are not legally obliged to shelter them, and just ignore their feelings from there on out, she still have her husband to be fair with.
A husband who is sick, and a son who is mentally disabled. My old man, is not well. In the last six years he has been in the hospital twice with life threatening illness. Now mind you, my mom doesn't actually do much to take care of us. Mostly should just sits on her ass and watches TV, but at least there was some kind of moral support.
Quote from: garbon on April 04, 2011, 07:32:25 AM
How hard is it to say: I don't know what to tell you. I'm figuring things out.
In her position, i don't know. Do you know?
Raz, I am sorry this does not sound very nice.
But still: do not waste money and energy on confronting her in person. She may realize (sooner than you might think) what she has done, on her own. You pushing her can only make that process slower.
What you should use your energy on is yourself. Try to keep yourself together as much as possible in your condition, both for you and your dad.
Quote from: grumbler on April 04, 2011, 08:33:05 AM
Quote from: garbon on April 04, 2011, 07:32:25 AM
How hard is it to say: I don't know what to tell you. I'm figuring things out.
In her position, i don't know. Do you know?
It's true...I am making the assumption that she can still speak.
It's a shit move on her part by the looks of it but, eh, it happens. People flake out and hurt their loved ones all the time.
Hope this dosen't turn out too bad for you Raz. :hug:
It is irresponsible and hurtful for someone to just up and leave their family with little or no explanation. Certainly not nearly *as* irresponsible and hurtful as if her kids were not grown, but irresponsible and hurtful nonetheless.
On the other hand, your mom seems to be going through some tough emotional times, as are you all. Perhaps this is her equivalent of going to the looney bin?
As to what you should do, I suppose the most useful advice I can give is that you should try and remind yourself that it's ultimately not really your problem and that you should try not to get too tied up in it. Yes she is your mom and you love her, but if she is acting in a hurtful or unstable fashion, it behoves you try and separate yourself from it emotionally as much as you can.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 08:30:38 AM
A husband who is sick, and a son who is mentally disabled. My old man, is not well. In the last six years he has been in the hospital twice with life threatening illness. Now mind you, my mom doesn't actually do much to take care of us. Mostly should just sits on her ass and watches TV, but at least there was some kind of moral support.
:hmm: I don't see that her moral support has helped you with your life and various issues all that much. She may view you as a personal failure of hers and maybe she's just given up trying.
Princesca's aunt has a son who is in a similar situation, though he does have a job... it's just some part time thing with UPS and he still lives at home and all that. Though she never says anything to him about her disappointment (which quite frankly is part of the problem IMO) she'll rant and scream and cry to her sisters, parents, etc. about it all the time. She views it as a personal failure on her part and herself as a failed mother, though her other child is in college and doing quite well for herself.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 08:26:31 AM
It doesn't help that she just swiped 500 bucks from my dad's account, and now wants to file separate tax returns. That'll cost us an additional 1,800. She may very well cause us to lose our house.
She stole $500.00 from your dad? That seems a bit beyond the pale to me...
Quote from: Valmy on April 04, 2011, 10:21:25 AM
She stole $500.00 from your dad? That seems a bit beyond the pale to me...
Now, now, she's on a magic quest to go live her own life.
Well I called my mom up. Told her I was going to head up there, which seems to have bothered her. She promised she would return next Monday and "hash" all this out. We shall see. <_<
Though I would prefer to have her here for the confrontation. I don't have a new traveling hat yet. Dry Cleaner destroyed my old one.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 08:30:38 AM
A husband who is sick, and a son who is mentally disabled. My old man, is not well. In the last six years he has been in the hospital twice with life threatening illness. Now mind you, my mom doesn't actually do much to take care of us. Mostly should just sits on her ass and watches TV, but at least there was some kind of moral support.
Sounds like she's been dealing with a lot for quite a long while. I'm not surprised that she needed a break from all of it, especially if she's dealing with depression due to the circumstances around her.
Raz, you have every right to feel how you feel. You have every right to be furious with her, hurt, angry, upset, and whatever else comes up. My only point was that she also has every right to feel how she feels, and while I don't agree with how she's handling it, I do feel for her, too. There is no easy way to extricate oneself from a situation like this, and she chose one of the worst ways to do it. Nonetheless, she's hurting, too, and that should be remembered.
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 06:37:46 AM
Wow... just wow. She's a grown woman with grown children. Her only true responsibility anymore is to herself, with her husband a close second. If at 29 and beyond her children can't fend for themselves, that's not really her problem. It doesn't mean that she doesn't "deeply care" for her children; it means she's ready to take care of herself first for a while. And she's not irresponsible to do so, either. In fact, I'd argue that she's taking responsibility for herself for once.
I'm sorry you're hurting Raz. I know this is incredibly hard for you. But seriously, you need to adjust the way you're thinking about this. It's not about you.
If one of your kids is 29 and goes to the hospital for a nervous breakdown, will you stay home or will you visit him? Raz seems to have an history of mental problems, and I think most mothers would at least visit their kid in the hospital. That's what my grandma did for my uncles, all her life.
Besides, Raz hinted she has cut all ties with her family, so, really, what kind of mother does that, even to her adult childs? Do you see yourself cutting all ties to your kids once they're older?
She doesn't have the right to take 500 bucks, and flee. She doesn't have the right to lie to me or the rest of her family. I have no idea what she's feeling. She won't tell me. Apparently she's been planning this for a long time. I am not sympathetic. Feeling bad is one thing. Go to a doctor. Wrecking the lives of your family, because you want to be a teenager again is not a good thing.
Quote from: viper37 on April 04, 2011, 12:30:15 PM
Quote from: merithyn on April 04, 2011, 06:37:46 AM
Wow... just wow. She's a grown woman with grown children. Her only true responsibility anymore is to herself, with her husband a close second. If at 29 and beyond her children can't fend for themselves, that's not really her problem. It doesn't mean that she doesn't "deeply care" for her children; it means she's ready to take care of herself first for a while. And she's not irresponsible to do so, either. In fact, I'd argue that she's taking responsibility for herself for once.
I'm sorry you're hurting Raz. I know this is incredibly hard for you. But seriously, you need to adjust the way you're thinking about this. It's not about you.
If one of your kids is 29 and goes to the hospital for a nervous breakdown, will you stay home or will you visit him?
Well, I was planning it to be a suicide. People meddle to much.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 12:31:22 PM
She doesn't have the right to take 500 bucks, and flee. She doesn't have the right to lie to me or the rest of her family.
I could have sympathy but the lying and the stealing makes this different.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 12:32:12 PM
Well, I was planning it to be a suicide.
what would that achieve, really? Isn't it a coward's way to leave the Earth? You flee in front of adversity instead of fighting your way through rough times?
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 12:32:12 PM
Well, I was planning it to be a suicide. People meddle to much.
We love you Raz don't leave us :(
You have pinpointed the problem a couple of times already Raz. She hangs out with late teens-early 20s girls. She's stock in a what could have been loop coupled with a "let's get drunk" entourage.
She's also depressed. Just to make sure everyone would think she's an immature bitch she ran away.
Quote from: viper37 on April 04, 2011, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 12:32:12 PM
Well, I was planning it to be a suicide.
what would that achieve, really? Isn't it a coward's way to leave the Earth? You flee in front of adversity instead of fighting your way through rough times?
Well, I contacted the Japanese consulate but they wouldn't lend me an old Zero. I was intending to do it in a very brave way.
Yeah, it sounds like her life is just as depressing as Raz's is. So I don't think it is fair for people to be attacking her like that...
Quote from: Grey Fox on April 04, 2011, 12:40:49 PM
You have pinpointed the problem a couple of times already Raz. She hangs out with late teens-early 20s girls. She's stock in a what could have been loop coupled with a "let's get drunk" entourage.
She's also depressed.
She's doing the former because of the latter. :contract:
Quote from: Valmy on April 04, 2011, 12:35:54 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 12:32:12 PM
Well, I was planning it to be a suicide. People meddle to much.
We love you Raz don't leave us :(
Yeah its not funny Raz, you freaked me out :(
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 12:57:21 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on April 04, 2011, 12:40:49 PM
You have pinpointed the problem a couple of times already Raz. She hangs out with late teens-early 20s girls. She's stock in a what could have been loop coupled with a "let's get drunk" entourage.
She's also depressed.
She's doing the former because of the latter. :contract:
I agree. I suspect she's been depressed for quite sometime. Couple of years.
Probably longer. She has never been the same since her mother died back in '94.
Quote from: Tamas on April 04, 2011, 01:02:59 PM
Quote from: Valmy on April 04, 2011, 12:35:54 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 12:32:12 PM
Well, I was planning it to be a suicide. People meddle to much.
We love you Raz don't leave us :(
Yeah its not funny Raz, you freaked me out :(
Incidentally Tamas, this is what I have.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder
Someday I'll probably lose all contact with reality.
That sounds way more serious than Asparagus Burger. When did you get the new diagnosis?
Isn't there some controversy going on now within the field of psychiatry about whether personality disorders should be considered disorders at all? :hmm:
That's not to say you don't "have anything" Raz... in fact it could be quite the opposite conclusion and maybe your issues are more profound than a 'personality disorder'.
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 01:38:48 PM
Isn't there some controversy going on now within the field of psychiatry about whether personality disorders should be considered disorders at all? :hmm:
That's not to say you don't "have anything" Raz... in fact it could be quite the opposite conclusion and maybe your issues are more profound than a 'personality disorder'.
So you're saying he just needs to listen to his body? :hmm:
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 01:35:27 PM
Quote from: Tamas on April 04, 2011, 01:02:59 PM
Quote from: Valmy on April 04, 2011, 12:35:54 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 12:32:12 PM
Well, I was planning it to be a suicide. People meddle to much.
We love you Raz don't leave us :(
Yeah its not funny Raz, you freaked me out :(
Incidentally Tamas, this is what I have.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder
Someday I'll probably lose all contact with reality.
Funny how the Internet works. If I was handed that list of symptons and being told that one of the people here has this disorder, I would never have guessed it was you.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 04, 2011, 01:36:37 PM
That sounds way more serious than Asparagus Burger. When did you get the new diagnosis?
The asparagus thing was told to me by a temp. I was later told to ignore it. I took a few psych tests two years back and that was what they came up with. There are some co-morbidities but that's the root one I believe.
Quote from: Tamas on April 04, 2011, 01:48:28 PM
Funny how the Internet works. If I was handed that list of symptons and being told that one of the people here has this disorder, I would never have guessed it was you.
Yeah, it's difficult to tell someone's emotional affect through a forum.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 01:48:45 PM
The asparagus thing was told to me by a temp. I was later told to ignore it. I took a few psych tests two years back and that was what they came up with. There are some co-morbidities but that's the root one I believe.
Asperger's was the 'cool' disorder to have for a while. I don't think it's as cool as it used to be though... or at least I don't hear it being brought up as often now.
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 01:38:48 PM
Isn't there some controversy going on now within the field of psychiatry about whether personality disorders should be considered disorders at all? :hmm:
That's not to say you don't "have anything" Raz... in fact it could be quite the opposite conclusion and maybe your issues are more profound than a 'personality disorder'.
I believe you are correct, though if they dispensed with personality disorders I'd just get lumped in with full blow Schizos.
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 01:51:31 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 01:48:45 PM
The asparagus thing was told to me by a temp. I was later told to ignore it. I took a few psych tests two years back and that was what they came up with. There are some co-morbidities but that's the root one I believe.
Asperger's was the 'cool' disorder to have for a while. I don't think it's as cool as it used to be though... or at least I don't hear it being brought up as often now.
Psychologists have fads. Previous ones have included Bi-polar, and ADHD and ADD. It's not a very exact science. It's barely a science at all really.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 04, 2011, 01:51:51 PM
I believe you are correct, though if they dispensed with personality disorders I'd just get lumped in with full blow Schizos.
But see if you are actually schizophrenic, you should definitely be on a specific kind of medication... that's where I was going with that.
On the surface I don't like the idea of personality disorders. Alot of them just correspond to the standard archetypes we are all familiar with (e.g. "narcissistic personality disorder" = that guy is an asshole). Just because someone is different from the norm doesn't mean they have a disorder. Psychologists do everyone, and themsleves, a disservice by trying to pigeonhole all of us.
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 01:55:22 PM
On the surface I don't like the idea of personality disorders. Alot of them just correspond to the standard archetypes we are all familiar with (e.g. "narcissistic personality disorder" = that guy is an asshole). Just because someone is different from the norm doesn't mean they have a disorder. Psychologists do everyone, and themsleves, a disservice by trying to pigeonhole all of us.
Well that's why there is this bit: "a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual,...is associated with present distress...or disability...or with a significant increased risk of suffering"
What I'm saying is that I would suspect in cases where the person's condition is severe enough to have a 'disorder', it must be more than just a personality complex and is an actual psychological condition.
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 01:38:48 PM
Isn't there some controversy going on now within the field of psychiatry about whether personality disorders should be considered disorders at all? :hmm:
That's not to say you don't "have anything" Raz... in fact it could be quite the opposite conclusion and maybe your issues are more profound than a 'personality disorder'.
There is one over whether they can be treated or not, and how much is physical versus mental.
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 02:19:02 PM
What I'm saying is that I would suspect in cases where the person's condition is severe enough to have a 'disorder', it must be more than just a personality complex and is an actual psychological condition.
Not sure I follow. Being listed in the first two axes of the DSM seems like a marker of a psychological condition to me.
I guess are you saying that perhaps there is an underlying mental disorder that isn't being addressed?
I mean schizophrenic vs. "personality tendencies".
edit: Yes, I saw your edit and that is what I am getting at.
Gotcha.
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 01:38:48 PM
Isn't there some controversy going on now within the field of psychiatry about whether personality disorders should be considered disorders at all? :hmm:
Why would they? After all, they don't consider homosexuality a disorder anymore, so why would anything be a disorder?
Quote from: Neil on April 04, 2011, 08:01:07 PM
Quote from: Caliga on April 04, 2011, 01:38:48 PM
Isn't there some controversy going on now within the field of psychiatry about whether personality disorders should be considered disorders at all? :hmm:
Why would they? After all, they don't consider homosexuality a disorder anymore, so why would anything be a disorder?
They do in China! It's called Ego-dystonic something.
Well, my Mom is coming home today. For a week anyway. She said she's going to "Hash everything out". I don't know exactly what that means. I suspect it means she's going to take a bunch of stuff. This will likely be an awkward few days.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 07:17:59 AM
She said she's going to "Hash everything out". I don't know exactly what that means.
She's going to make a bunch of corned beef hash? :mmm:
Well, here we go. Wish me luck.
Good luck!
Say, if you don't have hallucinations, that means you're not schizotypal, right? :ph34r:
Good luck Raz, take it easy. :)
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 07:17:59 AM
She said she's going to "Hash everything out". I don't know exactly what that means. I suspect it means she's going to take a bunch of stuff.
Sorry, but I LOL'd.
Quote from: Ideologue on April 12, 2011, 08:08:10 PMSay, if you don't have hallucinations, that means you're not schizotypal, right? :ph34r:
not a requirement for schizophrenia. my mother, for example, doesn't. likely because she lacks sufficient mental imagery, i think :hmm:
I thought schizophrenics typically hear voices, as opposed to having visual hallucinations. :hmm:
both can occur, or one, or neither, along with the other list of typical symptoms. she doesn't hear voices either, not that i would expect her to--for the same reason
:unsure: So is your mother Helen Keller? :)
Quote from: Ideologue on April 12, 2011, 08:08:10 PM
Good luck!
Say, if you don't have hallucinations, that means you're not schizotypal, right? :ph34r:
Not necessarily. Usually they have 8 criteria and and if you fit 5 of them you get the diagnosis, besides the hallucinations are rare.
Well I talked to her today. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both. Apparently, my dad and I are holding her back. He's sick and I'm crazy, and she's tired of all that. She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics. All at the young age of 55. Seriously. Totally fucking serious. That's what she couldn't tell me over the phone. I have half a mind to call the hospital to get her sent to the loony bin.
For the first time in my life I really hate her. :weep:
Quote from: Caliga on April 12, 2011, 09:40:04 PM
:unsure: So is your mother Helen Keller? :)
:D
what i mean is not the physical senses, but the mental. some people can actually hear a -splash- when they read haiku about frogs jumping in ponds. i don't. some actually see an ocean when they close their eyes during relaxation exercises--i see the inside of my eyelids. she is similar, and since i've never heard her mention foreign voices in her head once (the paranoia limited mostly to strange "logic" and how she -feels- about some-one/thing) i highly doubt she suffers from that
@raz: that really sucks
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 10:22:34 PM
Well I talked to her today. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both. Apparently, my dad and I are holding her back. He's sick and I'm crazy, and she's tired of all that. She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics. All at the young age of 55. Seriously. Totally fucking serious. That's what she couldn't tell me over the phone. I have half a mind to call the hospital to get her sent to the loony bin.
For the first time in my life I really hate her. :weep:
:console:
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 10:22:34 PM
Well I talked to her today. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both. Apparently, my dad and I are holding her back. He's sick and I'm crazy, and she's tired of all that. She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics. All at the young age of 55. Seriously. Totally fucking serious. That's what she couldn't tell me over the phone. I have half a mind to call the hospital to get her sent to the loony bin.
For the first time in my life I really hate her. :weep:
Look on the bright side; this is the day you discovered you're not the craziest one in the family. :console:
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 10:22:34 PM
For the first time in my life I really hate her. :weep:
Don't.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 10:22:34 PM
Well I talked to her today. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both. Apparently, my dad and I are holding her back. He's sick and I'm crazy, and she's tired of all that. She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics. All at the young age of 55. Seriously. Totally fucking serious. That's what she couldn't tell me over the phone. I have half a mind to call the hospital to get her sent to the loony bin.
For the first time in my life I really hate her. :weep:
I suggest that you forget her and think about what you can do for yourself :)
You can't forget your mother, or pretend she's out of your life. She was probably a moral support to Raz, and that seems about to change.
Life sucks man. You just deal with shit as it comes along, and try to find happiness in the little things. Like having a cup of tea and reading a good book, or taking a stroll or whatever. Don't overthink it. Just deal with shit and plow through.
Quote from: LaCroix on April 12, 2011, 10:32:01 PM
Quote from: Caliga on April 12, 2011, 09:40:04 PM
:unsure: So is your mother Helen Keller? :)
:D
what i mean is not the physical senses, but the mental. some people can actually hear a -splash- when they read haiku about frogs jumping in ponds. i don't. some actually see an ocean when they close their eyes during relaxation exercises--i see the inside of my eyelids. she is similar, and since i've never heard her mention foreign voices in her head once (the paranoia limited mostly to strange "logic" and how she -feels- about some-one/thing) i highly doubt she suffers from that
If you specifically recall the sound or image, you can reproduce it though, right? :hmm:
Quote from: Ideologue on April 12, 2011, 11:50:23 PMIf you specifically recall the sound or image, you can reproduce it though, right? :hmm:
fleetingly, yes, and lacking in detail or vividness--as if masked by a see-through black shroud (difficult to explain). when i daydream i see nothing, instead i sort of think abstractly. i do not think in pictures, and mental sound is almost never a factor. mnemonic techniques are also rather pointless for me, from rhyming songs to matteo ricci's memory temple
I have a really hard time envisioning things in my mind, but my thoughts definitely have a soundlike quality to them.
Quote from: Zoupa on April 12, 2011, 11:45:48 PM
You can't forget your mother, or pretend she's out of your life. She was probably a moral support to Raz, and that seems about to change.
Life sucks man. You just deal with shit as it comes along, and try to find happiness in the little things. Like having a cup of tea and reading a good book, or taking a stroll or whatever. Don't overthink it. Just deal with shit and plow through.
:yes:
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 10:22:34 PM
She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics.
You had me at "medical transcription training". :wacko:
This is the first time I have ever heard of "medical transcription". Granted, I know very little about the medical industry. But every time I visit a doctor, I can see that he always updates my medical history himself, either using pen and paper or a computer. I don't understand why there is a need to transcribe voice recordings into written format. Maybe it is different on this side of the Pacific. Maybe the doctors talk to a voice recorder after I leave.
Quote from: Monoriu on April 13, 2011, 05:20:00 AM
This is the first time I have ever heard of "medical transcription". Granted, I know very little about the medical industry. But every time I visit a doctor, I can see that he always updates my medical history himself, either using pen and paper or a computer. I don't understand why there is a need to transcribe voice recordings into written format. Maybe it is different on this side of the Pacific. Maybe the doctors talk to a voice recorder after I leave.
Not surprising; modern technology isn't part of "traditional Chinese medicine". Except when they have to transport endangered species parts packed in dry ice via FedEx.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 10:22:34 PM
She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics. All at the young age of 55. Seriously.
Then she better get her passport and a work visa for India, because that's where all the med transcription business is going.
Quote from: Zoupa on April 12, 2011, 11:45:48 PM
You can't forget your mother, or pretend she's out of your life. She was probably a moral support to Raz, and that seems about to change.
Life sucks man. You just deal with shit as it comes along, and try to find happiness in the little things. Like having a cup of tea and reading a good book, or taking a stroll or whatever. Don't overthink it. Just deal with shit and plow through.
Wise words, from my favourite french speaking person in Canada.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 13, 2011, 06:21:25 AM
Then she better get her passport and a work visa for India, because that's where all the med transcription business is going.
:yes:
For some reasons all the for-profit scam schools like to push medical coding and transcription "programs". I bet Raz's mom is attending one of those. Enjoy your debt and lack of job, lady. :)
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 13, 2011, 06:19:55 AM
This is true. You only get one Mom.
Not much of a mom if she's trying to get away that desperately. Speaking from 2 consecutive generations of experience here- my dad's dad did pretty much the same thing (I don't even know what state he lives in with his new family now), and not too long ago, my dad pulled a similar stunt- neither of them factor greatly into my life, and most of the time, I prefer it that way. The way I see it, with so much "drama" (real or imagined) going on in their lives, it was bound to spill over into mine (and it did in the case of my dad), so now, I actually feel better for having them at arm's length. At the time each bailed, though, it was kinda rough... you just learn to deal to avoid turning into them.
I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.
Raz, your mother has a right to live her life to the fullest, and staying home to take care of two people who will never not need her is hard. It's incredibly, incredibly hard. And yes, it does "hold her back". It means she can't do a lot of the things she wants to do - like move, travel, just breath in her own house without someone wanting/needing something.
For 30 years, I watched my mom go through this. Guilt kept her there taking care of my dad through decades of ill health. He was never not ill, and in fact, was constantly being told that he probably only has five or ten years left... for 30 years. My mom dealt with it. She took care of him. She stayed a job she didn't like for the insurance, and worked well past retirement age in order to keep the insurance. She rarely traveled, and when she did it was a huge ordeal. (She had to find someone to check on Dad, she had to make sure he knew where she was at all times, and the entire time she was gone he was calling to tell her all about what was wrong with him and why her being gone was bad for him.) She never had sex, was never romanced, was never taken out dancing. Her life revolved around taking care of my dad. When he finally died, the world opened up for my mom, but by then it was too late. She didn't know what to do with it. She was 65 years old, lonely, and alone.
It's been four years now, and Mom is finally dating. She refuses to have much to do with any man who won't go out and do stuff. She's finally figured out what life can be and is doing her best to live it. Unfortunately for her, she's broke because she spent her life paying for my dad's illness, but she's figuring things out anyway. Of course, now she's 69 and with a little luck she may get one decade of her life to live just for her. Can you imagine? One decade out of eight where she gets to be her own person, doing what she wants, when she wants, with whom she wants... And what happens? My sister decides to move back to Iowa with her kids in tow so she can be there for Mom (translated: Free Babysitting).
So yeah... your mom's kids are grown. She's 55 years old, and she wants to live her life for her. Maybe it's selfish, but since it seems no one else is looking out for her or trying to figure out how to make life better for her, she has no choice but to be a little selfish. I'm sorry you're hurting, but deal with it. She has a right to a life, too.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 08:46:28 AM
I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.
Not by me.
I was sort of thinking the same, really.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 08:46:28 AM
I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.
Raz, your mother has a right to live her life to the fullest, and staying home to take care of two people who will never not need her is hard. It's incredibly, incredibly hard. And yes, it does "hold her back". It means she can't do a lot of the things she wants to do - like move, travel, just breath in her own house without someone wanting/needing something.
If her leaving were not likely to cause her ex and her son to lose their home and the fact that she stole $500.00 from her ex I could get on board with this. Stealing and causing hardship to those you care about because they are cramping your style is not particularly admirable no matter what sort of dreams you are chasing.
Of course Raz could be lying about that for some reason.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 08:54:02 AM
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 08:46:28 AM
I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.
Not by me.
I was sort of thinking the same, really.
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
Still the solution is not the continuance of the status quo.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 09:49:35 AM
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part. It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal? Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household. :hmm:
Quote from: Pitiful Pathos on April 04, 2011, 09:39:43 AM
It is irresponsible and hurtful for someone to just up and leave their family with little or no explanation. Certainly not nearly *as* irresponsible and hurtful as if her kids were not grown, but irresponsible and hurtful nonetheless.
I have a feeling we are not getting the full picture. Has she voiced her concerns/misgivings about the situation before? Was she ever listened to/did her husband and adult son discuss it with her or has she always been taken for granted?
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 10:04:06 AM
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 09:49:35 AM
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part. It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal? Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household. :hmm:
Yeah, my thoughts exactly. And even if she isn't working and that's Mr. Raz who is bringing the money, unless they both have separate accounts into which the money gets split evenly and then she makes away with the money put specifically into his account, I don't see how this is "stealing" in any manner.
Frankly, from Raz's attitude I'm beginning to see why she chose to do what she did more clearly.
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 10:04:06 AM
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 09:49:35 AM
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part. It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal? Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household. :hmm:
Raz said he has a bank account (that his mom took $500.00 from) and she wants to file taxes separately now. If he is filing taxes and has a bank account that suggests he works. Where did Raz say he did not?
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 09:49:35 AM
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
I missed the part about the money stolen - where is that?
The issue here is that she seemingly feels trapped into basically caring for two
adults on a more or less permanent basis. Not everyone can do that, selflessly, with no expectation of the possibility of some sort of reciprocal payback eventually.
I find it hard to judge someone harshly for not being up to that burden. A life of dedication to the needs of others isn't for everyone.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 09:49:35 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 08:54:02 AM
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 08:46:28 AM
I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.
Not by me.
I was sort of thinking the same, really.
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 10:06:40 AM
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 10:04:06 AM
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 09:49:35 AM
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part. It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal? Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household. :hmm:
Raz said he has a bank account (that his mom took $500.00 from) and she wants to file taxes separately now. If he is filing taxes and has a bank account that suggests he works. Where did Raz say he did not?
Somehow she got access to that money, so unless it was by fraud, she was authorized to access the account. And the presumption for any money held by married people is that it is held jointly with a spouse, unless there is a clear reason to believe otherwise (e.g. inheritance by one of them).
Quote from: Martinus on April 13, 2011, 10:07:22 AM
You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?
So?
Suddenly draining the bank account (or even just draining 50% of it) and running isn't right.
Quote from: Barrister on April 13, 2011, 10:09:49 AM
Quote from: Martinus on April 13, 2011, 10:07:22 AM
You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?
So?
Suddenly draining the bank account (or even just draining 50% of it) and running isn't right.
It may be reckless and irresponsible (but I would reserve my judgement until I know the full picture, and I have a feeling Raz is not telling us the whole story), but my point was that it isn't theft.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:07:15 AM
I missed the part about the money stolen - where is that?
The issue here is that she seemingly feels trapped into basically caring for two adults on a more or less permanent basis. Not everyone can do that, selflessly, with no expectation of the possibility of some sort of reciprocal payback eventually.
I find it hard to judge someone harshly for not being up to that burden. A life of dedication to the needs of others isn't for everyone.
Quote from: RazIt doesn't help that she just swiped 500 bucks from my dad's account, and now wants to file separate tax returns. That'll cost us an additional 1,800. She may very well cause us to lose our house
I am not judging her for her desire to do something for herself what I disapprove of are actions, granted as represented by Raz, she has taken to do so. There is such a thing as doing things the right way and doing things the wrong way.
Quote from: Martinus on April 13, 2011, 10:11:51 AM
It may be reckless and irresponsible (but I would reserve my judgement until I know the full picture, and I have a feeling Raz is not telling us the whole story), but my point was that it isn't theft.
Not in the legal sense no. Notice I did not tell Raz to call the cops.
It may indeed be reckless and irresponsible and yes it does depend on Raz's version being the truth of the matter. But if his version is accurate I have a hard time being too sympathetic to his mother.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 10:12:35 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:07:15 AM
I missed the part about the money stolen - where is that?
The issue here is that she seemingly feels trapped into basically caring for two adults on a more or less permanent basis. Not everyone can do that, selflessly, with no expectation of the possibility of some sort of reciprocal payback eventually.
I find it hard to judge someone harshly for not being up to that burden. A life of dedication to the needs of others isn't for everyone.
Quote from: RazIt doesn't help that she just swiped 500 bucks from my dad's account, and now wants to file separate tax returns. That'll cost us an additional 1,800. She may very well cause us to lose our house
I am not judging her for her desire to do something for herself what I disapprove of are actions, granted as represented by Raz, she has taken to do so. There is such a thing as doing things the right way and doing things the wrong way.
If she is moving out, taking some money from a mutual accout (I don't see how she'd have access to it if it was *not* a mutual account) is hardly unreasonable.
She took $500, which is hardly enough to rent a room for a month.
A married person taking money from a mutual account is not 'stealing'.
I feel sorry for the mom. Even if she did go nuts, she went nuts for understanble reasons.
Quote from: Barrister on April 13, 2011, 10:09:49 AM
Quote from: Martinus on April 13, 2011, 10:07:22 AM
You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?
So?
Suddenly draining the bank account (or even just draining 50% of it) and running isn't right.
She's hardly making out like Ma Barker. She took $500. Assuming it is a mutual account, how is she expected to move out without any money?
Quote from: Martinus on April 13, 2011, 10:07:22 AM
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 09:49:35 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 08:54:02 AM
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 08:46:28 AM
I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.
Not by me.
I was sort of thinking the same, really.
So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on? Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part. It hits too close to home.
You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?
If my wife left, she'd be taking a lot more than $500 with her, that's for damn sure. :lol:
In a divorce, I'd get gored without any doubt.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:26:08 AM
If she is moving out, taking some money from a mutual accout (I don't see how she'd have access to it if it was *not* a mutual account) is hardly unreasonable.
She took $500, which is hardly enough to rent a room for a month.
A married person taking money from a mutual account is not 'stealing'.
He said 'My dad's account'
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:33:10 AM
In a divorce, I'd get gored without any doubt.
Post-Nup :contract:. If she really loved you she'd sign it... or at east that's what you'd use your evil lawyer powers to convince her to believe :P
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 10:38:31 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:26:08 AM
If she is moving out, taking some money from a mutual accout (I don't see how she'd have access to it if it was *not* a mutual account) is hardly unreasonable.
She took $500, which is hardly enough to rent a room for a month.
A married person taking money from a mutual account is not 'stealing'.
He said 'My dad's account'
I assume that Raz is not up on the exact legal banking designation of the account in issue. ;)
\Most married folks have at least some mutual accounts, and it isn't possible, without actual fraud, for Raz's mom to take money from an account that is
not mutual - ergo, the more likely explaination is that it was a mutual account (perhaps one that Raz's Dad put the money into).
Quote from: HVC on April 13, 2011, 10:38:34 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:33:10 AM
In a divorce, I'd get gored without any doubt.
Post-Nup :contract:. If she really loved you she'd sign it... or at east that's what you'd use your evil lawyer powers to convince her to believe :P
She would answer with a facial expression, not in words, to any such approach. I'll leave it to your imagination which one.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:42:50 AM
She would answer with a facial expression, not in words, to any such approach. I'll leave it to your imagination which one.
:perv: ?
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 10:43:53 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:42:50 AM
She would answer with a facial expression, not in words, to any such approach. I'll leave it to your imagination which one.
:perv: ?
Not
your imagination. :P
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:41:23 AM
I assume that Raz is not up on the exact legal banking designation of the account in issue. ;)
\Most married folks have at least some mutual accounts, and it isn't possible, without actual fraud, for Raz's mom to take money from an account that is not mutual - ergo, the more likely explaination is that it was a mutual account (perhaps one that Raz's Dad put the money into).
So Raz misrepresented the situation? Again I can only go by what he said. If she did not, in fact, take $500.00 from his dad's account (and most couples know how to get into their SOs bank account, I know all of my wife's passwords and so forth), I retract my statement. But since he specifically said she did I can only go by that.
Even if it was a mutual account Raz seemed to make it clear this was a big breach of trust.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:42:50 AM
She would answer with a facial expression, not in words, to any such approach. I'll leave it to your imagination which one.
Have i over estimated your evil lawyer powers? :(
Quote from: HVC on April 13, 2011, 10:48:27 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:42:50 AM
She would answer with a facial expression, not in words, to any such approach. I'll leave it to your imagination which one.
Have i over estimated your evil lawyer powers? :(
Or have you underestimated his wife's evil wifely powers? :contract:
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 10:47:56 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:41:23 AM
I assume that Raz is not up on the exact legal banking designation of the account in issue. ;)
\Most married folks have at least some mutual accounts, and it isn't possible, without actual fraud, for Raz's mom to take money from an account that is not mutual - ergo, the more likely explaination is that it was a mutual account (perhaps one that Raz's Dad put the money into).
So Raz misrepresented the situation? Again I can only go by what he said. If she did not, in fact, take $500.00 from his dad's account (and most couples know how to get into their SOs bank account, I know all of my wife's passwords and so forth), I retract my statement. But since he specifically said she did I can only go by that.
Well, it isn't exactly a misrepresentation. For example, I have a chequing account where my pay is deposited automatically. My wife has authority over this account as well, but she never uses it, it is just there for emergencies - legally it's a "mutual account" but since it is my pay and only I use it on a daily basis, i'd certainly think of it as "my account".
I'd be pretty surprised and unhappy if she suddenly without telling me took money from that account, but she has every legal right to do it.
If she was to take a few thousand from the account (for her, $500 is pocket change) and leave, that would be pretty upsetting ... but hardly a question of "stealing", since in any divorce she'd be entitled to far, far more than that. Moreover, one can't really leave without some money.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:54:26 AM
Well, it isn't exactly a misrepresentation. For example, I have a chequing account where my pay is deposited automatically. My wife has authority over this account as well, but she never uses it, it is just there for emergencies - legally it's a "mutual account" but since it is my pay and only I use it on a daily basis, i'd certainly think of it as "my account".
:yes: Same here.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:54:26 AM
I'd be pretty surprised and unhappy if she suddenly without telling me took money from that account, but she has every legal right to do it.
I am sorry just because you have a legal right to do something does not make it right or admirable. I was not talking about theft as a legal term. I am talking about taking somebody elses things without their permission in a normal everyday sense. I am talking about a breach of trust and taking actions that will harm others. I do not give two shits about what is legal here. This is about relationships not the courtroom.
This brings me to this question.
What does filling seperately means in the US?
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:54:26 AM
If she was to take a few thousand from the account (for her, $500 is pocket change) and leave, that would be pretty upsetting
Thank you.
Quote from: Grey Fox on April 13, 2011, 11:00:36 AM
This brings me to this question.
What does filling seperately means in the US?
You can file jointly as a married couple and that effects your taxes in various ways. How exactly is probably unnecessarily complex and convoluted, this being US tax law and all.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 10:59:09 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:54:26 AM
I'd be pretty surprised and unhappy if she suddenly without telling me took money from that account, but she has every legal right to do it.
I am sorry just because you have a legal right to do something does not make it right or admirable. I was not talking about theft as a legal term. I am talking about taking somebody elses things without their permission in a normal everyday sense. I am talking about a breach of trust and taking actions that will harm others. I do not give two shits about what is legal here. This is about relationships not the courtroom.
Certainly - but here the relationship in question here is that of long-married spouses. She is entitled to some of their property - both by law and in the ordinary, everyday "relationship" sense. The money dad has is not only dad's, it is, at least to an extent and within reason, hers as well.
Now, if she cleaned them out and took off with *all* of the family money, that's obviously a different story. Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.
I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.
Quote from: Grey Fox on April 13, 2011, 11:00:36 AM
This brings me to this question.
What does filling seperately means in the US?
It means the couple are married, but each is filing their own tax return, instead of filing one joint return with both spouses signing. I'm not sure whether there's a difference in tax rates between MFJ and MFS, but at the very least, you've got the additional cost of filing another return if you use someone to prepare it.
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 05:06:43 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 12, 2011, 10:22:34 PM
She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics.
You had me at "medical transcription training". :wacko:
Oh, I was wrong. It's called Medical billing and coding.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 11:07:24 AM
Certainly - but here the relationship in question here is that of long-married spouses. She is entitled to some of their property - both by law and in the ordinary, everyday "relationship" sense. The money dad has is not only dad's, it is, at least to an extent and within reason, hers as well.
Now, if she cleaned them out and took off with *all* of the family money, that's obviously a different story. Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.
I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.
You're assuming the account is worth much more than that. Considering the Razes are freaked about having to file separate returns being expensive, that may very well not be the case. Even less likely, when you consider both Raz and his dad having medical conditions.
As I have said, I disagree with HOW she's handled things, but certainly not why. Not knowing the financial picture, all I can say is that while her leaving is going to cause serious financial repercussions, one certainly understand what she's done. That being said, I doubt Raz will ever understand.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 11:07:24 AM
Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.
I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.
But Malthus she 'just swiped' it. So if after a few decades I can just take my wife's things without her permission and leave? I am entitled to that? Isn't she entitled to anything?
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 11:13:48 AM
As I have said, I disagree with HOW she's handled things, but certainly not why. Not knowing the financial picture, all I can say is that while her leaving is going to cause serious financial repercussions, one certainly understand what she's done. That being said, I doubt Raz will ever understand.
Some thoughts are better left unsaid Meri.
It's not his!, it's theirs!
That's Malthus entire point.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 11:13:48 AM
As I have said, I disagree with HOW she's handled things, but certainly not why.
Sure. I bet if she had sat down and discussed this in a responsible way with her Hubby and Raz they could have worked it out in a respectful way that did not cause harm to either party. The fact she did not do that is very unfortunate.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 10:47:56 AM
So Raz misrepresented the situation? Again I can only go by what he said. If she did not, in fact, take $500.00 from his dad's account (and most couples know how to get into their SOs bank account, I know all of my wife's passwords and so forth), I retract my statement. But since he specifically said she did I can only go by that.
Even if it was a mutual account Raz seemed to make it clear this was a big breach of trust.
It is impossible to know the situation based on what has been presented. Why is it so important to you that you be able to judge Raz's? Let it go, FFS.
Quote from: grumbler on April 13, 2011, 11:25:43 AM
It is impossible to know the situation based on what has been presented. Why is it so important to you that you be able to assign blame? Let it go, FFS.
What was important was trying to communicate what I was trying to say, which I have a hard time doing, not trying to assign blame. Meri seems to understand what I was getting at so I guess I was successful. Anyway I was done.
Just to make clear my dad does in fact have a job. Her reasoning is that she wants to be a politician in Illinois and she doesn't think she can be one in Missouri (she had a short political career here, but lost her last election). So she decided to run off to follow those dreams. She does seem genuinely baffled that her children are mad at her about this, though. It hasn't occurred to her that inflicting harm on them by destroying the family so she can take a shot at her crazy ass ambitions might engender some resentment.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 11:20:23 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 11:07:24 AM
Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.
I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.
But Malthus she 'just swiped' it. So if after a few decades I can just take my wife's things without her permission and leave? I am entitled to that? Isn't she entitled to anything?
Well, money is fungible - it isn't entirely "his".
The point that she ought not to up and leave without talking things over first is a good one - I can certainly understand why one would not want to do that, but the more mature and respectful way to deal with it is to talk it out first.
However, that decision being made, taking the cash isn't the issue at all - leaving without discussing the matter first is.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 11:31:06 AM
However, that decision being made, taking the cash isn't the issue at all - leaving without discussing the matter first is.
Bingo. That is what I was trying to say. It is the apparent breach of trust that was the issue for me. The money was just the manifestation.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 11:27:41 AM
Quote from: grumbler on April 13, 2011, 11:25:43 AM
It is impossible to know the situation based on what has been presented. Why is it so important to you that you be able to assign blame? Let it go, FFS.
What was important was trying to communicate what I was trying to say, which I have a hard time doing, not trying to assign blame. Meri seems to understand what I was getting at so I guess I was successful. Anyway I was done.
So your statement that
QuoteI bet if she had sat down and discussed this in a responsible way with her Hubby and Raz they could have worked it out in a respectful way that did not cause harm to either party. The fact she did not do that is very unfortunate.
is not assigning blame or judging her? Sure seems like it to me.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 11:13:48 AM
As I have said, I disagree with HOW she's handled things, but certainly not why. Not knowing the financial picture, all I can say is that while her leaving is going to cause serious financial repercussions, one certainly understand what she's done. That being said, I doubt Raz will ever understand.
Oh, I understand. I simply have a difference in opinion. I'm not of the opinion that familial bonds should be broken simply because it's inconvenient.
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 11:31:56 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 11:31:06 AM
However, that decision being made, taking the cash isn't the issue at all - leaving without discussing the matter first is.
Bingo. That is what I was trying to say. It is the apparent breach of trust that was the issue for me. The money was just the manifestation.
Well, I was simply stating that arguing about the money is missing the point. The situation would be no different in my mind if she'd taken off without a dime.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 11:32:59 AM
Oh, I understand. I simply have a difference in opinion. I'm not of the opinion that familial bonds should be broken simply because it's inconvenient.
She left her husband, not her children. Mom moving away doesn't end the relationship with her adult children anymore than the adult children moving away does. It simply changes the dynamics.
And as a woman who's left her husband, I can tell you that there's more to her leaving your dad than it was just "inconvenient".
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 11:27:54 AMHer reasoning is that she wants to be a politician in Illinois and she doesn't think she can be one in Missouri (she had a short political career here, but lost her last election).
What about Illinois politics is special and unique? Also, how does medical billing and coding lead to a career in politics? Also, where does 'union' fit into all of this?
Should I even be asking these questions? It seems like there's no way they will have logical connections to one another...
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 11:35:18 AM
Well, I was simply stating that arguing about the money is missing the point. The situation would be no different in my mind if she'd taken off without a dime.
It's very easy to think logically and maturely about a situation like this when you're not in it. However, when suffering from depression, guilt, and a variety of other concerns while trying to extricate oneself from a relationship, it's not as easy. Sometimes a person has to just act in order to get it done, and then worry about the aftermath.
I feel sorry for everyone in this situation. A broken marriage, no matter the age of the children, is not easy to deal with, and ultimately, everyone is going to be hurt, angry, upset, and scared about the future. Yes, even the one who left to follow her dream. (And I'm sorry, but you're never too old to dream, Raz.)
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 11:40:25 AM
What about Illinois politics is special and unique?
Even I know the answer to this one... :pirate
Quote from: grumbler on April 13, 2011, 11:32:43 AM
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 11:27:41 AM
Quote from: grumbler on April 13, 2011, 11:25:43 AM
It is impossible to know the situation based on what has been presented. Why is it so important to you that you be able to assign blame? Let it go, FFS.
What was important was trying to communicate what I was trying to say, which I have a hard time doing, not trying to assign blame. Meri seems to understand what I was getting at so I guess I was successful. Anyway I was done.
So your statement thatQuoteI bet if she had sat down and discussed this in a responsible way with her Hubby and Raz they could have worked it out in a respectful way that did not cause harm to either party. The fact she did not do that is very unfortunate.
is not assigning blame or judging her? Sure seems like it to me.
Um I said assigning the blame was not important (after all that was what you asked me) not that I did not think some of her actions, as presented, were wrong. Why I was in this conversation for so long was trying to explain why I thought so and being frustrated I seemed to be doing so poorly.
Quote from: Barrister on April 13, 2011, 11:43:46 AM
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 11:40:25 AM
What about Illinois politics is special and unique?
Even I know the answer to this one... :pirate
I believe the fee to enter Illinois politics is more than $500. :contract:
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 11:40:25 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 11:27:54 AMHer reasoning is that she wants to be a politician in Illinois and she doesn't think she can be one in Missouri (she had a short political career here, but lost her last election).
What about Illinois politics is special and unique? Also, how does medical billing and coding lead to a career in politics? Also, where does 'union' fit into all of this?
Should I even be asking these questions? It seems like there's no way they will have logical connections to one another...
She perceives Illinois as a bastion of liberal enlightenment, where apparently she'll quickly get a Union job and through that become an elected official again.
At least you know where where the crazy in my family comes from.
Ironically, whiles she's been in Illinois she's been caring for her friend who is very ill (she had one of those surgeries where they remove a great deal of her stomach to control her weight, and there's been complications. Incidentally my mother was really keen on trying to get the procedure herself, but I talked her out of it because there were strong chances of complications). She's also been caring her friend's senile mother as well. Which is much more then she was doing her with us, where she didn't really do much for my father or me.
Quote from: DGuller on April 13, 2011, 11:47:14 AM
I believe the fee to enter Illinois politics is more than $500. :contract:
I was about to make more or less the same joke in response to the Beeb. :(
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 11:43:08 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 11:35:18 AM
Well, I was simply stating that arguing about the money is missing the point. The situation would be no different in my mind if she'd taken off without a dime.
It's very easy to think logically and maturely about a situation like this when you're not in it. However, when suffering from depression, guilt, and a variety of other concerns while trying to extricate oneself from a relationship, it's not as easy. Sometimes a person has to just act in order to get it done, and then worry about the aftermath.
I feel sorry for everyone in this situation. A broken marriage, no matter the age of the children, is not easy to deal with, and ultimately, everyone is going to be hurt, angry, upset, and scared about the future. Yes, even the one who left to follow her dream. (And I'm sorry, but you're never too old to dream, Raz.)
Certainly. Leaving without discussing it isn't optimal, but I'm hardly going to be harsh in my judgment of this - as I said, I can certainly understand why one would not want an undoubtedly painful confrontation.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 11:38:52 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 11:32:59 AM
Oh, I understand. I simply have a difference in opinion. I'm not of the opinion that familial bonds should be broken simply because it's inconvenient.
She left her husband, not her children. Mom moving away doesn't end the relationship with her adult children anymore than the adult children moving away does. It simply changes the dynamics.
And as a woman who's left her husband, I can tell you that there's more to her leaving your dad than it was just "inconvenient".
In theory, yes. In practice, some people take offense in intentionally causing emotional stress in loved ones for personal gain.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 11:50:11 AM
She perceives Illinois as a bastion of liberal enlightenment, where apparently she'll quickly get a Union job and through that become an elected official again.
:lol: Medical billers, like transcriptionists, often work from home for very low wages, and I'd be surprised if they are organized. Then again, much of that work is going to India so maybe they ARE organized, and that's why the work is being outsourced overseas.
Only dinosaur doctors use transcription services anymore. It's a buggywhip industry.
It's not like she's had a good employment record. Her last two jobs she was fired from because as she said "everyone else was jealous because she was so smart", She also became a real estate agent (which also require very expensive schooling and testing, something my dad paid for), which she bombed at. Didn't sell a single house. And this was back in the late 1990's when there was a real estate boom.
I'm starting to think that MommyRaz is just bored.
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 11:53:01 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 11:50:11 AM
She perceives Illinois as a bastion of liberal enlightenment, where apparently she'll quickly get a Union job and through that become an elected official again.
:lol: Medical billers, like transcriptionists, often work from home for very low wages, and I'd be surprised if they are organized. Then again, much of that work is going to India so maybe they ARE organized, and that's why the work is being outsourced overseas.
Not necessarily. There are plenty of drones needed to run those EMR systems because doctors for some reason can't wrap their heads around them. Just look at the NHS's epic failure to modernize in IT. The docs just couldn't hack it. I've also noticed that doctors in general, while usually extremely bright people, become retards when behind the wheel.
Ouch. While Raz may not be handling this supremely well, I'm starting to wonder which is the bigger spoiled brat. No offense, Raz. :hug:
Yeah well, had she handled this better she would still be in the right to make her own way in the world. She is just being a jerk about it.
Oh, nobody is denying the right.
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 11:53:01 AM
:lol: Medical billers, like transcriptionists, often work from home for very low wages, and I'd be surprised if they are organized. Then again, much of that work is going to India so maybe they ARE organized, and that's why the work is being outsourced overseas.
India? Can they do that and stay HIPAA-compliant?
Why wouldn't they be able to, as long as they follow HIPAA regulations? Even if you're not subject to HIPAA in your local area you could abide by the regulations if your client required it.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 11:43:08 AM
(And I'm sorry, but you're never too old to dream, Raz.)
Yes, but you can very easily be old enough to know better.
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 12:18:54 PM
Why wouldn't they be able to, as long as they follow HIPAA regulations? Even if you're not subject to HIPAA in your local area you could abide by the regulations if your client required it.
Well India has poor privacy protection laws so it would be difficult to protect confidential medical data. I thought this was one of the big reasons fields associated with medicine are gradually becoming the best jobs around: because they are risky to outsource. But there is big money to be saved here so I guess people will find a way.
On, the plus side, this has made me more conservative. At this rate I'll support Gov Walker's crackdown on unions soon.
I sometimes confuse HIPAA with FERPA because in the past I had to deal with FERPA as well, but IIRC there has never been a successful prosecution due to a HIPAA violation, or at least there hadn't been as of a few years back.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 12:34:14 PM
On, the plus side, this has made me more conservative.
That's not a plus. Moderate Raz would presumably be less colorful on the forum than MoveOn Raz. :hmm:
I've always been fairly moderate.
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 12:35:31 PM
I sometimes confuse HIPAA with FERPA because in the past I had to deal with FERPA as well, but IIRC there has never been a successful prosecution due to a HIPAA violation, or at least there hadn't been as of a few years back.
That is changing. Maybe not prosecution but grants have been withdrawn, and the feds have demanded that grant money given on projects that violated HIPAA regulations be paid back.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 12:34:14 PM
On, the plus side, this has made me more conservative. At this rate I'll support Gov Walker's crackdown on unions soon.
Well, that's how it always works. People pretend to be one party or the other because they subscribe to that party's lofty ideals, but really they just support the party that promises to do the most shit in their best interest. Notable exception: many Teabaggers. :wacko:
Quote from: Valmy on April 13, 2011, 12:33:28 PM
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 12:18:54 PM
Why wouldn't they be able to, as long as they follow HIPAA regulations? Even if you're not subject to HIPAA in your local area you could abide by the regulations if your client required it.
Well India has poor privacy protection laws so it would be difficult to protect confidential medical data. I thought this was one of the big reasons fields associated with medicine are gradually becoming the best jobs around: because they are risky to outsource. But there is big money to be saved here so I guess people will find a way.
Yeah. Dunno about the US, but at least in Europe, you can't transfer personal data to countries that do not offer the same personal data protection that the EU. For this reason, you cannot actually outsource some data collection/processing to the US.
Here, there is all sorts of nonsense stirred up by overblown fears about the Patriot Act enabling the US gov't to get its mitts on that info. In at least two provinces, if the info is held by a public institution, you need express informed consent from the person to transfer it to the US - which causes all sorts of silly problems (remembering that hospitals and universities are generally public institutions).
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 02:16:56 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 12:34:14 PM
On, the plus side, this has made me more conservative. At this rate I'll support Gov Walker's crackdown on unions soon.
Well, that's how it always works. People pretend to be one party or the other because they subscribe to that party's lofty ideals, but really they just support the party that promises to do the most shit in their best interest. Notable exception: many Teabaggers. :wacko:
Why would one agree with lofty ideals against one's best interests? :x
Quote from: garbon on April 13, 2011, 04:02:06 PM
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 02:16:56 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 12:34:14 PM
On, the plus side, this has made me more conservative. At this rate I'll support Gov Walker's crackdown on unions soon.
Well, that's how it always works. People pretend to be one party or the other because they subscribe to that party's lofty ideals, but really they just support the party that promises to do the most shit in their best interest. Notable exception: many Teabaggers. :wacko:
Why would one agree with lofty ideals against one's best interests? :x
Indeed. I never understand the "accusation" of someone voting for a politician that promises to do most for the voter. :|
I think the problem is that many voters and politicians are only thinking about what's in their short-term interests.
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:44:59 AM
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 10:43:53 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:42:50 AM
She would answer with a facial expression, not in words, to any such approach. I'll leave it to your imagination which one.
:perv: ?
Not your imagination. :P
How about
my imagination? :mmm:
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 13, 2011, 12:01:29 PM
Only dinosaur doctors use transcription services anymore. It's a buggywhip industry.
Might as well open a video rental store also.
Quote from: Ideologue on April 13, 2011, 04:14:41 PM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:44:59 AM
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 10:43:53 AM
Quote from: Malthus on April 13, 2011, 10:42:50 AM
She would answer with a facial expression, not in words, to any such approach. I'll leave it to your imagination which one.
:perv: ?
Not your imagination. :P
How about my imagination? :mmm:
Even worse! :D
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 08:46:28 AM
I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.
Raz, your mother has a right to live her life to the fullest, and staying home to take care of two people who will never not need her is hard. It's incredibly, incredibly hard. And yes, it does "hold her back". It means she can't do a lot of the things she wants to do - like move, travel, just breath in her own house without someone wanting/needing something.
For 30 years, I watched my mom go through this. Guilt kept her there taking care of my dad through decades of ill health. He was never not ill, and in fact, was constantly being told that he probably only has five or ten years left... for 30 years. My mom dealt with it. She took care of him. She stayed a job she didn't like for the insurance, and worked well past retirement age in order to keep the insurance. She rarely traveled, and when she did it was a huge ordeal. (She had to find someone to check on Dad, she had to make sure he knew where she was at all times, and the entire time she was gone he was calling to tell her all about what was wrong with him and why her being gone was bad for him.) She never had sex, was never romanced, was never taken out dancing. Her life revolved around taking care of my dad. When he finally died, the world opened up for my mom, but by then it was too late. She didn't know what to do with it. She was 65 years old, lonely, and alone.
It's been four years now, and Mom is finally dating. She refuses to have much to do with any man who won't go out and do stuff. She's finally figured out what life can be and is doing her best to live it. Unfortunately for her, she's broke because she spent her life paying for my dad's illness, but she's figuring things out anyway. Of course, now she's 69 and with a little luck she may get one decade of her life to live just for her. Can you imagine? One decade out of eight where she gets to be her own person, doing what she wants, when she wants, with whom she wants... And what happens? My sister decides to move back to Iowa with her kids in tow so she can be there for Mom (translated: Free Babysitting).
So yeah... your mom's kids are grown. She's 55 years old, and she wants to live her life for her. Maybe it's selfish, but since it seems no one else is looking out for her or trying to figure out how to make life better for her, she has no choice but to be a little selfish. I'm sorry you're hurting, but deal with it. She has a right to a life, too.
Merithyn: Defender of the PsychoSoccerMom
Quote from: Caliga on April 13, 2011, 11:50:24 AM
Quote from: DGuller on April 13, 2011, 11:47:14 AM
I believe the fee to enter Illinois politics is more than $500. :contract:
I was about to make more or less the same joke in response to the Beeb. :(
Ouch. :(
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 13, 2011, 05:24:10 PM
Merithyn: Defender of the PsychoSoccerMom
Right? Raz's mom has seemed to take the childish route on every part of this path of "self-discovery and enlightenment" and Meri still defends her. Running away...wtf?!
Quote from: garbon on April 13, 2011, 08:36:10 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 13, 2011, 05:24:10 PM
Merithyn: Defender of the PsychoSoccerMom
Right? Raz's mom has seemed to take the childish route on every part of this path of "self-discovery and enlightenment" and Meri still defends her. Running away...wtf?!
She deserves some slack. Now, if she killed Raz Sr. and Raz Jr., and cut them up into pieces, then it starts getting borderline.
Quote from: garbon on April 13, 2011, 08:36:10 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 13, 2011, 05:24:10 PM
Merithyn: Defender of the PsychoSoccerMom
Right? Raz's mom has seemed to take the childish route on every part of this path of "self-discovery and enlightenment" and Meri still defends her. Running away...wtf?!
If that's what you've been reading, then your reading comprehension is failing you. What I've "defended" is the right to leave the situation. What I have NOT defended is the way Raz's mom is handling this. Nonetheless, I understand how badly depression can affect a person's ability to function sanely and am therefore willing to give her a little slack on that.
Surely it hurts no one to be understanding of people going through a difficult time.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 09:23:05 PM
If that's what you've been reading, then your reading comprehension is failing you. What I've "defended" is the right to leave the situation. What I have NOT defended is the way Raz's mom is handling this. Nonetheless, I understand how badly depression can affect a person's ability to function sanely and am therefore willing to give her a little slack on that.
Surely it hurts no one to be understanding of people going through a difficult time.
I'd like to think that I can understand how major depressive disorder can affect a person as well. If said person is unwilling to be understanding of how their actions will affect those around them, I don't really see why they should be afforded such understanding. Selfish behavior is selfish regardless of mitigating circumstances and disabilities.
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 11:38:52 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 13, 2011, 11:32:59 AM
Oh, I understand. I simply have a difference in opinion. I'm not of the opinion that familial bonds should be broken simply because it's inconvenient.
She left her husband, not her children. Mom moving away doesn't end the relationship with her adult children anymore than the adult children moving away does. It simply changes the dynamics.
I think it's well established that Raz is not an adult child. He has needs.
QuoteAnd as a woman who's left her husband, I can tell you that there's more to her leaving your dad than it was just "inconvenient".
And yet you managed to yank up your kids at a moment's notice and make them follow your dreams to another state, so let's not, mmmkay?
Quote from: merithyn on April 13, 2011, 09:23:05 PM
Surely it hurts no one to be understanding of people going through a difficult time.
Balancing everything, it seems like mental acrobatics that Raz and Raz, Sr. don't need to be piling on top of themselves. Are you also going to cram an explanation of kleptomania down the throat of everyone who's burgled by one?
I was told I'm in the schizotypal personality too, Raz. :hug:
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on April 14, 2011, 01:08:18 AM
I was told I'm in the schizotypal personality too, Raz. :hug:
But were you told that by one of your multiple personalities? :P
I find it amusing that everyone is willing to take sides and pick up the pitchforks based on the one-sided account given by someone who is a self-confessed mental patient.
I'd say this is a waste of lifespan that makes reading a Turtledove novel positively rational by comparison.
Express sympathy for Raz? By all means, that's proper no matter what the circumstances. Judge the mom? That's nuttier than Raz.
Yes.
Quote from: grumbler on April 14, 2011, 06:36:41 AM
Judge the mom? That's nuttier than Raz.
I'd rather judge Meri. :smarty:
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 14, 2011, 07:01:13 AM
Quote from: grumbler on April 14, 2011, 06:36:41 AM
Judge the mom? That's nuttier than Raz.
I'd rather judge Meri. :smarty:
Yes. Plus she makes her own laundry detergent. What a weirdo.
Any news?
Quote from: Queequeg on April 15, 2011, 07:58:45 PM
Any news?
I think she's moving to close to where you are. Mattoon. My dad still thinks she has a boyfriend. Maybe she does, who knows. I'm not keen on talking to her right now. I expect the Divorce papers to come soon. Dad said that my mom wants a "no fault" divorce, which tells me that she believes it's her fault. In fact, her talk with my dad was quite amiable, and why not? She's not getting a divorce because of some sort of grievance, she merely wants a political office and somehow sees this as a road to that.
In better news, my sister is getting married next month.
I don't think I would vote for your mom. :P
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 15, 2011, 08:17:41 PM
I don't think I would vote for your mom. :P
She's much more liberal then I am, but then so is my Dad. I'm actually the conservative one in the group.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 15, 2011, 08:20:34 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 15, 2011, 08:17:41 PM
I don't think I would vote for your mom. :P
She's much more liberal then I am, but then so is my Dad. I'm actually the conservative one in the group.
It's not that, it's more a stability thing. She seems like a loose cannon.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 13, 2011, 10:15:50 PM
And yet you managed to yank up your kids at a moment's notice and make them follow your dreams to another state, so let's not, mmmkay?
Huh? :blink:
You've got me confused with someone else. I lived with my ex-husband for three years after I left him. When I did finally move out, I bought a house no more than 20 minutes away. After another two years (and five years of the ex not bothering to parent), I moved about two hours away. My kids still visit their dad every other weekend, every holiday, and they spend the summer with him.
But good effort, there, Seedy. :thumbsup:
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 15, 2011, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 15, 2011, 08:20:34 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 15, 2011, 08:17:41 PM
I don't think I would vote for your mom. :P
She's much more liberal then I am, but then so is my Dad. I'm actually the conservative one in the group.
It's not that, it's more a stability thing. She seems like a loose cannon.
It's possible she only seems that way to me because she hasn't given me all the information or is lying to me about some of the things. Though the probably won't make you want to vote for her anymore.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 15, 2011, 08:14:49 PM
I think she's moving to close to where you are. Mattoon.
Heh... she's about 45 minutes away from us. Odd place to move in Illinois to restart one's political career. I would guess that you're correct on the boyfriend front, Raz.
Apparently she can take classes there, for her medical billing thingy.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 15, 2011, 08:31:34 PM
Apparently she can take classes there, for her medical billing thingy.
That she can. There's a relatively decent community college there, as well as a good four-year school, too. But for the political world? Not so much.
Quote from: merithyn on April 15, 2011, 08:33:33 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 15, 2011, 08:31:34 PM
Apparently she can take classes there, for her medical billing thingy.
That she can. There's a relatively decent community college there, as well as a good four-year school, too. But for the political world? Not so much.
The union medical billing job was her political in, remember?
Quote from: merithyn on April 15, 2011, 08:22:26 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 13, 2011, 10:15:50 PM
And yet you managed to yank up your kids at a moment's notice and make them follow your dreams to another state, so let's not, mmmkay?
Huh? :blink:
You've got me confused with someone else. I lived with my ex-husband for three years after I left him. When I did finally move out, I bought a house no more than 20 minutes away. After another two years (and five years of the ex not bothering to parent), I moved about two hours away. My kids still visit their dad every other weekend, every holiday, and they spend the summer with him.
But good effort, there, Seedy. :thumbsup:
You didn't yank the kids up at a moment's notice so you and Max could go to school in another state with that whole Urbana debacle? No? Nothing? No bells there?
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 15, 2011, 08:58:16 PM
You didn't yank the kids up at a moment's notice so you and Max could go to school in another state with that whole Urbana debacle? No? Nothing? No bells there?
Seedy fails geography. And time management.
Urbana,
IL, nimrod. :secret:
And I gave the ex six months notice. but sure.... a "moment's" notice....
Pfft, whatever. The important thing to remember is you didn't even TRY to make your first marriage work.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 15, 2011, 09:23:27 PM
Pfft, whatever. The important thing to remember is you didn't even TRY to make your first marriage work.
:lol:
Okay, Seedy. Just relax and pet your kitties.
Just one kitty, you insensitive harlot.
All I can say is that when the spouse ups and leaves and take cash, whether it is 500 or perhaps (and who is to say how much) many times this, it sucks. This in from personal experience.
That is a pretty good sign to get a lawyer and start the procedings for for themself.
Quote from: merithyn on April 15, 2011, 09:26:39 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 15, 2011, 09:23:27 PM
Pfft, whatever. The important thing to remember is you didn't even TRY to make your first marriage work.
:lol:
Okay, Seedy. Just relax and pet your kitties.
An artist's rendering of the event...
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.tribe.net%2Ftribe%2Fupload%2Fphoto%2F3ee%2Fa74%2F3eea74bb-9474-45bf-b156-442135133454.medium&hash=818d3e1dea6791564b62fd2511b433f0bf39244b)
I agree with Seedy. Urbana is in Illinois. Chicago is in Chi-CAAAAAAAAAAH-goah.
I discovered that my mom claims she has a new job in Illinois waiting for her. She's going to write about local politics for some online publication. All for the princely sum of 200 bucks a month. Still it's interesting since she knows nothing about the local politics of central Illinois and very little about writing.
Sorry to hear that Raz. What's going to happen to you now? I mean, can your father pay your medical bills and keep a roof over your head on his own?
Quote from: Legbiter on April 16, 2011, 06:22:55 PM
Sorry to hear that Raz. What's going to happen to you now? I mean, can your father pay your medical bills and keep a roof over your head on his own?
Yeah. I should be good for right now. We will probably have to sell the house though. I've been going out more lately, so that's good. I really disturbed a lady today at the Walmart. She was sitting in her truck and I saw she had a flier attached to the windshield and stop and read it. I didn't see her because the window was tinted, but according to my dad she was visibly upset when a strange man walked up to her truck and stared at her intently.
So I may not be ready for prime time yet.
Very common rookie mistake. Don't let it throw you off.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 16, 2011, 06:37:21 PM
Very common rookie mistake. Don't let it throw you off.
Well, last week I attacked a gum ball machine for giving me lip...
Quote from: Razgovory on April 16, 2011, 06:46:26 PM
Well, last week I attacked a gum ball machine for giving me lip...
A minor blip. Shrug it off and keep powering on through.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 16, 2011, 06:49:55 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 16, 2011, 06:46:26 PM
Well, last week I attacked a gum ball machine for giving me lip...
A minor blip. Shrug it off and keep powering on through.
Yeah, the hairdresser said she was glad someone finally did it.
I found I do not care for casinos. Also my mother took all the family photos.
Raz, you're funny in the best sense of the word; you make me smile quite often. :cheers:
You should think of doing something with this talent of yours.
I think Raz, Mono and Siege should do a comedy tour. :D
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 17, 2011, 05:52:33 PM
I think Raz, Mono and Siege should do a comedy tour. :D
:lol:
Quote from: jamesww on April 17, 2011, 05:23:42 PM
Raz, you're funny in the best sense of the word; you make me smile quite often. :cheers:
You should think of doing something with this talent of yours.
A girl told me something similar once, though she phrased it in a different way.
"Raz, I think you are very funny, but you also have a very irritating voice and I don't want to sit next to you very long, so maybe you should be a writer or something".
I'm paraphrasing, because she told me this in 7th grade, and I don't recall exactly what she said, but that's the gist of it. I do remember that I didn't follow up on my plan to ask her to the Harvest Dance that Friday though.
Quoteso maybe you should be a writer or something".
There you go, write a novel. With ebooks, you don't even need a publisher. Slap it up on Amazon and B&N and see how many suckers buy your book.
Look for my new novel,
Hitler and Himmler travel in time to go to Arby's.
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 17, 2011, 06:19:31 PM
Look for my new novel, Hitler and Himmler travel in time to go to Arby's.
We'll all make sure to pirate copies of it. :P
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 17, 2011, 06:23:27 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 17, 2011, 06:19:31 PM
Look for my new novel, Hitler and Himmler travel in time to go to Arby's.
We'll all make sure to pirate copies of it. :P
If it gets picked up by Baen you won't even have to copy it. They give that shit away for free.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 17, 2011, 06:23:27 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 17, 2011, 06:19:31 PM
Look for my new novel, Hitler and Himmler travel in time to go to Arby's.
We'll all make sure to pirate copies of it. :P
I have a family to feed, you monster.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 16, 2011, 06:29:28 PM
Quote from: Legbiter on April 16, 2011, 06:22:55 PM
Sorry to hear that Raz. What's going to happen to you now? I mean, can your father pay your medical bills and keep a roof over your head on his own?
Yeah. I should be good for right now. We will probably have to sell the house though. I've been going out more lately, so that's good. I really disturbed a lady today at the Walmart. She was sitting in her truck and I saw she had a flier attached to the windshield and stop and read it. I didn't see her because the window was tinted, but according to my dad she was visibly upset when a strange man walked up to her truck and stared at her intently.
So I may not be ready for prime time yet.
There is nothing crazy about reading a flyer on a windshield--so long as you didn't intend to stare at her there is nothing odd about what you did. Don't worry about it.
Just don't attack the gumball machines, no matter what they say to you.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 17, 2011, 06:14:11 PM
Quote from: jamesww on April 17, 2011, 05:23:42 PM
Raz, you're funny in the best sense of the word; you make me smile quite often. :cheers:
You should think of doing something with this talent of yours.
A girl told me something similar once, though she phrased it in a different way.
"Raz, I think you are very funny, but you also have a very irritating voice and I don't want to sit next to you very long, so maybe you should be a writer or something".
I'm paraphrasing, because she told me this in 7th grade, and I don't recall exactly what she said, but that's the gist of it. I do remember that I didn't follow up on my plan to ask her to the Harvest Dance that Friday though.
Maybe she would have been open to accepting a written invitation? We'll never know now...
1) if one has a flier on her car, one should except people to read it. You didn't see her there. Non-issue
2) do not mistake lack of routine with genuine inability
My Mom called my Dad tonight asking for money. It really upset him. It doesn't seem to dawn on her that he may not want to give her hand outs as she serves him divorce papers and hides out in Illinois.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 28, 2011, 10:54:56 PM
My Mom called my Dad tonight asking for money. It really upset him. It doesn't seem to dawn on her that he may not want to give her hand outs as she serves him divorce papers and hides out in Illinois.
You dad better hope Jimmy Carter doesn't get involved.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 28, 2011, 10:56:21 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 28, 2011, 10:54:56 PM
My Mom called my Dad tonight asking for money. It really upset him. It doesn't seem to dawn on her that he may not want to give her hand outs as she serves him divorce papers and hides out in Illinois.
You dad better hope Jimmy Carter doesn't get involved.
This phrase can apply to any situation, now that I think about it.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 28, 2011, 10:54:56 PM
My Mom called my Dad tonight asking for money. It really upset him. It doesn't seem to dawn on her that he may not want to give her hand outs as she serves him divorce papers and hides out in Illinois.
Allow me to reiterate my position that I would not vote for your mother, and perhaps she might consider that a life in politics is perhaps not the best thing for anyone.
Well, now I'm really confused. My mom want's to come back to live with us again. She said being single wasn't as much fun as she thought it would be. I'm rather conflicted.
Quote from: Razgovory on June 03, 2011, 05:18:55 PM
Well, now I'm really confused. My mom want's to come back to live with us again. She said being single wasn't as much fun as she thought it would be. I'm rather conflicted.
That takes balls. :mellow:
How does your dad feel about this?
He's as confused as I am. He said she can come back, but not if she's just going to run off again. I don't think he could take it again. It's been pretty hard on us. However, she has lied to a lot recently, so we really aren't sure what to make of this.
Hopefully your dad has his money secured.
Quote from: Razgovory on June 03, 2011, 05:18:55 PM
Well, now I'm really confused. My mom want's to come back to live with us again. She said being single wasn't as much fun as she thought it would be. I'm rather conflicted.
Best case: She's completed her Boomer quest for self-fulfilment. XP and loot have been gathered, time to head back home.
What? I'm back! Why the sour faces? :huh:
Worst case: You'll know if it's this. Trust me, within a week you'll know. :)
She said she wants to go through marriage counseling, and yeah, we are keeping the money locked up.
She's your mom, be happy that you may get her back. No one is perfect, but she's still your mom despite everything she's done recently.
Heh. Her lifestyle trade-up fell through and now she's headed back to plan B. The fallback position.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 03, 2011, 06:24:25 PM
Heh. Her lifestyle trade-up fell through and now she's headed back to plan B. The fallback position.
Yeah, apparently that happened. I already posted her asinine plans. I thought this might happen, her coming to her senses and realizing she's 55 not 25.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 03, 2011, 06:24:25 PM
Heh. Her lifestyle trade-up fell through and now she's headed back to plan B. The fallback position.
My best friend's girlfriend dumped him because of some Prince Charming she met online. He moved out, finished his degree, met this chick, fell in love, she moved in etc. Then almost a year later the ex calls him up out of the blue in order to patch things up. Evidently the Prince turned out to be a frog, so no part-time working bf to help pay for her sociology degree. When he politely declined to reconnect, she got mad for some reason. :hmm:
Quote from: Legbiter on June 03, 2011, 06:56:09 PM
My best friend's girlfriend dumped him because of some Prince Charming she met online. He moved out, finished his degree, met this chick, fell in love, she moved in etc. Then almost a year later the ex calls him up out of the blue in order to patch things up. Evidently the Prince turned out to be a frog, so no part-time working bf to help pay for her sociology degree. When he politely declined to reconnect, she got mad for some reason. :hmm:
Was Prince Charming a pro surfer? I think I've seen that movie. :hmm:
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 03, 2011, 06:24:25 PM
Heh. Her lifestyle trade-up fell through and now she's headed back to plan B. The fallback position.
Don't worry, there'll be another Plan A soon enough.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on June 03, 2011, 07:56:17 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 03, 2011, 06:24:25 PM
Heh. Her lifestyle trade-up fell through and now she's headed back to plan B. The fallback position.
Don't worry, there'll be another Plan A soon enough.
I hear you're at loose ends.
Quote from: Legbiter on June 03, 2011, 06:56:09 PM
Evidently the Prince turned out to be a frog
I'd dump someone if I found out that they were secretly French.
What about someone who's openly French?
Quote from: garbon on June 04, 2011, 12:25:59 PM
Quote from: Legbiter on June 03, 2011, 06:56:09 PM
Evidently the Prince turned out to be a frog
I'd dump someone if I found out that they were secretly French.
I'd dump someone if I found out they were secretly Prince.
Quote from: DGuller on June 03, 2011, 06:18:06 PM
She's your mom, be happy that you may get her back. No one is perfect, but she's still your mom despite everything she's done recently.
Fuck that shit. Blood only gets you so far.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on June 04, 2011, 12:45:48 PM
What about someone who's openly French?
I've never encountered someone so vile.
Well, my mom is back home, and everything is returning to normal. She's agreed to seek marriage counseling. She didn't understand why we did some thing while she was gone. Like changing the locks, or my dad getting a new bank account, or throwing away the dozens of pairs of old shoes she left while we were cleaning out.
You threw away a woman's shoes. That means war
Quote from: HVC on June 07, 2011, 08:45:20 PM
You threw away a woman's shoes. That means war
I didn't throw them away. Hell most of them are still in trash bags if my mom wants to look for them. We have a massive backlog of trash to throw out now.
Quote from: Scipio on June 03, 2011, 09:07:00 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on June 03, 2011, 07:56:17 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 03, 2011, 06:24:25 PM
Heh. Her lifestyle trade-up fell through and now she's headed back to plan B. The fallback position.
Don't worry, there'll be another Plan A soon enough.
I hear you're at loose ends.
When the fuck am I not.
A few days ago, I posted that I thought a crazy man was at the door. It turned out he was just southern and selling some soap. My mom bought some, what looked like a bottle of bleach. For 70 bucks. And she gave the guy my dad's debit card number. Surprise, surprise, she found that the stuff didn't work. :face:
Quote from: Razgovory on April 03, 2011, 10:50:33 PM
This is extremely distressing for me. Last month, my mom left for her friends house (a female friend), to spend spring break. That's not uncommon. She's been visiting her best friend a lot lately. Except this time, she doesn't come back. She's been there for a month and isn't coming back.
Does she have life insurance?
I don't know anymore. The situation has changed since my original post.
Quote from: garbon on June 04, 2011, 12:25:59 PM
Quote from: Legbiter on June 03, 2011, 06:56:09 PM
Evidently the Prince turned out to be a frog
I'd dump someone if I found out that they were secretly French.
:glare:
So my Mom came back again. Not getting a Divorce. Also my back is all better. Didn't even have to see a wizard.
Gotcha.
Quote from: Razgovory on June 28, 2012, 01:44:59 PM
So my Mom came back again. Not getting a Divorce. Also my back is all better. Didn't even have to see a wizard.
Do wizards help with that?
Quote from: Neil on June 28, 2012, 01:48:55 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on June 28, 2012, 01:44:59 PM
So my Mom came back again. Not getting a Divorce. Also my back is all better. Didn't even have to see a wizard.
Do wizards help with that?
Grumbler seems to think so.
Quote from: Razgovory on June 28, 2012, 01:44:59 PM
So my Mom came back again. Not getting a Divorce. Also my back is all better. Didn't even have to see a wizard.
And that'll last until when, exactly? Tuesday?
Fuck if I know. I think she wore out her welcome where she was. She may have gotten into her head that she's not 25 anymore. Reality seems to have hit her pretty hard. She recently discovered she's not as smart as she though she was, and insulting your hosts behind their back is not a good idea.