So my Mom has gone crazy. Raz on the March!

[Valmy]

This brings me to this question.

What does filling seperately means in the US?

You can file jointly as a married couple and that effects your taxes in various ways.  How exactly is probably unnecessarily complex and convoluted, this being US tax law and all.

[Malthus]

I'd be pretty surprised and unhappy if she suddenly without telling me took money from that account, but she has every legal right to do it.

I am sorry just because you have a legal right to do something does not make it right or admirable.  I was not talking about theft as a legal term.  I am talking about taking somebody elses things without their permission in a normal everyday sense.  I am talking about a breach of trust and taking actions that will harm others.  I do not give two shits about what is legal here.  This is about relationships not the courtroom.

Certainly - but here the relationship in question here is that of long-married spouses. She is entitled to some of their property - both by law and in the ordinary, everyday "relationship" sense. The money dad has is not only dad's, it is, at least to an extent and within reason, hers as well. 

Now, if she cleaned them out and took off with *all* of the family money, that's obviously a different story. Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.

I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.

[DontSayBanana]

This brings me to this question.

What does filling seperately means in the US?

It means the couple are married, but each is filing their own tax return, instead of filing one joint return with both spouses signing.  I'm not sure whether there's a difference in tax rates between MFJ and MFS, but at the very least, you've got the additional cost of filing another return if you use someone to prepare it.

[Razgovory]

She wants to go to Illinois, finish her medical transcription training, join the Union, and use that as a stepping stone to a career in Illinois politics. 

You had me at "medical transcription training". 

Oh, I was wrong.  It's called Medical billing and coding.

[DontSayBanana]

Certainly - but here the relationship in question here is that of long-married spouses. She is entitled to some of their property - both by law and in the ordinary, everyday "relationship" sense. The money dad has is not only dad's, it is, at least to an extent and within reason, hers as well. 

Now, if she cleaned them out and took off with *all* of the family money, that's obviously a different story. Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.

I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.

You're assuming the account is worth much more than that.  Considering the Razes are freaked about having to file separate returns being expensive, that may very well not be the case.  Even less likely, when you consider both Raz and his dad having medical conditions.

[merithyn]

As I have said, I disagree with HOW she's handled things, but certainly not why. Not knowing the financial picture, all I can say is that while her leaving is going to cause serious financial repercussions, one certainly understand what she's done. That being said, I doubt Raz will ever understand.

[Valmy]

Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.

I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.

But Malthus she 'just swiped' it.  So if after a few decades I can just take my wife's things without her permission and leave?  I am entitled to that?  Isn't she entitled to anything?

[Barrister]

As I have said, I disagree with HOW she's handled things, but certainly not why. Not knowing the financial picture, all I can say is that while her leaving is going to cause serious financial repercussions, one certainly understand what she's done. That being said, I doubt Raz will ever understand.

Some thoughts are better left unsaid Meri.

[Grey Fox]

It's not his!, it's theirs!

That's Malthus entire point.

[Valmy]

As I have said, I disagree with HOW she's handled things, but certainly not why.

Sure.  I bet if she had sat down and discussed this in a responsible way with her Hubby and Raz they could have worked it out in a respectful way that did not cause harm to either party.  The fact she did not do that is very unfortunate.

[grumbler]

So Raz misrepresented the situation?  Again I can only go by what he said.  If she did not, in fact, take $500.00 from his dad's account (and most couples know how to get into their SOs bank account, I know all of my wife's passwords and so forth), I retract my statement.  But since he specifically said she did I can only go by that.

Even if it was a mutual account Raz seemed to make it clear this was a big breach of trust.

It is impossible to know the situation based on what has been presented.  Why is it so important to you that you be able to judge Raz's? Let it go, FFS.

[Valmy]

It is impossible to know the situation based on what has been presented.  Why is it so important to you that you be able to assign blame? Let it go, FFS.

What was important was trying to communicate what I was trying to say, which I have a hard time doing, not trying to assign blame.  Meri seems to understand what I was getting at so I guess I was successful.  Anyway I was done.

[Razgovory]

Just to make clear my dad does in fact have a job. Her reasoning is that she wants to be a politician in Illinois and she doesn't think she can be one in Missouri (she had a short political career here, but lost her last election).  So she decided to run off to follow those dreams.  She does seem genuinely baffled that her children are mad at her about this, though.  It hasn't occurred to her that inflicting  harm on them by destroying the family so she can take a shot at her crazy ass ambitions might engender some resentment.

[Malthus]

Here, she took a relatively minor amount - $500.

I find it difficult to understand how, after decades of marriage, the wife is not entitled to take $500 to establish herself when she can't stand no more and wants to leave.

But Malthus she 'just swiped' it.  So if after a few decades I can just take my wife's things without her permission and leave?  I am entitled to that?  Isn't she entitled to anything?

Well, money is fungible - it isn't entirely "his".

The point that she ought not to up and leave without talking things over first is a good one - I can certainly understand why one would not want to do that, but the more mature and respectful way to deal with it is to talk it out first.

However, that decision being made, taking the cash isn't the issue at all - leaving without discussing the matter first is.

[Valmy]

However, that decision being made, taking the cash isn't the issue at all - leaving without discussing the matter first is.

Bingo.  That is what I was trying to say.  It is the apparent breach of trust that was the issue for me.  The money was just the manifestation.