So my Mom has gone crazy. Raz on the March!

[Grey Fox]

Still the solution is not the continuance of the status quo.

[Caliga]

So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on?  Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part.  It hits too close to home.

I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part.  It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal?  Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household.

[Martinus]

It is irresponsible and hurtful for someone to just up and leave their family with little or no explanation.  Certainly not nearly *as* irresponsible and hurtful as if her kids were not grown, but irresponsible and hurtful nonetheless.

I have a feeling we are not getting the full picture. Has she voiced her concerns/misgivings about the situation before? Was she ever listened to/did her husband and adult son discuss it with her or has she always been taken for granted?

[Martinus]

So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on?  Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part.  It hits too close to home.

I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part.  It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal?  Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household.

Yeah, my thoughts exactly. And even if she isn't working and that's Mr. Raz who is bringing the money, unless they both have separate accounts into which the money gets split evenly and then she makes away with the money put specifically into his account, I don't see how this is "stealing" in any manner.

Frankly, from Raz's attitude I'm beginning to see why she chose to do what she did more clearly.

[Valmy]

So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on?  Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part.  It hits too close to home.

I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part.  It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal?  Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household.

Raz said he has a bank account (that his mom took $500.00 from) and she wants to file taxes separately now.  If he is filing taxes and has a bank account that suggests he works.  Where did Raz say he did not?

[Malthus]

So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on?  Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part.  It hits too close to home.

I missed the part about the money stolen - where is that?

The issue here is that she seemingly feels trapped into basically caring for two adults on a more or less permanent basis. Not everyone can do that, selflessly, with no expectation of the possibility of some sort of reciprocal payback eventually.

I find it hard to judge someone harshly for not being up to that burden. A life of dedication to the needs of others isn't for everyone.

[Martinus]

I know I'm going to get lynched for this, but so be it.

Not by me.

I was sort of thinking the same, really.

So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on?  Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part.  It hits too close to home.

You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?

[Martinus]

So if your wife stole your money and ran off you would be cheering her on?  Maybe I just cannot get over the whole 'financially screwing your ex' part.  It hits too close to home.

I'm curious about the whole "stealing money" part.  It sounds like Mr. Raz doesn't work, so how would he have any money to steal?  Unless I am misreading the Raz life story it sounds like Mrs. Raz is the financial head of household.

Raz said he has a bank account (that his mom took $500.00 from) and she wants to file taxes separately now.  If he is filing taxes and has a bank account that suggests he works.  Where did Raz say he did not?

Somehow she got access to that money, so unless it was by fraud, she was authorized to access the account. And the presumption for any money held by married people is that it is held jointly with a spouse, unless there is a clear reason to believe otherwise (e.g. inheritance by one of them).

[Barrister]

You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?

So?

Suddenly draining the bank account (or even just draining 50% of it) and running isn't right.

[Martinus]

You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?

So?

Suddenly draining the bank account (or even just draining 50% of it) and running isn't right.

It may be reckless and irresponsible (but I would reserve my judgement until I know the full picture, and I have a feeling Raz is not telling us the whole story), but my point was that it isn't theft.

[Valmy]

I missed the part about the money stolen - where is that?

The issue here is that she seemingly feels trapped into basically caring for two adults on a more or less permanent basis. Not everyone can do that, selflessly, with no expectation of the possibility of some sort of reciprocal payback eventually.

I find it hard to judge someone harshly for not being up to that burden. A life of dedication to the needs of others isn't for everyone.

It doesn't help that she just swiped 500 bucks from my dad's account, and now wants to file separate tax returns.  That'll cost us an additional 1,800.  She may very well cause us to lose our house

I am not judging her for her desire to do something for herself what I disapprove of are actions, granted as represented by Raz, she has taken to do so.  There is such a thing as doing things the right way and doing things the wrong way.

[Valmy]

It may be reckless and irresponsible (but I would reserve my judgement until I know the full picture, and I have a feeling Raz is not telling us the whole story), but my point was that it isn't theft.

Not in the legal sense no.  Notice I did not tell Raz to call the cops.

It may indeed be reckless and irresponsible and yes it does depend on Raz's version being the truth of the matter.  But if his version is accurate I have a hard time being too sympathetic to his mother.

[Malthus]

I missed the part about the money stolen - where is that?

The issue here is that she seemingly feels trapped into basically caring for two adults on a more or less permanent basis. Not everyone can do that, selflessly, with no expectation of the possibility of some sort of reciprocal payback eventually.

I find it hard to judge someone harshly for not being up to that burden. A life of dedication to the needs of others isn't for everyone.

It doesn't help that she just swiped 500 bucks from my dad's account, and now wants to file separate tax returns.  That'll cost us an additional 1,800.  She may very well cause us to lose our house

I am not judging her for her desire to do something for herself what I disapprove of are actions, granted as represented by Raz, she has taken to do so.  There is such a thing as doing things the right way and doing things the wrong way.

If she is moving out, taking some money from a mutual accout (I don't see how she'd have access to it if it was *not* a mutual account) is hardly unreasonable.

She took $500, which is hardly enough to rent a room for a month.

A married person taking money from a mutual account is not 'stealing'.

[DGuller]

I feel sorry for the mom.  Even if she did go nuts, she went nuts for understanble reasons.

[Malthus]

You do realize that the money is just as much Malthus' as is his wife's, right?

So?

Suddenly draining the bank account (or even just draining 50% of it) and running isn't right.

She's hardly making out like Ma Barker. She took $500. Assuming it is a mutual account, how is she expected to move out without any money?