I'm still chuckling over the idea that derspeiss will meet a female god when/if he goes to heaven, and it, of course, has me thinking.
Given the way that you live your life today, what are you really hoping doesn't screw you in heaven?
For me, it would completely suck if I found out that Catholics had it mostly right, and because I didn't stick to that path, I'm now going somewhere not so pleasant as heaven.
:zipped:
:lol:
First thing that comes to mind is: spending too much time on Languish.
Once I've recovered from the shock of there actually being an afterlife, I presume I would head off to the City of Dis, according to this quiz (http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv).
QuoteYou approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.
I'm really hoping there isn't an afterlife, as I don't appear to be one of the elect.
Heaven?
Man it would suck if we really did sit around on clouds playing harps all day for eternity. I hate harp music.
That I would be the only one there. :(
;)
Quote from: derspiess on October 16, 2013, 08:43:58 AM
First thing that comes to mind is: spending too much time on Languish.
I sure hope the afterlife doesn't consist of that. :lol:
What am I hoping doesn't screw me?
That any religion actually is true.
A harem <_<
If there is a female god, or any god, or gods, I would first want a really good explanation why she, he, they, it have cocked things up so badly.
Quote from: Viking on October 16, 2013, 10:40:44 AM
What am I hoping doesn't screw me?
That any religion actually is true.
The Greek Gods were real after all! Welcome to Hades.
Quote from: Valmy on October 16, 2013, 10:45:22 AM
Quote from: Viking on October 16, 2013, 10:40:44 AM
What am I hoping doesn't screw me?
That any religion actually is true.
The Greek Gods were real after all! Welcome to Hades.
That would be pretty cool and would present a cogent reason as to why the gods have messed things up so badly.
I could stand a drink from the Lethe River.
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 08:35:23 AM
I'm still chuckling over the idea that derspeiss will meet a female god when/if he goes to heaven, and it, of course, has me thinking.
I'm chuckling at the idea of him going to heaven, period.
Quote from: DGuller on October 16, 2013, 10:53:18 AM
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 08:35:23 AM
I'm still chuckling over the idea that derspeiss will meet a female god when/if he goes to heaven, and it, of course, has me thinking.
I'm chuckling at the idea of him going to heaven, period.
I've lived a virtuous life :goodboy:
That Pope John XXII had it right, that until Judgment Day happens no one is allowed in Heaven, so you are left to wait outside the gates or in a state of prolonged sheol until it does.
Or, alternatively, that Jack Chick had it right and the Lord really is the monomaniacal, egostical, D-capital douchebag he proposes as the Christian God.
Quote from: Drakken on October 16, 2013, 11:31:14 AM
Or, alternatively, that Jack Chick had it right and the Lord really is the monomaniacal, egostical, D-capital douchebag he proposes as the Christian God.
In that case I am already going to Hell for all my Dungeons and Dragons(tm) playing as a kid.
Quote from: Valmy on October 16, 2013, 11:45:33 AM
Quote from: Drakken on October 16, 2013, 11:31:14 AM
Or, alternatively, that Jack Chick had it right and the Lord really is the monomaniacal, egostical, D-capital douchebag he proposes as the Christian God.
In that case I am already going to Hell for all my Dungeons and Dragons(tm) playing as a kid.
:lol:
That is pretty much what convinced me there wasnt much to the threat of damnation. When I was about 14 my grandparents took me to hear a sermon. It was full of threats that if people did x, y and z (the list was quite long as I recall) they would go to hell. I rememeber thinking that everyone I knew, including my parents, were doomed to hellfire and brimstone. I then thought that without all those people heaven would be a pretty boring place.
Heaven sounds pretty dull.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 16, 2013, 11:50:39 AM
That is pretty much what convinced me there wasnt much to threat of damnation. When I was about 14 my grandparents took me to hear a sermon. It was full of threats that if people did x, y and z (the list was quite long as I recall) they would go to hell. I rememeber thinking that everyone I knew, including my parents, were doomed to hellfire and brimstone. I then thought that without all those people heaven would be a pretty boring place.
Another thing that should appear to your lawyer side, is that any system of justice in which either a class-E felony or a missdemeanor which hasn't been pleaded guilty to can lead the accused straight to an eternity in Death Row upon sentencing is a piss-poor system indeed.
Quote from: Drakken on October 16, 2013, 11:55:22 AM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 16, 2013, 11:50:39 AM
That is pretty much what convinced me there wasnt much to threat of damnation. When I was about 14 my grandparents took me to hear a sermon. It was full of threats that if people did x, y and z (the list was quite long as I recall) they would go to hell. I rememeber thinking that everyone I knew, including my parents, were doomed to hellfire and brimstone. I then thought that without all those people heaven would be a pretty boring place.
Another thing that should appear to your lawyer side, is that any system of justice in which either a class-E felony or a missdemeanor which hasn't been pleaded guilty to can lead the accused straight to an eternity in Death Row upon sentencing is a piss-poor system indeed.
I am not sure what you mean but as I understood it the notion wasnt a question of guilt in the legal sense. If the person really did do those things then where going to hell. The issue for me was the things that were picked out for damnation were pretty minor. We might be saying the same thing but I am not sure.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 16, 2013, 11:50:39 AM
Quote from: Valmy on October 16, 2013, 11:45:33 AM
Quote from: Drakken on October 16, 2013, 11:31:14 AM
Or, alternatively, that Jack Chick had it right and the Lord really is the monomaniacal, egostical, D-capital douchebag he proposes as the Christian God.
In that case I am already going to Hell for all my Dungeons and Dragons(tm) playing as a kid.
:lol:
That is pretty much what convinced me there wasnt much to the threat of damnation. When I was about 14 my grandparents took me to hear a sermon. It was full of threats that if people did x, y and z (the list was quite long as I recall) they would go to hell. I rememeber thinking that everyone I knew, including my parents, were doomed to hellfire and brimstone. I then thought that without all those people heaven would be a pretty boring place.
That is usually enough proof for me that people going to church are atheists too.
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 11:54:28 AM
Heaven sounds pretty dull.
I guess I don't think of heaven in the same way as Valmy and you seem to. It's not, to me, playing harps while sitting on clouds. Rather, it's a place of absolute knowledge and joy, however you may see that.
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 12:14:53 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 11:54:28 AM
Heaven sounds pretty dull.
I guess I don't think of heaven in the same way as Valmy and you seem to. It's not, to me, playing harps while sitting on clouds. Rather, it's a place of absolute knowledge and joy, however you may see that.
Languish? :o
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 12:14:53 PM
I guess I don't think of heaven in the same way as Valmy and you seem to. It's not, to me, playing harps while sitting on clouds. Rather, it's a place of absolute knowledge and joy, however you may see that.
That was a joke Meri :P
Oh. :blush:
I've never heard a fire and brimstone sermon in my life :mellow:
I've heard about rosaries and miracles and the devil and confession - but never damnation.
Quote from: Sheilbh on October 16, 2013, 12:23:44 PM
I've never heard a fire and brimstone sermon in my life :mellow:
I've heard about rosaries and miracles and the devil and confession - but never damnation.
Fire and brimstone is more of an American protestant thing. At least the un-ironic ones. I doubt British Catholic Priests would be going off like that in earnest.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 16, 2013, 10:44:44 AM
If there is a female god, or any god, or gods, I would first want a really good explanation why she, he, they, it have cocked things up so badly.
Why would it be their fault?
The idea of heaven is unpleasant.
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 12:14:53 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 11:54:28 AM
Heaven sounds pretty dull.
I guess I don't think of heaven in the same way as Valmy and you seem to. It's not, to me, playing harps while sitting on clouds. Rather, it's a place of absolute knowledge and joy, however you may see that.
Absolute knowledge sounds awful. Spending eternity without anything new to learn seems boring to the extreme.
Quote from: Sheilbh on October 16, 2013, 12:23:44 PM
I've never heard a fire and brimstone sermon in my life :mellow:
I've heard about rosaries and miracles and the devil and confession - but never damnation.
That is because of two things. First you do not live in North America. Second you are Catholic. Those two factors mean that you have experienced a theology that makes much more sense than what I experienced.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 16, 2013, 12:37:54 PM
Quote from: Sheilbh on October 16, 2013, 12:23:44 PM
I've never heard a fire and brimstone sermon in my life :mellow:
I've heard about rosaries and miracles and the devil and confession - but never damnation.
That is because of two things. First you do not live in North America. Second you are Catholic. Those two factors mean that you have experienced a theology that makes much more sense than what I experienced.
Yeah as I child I mainly felt (when not just boring) that Church was a place to remind me about how I damned to hell.
"Heaven is a place on Earth."
:cool:
It's just other people that mess it up. <_<
If there really is a god/gods in a heaven, then right off the bat I'm taking them to task for the weak scenario, confusing rules and poorly defined victory conditions, but will compliment them on the map.
They say in heaven, love comes first.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 16, 2013, 10:44:44 AM
If there is a female god, or any god, or gods, I would first want a really good explanation why she, he, they, it have cocked things up so badly.
That would explain a lot.
Tell me all your thoughts on God, cause I'm on my way to see her.
This was the first thought to hit my brain upon seeing the thread title....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOGEyBeoBGM
Quote from: Tonitrus on October 16, 2013, 04:28:01 PM
This was the first thought to hit my brain upon seeing the thread title....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOGEyBeoBGM
I see your one hit wonder and raise you a true classic (from my guilty pleasures playlist)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eT464L1YRA
Both of you need to be repeatedly punched in the balls.
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 16, 2013, 04:37:31 PM
Both of you need to be repeatedly punched in the balls.
In which case I will burn your eardrums with blasphemy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlGEII0ejyA
Quote from: Sheilbh on October 16, 2013, 12:23:44 PM
I've never heard a fire and brimstone sermon in my life :mellow:
I've heard about rosaries and miracles and the devil and confession - but never damnation.
Neither have I.
Me, either. Catholic Mass tends to be short on that sort of thing, from my experiences.
Quote from: Habbaku on October 16, 2013, 05:02:47 PM
Me, either. Catholic Mass tends to be short on that sort of thing, from my experiences.
I'll add this to my list of things Protestants have ruined. Somewhere near Cathedrals, Christmas, Damnation...
Quote from: Sheilbh on October 16, 2013, 05:22:03 PM
Quote from: Habbaku on October 16, 2013, 05:02:47 PM
Me, either. Catholic Mass tends to be short on that sort of thing, from my experiences.
I'll add this to my list of things Protestants have ruined. Somewhere near Cathedrals, Christmas, Damnation...
Puritans abolished Christmas. Lutherans invented it.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/berkshire/hi/people_and_places/history/newsid_9286000/9286971.stm
Like I can tell the difference :P
Quote from: Habbaku on October 16, 2013, 05:02:47 PM
Me, either. Catholic Mass tends to be short on that sort of thing, from my experiences.
From my experience, catholic churches seemed so desperate to get congregants that they couldn't possibly say something so racy.
I enjoy a good fire and brimstone sermon. None of that love thy neighbor bullshit.
I successfully avoid meeting my neighbors!
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 07:19:03 PM
I successfully avoid meeting my neighbors!
This was always my least favorite part of mass, and I was happy to leave it behind. Now I find out that the UU church I go to does it every Sunday. :glare:
The absolute worst are the churches where you have to hug the people next to you. :yuk:
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 07:39:57 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 07:19:03 PM
I successfully avoid meeting my neighbors!
This was always my least favorite part of mass, and I was happy to leave it behind. Now I find out that the UU church I go to does it every Sunday. :glare:
HA! UNITARIAN!
Everybody point and laugh.
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 16, 2013, 07:51:06 PM
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 07:39:57 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 07:19:03 PM
I successfully avoid meeting my neighbors!
This was always my least favorite part of mass, and I was happy to leave it behind. Now I find out that the UU church I go to does it every Sunday. :glare:
HA! UNITARIAN!
Everybody point and laugh.
I don't want Valmy to get angry again.
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 16, 2013, 07:51:06 PM
HA! UNITARIAN!
Everybody point and laugh.
No one cares, Ed.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on October 16, 2013, 07:45:58 PM
The absolute worst are the churches where you have to hug the people next to you. :yuk:
Oh my :bleeding:
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 07:54:52 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 16, 2013, 07:51:06 PM
HA! UNITARIAN!
Everybody point and laugh.
No one cares, Ed.
Between dancing naked in the woods and you congregating with Unitarians, you are twice damned in my eyes.
I'll pretend to pray for you.
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 16, 2013, 07:57:00 PM
Between dancing naked in the woods and you congregating with Unitarians, you are twice damned in my eyes.
I'll pretend to pray for you.
Pfft. Dancing naked in the woods would be dumb. There's ticks and mosquitoes out there. :yucky:
:( We only went to Episcopalian (Anglican) church as kids.
The sermons were mostly like:
Ok, people should do good things, and remember to do them to other people.
It is nice when folks are nice, mmmkay?
Gosh, doesn't all this stuff make you feel good.
Jesus was ok, he liked us all. Even the people who you might not like.
Amen.
Yuck.
You're damn right.
As a staunch atheist... that there actually is a heaven.
Actually the concept of heaven scares me.
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 08:35:23 AM
For me, it would completely suck if I found out that Catholics had it mostly right, and because I didn't stick to that path, I'm now going somewhere not so pleasant as heaven.
But we do, so it's a moot point. Sorry. :(
Quote from: Iormlund on October 16, 2013, 12:33:50 PM
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 12:14:53 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 11:54:28 AM
Heaven sounds pretty dull.
I guess I don't think of heaven in the same way as Valmy and you seem to. It's not, to me, playing harps while sitting on clouds. Rather, it's a place of absolute knowledge and joy, however you may see that.
Absolute knowledge sounds awful. Spending eternity without anything new to learn seems boring to the extreme.
I don't think that in heaven you become omniscient - that you automatically know all things.
Rather, think of it as... in heaven it becomes possible to know anything you want. You're curious what happened behind the grassy knoll in Dallas? You can go and 'research' and find out. You want to know what the ancient hittites were really like? You can go ask one.
I, of course, have no idea what heaven is really like. But I can certainly imagine a place where I could enjoy spending all of eternity in.
Quote from: Razgovory on October 16, 2013, 08:52:20 PM
Actually the concept of heaven scares me.
I wouldn't say it
scares me, per se, but I would definitely say I find the concept anathema. I'm far too individualistic for it to hold any appeal whatsoever.
The problem with heaven is that it means that all the evil things that men have ever done in its name were justified.
Quote from: Neil on October 16, 2013, 10:50:09 PM
The problem with heaven is that it means that all the evil things that men have ever done in its name were justified.
I don't see how that follows.
Assuming that they got there and they were right about the difficulty of getting there.
Myself, I just don't believe in those sorts of things.
Quote from: Neil on October 16, 2013, 11:02:56 PM
Assuming that they got there and they were right about the difficulty of getting there.
Those are fairly big assumptions.
Me - I find there's no downside to believing in heaven, and some sense of psychic upside. So I choose to believe. If I'm wrong, you can all laugh at my corpse, but I guess I won't care at that point.
You really won't. And, in fact, belief in a heaven that you have to earn is good for society.
Quote from: garbon on October 16, 2013, 07:53:27 PM
I don't want Valmy to get angry again.
Fear my wrath heathens!
An eternity would get very boring eventually, I would have to assume.
In heaven:
The police are British, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the lovers are French, and everything is organized by the Swiss.
In hell:
The police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.
Quote from: fhdz on October 17, 2013, 08:56:42 AM
In heaven:
The police are British, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the lovers are French, and everything is organized by the Swiss.
In hell:
The police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.
In heaven, they all cooperate to bring in the drinks cart.
In hell, it gets handled by Saudis.
The biggest shock is when we all realize reincarnation wasnt a scam and we really were all royalty in a past life.
Hopefully there's nothing but a mindless void.
However if there is something I know exactly what it will be - for me at least - reliving over and over the least savory moments of my life - like a looping virtual reality. With a possible variant of being in the shoes of whoever I wronged.
Quite terrifying.
A good thing I haven't killed anyone so far.
G.
And we say Raz is the one that's insane?
Quote from: Habbaku on October 17, 2013, 12:44:18 PM
And we say Raz is the one that's insane?
Well, he did offer to light Ide on fire.
Though in general I'd consider Siege the craziest dude on the forum.
Quote from: Habbaku on October 17, 2013, 12:44:18 PM
And we say Raz is the one that's insane?
He's just evil.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on October 17, 2013, 12:47:06 PM
Quote from: Habbaku on October 17, 2013, 12:44:18 PM
And we say Raz is the one that's insane?
Well, he did offer to light Ide on fire.
Though in general I'd consider Siege the craziest dude on the forum.
The difference is that Siege lights guys like Ide on fire by way of an occupation. ;)
Quote from: merithyn on October 16, 2013, 08:35:23 AM
I'm still chuckling over the idea that derspeiss will meet a female god when/if he goes to heaven, and it, of course, has me thinking.
WHERE ARE YOUR WHORE PILLS NOW
There are no whore pills in heaven :)
Quote from: derspiess on October 17, 2013, 02:27:40 PM
There are no whore pills in heaven :)
There is no need, I hear it is populated only by virgins
I'm going to Valhalla. Unless I die in bed of course.
I wonder if God has big boobs. :hmm:
Quote from: The Brain on October 17, 2013, 02:49:54 PM
I'm going to Valhalla. Unless I die in bed of course.
Not valorous enough. If you really wanted to get to Valhalla, you'd go all Breivik on some anti-nuke Swedes or something.
Quote from: Neil on October 17, 2013, 05:19:58 PM
Quote from: The Brain on October 17, 2013, 02:49:54 PM
I'm going to Valhalla. Unless I die in bed of course.
Not valorous enough. If you really wanted to get to Valhalla, you'd go all Breivik on some anti-nuke Swedes or something.
I have yet to decide on a spree.
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 17, 2013, 05:14:45 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 17, 2013, 02:29:00 PM
There is no need, I hear it is populated only by virgins
:mmm:
Yeah, my idea of heaven is somebody that hasn't learned how to give a decent blow job.
You'll learn quickly. Do they let blacks into heaven btw?
Of course they do, silly.
Quote from: fhdz on October 17, 2013, 08:56:42 AM
In heaven:
The police are British, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the lovers are French, and everything is organized by the Swiss.
In hell:
The police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.
You mis-stated the joke, slightly. It's not "everything is organized by," it's "the bankers are..."
Do you know a version that includes Sumerians and Hittites? :)
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on October 18, 2013, 06:35:49 AM
Do you know a version that includes Sumerians and Hittites? :)
No. Go ahead and tell it, if you remember how to translate it from your mother tongue. :)
Sumerian, hell, damned near killed 'em!
In hell, the bosses are Egyptians, the lovers are Hittites and the soldiers are Sumerian.
In heaven, the bosses are Hebrew, the lovers are Hebrew and the soldiers are Hebrew.
If memory serves... :sleep:
:lol:
I thought this thread was about the Republic of Heaven attacking the Manticoran Kingdom.
Just so you know, Heaven and Manticore are now allies against the Solarian League and the Mesan Alignment.
Quote from: Siege on October 24, 2013, 09:50:50 AM
I thought this thread was about the Republic of Heaven attacking the Manticoran Kingdom.
Just so you know, Heaven and Manticore are now allies against the Solarian League and the Mesan Alignment.
Good to know, Seige.
Good. To. Know.
What? Whatever happens in the Honorverse is very important.
It is the best story about how humankind would have expanded across the stars without the Technological Singularity.
Of course, the singularity will happen long before we make it to the stars, which means we are not going to colonize any planets.
A post-singularity civilization needs no colonies, and very little natural resources.
We might still explore the Galaxy, but it will be for the sake of exploration and knowledge, not looking for colonies or resources.
Is the singularity the same thing as the Rapture? :hmm:
David Weber is a hack.
I achieved singularity a long time ago.
Quote from: The Brain on October 24, 2013, 02:03:44 PM
I achieved singularity a long time ago.
Now that's a good line
Singular people crave duality even if they're not willing to admit it.