Korea- Too boring

[jimmy olsen]

[Ideologue]

Ok, you basically got this job in the bag. They creamed their panties when they saw your degree. I specifically told them it was equivalent to a masters but they see only the word doctris.

I didn't spell it doctris, did I?  In any event, I told you, Asians don't know.   Also, take that Barrister Boy.  All you've got is a lousy LL.B.  I have a J.D.

Does this mean the J.D. is: versatile?  I'll have to take back some things I said on JDU.

Now you will have to do several specific things that will cost a couple of hundred dollars to get the job.

First get a regular passport book and expedite it.

Expedited?  Ah, man, that's like eight hours' work.  That's my whole day tomorrow, less cigarettes.

OH: are cigarettes available in Korea; not going if not so.

If you don't have a current (last six months) FBI check send away for one immediately.

Damn, I just paid for a background check about a month ago that I believe has an FBI check as a component, but had it sent to the bar (perhaps I should have done that last).  I could see if I can have it apostilled or whatever.

Also, you're going to have to go here and sign up for the online 100 hr course. They give you a shit ton of material to download and let you take an online test which you have 24 hours (from a time of your choosing) to complete open book. Depending on how much grammar you remember from school it may take all that time... It's seriously long though, even if you remember everything from school it'll take you a long time.

http://www.tesolonline.com/online-tesol-courses/

Easy.  I know how to use the English subjunctive.  And when to use "whom."  And what a gerund is.  None of which is at all important for learning English, and Noam Chomsky will tell you so, but if they think it's important, good.

You also have to make copies of stuff like you degree and get those apostiled.

I have a sealed transcript from USC, an unsealed transcript from Lander, and my degrees are sitting on my table, where my cats use them as beds.

You have to get the FBI check apostiled as well. Be sure to note that you need that done when you get the FBI check. They won't do it themselves, but they will give you a background check that can then be apostiled by the state department.

Are you willing to these things?

Yes.

I will also note that despite their enthusiasm, given how long it takes an FBI check they may still say no, however the above costs will not be wasted for doing the above things will guarantee you a job in Korea or China within a month.

Neat.  Also, it's required for a lot of stuff here.  I mean, do they want a character affidavit?  Got it.  Do they want a driving record?  Got it.  Do they want certed copies of my various misdemeanors?  Got it.

P.S. did you mention I had a mild criminal record?
P.P.S.: does the FBI check have a cutoff date?  Is it lifetime?  Is it adulthood?  Because the biggest issue (arguably) is actually logged under "juvenile," even though it was not a juvenile proceeding (at least so far as I remember, it was a decade and a half ago).
P.P.P.S.: you forgot the most important part.  Transoceanic cat transport, or semi-permanent cat accommodation here.  Current plan is to pay my sister, or Korea ( ), or a friend to take care of them, preferably without splitting them.  What do you guys think is a fair price for the three?  $100/month?  Less?  More?  They cost about $50, I guess.

[Ideologue]

Haven't we already read about Ide's adventures in Korea?  'My cock is the 4th Panzer Army', and so forth?

Well yes of course, and that is exactly the point. I'm looking forward to how Ide's imaginary Korea (the place, not the person) plays out when exposed to the real one.

I have no preconceptions, really, except the parents are mean and push their kids too hard, and they like Starcraft.

[Josquius]

Whats with those things? This past week they're suddenly absolutely everywhere.

[Ideologue]

Haven't we already read about Ide's adventures in Korea?  'My cock is the 4th Panzer Army', and so forth?

It strikes me that 4th Panzer Army was an odd choice, seeing that it was trapped/defeated/destroyed in the end...

Perhaps a prophetic choice?

I think you guys are forgetting the actual content of that story.  I mean, it was actually a pretty fun memory, but it was like the perfect storm of deflowerings.  I wound up injured, having to wash hotel sheets, and technically I don't think we actually fucked till the next day (although I did get a nice blowjob).

[Ideologue]

Hey, also, Tim?

[Tonitrus]

Whats with those things? This past week they're suddenly absolutely everywhere.

I believe it's the latest Facebook meme.

[jimmy olsen]

Expedited?  Ah, man, that's like eight hours' work.  That's my whole day tomorrow, less cigarettes.

OH: are cigarettes available in Korea; not going if not so.

Koreans smoke like it's still 1945.

Damn, I just paid for a background check about a month ago that I believe has an FBI check as a component, but had it sent to the bar (perhaps I should have done that last).  I could see if I can have it apostilled or whatever.

It may have an FBI competent, but unless it clearly says FBI on it with their seal I'm pretty sure they won't accept it.

http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/background-checks

Be sure to read FAQ #9.
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/background-checks/faqs

Once you get the FBI check you're gonna have to Fed EX it to a courier service in DC and have them bring it personally to the State Department to have it appostiled since it's a federal document.

I have a sealed transcript from USC, an unsealed transcript from Lander, and my degrees are sitting on my table, where my cats use them as beds.

Not sure if the transcripts have to be sealed, but you might want to get that just in case. Photocopy the degrees and bring them down to the NC department of state and have them apostilled.

Neat.  Also, it's required for a lot of stuff here.  I mean, do they want a character affidavit?  Got it.  Do they want a driving record?  Got it.  Do they want certed copies of my various misdemeanors?  Got it.

Character affidavit? Maybe, they might want job recommendations from previous employers, but since you haven't worked as a teacher maybe not. I'll ask. As long as you have a valid license you'll be fine.

P.S. did you mention I had a mild criminal record?
P.P.S.: does the FBI check have a cutoff date?  Is it lifetime?  Is it adulthood?  Because the biggest issue (arguably) is actually logged under "juvenile," even though it was not a juvenile proceeding (at least so far as I remember, it was a decade and a half ago).
P.P.P.S.: you forgot the most important part.  Transoceanic cat transport, or semi-permanent cat accommodation here.  Current plan is to pay my sister, or Korea ( ), or a friend to take care of them, preferably without splitting them.  What do you guys think is a fair price for the three?  $100/month?  Less?  More?  They cost about $50, I guess.

Of course not, anything that's on your record that they object to happened before I met you and I'm SHOCKED, SHOCKED & APPALLED to find out about it.

No idea, assume it will show up until you have the check in front of you without it mentioning it. As long as it's not a felony (is it a felony?) you'll probably be fine. Was it DUI? They don't like that either.

[Razgovory]

So is Ide going to be the next member of Languish sent to East Asia?  When is this going to end?  When we are all over there?

[Ideologue]

DUI.  They don't like it?  Hell, I'm not a fan.  But at this point I've stopped mentioning it even on state government applications that ask for your criminal record without limitation, because it's simply unfair, and, after investigating the matter myself, appears almost unreachable unless it's already in an FBI database (it is not in a South Carolina database), or you know exactly what you're looking for, can physically visit a city courthouse, are willing to spend an hour with the clerk going through old logs, and don't mind invading someone's juvenile arrest record, which I'm not 100% sure, but I believe they should have ID'd me before confirming it existed (maybe Ed will tell me differently; I'm rather curious).

It may have an FBI competent, but unless it clearly says FBI on it with their seal I'm pretty sure they won't accept it.

Well, I think it's worth calling up the company and asking.

Character affidavit?

Just joking about bar app requirements.  You need eight references--five can't be fellow law students or professors (which is a pain in the ass if you've lost touch with your rowdy friends), and the remaining three must be notarized affidavits swearing that the affiant believes you to be of good character.  My clinical instructor just wrote down "I know of no reason why Hunter should not be admitted to the bar."  Ringing endorsement.  Granted, I did catch him right before his class.

[HisMajestyBOB]

So is Ide going to be the next member of Languish sent to East Asia?  When is this going to end?  When we are all over there?

How many of us are already over here? I went Korea->China, Tyr's in Japan, Tim's in Korea and Ide will join him soon (hopefully)... anyone else? Is Pitiful Pathos still over in Asia?

[Ideologue]

In ten years, Monoriu's going to come to America to teach Cantonese as a Second Language.

[HisMajestyBOB]

In ten years, Monoriu's going to come to America to teach Cantonese as a Second Language.

Doesn't Cantonese have even more tones than Mandarin? 
I'd rather force everyone in China to learn Korean, and then have people teach that abroad.
It's easier, and K-Pop =

[Eddie Teach]

In ten years, Monoriu's going to come to America to teach Cantonese as a Second Language.

He would never teach uncivilized people his tongue. 

[Razgovory]

So is Ide going to be the next member of Languish sent to East Asia?  When is this going to end?  When we are all over there?

How many of us are already over here? I went Korea->China, Tyr's in Japan, Tim's in Korea and Ide will join him soon (hopefully)... anyone else? Is Pitiful Pathos still over in Asia?

You people are monsters!  You are trying to settle Languish member in Asia!  When will it end?  CdM in the PRC with a wife a kid and a party membership?