My first car accident

[Capetan Mihali]

One time I hit a car but it turned out to be driven by (probably) illegal immigrants.  Score!

Really minor damage, anyway.

My summer roommate in Knoxville said the shakedown in his hometown (Morristown, Tenn.) was to demand immediate cash payment from immigration-status-uncertain individuals even for minor damage, in return for not calling the cops. 

[Neil]

One time I hit a car but it turned out to be driven by (probably) illegal immigrants.  Score!

Really minor damage, anyway.

My summer roommate in Knoxville said the shakedown in his hometown (Morristown, Tenn.) was to demand immediate cash payment from immigration-status-uncertain individuals even for minor damage, in return for not calling the cops.

That sounds fair.

[Ideologue]

One time I hit a car but it turned out to be driven by (probably) illegal immigrants.  Score!

Really minor damage, anyway.

My summer roommate in Knoxville said the shakedown in his hometown (Morristown, Tenn.) was to demand immediate cash payment from immigration-status-uncertain individuals even for minor damage, in return for not calling the cops.

Wow, that's fucked up.  See, I like to keep my exploitation minimal.  Take only pictures, leave only DNA samples.

[Scipio]

Go on, elaborate.  Obviously I'm interested in a post-mortem, because this situation should have never gotten to this point.

Well, you still don't have a police report; you've been threatened by some dago, and you're insured by GEICO.  BTW, GEICO would have gotten your police report.

[Razgovory]

How old is this daughter?

Turns out she's 26.  She looked younger than that.  Kinda surprising she's still living with her parents and has her parents deal with her mess, but then again, they are Italian.

See this could have become one of those sexy romantic comedy thingies, and you screwed it up.

[CountDeMoney]

Go on, elaborate.  Obviously I'm interested in a post-mortem, because this situation should have never gotten to this point.

Well, you still don't have a police report; you've been threatened by some dago, and you're insured by GEICO.  BTW, GEICO would have gotten your police report.

Let's face the harsh reality:  weeks from now, this'll all end with DGuller cutting them a check instead.

[Admiral Yi]

Let's face the harsh reality:  weeks from now, this'll all end with DGuller cutting them a check instead.

Only if Tony pulls out the bolt cutter.

[DGuller]

Go on, elaborate.  Obviously I'm interested in a post-mortem, because this situation should have never gotten to this point.

Well, you still don't have a police report; you've been threatened by some dago, and you're insured by GEICO.  BTW, GEICO would have gotten your police report.

Let's face the harsh reality:  weeks from now, this'll all end with DGuller cutting them a check instead.

  How's that even possible?  AFAIK, once insurance gets involved, it can't get uninvolved.  Unless Fat Tony puts my head in the vice and asks to write out a check, I don't see how even me being a total pussy would lead to writing a check.

[Neil]

He'll convince you to say that you lied and that you backed into his daughter, and then they'll sue you for 'whiplash'.

[DGuller]

GEICO looked at my car, and it may actually turn out that the repairs would be more extensive than my original estimate assumed.  They won't know until they take the bumper off, but they said that energy absorbent material behind the bumper might be damaged as well.  They also want to replace the entire bumper, rather than just part of it like my first estimate guy, which is going to be much more expensive.  It's possible I may have dodged a bullet, at least in the financial sense.

[DGuller]

Got a call from the GEICO claims adjuster, and the final damage is $830.  Turns out the first estimate I got was right on, and I wasn't being ripped off. 

That actually makes me feel better.  If I got a $300 estimate from GEICO, the nutty family would be just a little justified in their response (up until the physical threat part anyway).

[DGuller]

Got my car back just now.  It looks like the body shop did a really good job, though I guess you never know until you put some miles on it.  They even fixed the damage from a prior parking mishap, even though I specifically pointed out that it was a prior damage, to avoid any unintentional insurance fraud.

[HVC]

You still haven't woken up next to a severed horse head?

[DGuller]

No, I don't keep any kinds of severed heads in my bed, that's unsanitary.

[DGuller]

  For fuck's sake, this isn't funny. 

I was getting onto BQE in Brooklyn, and just as I sped up to full speed from the ramp, I hit a pothole big time.  I could immediately tell from the subtle cues in the steering wheel that something got knackered.  Sure enough, low tire sensor came on.  I guess that was the cheapest part that I could've broken.

Unfortunately, I picked the worst place to pop a tire.  BQE has 60 mph traffic, and no shoulder.  I limped along for a couple of miles with my hazards on, trying to look for any place to stop and take a look.  Finally I found just enough space on the exit 24 to Prospect Expressway, fitting in inside the fork between the construction cones.  I knew that both BQE and Prospect Expressway have no good places to stop for at least a couple of more miles, so that was the best I could do.

I get out, and sure enough, my left front tire is totally flat.  I call 911, since I was still in a very dangerous location, and a tow truck came.  It would cost $80 to tow me away from the exit, and $50 more to change the tire.  I wasn't going to learn how to change the tire myself at 10 pm in a seedy part of Brooklyn, so that was my only choice.  The kicker was that I had to pay cash.

As luck would have it, I was driving to a poker game, so I actually did have that much cash on me, and that would be the only time I would have that much cash.  I guess I have to be lucky sometime.  The tow truck drives me away to a safe location, and the guy puts on my spare.  I get to my poker game an hour and fifteen minutes late.

I guess poker gods thought I had enough torment for tonight.  I was running really well and made good decisions, and wound up winning $800, so I guess I came out ahead for the night, even after factoring in the cost of the new tire I would have to get tomorrow.  But, still, enough of the shit with the car, this is getting old.