The Off Topic Topic

[Josquius]

Average annual population change in Europe, 2001 - 2011:

I don't like the dates.
It would be interesting to see one to 2008 then one afterwards.
Ireland-

[Syt]

German President Gauck gifted this painting to Elizabeth II. It shows the Lizzie as young princess on a horse.



The painter Nicole Leidenfrost sees herself to work in the tradition of Franz Marc.

An example of a blue horse by Marc:

[Admiral Yi]

John Steed just croaked.

He had been an American citizen since 1958.

[jimmy olsen]

Merkel speaking English. I can't remember ever hearing her speak another language than German before.
http://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2015/jun/24/angela-merkel-queen-elizabeth-ii-tour-german-chancellery-video

She's fluent in Russian isn't she?

Didn't realize she knew English as well.

[jimmy olsen]

Meryl Lynch one is the best. 

A HERD OF COWS.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

MERRIL LYNCH CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
You don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

[Josquius]

One or two are original and good. Though to correct one

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You invest huge sums redesigning them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
The Koreans then copy your design and sell it for half the price.
Soon you will have no cows.

[Liep]

11 sneezes in a row, I feel completely incapacitated. Fuck grass.

[Liep]

So the "ISIS" attack on a French factory is just a lone nutter? Or is there reason to fear another semi-coordinated attack?

[Duque de Bragança]

Seems to be a lone nutter according to French media reports.

http://www.lefigaro.fr/actualite-france/2015/06/26/01016-20150626LIVWWW00104-direct-attentat-isere.php

[Liep]

My new favourite radio show just ended with the host having a heart attack on air. Now a programme about masturbation started to fill out the dead air.

I should mention that it's topical satire about the EU.

[Duque de Bragança]

Average annual population change in Europe, 2001 - 2011:

Yes...yes...soon all Europeans will be French.

I can spot Bragança thanks to the very light pink small spot in NE Portugal.

[Liep]

Traditionally when high school is over all the graduated students ride around on a big truck visiting the parents of each student in the class. It's an all day event and very entertaining.

When I was on this with my class the most sought after at a new house was beer and salty food.

Now, according to parents turning to twitter, it's:



Kudos to those parents though for assembling that, even if there's way too many old iPhone plugs for the affluent students of today.

[Admiral Yi]

 

[MadImmortalMan]

I think I like the Norwegian party bus idea better. Why would you want to visit everyone's parents?

[Valmy]

I think I like the Norwegian party bus idea better. Why would you want to visit everyone's parents?

So they can give you stuff?