The Off Topic Topic

[Josquius]

The most Scottish story ever. The url says all you need to know....

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/crime/edinburgh-woman-bit-off-mans-tongue-in-street-brawl-before-seagull-swooped-down-and-ate-it-3141625

[Malthus]

The most Scottish story ever. The url says all you need to know....

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/crime/edinburgh-woman-bit-off-mans-tongue-in-street-brawl-before-seagull-swooped-down-and-ate-it-3141625

Reminds me of a story from law school, about the perils of asking one too many questions on a cross-examination.

Guy was arrested for biting off the nose of another guy in a brawl outside a bar. The witness to this event basically said "I saw that guy bite the nose off the other fellow" in direct. Then the defence lawyer started cross-examining him. He gets the witness to admit it was dark out at the time, that he was fifty feet away when the brawl was being fought, and that the witness usually wore glasses, but didn't have them on that night ... at which point he ought to have stopped.

However, he could not resist asking one last question: "so it was dark, you were far away, and you weren't wearing your glasses - how, then, can you say my client bit the nose off the other guy?

Answer: "well, as he walked past me after the fight, he spat the nose onto my boot ...".

[crazy canuck]

Best example of the disastrous extra question was a criminal rape trial I saw when clerking;

Defence counsel to victim:  So lets just confirm your evidence.  You didn't tell your parents this had happened

No sir

You didn't tell your boyfriend

No sir

You didn't tell your friends

No sir

That is correct.



And now wait for it......

If it this was as traumatic as you say, and this was not consensual sex, why did you tell no one.

Answer:  Because he told me if I did, he would kill me and the person I told. 

Evidence that was not known by anyone up to that point and would not have entered the record if that last question had not been asked.

[ulmont]

He gets the witness to admit it was dark out at the time, that he was fifty feet away when the brawl was being fought, and that the witness usually wore glasses, but didn't have them on that night ... at which point he ought to have stopped.

However, he could not resist asking one last question: "so it was dark, you were far away, and you weren't wearing your glasses - how, then, can you say my client bit the nose off the other guy?

Answer: "well, as he walked past me after the fight, he spat the nose onto my boot ...".

...yeah, but that was coming out on redirect anyway.

[Barrister]

Examination on a preliminary inquiry in Whitehorse, Yukon.  Defence did a great job in getting the witness to admit they had not, in fact, written their own witness statement.  It had been written by his girlfriend.

Then the final question of "so why did you get your girlfriend to write your statement you"?

"Well she has better writing than I do".

Nowhere near as profound as spitting out someone's nose, but just instantly undid the last several minutes of cross-examination.

[Admiral Yi]

Just learned from The Economist that Scandinavian languages have no word for please.

[Eddie Teach]

Vikings don't ask, they just take.

[Threviel]

We just use different words in different contexts. "Would you be so kind as to pass the salt?", "One coffee thanks." and so on.

[The Brain]

We also have no really good words equivalent to English "Sir" or "Master". I mean there are words, but they are a bit meh.

[celedhring]

Which ones are those? Let us be the judge of that.

[The Brain]

Which ones are those? Let us be the judge of that.

"Herre", "herrn", "mästare", "mäster", "husbonn", "<academic/professional title>"... As you see they are a bit awkward and/or unwieldy.

[Threviel]

Isn't that a rest of the old weird unwieldy polite way of talking? No use of a general Sir since you weren't supposed to talk to anyone without using their proper title. And the old rank table to see who was on top socially.

[The Brain]

Isn't that a rest of the old weird unwieldy polite way of talking? No use of a general Sir since you weren't supposed to talk to anyone without using their proper title. And the old rank table to see who was on top socially.

Indeed.

[Josquius]

Many years in tech.
I've searched for this countless and read many pieces on it.
I've talked to people in the role.
I still can figure out what dev ops do

[Eddie Teach]

Which ones are those? Let us be the judge of that.

"Herre", "herrn", "mästare", "mäster", "husbonn", "<academic/professional title>"... As you see they are a bit awkward and/or unwieldy.

Why is master with funny letters not a good equivalent?