The Off Topic Topic

[garbon]

The complaints I have come across are:

• An increasing number of scammers / insta-follower marketers in the ecosystems.
• Algorithm and interface changes to manipulate potential matches / selections in support of various monetization strategies.
• The proliferation of optimizing strategies among the userbase that may improve individual odds, but changes the overall experience for the worse in aggregate (swiping yes on everyone, ghosting as a standard behaviour).

... now this isn't based on personal experience. I barely used app based dating back then (though I did meet one GF via Facebook), and I haven't been on the dating market for years and years.

Got it. 1 and 2 are definitely changes and in fact, I recall hearing with Tinder that you basically had to opt into the paid version and still wasn't great from some single female friends.

Item 3 - well the behaviour of yes to everyone and ghosting, I think that is just part of the experience. I used to cast my net wide.

[Grey Fox]

Are dating app subjects to the same monetization's that is ruining the more standard social media applications?

[crazy canuck]

I wonder if this is a straight vs gay difference as I've several friends from online dates that didn't pan out.

It's an interesting question.  Could also be a generational thing? 

[Jacob]

Item 3 - well the behaviour of yes to everyone and ghosting, I think that is just part of the experience. I used to cast my net wide.

For sure, some folks always did it. I think that maybe those strategies have become more widespread to the point of being the default now. That's only speculation, though.

[Josquius]

I "met" my girlfriend on tinder.
Though it was a typical thing where a few lines are exchanged then nothing more.
I subsequently met her in meat space completely unrelated to that.

I found with the apps it's your city that makes all the difference. When I was in Warsaw for a fortnight I had so much more luck than a year in laussanne. That place was a dead zone.

Swiping yes to everyone then deciding later is definitely a thing. I believe they started punsihing men for doing this with limited swipes, making them appear less, and so on.

As said I welcome the death of these apps. But I do question how this jives with less drinking. Just how do o people meet and hook up if not at the pub.

[Tamas]

Are the complaints specific for Tinder or in general?

[Jacob]

Are the complaints specific for Tinder or in general?

From what I understand, it's fairly generalized across a number of apps.

[Maladict]

Datings apps have been pretty good to me. I found paying for a dating app dramatically raises the odds for finding people who are more serious about it. And I guess the introvert in me quite preferred testing the waters through written messages over having to go to bars and such.

[The Brain]

Online dating worked great back when I was dating. Never tried Tinder though.

[Josquius]

Datings apps have been pretty good to me. I found paying for a dating app dramatically raises the odds for finding people who are more serious about it. And I guess the introvert in me quite preferred testing the waters through written messages over having to go to bars and such.

The introvert in me on the other hand hates having to make text conversation with someone where there's a clear mission of trying to feel each other out for adult events.
Much prefer casually meeting people with no pressure and Dutch courage to hand.

[Barrister]

Datings apps have been pretty good to me. I found paying for a dating app dramatically raises the odds for finding people who are more serious about it. And I guess the introvert in me quite preferred testing the waters through written messages over having to go to bars and such.

The introvert in me on the other hand hates having to make text conversation with someone where there's a clear mission of trying to feel each other out for adult events.
Much prefer casually meeting people with no pressure and Dutch courage to hand.

So the advantage I found for online dating was that women had already pre-selected themselves as being someone open to being asked out.  They might not want to go out with me, but there was no chance of them saying "no thanks, I have a boyfriend".

That being said you definitely wanted to move onto meeting in person pretty quickly, and not just staying in electronic limbo.

That being said for me that was all pre-smartphones, so there was no "swiping right", and no chance of getting stuck in endless text conversations.

[crazy canuck]

I "met" my girlfriend on tinder.
Though it was a typical thing where a few lines are exchanged then nothing more.
I subsequently met her in meat space completely unrelated to that.

I found with the apps it's your city that makes all the difference. When I was in Warsaw for a fortnight I had so much more luck than a year in laussanne. That place was a dead zone.

Swiping yes to everyone then deciding later is definitely a thing. I believe they started punsihing men for doing this with limited swipes, making them appear less, and so on.

As said I welcome the death of these apps. But I do question how this jives with less drinking. Just how do o people meet and hook up if not at the pub.

So Butcher shops are the way to go?

[Barrister]

One more thing on online dating (from my experience) - so the now-Mrs-Barrister was someone who worked in a related field, and someone I would have eventually wound up meeting in real life.  But if I had met her in a purely professional context I never, ever would have thought to ask her out (despite finding her attractive) because of the risk of seeming wildly unprofessional

Months after we started dating, my then-girlfriend was a witness on one of my trials (she worked as a peace officer).  I didn't think anything of it but mentioned it to my supervisor was horrified and insisted on coming to conduct the trial personally.  So I never did get the opportunity to question my future wife under oath...

[Syt]

Here's something to live in your brain a bit about Ric Flair:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ric_Flair

He was adopted by Kathleen Kinsmiller Fliehr (1918–2003) and Richard Reid Fliehr (1918–2000). The Fliehrs decided to adopt due to Kathleen being unable to become pregnant after giving birth to a daughter who died shortly after.[14] At the time of his adoption (arranged by the Tennessee Children's Home Society as part of Georgia Tann's baby-kidnapping operation)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_Tann

The all-female staff wore all-white nursing uniforms, despite the fact that they were mostly untrained and even substance abusers.[33] The children were frequently sedated and those who were difficult to place were allowed to die of malnutrition.[33] Tann regularly ignored doctors' recommendations for sick children, denying them care or medicine, which often led to preventable deaths from illnesses such as diarrhea.[10] While some of her victims are known to be buried in Elmwood Cemetery in Memphis, Tennessee,[18] other children were never accounted for, and the exact number of deceased children remains unknown, with estimates of about 500 deaths due to mistreatment.[34][14]

[...]

Tann is estimated to have stolen over 5,000 children.[37] New York and California vowed to take action, but the children's adoptions were never investigated, and no children were restored.[38] Tann died of uterine cancer three days before the state filed charges against the society, thus escaping prosecution.[10] For her part, Judge Kelley was believed to be receiving bribes for ruling in Tann's favor; however, a 1951 report to Browning by the Tennessee Department of Public Welfare said that while she had "failed on many occasions to aid destitute families and permitted family ties to be destroyed" she had not personally profited from the rulings.[10] She resigned shortly after the start of the investigation, and died in 1955 without any charges having been brought against her.[10]

Also:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_farming

Particularly in the case of lump-sum adoptions, it was more profitable for the baby farmer if the infant or child she adopted died, since the small payment could not cover the care of the child for long. Some baby farmers adopted numerous children and then neglected them or murdered them outright (see infanticide). Several were tried for murder, manslaughter, or criminal neglect and were hanged. Margaret Waters (executed 1870) and Amelia Dyer (executed 1896) were two infamous British baby farmers, as were Amelia Sach and Annie Walters (executed 1903).[2] The last baby farmer to be executed in Britain was Rhoda Willis, who was hanged in Wales in 1907.

Isn't history fun? 

[The Brain]

Is performing the hanging in Wales reserved for the most heinous crimes?