Staind singer stops concert to demand audience members stop ‘molesting’ teen

[Valmy]

Queefing is caused by spaghetti straps?

See this is what the sad state of American Sex education has reduced us to 

[Valmy]

What the hell was the #yesallwomen thing anyway?  It was all over twitter a week or so ago.

There are worldwide movements meant to bring on these kinds of discussions. Movements like #YesAllWoman, which means that yes, all women have been harassed or sexually demeaned at some point in their lives because of their gender. There is not a single woman that I have met who hasn't had to adjust something she's done to protect herself simply because she's female. Something that a man wouldn't even think about, but all women have to, like never walking away from a drink at the bar and then coming back to it.

That is not terribly surprising.  I have had obscene stuff yelled at me by women, been randomly propositioned, and grabbed before.  But, you know, drunk people.  Also not really very scary for men....well scary but not in a fear for my safety sort of way.  Now the fear about being drugged thing, that is pretty fucked. 

[derspiess]

Queefing is caused by spaghetti straps?

See this is what the sad state of American Sex education has reduced us to 

No, bus sex you goof.

[Ideologue]

Have they at least realized that there were 4 guys killed?

Well he did declare he was going to shoot women for not giving him the sex he was entitled to and then he shot down four men.  I can only assume his mental illness made it difficult to determine gender at a distance.

Yeah, I think given his stated motives, it's a pretty poor platform to stand on.

That is not terribly surprising.  I have had obscene stuff yelled at me by women, been randomly propositioned, and grabbed before.  But, you know, drunk people.  Also not really very scary for men....well scary but not in a fear for my safety sort of way.

I've been sexually harassed semi-seriously at the gay bar in Columbia.  I found it more obnoxious than anything, though if it hadn't been a dude smaller than me and a bit grabbier, it would've generated a meaner response, despite the fact you don't really want to be the straight guy berating (or hitting) a gay guy in a crowd of gay men.

Overall, I got a real sense of what I'd be like if were a woman--it's actually tremendously validating for a few minutes but from someone you don't have any interest in, it becomes almost immediately tiresome.

[Ed Anger]

Meri: THIS IS WHAT SPAGHETTI STRAPS LEAD TO

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex-on-school-bus-guilty-plea-576324

#Misandry

[Camerus]

I didn't say we couldn't. I said that the balance right now is on teaching girls how to avoid rape rather than on teaching boys (and girls) what rape, harassment, and unwanted assault is.

That would definitely be worrisome if that were the case.  What evidence gives you the impression that it is?

Well, having had discussions with my children going through the public school systems, the topic of what constitutes rape is barely touched on in Health and Sex Ed classes. However, how girls should avoid being raped is a common discussion throughout school Health classes starting in the 8th grade. Dress codes exist only for girls (shorts fingertip length, straps two-finger width, etc) to avoid "distracting" boys in the classroom. (That is the exact reason given for the dress codes. As if boys are incapable of controlling their urges when a girl in a short skirt walks into the room, therefore it's the girl's responsibility.)

This is a common discussion among many of my friends from around the US. The lessons learned are that a girl's job is to do everything in her power to avoid being raped, because boys will be boys and you can't count on them to do the right thing. That is the focus.

There are worldwide movements meant to bring on these kinds of discussions. Movements like #YesAllWoman, which means that yes, all women have been harassed or sexually demeaned at some point in their lives because of their gender. There is not a single woman that I have met who hasn't had to adjust something she's done to protect herself simply because she's female. Something that a man wouldn't even think about, but all women have to, like never walking away from a drink at the bar and then coming back to it.

Do I have statistics to back this up? No, I'm sorry; I don't.

Interesting.  Thanks for sharing your perspective.   

[derspiess]

#Yesallmen #SaveOurTesticles

[Valmy]

That is not terribly surprising.  I have had obscene stuff yelled at me by women, been randomly propositioned, and grabbed before.  But, you know, drunk people.  Also not really very scary for men....well scary but not in a fear for my safety sort of way.  Now the fear about being drugged thing, that is pretty fucked. 

Let me state this better.  This is not surprising since even I have had those things happen to me.  But for me they were bizarre anecdotes.  It is a little unusual for women to cat call men.  So, given that, it would be surprising for any woman to have gone through her entire life and never had something like that happen.  The protect yourself thing is more scary and that is the part that is more female only unless you are in an environment like prison where men prey on men.

[Ed Anger]

#Yesallmen #SaveOurTesticles

Oppressor!

[dps]

And the problem is that the rapists are often flawed human beings who fucked up and not necessarily bad guys.  Then there is this weird cultural dynamic where somehow they get seen as the victims here.  That is fucked. 

If you're going to look at them as flawed human being who fucked up and not as bad guys, then then of course there's going to be a tendency to see them as, well, maybe not victims, but in a somewhat sympathetic light.  And I say fuck that.  I don't have any sympathy for rapists and other sexual predators.

All of us have made mistakes and done stupid and sometimes even awful things.  God knows I have.  But most of us have never raped anybody.  I hope most of us haven't, anyway.  At least, I know I haven't.

I guess I like to think we are not subhuman monstrous scum by and large.

By and large, no, we're not.  But some men are.  Why is it so horrible to explain to young women that they should take reasonable measures to protect themselves against the monsters?

I think people should expect that if a woman wears a tight skirt dudes can act appropriately.  If he does not than that is on him.

Well, yeah.   Most guys will act appropriately, and those that don't deserve to be punished by the legal system.  Is it unfortunate that women have reason to worry that some men won't behave appropriately?  Sure.  Should women who make poor decisions and get victimized be punished by the legal system?  Of course not.  Or should the fact that a woman who was victimized had made poor decisions be a mitigating circumstance in the sentence given to the man who victimized her.  Absolutely not. 

[Malthus]

Have they at least realized that there were 4 guys killed?

Well he did declare he was going to shoot women for not giving him the sex he was entitled to and then he shot down four men.  I can only assume his mental illness made it difficult to determine gender at a distance.

Actually ... if you read his "manifesto", his announced intention was to kill everyone, men and women alike. He also announced he was, in essence, a god, and that his killing spree would make him even more god-like.

In short ... nuttier than squirrel shit.

[Ed Anger]

BUT BUT BUT.... misyogny!

#WomenNeedToShutUp

[merithyn]

If you're going to look at them as flawed human being who fucked up and not as bad guys, then then of course there's going to be a tendency to see them as, well, maybe not victims, but in a somewhat sympathetic light.  And I say fuck that.  I don't have any sympathy for rapists and other sexual predators.

All of us have made mistakes and done stupid and sometimes even awful things.  God knows I have.  But most of us have never raped anybody.  I hope most of us haven't, anyway.  At least, I know I haven't.

By and large, no, we're not.  But some men are.  Why is it so horrible to explain to young women that they should take reasonable measures to protect themselves against the monsters?

Well, yeah.   Most guys will act appropriately, and those that don't deserve to be punished by the legal system.  Is it unfortunate that women have reason to worry that some men won't behave appropriately?  Sure.  Should women who make poor decisions and get victimized be punished by the legal system?  Of course not.  Or should the fact that a woman who was victimized had made poor decisions be a mitigating circumstance in the sentence given to the man who victimized her.  Absolutely not.

Given that 18.3%* of adult women (1 in 5) have been raped at some point in their lives, either there are some very active monsters out there, or more men rape than you think.

CDC says this about perpetrators:

In a nationally representative survey:1

•       Among   female   rape   victims,   perpetrators   were reported   to   be   intimate   partners   (51.1%),   family
members   (12.5%),   acquaintances   (40.8%)   and   strangers   (13.8%).   
•    Among   male   rape   victims,   perpetrators   were reported   to   be   acquaintances   (52.4%)   and   strangers   15.1%).
•    Among   male   victims   who   were   made   to   penetrate    someone   else,   perpetrators   were   reported   to   be intimate   partners   (44.8%),   acquaintances   (44.7%) and   strangers   (8.2%).

*According to the CDC at this link

[derspiess]

I notice Meri is not particularly outraged by the adult female hitting the male child in his genital area and getting away with a slap on the wrist in the link I posted.

[Malthus]

If you're going to look at them as flawed human being who fucked up and not as bad guys, then then of course there's going to be a tendency to see them as, well, maybe not victims, but in a somewhat sympathetic light.  And I say fuck that.  I don't have any sympathy for rapists and other sexual predators.

All of us have made mistakes and done stupid and sometimes even awful things.  God knows I have.  But most of us have never raped anybody.  I hope most of us haven't, anyway.  At least, I know I haven't.

By and large, no, we're not.  But some men are.  Why is it so horrible to explain to young women that they should take reasonable measures to protect themselves against the monsters?

Well, yeah.   Most guys will act appropriately, and those that don't deserve to be punished by the legal system.  Is it unfortunate that women have reason to worry that some men won't behave appropriately?  Sure.  Should women who make poor decisions and get victimized be punished by the legal system?  Of course not.  Or should the fact that a woman who was victimized had made poor decisions be a mitigating circumstance in the sentence given to the man who victimized her.  Absolutely not.

Given that 18.3%* of adult women (1 in 5) have been raped at some point in their lives, either there are some very active monsters out there, or more men rape than you think.

CDC says this about perpetrators:

In a nationally representative survey:1

•       Among   female   rape   victims,   perpetrators   were reported   to   be   intimate   partners   (51.1%),   family
members   (12.5%),   acquaintances   (40.8%)   and   strangers   (13.8%).   
•    Among   male   rape   victims,   perpetrators   were reported   to   be   acquaintances   (52.4%)   and   strangers   15.1%).
•    Among   male   victims   who   were   made   to   penetrate    someone   else,   perpetrators   were   reported   to   be intimate   partners   (44.8%),   acquaintances   (44.7%) and   strangers   (8.2%).

*According to the CDC at this link

According to the same survey, 1 in 20 men were "made to penetrate someone else".  This was really surprising to me. Seems there are monsters on both sides of the equation.