The Off Topic Topic

[CountDeMoney]

They have something for Seedy. USB Typewriter.

I've seen those;  fucking abominations.  Every time some Geektard mods a typewriter, a real one dies.  Motherfuckers.

[CountDeMoney]

It seems that typewriters are coming back with hipsters.  CdM is going to have to bust some heads, lest he be taken for a total asshole.

I've seen the pieces on CBS Sunday Morning, had a piece a few weeks ago on all the fucking hipsters suddenly discovering how "quaint" they are.

Makes me want to stab them with a pencil right through their fucking lensless glasses.  Motherfuckers.

[Syt]

They have something for Seedy. USB Typewriter.

I've seen those;  fucking abominations.  Every time some Geektard mods a typewriter, a real one dies.  Motherfuckers.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/94668126/usb-typewriter-computer-keyboard-royal

and yes, it still writes beautifully on paper

[CountDeMoney]

and yes, it still writes beautifully on paper

And the Frankenstein monster could walk upright.  ITS AN ABOMINATION.

[HVC]

Looks like the average languishite has a greater shot at nailing Charlize Theron then was ever previously thought possible.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2207320/Charlize-Theron-happy-new-man-Eric-Stonestreet-adopted-son-Modern-Family.html

[garbon]

Looks like the average languishite has a greater shot at nailing Charlize Theron then was ever previously thought possible.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2207320/Charlize-Theron-happy-new-man-Eric-Stonestreet-adopted-son-Modern-Family.html

Everything seems to be citing the mail thus far.

[CountDeMoney]

Looks like the average languishite has a greater shot at nailing Charlize Theron then was ever previously thought possible.

Daaaamn.  Way to go, big guy.
Then again, his ex Katherine Tokarz was nothing to sneeze at either.

Just further proof that if you're in the industry, you can score any kind of ass. Don't know what the fuck katmai's waiting for.

[HVC]

Looks like the average languishite has a greater shot at nailing Charlize Theron then was ever previously thought possible.

Daaaamn.  Way to go, big guy.
Then again, his ex Katherine Tokarz was nothing to sneeze at either.

Just further proof that if you're in the industry, you can score any kind of ass. Don't know what the fuck katmai's waiting for.

maybe he's this generations milton berle?

[HVC]

Looks like the average languishite has a greater shot at nailing Charlize Theron then was ever previously thought possible.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2207320/Charlize-Theron-happy-new-man-Eric-Stonestreet-adopted-son-Modern-Family.html

Everything seems to be citing the mail thus far.

i take celebe stuff (what little i read) witha  grain of salt. If it's not fake then it's just leaked by publisits anyway. unless, you know, the actress runs someone over. then that's leaked by the person getting run over

[CountDeMoney]

maybe he's this generations milton berle?

Hung like a blue whale?  Possibly.

[CountDeMoney]

OK, this one's topping my leaderboard for Moron Cop O' The Year

Houston Officer Kills Double Amputee in Wheelchair

A Houston police officer shot and killed a one-armed, one-legged man in a wheelchair Saturday inside a group home after police say the double amputee threatened the officer and aggressively waved a metal object that turned out to be a pen.

Police spokeswoman Jodi Silva said the man cornered the officer in his wheelchair and was making threats while trying to stab the officer with the pen. At the time, the officer did not know what the metal object was that the man was waving, Silva said.

She said the man came "within inches to a foot" of the officer and did not follow instructions to calm down and remain still.

"Fearing for his partner's safety and his own safety, he discharged his weapon," Silva told The Associated Press.

Police did not immediately release the name of the man who was killed. They had been called to the home after a caretaker there called and reported that the man in wheelchair was causing a disturbance.

The owner of the group home, John Garcia, told the Houston Chronicle that the man had a history of mental illness and had been living at the house about 18 months. Garcia said the man had told him that he lost a leg above the knee and all of one arm when he was hit by a train.

"He sometimes would go off a bit, but you just ignore it," Garcia told the newspaper.

Silva identified the officer as Matthew Jacob Marin, a five-year veteran of the department. He was immediately placed on three-day administrative leave, which is standard in all shootings involving officers.

Houston police records indicate that Marin also fatally shot a suspect in 2009. Investigators at the time said Marin came upon a man stabbing his neighbor to death at an apartment complex and opened fired when the suspect refused to drop the knife.

On Saturday, Marin and his partner arrived at the group home around 2:30 a.m. Silva said there were several people at the house at the time. The caretaker who called police waited on the porch while the officers went inside, she said.

"It was close quarters in the area of the house," Silva said. "The officer was forced into an area where he had no way to get out."

I discovered the best way to disarm a wheelchair-bound individual was to dump them out of it, even when they had a weapon.  Never felt threatened enough to shoot one.  But that's just me, I was crazy like that.

[CountDeMoney]

From the "Naughty Schoolgirl Spanking & Completely Inadvertent Yet For Some Reason Mildly Intriguing Erection" Desk

Rather than spend two days in in-school suspension for allegedly letting another student copy her classwork, Taylor Santos, a well-regarded student and athlete at Springtown High School, near Fort Worth, Texas, chose to get paddled.

As her mother, Anna Jorgensen, told ABC News affiliate WFAA-TV in Dallas, Taylor didn't want to miss any classes because "her grades are very important to her."

So Santos went to the vice principal's office to request a paddling. She called her mom, who said that as long as her daughter was OK with it, so was she. According to school policy, parents who don't want their children to subject to corporal punishment must submit a written statement each year.

What neither Jorgenson nor Santos knew was that a man - the vice principal - would be doing the swatting, while a female watched. As far as Jorgensen knew, she said, school policy mandated that males spanked males and females spanked females.

Because of the force with with Santos was struck, her bottom was fire-engine red and looked as if it had been "burned and blistered," said Jorgensen, who took photos as evidence.

While paddling in public schools has been outlawed by 31 states, as well as by Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico, the Supreme Court ruled in 1977 that it was legal unless it has abolished by local authorities, according to the web site Corpun.com.

It is legal in 19 states; efforts to ban it in Wyoming, North Carolina, Louisiana and Texas failed. However, in 2011 laws were introduced in both Texas and North Carolina giving parents the right to exempt their students from paddling.

"A lot of people think it was abolished 20 years ago," Jimmy Dunne, president of People Opposed to Paddling Students (POPS), told ABC News. A former math teacher in the Houston Middle Schools, Dunne founded POPS in 1981 and has been the spanker and spankee. But he refused to participate after noticing that some teachers were "getting sadistic pleasure out of hitting these kids."

He has actively tried to get schools to curb the practice ever since, but he has met with resistance. In June, he appeared at an anti-corporal punishment in schools rally in Washington, D.C., and will be attending a school board meeting on Monday after a 13-year-old student at Barbers Hill Middle School in Houston was covered with welts and bruises after a paddling he received for getting three consecutive zero grades.

"Members of the Texas legislature say, 'I was paddled, and I turned out OK,'" he said. "Or they say they want to leave it up to the local district to decide. They think it's good discipline. But it's legalized child abuse. I always say if this was done away from the school, the person would be arrested."

The day after her daughter's paddling, Jorgensen called the vice principal to complain, but was told it was "normal for her bottom to look like this after receiving swats." The vice principal added that he had no idea about the same gender swatting, Jorgensen said.

Neither Jorgensen, nor the vice principal nor Springtown ISD Superintendent Mike Kelley, was available for comment by ABC News. But according to WFAA, Kelley is going to ask the school board to abolish the same gender policy, since adhering to it can be difficult on some campuses.

Jorgensen told WFAA that she will be at the school board meeting to encourage them not to abolish the same-gender policy.

"I think Taylor is proof that we need to keep that policy," she said. "I don't believe a man intentionally meant to do that to her, but it still happens, because men are too big and strong to be hitting 96-pound girls."

because men are too big and strong to be hitting 96-pound girls."

The hell they aren't.

[CountDeMoney]

And to balance the gender abuse field:

Teacher, 23, jailed after having sex with two of her students and plying them with drugs and alcohol



A teacher who had sex with two of her students and after plying them with drink and drugs has been jailed for two years.

Sarah Rutherford took a plea deal to avoid a lengthier sentence and agreed never to teach in a classroom again.

The 23-year-old had pleaded guilty to one count of misdemeanor battery and two counts of misdemeanor contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

She had been charged with felony sexual abuse and could have been jailed for up to ten years.

Rutherford taught at the Philip Barbour High School in Philippi, West Virginia, when she became involved with two students aged under 18.

Court records show that she gave the teens alcohol and marijuana during their sexual trysts.

The criminal complaint against Rutherford revealed the teacher began text messaging one of the teens and invited him to her home in Barbour County, where they had sex.

Rutherford allegedly became involved with another student younger than 18 by initiating contact with the victim at the school to 'solicit a relationship.'

The criminal complaint said Rutherford and the second victim had daily contact with each other and she gave him alcohol, marijuana and Klonopin at her home.

She also gave the 16-year-old money to buy drugs for her and had sex with him at her home.

'The defendant told the victim not to tell anyone about the sexual intercourse because they could get in trouble since she was a teacher and the victim was a student,' the complaint states.

Rutherford ordered to report to the Tygart Valley Regional Jail on October 1st to begin her sentence.

[The Brain]

What is it with American teachers and being awesome?

[sbr]

What is it with American teachers and being awesome?

It's all the extra money they have lying around, easy to be awesome when people throw handfuls of cash at you everyday.