I'm dedicating a good chunk of the next six months to writing - short stories, probably some screenplays and maybe taking a stab at a novel or two. That's my intention anyhow.
Part of that is getting into self-publishing online, and as it happens my first short story has just become available on Smashwords. Eventually, as the process moves forward it will also appear on Amazon and in the apple store (though you can get kindle, epub and Sony ebook reader versions on Smashwords already).
This first story, Prince Arkenbright and the Forsaken Maid is a fairly light fantasy story which may or may not appeal to anyone here on languish. The next story I'm putting up (just as soon as my friend finishes the cover for me) is a more serious story (still fiction though); it's about Chinese gangsters in Vancover (I've done a bit of research on the subject these last many years).
Here's the cover for the fantasy story:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg40.imageshack.us%2Fimg40%2F9181%2Fpafm300.jpg&hash=ce483c24c4ef39909fdaff9c0ea1d1d015bd8d0d) (http://smashwords.com/b/54793)
If you click on it, it should take you to a page where you can buy it, should you be so inclined. If you do read the story and like it (or even if you don't), please tell anyone who you think might like it to check it out.
On the other hand, if you don't like it, if you just feel like trolling or even if you are inclined to share some well-meaning advice feel free to do so here on languish :)
Map sucks.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 21, 2011, 05:11:39 PM
Map sucks.
Maybe if I start making money, I can hire Tim to do the map for me?
Is it easy to self-publish online now? I've heard of a couple people who have been very successful already.
Quote
Prince Arkenbright and the Forsaken Maid is a tale of the epynomous prince and his stalwarth squire Siward wandering the lands, as they do, in search of true love. It is, to the best knowledge of the author, factually accurate.
:P
Nice.
Dammit. I was beaten to the punch in self publishing. :(
Look for my novel, Adolf and Heinrich go to White Castle.
Also, congrats dude. :)
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 21, 2011, 05:15:45 PM
Is it easy to self-publish online now? I've heard of a couple people who have been very successful already.
It's not that hard. Basically you need to write something, a modicum of technical savvy (nothing beyond anyone here on languish, I should think) and a cover. Smashwords has pretty much everything you need.
The hard part (in addition to writing something that you think is worthwhile), as with most such things, is the marketing. Luckily I have an ace up my sleeve with Languish. If I can get you lot to like what I write I'm sure that, somehow, millions of other people will buy my work as well. It can't fail.
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 21, 2011, 05:21:08 PM
Dammit. I was beaten to the punch in self publishing. :(
Look for my novel, Adolf and Heinrich go to White Castle.
Sounds like a promising premise.
QuoteAlso, congrats dude. :)
Thanks :)
:)
I'm going to buy it and write a glowing review.
Troll, troll, troll your way
gently down the web
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
philanthropy is but a dream
Quote from: Slargos on April 21, 2011, 05:33:22 PM
I'm going to buy it and write a glowing review.
Sounds good.
Are you still up for a meeting in early May when I'm in Denmark, by the way?
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 05:37:41 PM
Quote from: Slargos on April 21, 2011, 05:33:22 PM
I'm going to buy it and write a glowing review.
Sounds good.
Are you still up for a meeting in early May when I'm in Denmark, by the way?
I doubt it.
Business, it's not so good at the moment. :Embarrass:
Quote from: Slargos on April 21, 2011, 05:39:46 PM
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 05:37:41 PMAre you still up for a meeting in early May when I'm in Denmark, by the way?
I doubt it.
Business, it's not so good at the moment. :Embarrass:
Doesn't that mean that you'll have free time?
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 05:40:45 PM
Quote from: Slargos on April 21, 2011, 05:39:46 PM
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 05:37:41 PMAre you still up for a meeting in early May when I'm in Denmark, by the way?
I doubt it.
Business, it's not so good at the moment. :Embarrass:
Doesn't that mean that you'll have free time?
What is the goddamned use for free time if you're broke? :P
No, when business is bad, it only means I have to work more hours.
Quote from: Slargos on April 21, 2011, 05:41:28 PMWhat is the goddamned use for free time if you're broke? :P
No, when business is bad, it only means I have to work more hours.
... and I guess you can't sell any kitchens to the Danes, huh?
I'll wait for the 5$ French Translation.
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 05:27:33 PM
The hard part (in addition to writing something that you think is worthwhile), as with most such things, is the marketing. Luckily I have an ace up my sleeve with Languish. If I can get you lot to like what I write I'm sure that, somehow, millions of other people will buy my work as well. It can't fail.
If you want us to like it, it has to involve Anne Franke and the furries.
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 05:03:40 PM
On the other hand, if you don't like it, if you just feel like trolling or even if you are inclined to share some well-meaning advice feel free to do so here on languish :)
Your last name is unpronounceable. It will kill sales.
If you want to be the next Amanda Hocking, you need to target the teen-girl market.
Throw in some love-sick vampires. :P
How does a short story work on self publishing? :s
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 21, 2011, 07:57:26 PM
Your last name is unpronounceable.
Any relations to the Dark Preachers aka. The Cousins?
Quote from: Tonitrus on April 21, 2011, 08:08:21 PM
If you want to be the next Amanda Hocking, you need to target the teen-girl market.
Throw in some love-sick vampires. :P
Middle-earth Twilight: The Saga of the Fair Maiden, Bella, and The Ranger Jacob?
Elves and vampires. $$$
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 21, 2011, 07:57:26 PMYour last name is unpronounceable. It will kill sales.
I thought about using a pen name, actually, but since I already have a bit of a profile as a writer in the videogame industry I thought I'd stick with my real name. I figured if I'm mainly doing internet publishing anyhow, no one actually has to
say my name, they just have to type it.
Quote from: Liep on April 21, 2011, 08:58:05 PMAny relations to the Dark Preachers aka. The Cousins?
Yes, absolutely. Søren is my mother's cousin; I've met him many times socially as a kid and it caused some consternation that he didn't show up to my grandmother's funeral. Ole (Folkebevægelsen Mod EF/ Enhedslisten - also my mother's and Søren's cousin) did, however.
The other cousin in "the cousins" - Langballe - is related to Søren away from my family, so to speak, so no relation there as far as I know.
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 21, 2011, 05:21:08 PM
Dammit. I was beaten to the punch in self publishing. :(
So far, my self-publishing has been limited to wrapping it around a brick and throwing it.
Quote from: Tonitrus on April 21, 2011, 08:08:21 PM
If you want to be the next Amanda Hocking, you need to target the teen-girl market.
Throw in some love-sick vampires. :P
I got a plan for that, but if I ever do execute on that I'm pretty sure I'll be using a pseudonym :)
Quote from: Tyr on April 21, 2011, 08:48:27 PM
How does a short story work on self publishing? :s
What do you mean "how does it work"?
I published it. You can buy it, or not.
That's pretty much it.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 21, 2011, 09:09:20 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 21, 2011, 05:21:08 PM
Dammit. I was beaten to the punch in self publishing. :(
So far, my self-publishing has been limited to wrapping it around a brick and throwing it.
So it's the same as your dating strategy?
Quote from: Razgovory on April 21, 2011, 09:16:04 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 21, 2011, 09:09:20 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 21, 2011, 05:21:08 PM
Dammit. I was beaten to the punch in self publishing. :(
So far, my self-publishing has been limited to wrapping it around a brick and throwing it.
So it's the same as your dating strategy?
Pretty much, yeah.
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 09:07:21 PM
Yes, absolutely. Søren is my mother's cousin; I've met him many times socially as a kid and it caused some consternation that he didn't show up to my grandmother's funeral. Ole (Folkebevægelsen Mod EF/ Enhedslisten - also my mother's and Søren's cousin) did, however.
The other cousin in "the cousins" - Langballe - is related to Søren away from my family, so to speak, so no relation there as far as I know.
I had forgotten about Ole Krarup, brings up good memories of the 'nej til EU' campaigns of the 90s. A good counter to Søren ;) and in any case some interesting people to have in one's family.
It's a cute story, but you're in need of an editor. Lots of typos in the piece. (Can you still fix those?)
I liked it, though. Worth the price. :)
Quote from: merithyn on April 21, 2011, 09:24:18 PM
It's a cute story, but you're in need of an editor. Lots of typos in the piece. (Can you still fix those?)
Really? You mean, beyond Canadian spelling eh?
Oh fuck.
But yeah, I can fix it.
... if you tell me what you mean. There were some stylistic choices and all, you know... but if I don't know what you mean I can't really gauge if that's what you're talking about (in which case I'll say "no typos! It's deliberate!") or whether I really did miss a bunch of things (curses).
QuoteI liked it, though. Worth the price. :)
Thanks!
You're my first customer! :hug:
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
Vegetarianism was very rare in that era. :rolleyes:
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
Mistborn is awesome! Go fuck yourself! :ultra:
Quote from: jimmy olsen on April 22, 2011, 03:26:22 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
Mistborn is awesome! Go fuck yourself! :ultra:
The reasons for swearing at Ide are legion, but I don't think this rates very highly. :P
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
I love fantasy, but you're correct that most of it is borderline unreadable. There's not much out there that is both well-written and well thought out.
Generally, the more detailed the map, the better the book. A good map shows the writer at least took the time to imagine the world his story is set in. Compare Goodkind vs Martin for example:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.e-reading.org.ua%2Fillustrations%2F71%2F71270-map.jpg&hash=0a8375b8251260b12e70164d6ad77d4044c5bfa6)
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg111.imageshack.us%2Fimg111%2F3764%2Fwsouthxj6.gif&hash=c9988978ecfd0239a0a6ac0c75e1b9ac3aed9052)
No surprise that the rest of Goodkind's work is half-assed as well.
"Mud people" :lol:
Quote from: Syt on April 22, 2011, 04:52:41 AM
"Mud people" :lol:
:lol:
Can't believe I'd missed that. Any more than I can believe that he had. :lol:
QuoteI love fantasy, but you're correct that most of it is borderline unreadable. There's not much out there that is both well-written and well thought out.
Generally, the more detailed the map, the better the book. A good map shows the writer at least took the time to imagine the world his story is set in. Compare Goodkind vs Martin for example:
hmm....not so sure there. I love a good map but...a map which is too well developed kind of ruins the mystery ajnd setting if your characters are off exploring new lands or the like.
Well, the important thing isn't so much that you can see the map but that the author has taken the time to envision the world he's set his work in. If the world is either empty or made up as the author goes along it tends to be more jarring.
Quote from: Jacob on April 21, 2011, 05:03:40 PM
The next story I'm putting up (just as soon as my friend finishes the cover for me) is a more serious story (still fiction though); it's about Chinese gangsters in Vancover (I've done a bit of research on the subject these last many years).
that's more along my line... remind me/us when it's done please :)
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
I appreciate the support :)
The next story will be about gangsters and prostitutes and things like that, so maybe you'll appreciate that instead.
... and Meri, I've fixed the things you pointed out, plus a couple of other things I caught (including making capitalization consistent for people's titles). I've uploaded the changes and, given previous experience, it'll only take about 16 hours (heh) before the changes are reflected in the actual store (you can download the new and improved version as well).
To show my gratitude for you picking up on these, I'll give you a free copy of my next story :)
I actually know a guy who does editing, so I'll see if I can get him to help me out, maybe in exchange for some of my wife's cooking. Since I'm saving up for Tim's mapping services, I can't really afford to pay for professional editors.
Quote from: viper37 on April 22, 2011, 09:48:48 AMthat's more along my line... remind me/us when it's done please :)
Oh absolutely :cheers:
Quote from: Jacob on April 22, 2011, 01:35:07 PM
... and Meri, I've fixed the things you pointed out, plus a couple of other things I caught (including making capitalization consistent for people's titles). I've uploaded the changes and, given previous experience, it'll only take about 16 hours (heh) before the changes are reflected in the actual store (you can download the new and improved version as well).
To show my gratitude for you picking up on these, I'll give you a free copy of my next story :)
I actually know a guy who does editing, so I'll see if I can get him to help me out, maybe in exchange for some of my wife's cooking. Since I'm saving up for Tim's mapping services, I can't really afford to pay for professional editors.
Wise move, though my suggestion tends to work about 99% of the time, even if you've read over the story 100 times. That should save you some cash if you pay by the hour.
EDIT: And I've already fixed the mistakes on my copy so no need to re-download it.
Quote from: Syt on April 22, 2011, 04:52:41 AM
"Mud people" :lol:
Oh yeah, Terry Goodkind is a complete fucking loon.
Quote from: Razgovory on April 22, 2011, 02:18:53 PM
Quote from: Syt on April 22, 2011, 04:52:41 AM
"Mud people" :lol:
Oh yeah, Terry Goodkind is a complete fucking loon.
I wish someone had told me that before I bought the books. The first one I thought was quite good light reading, then it went sharply downhill and I unfortunately bought the whole series. A goof example of an author that just invents new shit in every new book.
Quote from: Threviel on April 22, 2011, 03:19:00 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 22, 2011, 02:18:53 PM
Quote from: Syt on April 22, 2011, 04:52:41 AM
"Mud people" :lol:
Oh yeah, Terry Goodkind is a complete fucking loon.
I wish someone had told me that before I bought the books. The first one I thought was quite good light reading, then it went sharply downhill and I unfortunately bought the whole series. A goof example of an author that just invents new shit in every new book.
Man, that is really weird shit. http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.com/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html
Best of luck Jakie!
Will purchase a copy this weekend when have down time.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 22, 2011, 04:48:53 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
I love fantasy, but you're correct that most of it is borderline unreadable. There's not much out there that is both well-written and well thought out.
Generally, the more detailed the map, the better the book. A good map shows the writer at least took the time to imagine the world his story is set in. Compare Goodkind vs Martin for example:
I'm trying to think which one's lazier, "Westland" or that Kushiel's Dildo woman who just uses France but calls it Terre d'Ange.
Goodkind is the "Conan the Libertarian" guy, right?
Quote from: Tim OrtizMistborn is awesome! Go fuck yourself! :ultra:
What, seriously?
This is what you finally lash out about? :lol: :hug:
Quote from: JacobThe next story will be about gangsters and prostitutes and things like that, so maybe you'll appreciate that instead.
I like those things, yes.
Suggested title: "Danger in Vancouver." :ph34r:
Quote from: katmai on April 22, 2011, 03:46:14 PM
Best of luck Jakie!
Will purchase a copy this weekend when have down time.
Oh yeah! With Meri's copy, that will straight up DOUBLE my take.
I'm counting on my mom to buy one as well....
Quote from: IdeologueSuggested title: "Danger in Vancouver." :ph34r:
It already has a title, but if it turn into a series (and that is my plan) then "Danger in Vancouver" is actually pretty good for the whole series. I might use it... unless it's an obvious rip-off of something that I'm not aware of?
Thought one dollar was a decent price to settle my curiosity for this. Also, paypal makes it too easy to buy stuff.
Wait, it's just a dollar?
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 04:31:03 PM
Wait, it's just a dollar?
that is a package of Reese Cups.
I only buy the 40 oz. bags nowadays. Value!
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 04:31:03 PM
Wait, it's just a dollar?
Not even! 99 cents!
Yeah, the plan is to write a bunch of interconnected short stories in a few genres (the stories being interconnected within their genres only, of course). After a while some of the key characters in the short stories may turn appear in a longer novel, depending on 1: how compelling I find them and 2: how compelling other people seem to find them.
I'm doing the Prince Arkenbright stories (light-hearted fantasy about a prince on quest for his one true princess) and the "Danger in Vancouver" series (Chinese gangsters in Vancouver, possibly branching out to other types of miscreants as well). I've got some other things I'm considering, including a series of mostly true tales from the world of video game development.
I figure starting with short stories is a better approach because 1: They're easier to finish than a full length novel, 2: It's easier (I hope) to persuade people to drop $0.99 for a short story than $4.99 or $6.99 (or more) for a full length novel, and 3: If somebody buys a few short stories in a particular genre I write, they're more likely to spring for a more expensive full length novel in that genre should I write one.
That's the theory anyhow. We'll see how it pans out.
i was gonna buy it now, but confused as to which option to buy!
Quote from: Liep on April 22, 2011, 04:30:08 PM
Thought one dollar was a decent price to settle my curiosity for this. Also, paypal makes it too easy to buy stuff.
Oh yeah :cheers:
I apologize for the handful of typos that Meri mentioned. They (and a few others) have been fixed on my end, but it takes Smashwords a long time (I'm guessing another 10 hours or so) to reflect the updated file I gave them.
Quote from: katmai on April 22, 2011, 04:48:08 PM
i was gonna buy it now, but confused as to which option to buy!
What are you going to read it on?
Quote from: Jacob on April 22, 2011, 04:49:06 PM
Quote from: katmai on April 22, 2011, 04:48:08 PM
i was gonna buy it now, but confused as to which option to buy!
What are you going to read it on?
probably my iphone as always need best to have something to read on that to have like on these trips i just got back from.
LRF is for the Sony Reader.
Mobi is, I believe, the native format for the kindle, while ePub is the standard for most readers (I believe including the iPhone etc). In addition, most readers are able to handle PDF.
... but tell you what, if you get the wrong version and don't have access to the other versions (I don't know if you do or don't) I'll send you a complimentary copy of the right version (once you figure out which one that is for you).
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 04:33:39 PM
I only buy the 40 oz. bags nowadays. Value!
Diabeetus!
Quote from: katmai on April 22, 2011, 04:50:16 PMprobably my iphone as always need best to have something to read on that to have like on these trips i just got back from.
What reader do you use? Adope Digital Editions reads ePub, if you have the Kindle reader from Amazon you'll want Mobi. I think most of the third party readers support both (with ePub being the most common).
Yeah i don't have any atm, but will be picking one up and then grabbing the correct format for that :P
You can choose between all the options after purchase.
:lol: (@ Katmai)
Well... if you picturing yourself purchasing more commercial books to read online, do you expect to do so through Apple (via iBooks), via Amazon or via other online bookstores?
If Apple, Barnes and Noble (or did they go bankrupt?) and other online retailers, get iBooks and get the ePub file. If Amazon, get the Kindle Reader app for your iPhone and get the Mobi file.
That's my understanding, anyhow.
Quote from: Liep on April 22, 2011, 05:10:44 PM
You can choose between all the options after purchase.
Well that makes it easier :cheers:
Also, I just finished this and was quite pleased at how Edvard Grieg's - In the Hall of the Mountain King came on at the exact right time in Winamp.
It's a fun little story. Arkenbright is a good character, a prince who wants to do what princes do but can't quite do it right. I think I'd pay another dollar to read about that dragon.
(And I only noticed a couple of typos :P)
WAD
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 04:11:00 PM
Quote from: Tim OrtizMistborn is awesome! Go fuck yourself! :ultra:
What, seriously? This is what you finally lash out about? :lol: :hug:
I suggested it to her and Slargos and they loved it. Therefore you insults are directed at me! :mad:
Quote from: Liep on April 22, 2011, 05:20:16 PM
Also, I just finished this and was quite pleased at how Edvard Grieg's - In the Hall of the Mountain King came on at the exact right time in Winamp.
It's a fun little story. Arkenbright is a good character, a prince who wants to do what princes do but can't quite do it right. I think I'd pay another dollar to read about that dragon.
(And I only noticed a couple of typos :P)
Your first customer, now your first fan. :w00t:
Wouldn't the best thing to do with writing short stories be to publish them free online somewhere? You're not going to get rich by getting friends and family to buy the odd copy. You could however attract fans online and then somewhere down the line release compilations, a novel, etc... and start earning worthwhile money.
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 04:11:00 PM
I'm trying to think which one's lazier, "Westland" or that Kushiel's Dildo woman who just uses France but calls it Terre d'Ange.
Using Earth may be lazy but at least it gives the reader a fleshed out setting. Kushiel was readable and Kay's works set in the Byzantine/Moorish empires were actually rather good.
And my apologies to Jacob, I probably shouldn't bring up Goodkind in a thread where he's trying to sell fantasy stories. :lol:
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 22, 2011, 10:09:29 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 04:11:00 PM
I'm trying to think which one's lazier, "Westland" or that Kushiel's Dildo woman who just uses France but calls it Terre d'Ange.
Using Earth may be lazy but at least it gives the reader a fleshed out setting. Kushiel was readable and Kay's works set in the Byzantine/Moorish empires were actually rather good.
And my apologies to Jacob, I probably shouldn't bring up Goodkind in a thread where he's trying to sell fantasy stories. :lol:
I guess I'm probably being too hard on Kay. I mean, at least it explains how there are people. But then again I'm probably the only person who looks at a fantasy planet and wonders about how its plate movements might have radically have affected the evolution of its life. Hell, I'm probably one of the few who conceives of them as planets at all, instead of a flatland where three kingdoms have somehow coexisted in the same million square kilometers for millennia.
Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are. 10,000 years of the middle ages? What are they, retards? And do they not fuck? There should be billions of them.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 22, 2011, 08:47:23 PM
Quote from: Liep on April 22, 2011, 05:20:16 PM
Also, I just finished this and was quite pleased at how Edvard Grieg's - In the Hall of the Mountain King came on at the exact right time in Winamp.
It's a fun little story. Arkenbright is a good character, a prince who wants to do what princes do but can't quite do it right. I think I'd pay another dollar to read about that dragon.
(And I only noticed a couple of typos :P)
Your first customer, now your first fan. :w00t:
Second customer :contract:
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are. 10,000 years of the middle ages? What are they, retards? And do they not fuck? There should be billions of them.
I would imagine the presence of orcs, goblins, trolls and even elves and dwarves might cripple the pace of technological progress. Endemic warfare on a grander scale than we had historically, the existence of magic as a separate avenue to channel people's curiosity, the lack of urbanization and trade. How many great inventions of the middle ages were developed in villages of a hundred people?
As for the population, low tech, mediocre lands and constant fighting would tend to keep it down.
And we're supposed to be against Sauron for bringing order to this benighted land?
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 22, 2011, 08:47:23 PMYour first customer, now your first fan. :w00t:
It's because my name isn't unpronouncable to him - he's Danish too.
Quote from: Tyr on April 22, 2011, 09:50:18 PM
Wouldn't the best thing to do with writing short stories be to publish them free online somewhere? You're not going to get rich by getting friends and family to buy the odd copy. You could however attract fans online and then somewhere down the line release compilations, a novel, etc... and start earning worthwhile money.
I already have a plan for my approach, but thanks for your suggestions :hug:
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 22, 2011, 10:09:29 PMKay's works set in the Byzantine/Moorish empires were actually rather good.
I'm quite fond of Kay, actually. I just finished the Chinese one, and I read the Scando-Brit one not too long ago. So far he hasn't disappointed.
QuoteAnd my apologies to Jacob, I probably shouldn't bring up Goodkind in a thread where he's trying to sell fantasy stories. :lol:
No worries at all.
Quote from: Liep on April 22, 2011, 05:20:16 PMIt's a fun little story. Arkenbright is a good character, a prince who wants to do what princes do but can't quite do it right. I think I'd pay another dollar to read about that dragon.
As it happens, that is in fact the next story I'm planning for the good Prince.
Quote from: merithyn on April 22, 2011, 10:33:02 PM
Second customer :contract:
Note the "now" in front of first fan, meant to indicate that the first fan and the first customer are distinct events. :w00t:
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are. 10,000 years of the middle ages? What are they, retards? And do they not fuck? There should be billions of them.
They are middle aged bachelors among whom actually desiring and marrying women is considered something of an oddity. What do you expect from a South African victorian?
In Middle Earth whenever a guy thinks about having sex with a woman the Creator of the world frowns and yells "Ew! Gross! It's a sin!". No wonder people don't fuck.
Waaait a minute.... :hmm:
Quote from: The Brain on April 23, 2011, 01:58:38 AM
In Middle Earth whenever a guy thinks about having sex with a woman the Creator of the world frowns and yells "Ew! Gross! It's a sin!". No wonder people don't fuck.
Waaait a minute.... :hmm:
:(
Quote from: The Brain on April 23, 2011, 01:58:38 AM
In Middle Earth whenever a guy thinks about having sex with a woman the Creator of the world frowns and yells "Ew! Gross! It's a sin!". No wonder people don't fuck.
Waaait a minute.... :hmm:
Which book was that in?
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 22, 2011, 08:47:23 PM
Your first customer, now your first fan. :w00t:
I might become a fan after the first full length story. This one was really rather short, but still entertaining.
Quote from: The Brain on April 23, 2011, 11:50:20 AM
Quote from: Liep on April 23, 2011, 11:06:55 AM
short, but still entertaining.
"Poop."
Not a good idea. He should be careful with fart jokes, he is now Canadian after all.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 22, 2011, 10:45:30 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are. 10,000 years of the middle ages? What are they, retards? And do they not fuck? There should be billions of them.
I would imagine the presence of orcs, goblins, trolls and even elves and dwarves might cripple the pace of technological progress. Endemic warfare on a grander scale than we had historically, the existence of magic as a separate avenue to channel people's curiosity, the lack of urbanization and trade. How many great inventions of the middle ages were developed in villages of a hundred people?
As for the population, low tech, mediocre lands and constant fighting would tend to keep it down.
We must be ready to accept the possibility that economic development and progress across possible worlds is the exception, not the rule.
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
I guess I'm probably being too hard on Kay. I mean, at least it explains how there are people. But then again I'm probably the only person who looks at a fantasy planet and wonders about how its plate movements might have radically have affected the evolution of its life. Hell, I'm probably one of the few who conceives of them as planets at all, instead of a flatland where three kingdoms have somehow coexisted in the same million square kilometers for millennia.
Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are. 10,000 years of the middle ages? What are they, retards? And do they not fuck? There should be billions of them.
I'd say you need to get laid. These are the kinds of questions I stopped thinking about in maybe my sophomore year of college, when I started getting sex regularly.
Korea was right to be pissed off; you accept that humans can be made immortal by wearing a ring, but bitch because the population numbers or technological progress don't match your unfounded assumptions? :lol:
Quote from: jimmy olsen on April 22, 2011, 03:26:22 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it. Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.
I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
Mistborn is awesome! Go fuck yourself! :ultra:
Mistborn is fucking awesome. :ultra: I don't think he ever even saw a cover for Mistborn.
Bought it.
Like it.
Quote from: grumbler on April 23, 2011, 01:09:32 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
I guess I'm probably being too hard on Kay. I mean, at least it explains how there are people. But then again I'm probably the only person who looks at a fantasy planet and wonders about how its plate movements might have radically have affected the evolution of its life. Hell, I'm probably one of the few who conceives of them as planets at all, instead of a flatland where three kingdoms have somehow coexisted in the same million square kilometers for millennia.
Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are. 10,000 years of the middle ages? What are they, retards? And do they not fuck? There should be billions of them.
I'd say you need to get laid. These are the kinds of questions I stopped thinking about in maybe my sophomore year of college, when I started getting sex regularly.
I'm willing to bet I've had sex more recently than you have, Magoo. Things called humans ought to behave as humans.
And my next story is now available:
When you run a massage parlour in Vancouver, you pay protection. That's just the way it is, and Carlton Yee is there to collect the fee. If he wants a few benefits on the side, who's going to stop him? A story of sex, violence and danger in Vancouver.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg5.imageshack.us%2Fimg5%2F6215%2Fatlt300.jpg&hash=73c93b53bbac9feedaaec9937b31d45eddcc7b67) (http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/57309)
Available here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/57309
A story about handjobs?
Quote from: Jacob on May 03, 2011, 10:34:42 PM
When you run a massage parlour in Vancouver, you pay protection. That's just the way it is, and Carlton Yee is there to collect the fee. If he wants a few benefits on the side, who's going to stop him? A story of sex, violence and danger in Vancouver.
I like the cut of your jib.
If I was Jake I would write a short story about bmo. :bowler:
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on May 04, 2011, 07:50:53 AM
Quote from: Jacob on May 03, 2011, 10:34:42 PM
Carlton Yee
Based on somebody we know?
Hehehehe... I have on occasion written characters based on languish personalities, but this isn't one of them. That said, I think a few posters here might be able to identify with Carlton.
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 06:51:09 AM
A story about handjobs?
It features a $ 4000 purse. Somebody better get laid.
Quote from: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 07:51:40 AM
If I was Jake I would write a short story about bmo. :bowler:
Mr. Mollson stood up suddenly and barked, "PREETY FLOWER! RAGING WOMBAT!" The locals, understandably confused began to stab him. They left quickly, leaving the the Swede in a puddle of his own blood. As they fled, they could hear the echos of "RAGING THROB!" and other nonsensical phrases down the long hallways of Mollson's sweatshop.
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 02:38:23 PM
Mr. Mollson stood up suddenly and barked, "PREETY FLOWER! RAGING WOMBAT!" The locals, understandably confused began to stab him. They left quickly, leaving the the Swede in a puddle of his own blood. As they fled, they could hear the echos of "RAGING THROB!" and other nonsensical phrases down the long hallways of Mollson's sweatshop.
When can I buy this on Amazon.
Quote from: Jacob on May 04, 2011, 12:26:51 PM
Hehehehe... I have on occasion written characters based on languish personalities
:smoke:
I'm kind of hoping to write stuff that appeals to people who do not post on languish, so I'm afraid it's fairly far down the list (unless someone wants to pay me up front to write it, of course).
As for Amazon, it seems to take a long time for the stuff to migrate over, but I'm assured that it will eventually appear on there.
Quote from: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 02:43:53 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 02:38:23 PM
Mr. Mollson stood up suddenly and barked, "PREETY FLOWER! RAGING WOMBAT!" The locals, understandably confused began to stab him. They left quickly, leaving the the Swede in a puddle of his own blood. As they fled, they could hear the echos of "RAGING THROB!" and other nonsensical phrases down the long hallways of Mollson's sweatshop.
When can I buy this on Amazon.
:)
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 02:46:58 PM:)
If you write it, I'll be happy to guide you through the steps of self-publishing :)