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Adventures in Self-Publishing

Started by Jacob, April 21, 2011, 05:03:40 PM

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The Brain

Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Liep

Quote from: The Brain on April 23, 2011, 11:50:20 AM
Quote from: Liep on April 23, 2011, 11:06:55 AM
short, but still entertaining.

"Poop."
Not a good idea. He should be careful with fart jokes, he is now Canadian after all.
"Af alle latterlige Ting forekommer det mig at være det allerlatterligste at have travlt" - Kierkegaard

"JamenajmenømahrmDÆ!DÆ! Æhvnårvaæhvadlelæh! Hvor er det crazy, det her, mand!" - Uffe Elbæk

Warspite

Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 22, 2011, 10:45:30 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are.  10,000 years of the middle ages?  What are they, retards?  And do they not fuck?  There should be billions of them.

I would imagine the presence of orcs, goblins, trolls and even elves and dwarves might cripple the pace of technological progress. Endemic warfare on a grander scale than we had historically, the existence of magic as a separate avenue to channel people's curiosity, the lack of urbanization and trade. How many great inventions of the middle ages were developed in villages of a hundred people?

As for the population, low tech, mediocre lands and constant fighting would tend to keep it down.

We must be ready to accept the possibility that economic development and progress across possible worlds is the exception, not the rule.
" SIR – I must commend you on some of your recent obituaries. I was delighted to read of the deaths of Foday Sankoh (August 9th), and Uday and Qusay Hussein (July 26th). Do you take requests? "

OVO JE SRBIJA
BUDALO, OVO JE POSTA

grumbler

#93
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
I guess I'm probably being too hard on Kay.  I mean, at least it explains how there are people.  But then again I'm probably the only person who looks at a fantasy planet and wonders about how its plate movements might have radically have affected the evolution of its life.  Hell, I'm probably one of the few who conceives of them as planets at all, instead of a flatland where three kingdoms have somehow coexisted in the same million square kilometers for millennia.

Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are.  10,000 years of the middle ages?  What are they, retards?  And do they not fuck?  There should be billions of them.
I'd say you need to get laid.  These are the kinds of questions I stopped thinking about in maybe my sophomore year of college, when I started getting sex regularly.

Korea was right to be pissed off; you accept that humans can be made immortal by wearing a ring, but bitch because the population numbers or technological progress don't match your unfounded assumptions?  :lol:
The future is all around us, waiting, in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain.   -G'Kar

Bayraktar!

Korea

Quote from: jimmy olsen on April 22, 2011, 03:26:22 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 01:54:06 AM
I really can't stand fantasy, I'm afraid, but I'll tell Korea to buy it.  Given her reading habits, I doubt it actually matters if it's good or bad.

I mean, I assume it's good, you're a bright guy and an artistic soul, just I can't judge that genre whatsoever; every page of every fantasy book of hers I've ever read has been borderline unreadable, even when it's not being patently offensive in some way, which is of course most of the time.
Mistborn is awesome! Go fuck yourself! :ultra:
Mistborn is fucking awesome. :ultra:  I don't think he ever even saw a cover for Mistborn.
I want my mother fucking points!

Korea

I want my mother fucking points!

Ideologue

#96
Quote from: grumbler on April 23, 2011, 01:09:32 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on April 22, 2011, 10:19:39 PM
I guess I'm probably being too hard on Kay.  I mean, at least it explains how there are people.  But then again I'm probably the only person who looks at a fantasy planet and wonders about how its plate movements might have radically have affected the evolution of its life.  Hell, I'm probably one of the few who conceives of them as planets at all, instead of a flatland where three kingdoms have somehow coexisted in the same million square kilometers for millennia.

Korea always got pissed off when I started complaining about how unhumanlike the humans in LotR are.  10,000 years of the middle ages?  What are they, retards?  And do they not fuck?  There should be billions of them.
I'd say you need to get laid.  These are the kinds of questions I stopped thinking about in maybe my sophomore year of college, when I started getting sex regularly.

I'm willing to bet I've had sex more recently than you have, Magoo.  Things called humans ought to behave as humans.
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)


Jacob

And my next story is now available:

When you run a massage parlour in Vancouver, you pay protection. That's just the way it is, and Carlton Yee is there to collect the fee. If he wants a few benefits on the side, who's going to stop him? A story of sex, violence and danger in Vancouver.



Available here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/57309


Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Caliga

Quote from: Jacob on May 03, 2011, 10:34:42 PM
When you run a massage parlour in Vancouver, you pay protection. That's just the way it is, and Carlton Yee is there to collect the fee. If he wants a few benefits on the side, who's going to stop him? A story of sex, violence and danger in Vancouver.
I like the cut of your jib.
0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

Eddie Teach

To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

Caliga

If I was Jake I would write a short story about bmo. :bowler:
0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

Jacob

Quote from: Peter Wiggin on May 04, 2011, 07:50:53 AM
Quote from: Jacob on May 03, 2011, 10:34:42 PM
Carlton Yee

Based on somebody we know?

Hehehehe... I have on occasion written characters based on languish personalities, but this isn't one of them. That said, I think a few posters here might be able to identify with Carlton.

Jacob

Quote from: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 06:51:09 AM
A story about handjobs?

It features a $ 4000 purse. Somebody better get laid.