One of my former consultants just forwarded this to me :x
QuoteYou Might Be a Redneck...a different take
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya'll know who ya 'll are.
You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'
You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'
You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.
God Bless the USA !
Keep the fire burning, redneck friend.
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
IN GOD WE TRUST
Dear Hod :x
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
The thing is that it's debatable whether or not this guy is actually a redneck. He's originally from Evansville, Indiana, started his career off designing semiconductors (IIRC) for Texas Instruments, and now is an engineer at Lexmark.
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 07:54:24 AM
The thing is that it's debatable whether or not this guy is actually a redneck. He's originally from Evansville, Indiana, started his career off designing semiconductors (IIRC) for Texas Instruments, and now is an engineer at Lexmark.
Lexmark? He's just evil then.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 02, 2009, 07:56:47 AM
Lexmark? He's just evil then.
Well, he hates it there, in his defense. I mean, he likes the work, but he hates the terrible pay. Lexmark really is a total POS. I'm amazed it's still in business.
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 07:53:12 AM
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
No I am just digusted by the paranoia that being left wing socially means you are out there trying to destroy those things. It gets really tiresome.
Quote from: Valmy on June 02, 2009, 07:59:33 AM
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 07:53:12 AM
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
No I am just digusted by the paranoia that being left wing socially means you are out there trying to destroy those things. It gets really tiresome.
Leftists want to destroy America. :yes:
Quote from: Valmy on June 02, 2009, 07:59:33 AM
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 07:53:12 AM
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
No I am just digusted by the paranoia that being left wing socially means you are out there trying to destroy those things. It gets really tiresome.
Considering that all these things are casualties of the left here in Europe, I'm not so sure he's all that far off. ;)
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 02, 2009, 08:00:14 AM
Leftists want to save America. :yes:
Done :P
Except economic leftists, but they are morons.
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 08:00:21 AM
Considering that all these things are casualties of the left here in Europe, I'm not so sure he's all that far off. ;)
Yeah but those are anti-capitalist socialist tards.
Go back to Russia, Valmy.
I'm bored.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 02, 2009, 08:00:14 AM
Quote from: Valmy on June 02, 2009, 07:59:33 AM
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 07:53:12 AM
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
No I am just digusted by the paranoia that being left wing socially means you are out there trying to destroy those things. It gets really tiresome.
Leftists want to destroy America. :yes:
Yeah but then again we want to destroy the entire Western civilization, so don't feel special about it.
Quote from: Valmy on June 02, 2009, 07:59:33 AM
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 07:53:12 AM
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
No I am just digusted by the paranoia that being left wing socially means you are out there trying to destroy those things. It gets really tiresome.
But isn't that true?
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 07:54:24 AM
He's originally from Evansville, Indiana
Then he's a god DAMNED carpetbagging Yankee and in no way, shape, or form a redneck.
GTFO OF THE SOUTH YANKEES
Quote from: Fireblade on June 02, 2009, 09:06:02 AM
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 07:54:24 AM
He's originally from Evansville, Indiana
Then he's a god DAMNED carpetbagging Yankee and in no way, shape, or form a redneck.
GTFO OF THE SOUTH YANKEES
Squee
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 02, 2009, 09:07:23 AM
Quote from: Fireblade on June 02, 2009, 09:06:02 AM
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 07:54:24 AM
He's originally from Evansville, Indiana
Then he's a god DAMNED carpetbagging Yankee and in no way, shape, or form a redneck.
GTFO OF THE SOUTH YANKEES
Squee
Meow?
Quote from: Fireblade on June 02, 2009, 09:10:36 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 02, 2009, 09:07:23 AM
Quote from: Fireblade on June 02, 2009, 09:06:02 AM
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 07:54:24 AM
He's originally from Evansville, Indiana
Then he's a god DAMNED carpetbagging Yankee and in no way, shape, or form a redneck.
GTFO OF THE SOUTH YANKEES
Squee
Meow?
I thought you was doing a Lettow "Yankees are Carpetbaggers" joke.
Let me get this straight.
This guy is saying that if he was confronted by a dozen terrorists threatening his life, his first choice for backup would be 6 guys armed with tire irons and squirrel guns?
Personally I think I would prefer a battalion of marines, but maybe that's the America-hating, commie pinko northeastern elitist in me talking.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 02, 2009, 09:13:17 AM
Quote from: Fireblade on June 02, 2009, 09:10:36 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 02, 2009, 09:07:23 AM
Quote from: Fireblade on June 02, 2009, 09:06:02 AM
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 07:54:24 AM
He's originally from Evansville, Indiana
Then he's a god DAMNED carpetbagging Yankee and in no way, shape, or form a redneck.
GTFO OF THE SOUTH YANKEES
Squee
Meow?
I thought you was doing a Lettow "Yankees are Carpetbaggers" joke.
Lettow and Fireblade are mostly the same guy.
Quote from: The Minsky Moment on June 02, 2009, 09:19:18 AM
Let me get this straight.
This guy is saying that if he was confronted by a dozen terrorists threatening his life, his first choice for backup would be 6 guys armed with tire irons and squirrel guns?
Personally I think I would prefer a battalion of marines, but maybe that's the America-hating, commie pinko northeastern elitist in me talking.
Maybe he wants to give the terrorists a fair fight, in the name of good old American fair play.
Neil would, of course, be backed up by a flotilla of Canadian Dreadnoughts.
Quote from: The Minsky Moment on June 02, 2009, 09:19:18 AM
Let me get this straight.
This guy is saying that if he was confronted by a dozen terrorists threatening his life, his first choice for backup would be 6 guys armed with tire irons and squirrel guns?
Personally I think I would prefer a battalion of marines, but maybe that's the America-hating, commie pinko northeastern elitist in me talking.
But aren't the marines themselves rednecks? After all, few people join the Marines because they hate America.
Quote from: Valmy on June 02, 2009, 09:23:50 AM
Maybe he wants to give the terrorists a fair fight.
I knew it. The rednecks are soft of terrorism.
round em up and send em to Gitmo before they all surrender to al Qaeda.
Quote from: Neil on June 02, 2009, 09:25:20 AM
[But aren't the marines themselves rednecks?
Perhaps. But they are properly armed, drilled, and led rednecks.
Quote from: Neil on June 02, 2009, 09:25:20 AM
But aren't the marines themselves rednecks? After all, few people join the Marines because they hate America.
No, rednecks mostly join the army. The army likes to recruit 'em big and dumb. Rednecks by and large aren't all that big, but they are dumb enough that they don't have to
be all that big.
I say Christmas. Fuck you, God.
Is there a place where you can look up the state of origin of the military personnel? That would be interesting.
Quote from: The Minsky Moment on June 02, 2009, 09:19:18 AM
Let me get this straight.
This guy is saying that if he was confronted by a dozen terrorists threatening his life, his first choice for backup would be 6 guys armed with tire irons and squirrel guns?
Personally I think I would prefer a battalion of marines, but maybe that's the America-hating, commie pinko northeastern elitist in me talking.
Translation:
Use your god given constitutional rights and shoot the motherfuckers.
You might be a redneck if ... you eat at gas stations and love it.
:P
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 07:54:24 AM
The thing is that it's debatable whether or not this guy is actually a redneck. He's originally from Evansville, Indiana, started his career off designing semiconductors (IIRC) for Texas Instruments, and now is an engineer at Lexmark.
How could he be anything but a redneck?
Quote from: Maximus on June 02, 2009, 09:55:43 AM
How could he be anything but a redneck?
Yeah I don't get how redneck = Southern. There's farmboys all over the place.
Quote from: The Minsky Moment on June 02, 2009, 09:19:18 AM
maybe that's the America-hating, commie pinko northeastern elitist in me talking.
There's no maybe about it, JEW. :mad:
That redneck bullshit is completely stupid.
I really, REALLY, hate people that are constantly trying to mix their religion with America.
Oh, "I treat veterans with respect."
Why don't you serve in the army and become a veteran yourself, mothefucker?
Quote from: Malthus on June 02, 2009, 09:41:19 AM
You might be a redneck if ... you eat at gas stations and love it.
:P
I love how I alternately am a redneck/Southerner and am NOT a redneck/Southerner on Languish depending on which angle is more insulting at the time. :cool:
...and I agree it's totally incorrect to conflate the two.
Quote from: Siege on June 02, 2009, 10:51:35 AM
That redneck bullshit is completely stupid.
I really, REALLY, hate people that are constantly trying to mix their religion with America.
Oh, "I treat veterans with respect."
Why don't you serve in the army and become a veteran yourself, mothefucker?
Although I'm quite certain the guy that sent me that didn't actually write it, he did a USMC tour in Vietnam. ^_^
He's old and fat now tho. :blush:
Quote from: Valmy on June 02, 2009, 09:31:19 AM
Is there a place where you can look up the state of origin of the military personnel? That would be interesting.
It doesn't matter. The rednecks that join the army stop being so the moment they join.
Well, is a long process that ussually takes more than one enlistment and more than one deployment, but the army is very succesful at opening their eyes to the wide world.
not even funny in an ironic way. Just silly. I think buddy is trying to "take back" Redneck, as if you could turn it into a non pejorative. good luck with that.
QuoteYou might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
No that means you are gay.
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 10:52:26 AM
I love how I alternately am a redneck/Southerner and am NOT a redneck/Southerner on Languish depending on which angle is more insulting at the time. :cool:
It's an equal opportunity world out there. :yes:
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 10:52:26 AM
Quote from: Malthus on June 02, 2009, 09:41:19 AM
You might be a redneck if ... you eat at gas stations and love it.
:P
I love how I alternately am a redneck/Southerner and am NOT a redneck/Southerner on Languish depending on which angle is more insulting at the time. :cool:
...and I agree it's totally incorrect to conflate the two.
Don't worry. I'll always think of you as a repressed homosexual.
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 10:52:26 AM
I love how I alternately am a redneck/Southerner and am NOT a redneck/Southerner on Languish depending on which angle is more insulting at the time. :cool:
Anyone who calls you not a redneck/southerner as an insult suffers from delusions. :(
Anyway, I suppose we are all rednecks today! :unsure:
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 10:50:53 AM
There's no maybe about it, JEW. :mad:
We prefer: cosmpolitan.
Quote from: garbon on June 02, 2009, 02:17:39 PM
Quote from: Caliga on June 02, 2009, 10:52:26 AM
I love how I alternately am a redneck/Southerner and am NOT a redneck/Southerner on Languish depending on which angle is more insulting at the time. :cool:
Anyone who calls you not a redneck/southerner as an insult suffers from delusions. :(
I agree, katmai is delusional. :)
Am I too old to serve?
Quote from: Neil on June 02, 2009, 02:13:52 PMDon't worry. I'll always think of you as a repressed homosexual.
That's fine with me. Gays are cool.
Here's another jingoistic email that was passed to me a few days ago.
QuoteCITGO NAME CHANGE
PLEASE READ AND PASS IT ON
IN ORLANDO LAST WEEK, AT A CITGO STATION, REGULAR GAS WAS PRICED AT $2.82 PER GALLON, AND NO CUSTOMERS.
HOWEVER, ACROSS THE STREET FUEL WAS SELLING20FOR $2.85 PER GALLON AND ALL PUMPS THERE HAD CARS WAITING TO FUEL UP.
What's going on? Word is getting around!!!!!
Read on: Have you noticed how the CITGO signs have disappeared in the past 7-8 months? A very clever move by Chavez. But guess what, "CITGO" IS CHANGING ITS NAME, too...This is serious, Americans,... make sure you read this very carefully.
NEWS FLASH:
Chavez is NOW getting a Russian Weapons Factory built by Putin. The RUSSIANS are building an AK-47 Kalashnikov Assault Rifle factory in Venezuela , to give armament support to Communist Rebel groups throughout the Americas ..
Chavez NOW has IRANIANS operating his oil refineries in Venezuela for him. It is likely only a matter of time, if not already, before Chavez has Iranian built LONG RANGE missiles, with a variety of warhead types aimed at: Guess Who?
CITGO is NOW in the process of Changing Its Name to "PETRO EXPRESS" due to the loss of gasoline sales in the USA ....due to the recent publicity of ownership by Chavez of Venezuela.
Every dollar you spend with ''CITGO" or "PETRO EXPRESS" gasoline will be used against you, your basic human rights, and your freedoms. He will start wars here in the Americas that will probably be the death of millions.
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT because Chavez is starting to feel the loss of revenue from his holdings. HE OWNS "CITGO." This is a very important move that everyone should be aware of.
ANNOUNCED JUST RECENTLY: "CITGO", BEING AWARE THAT SALES ARE DOWN DUE TO U.S. CUSTOMERS NOT WANTING TO BUY FROM 'CITGO-CHAVEZ', HAVE STARTED TO CHANGE THE NAME OF SOME OF THEIR STORES TO: 'PETRO EXPRESS'. DO NOT BUY FROM "PETRO EXPRESS" EITHER!!! 'PETRO EXPRESS' IS ALSO 100% OWNED BY "CHAVEZ."
KEEP THIS MEMO GOING SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPENING.
BOTTOM LINE...
BOYCOTT "CITGO" & "PETRO EXPRESS" please!!
PLEASE MAKE SURE THIS IS PASSED ON TO EVERYONE IN YOUR E-MAIL LIST IN THE UNITED STATES AND OUTSIDE OF AMERICA ...
Quote from: Siege on June 02, 2009, 10:51:35 AM
That redneck bullshit is completely stupid.
I really, REALLY, hate people that are constantly trying to mix their religion with America.
Oh, "I treat veterans with respect."
Why don't you serve in the army and become a veteran yourself, mothefucker?
GTFO of this thread, hippie-crite.
On-topic, big freakin' whoop. This sounds like pinko PC crap to me. The most "redneck" individual I can think of is a nuclear engineer at one of the larger plants in the US. His truck has been repaired with duct tape, has this weird animatronic sea bass thing serving as a tail light for his truck's hitch, and he keeps people from touching his hard hat by telling them they'd better be ready to decon from 600 rads. Redneck != inbred idiot.
Cool, the umbrella also includes the emotionally and socially stunted.
Quote from: Jaron on June 02, 2009, 08:53:43 PM
Am I too old to serve?
Nothing is too old to serve in Kentucky gas stations.
Well, I'm offended. Pretty much everything in that e-mail applies to me except the bit about giving a friend my last dollar, but I'm no redneck--I detest the semi-literate, pickup truck-driving, Confederate flag-waving, wife-beating scum.
Quote from: dps on June 03, 2009, 04:34:22 AM
Well, I'm offended. Pretty much everything in that e-mail applies to me except the bit about giving a friend my last dollar, but I'm no redneck--I detest the semi-literate, pickup truck-driving, Confederate flag-waving, wife-beating scum.
:huh: Maybe you should find another friend.
Quote from: The Brain on June 03, 2009, 04:37:36 AM
Quote from: dps on June 03, 2009, 04:34:22 AM
Well, I'm offended. Pretty much everything in that e-mail applies to me except the bit about giving a friend my last dollar, but I'm no redneck--I detest the semi-literate, pickup truck-driving, Confederate flag-waving, wife-beating scum.
:huh: Maybe you should find another friend.
???
I wouldn't give him my last dollar either.
Quote from: DGuller on June 02, 2009, 10:35:19 PM
Nothing is too old to serve in Kentucky gas stations.
^_^
Quote from: Jaron on June 02, 2009, 08:53:43 PM
Am I too old to serve?
To serve hamburguers at Jib?
Nope.
To serve in the Army as an infantryman?
Nope.
Quote from: Norgy on June 03, 2009, 08:44:27 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 02, 2009, 10:35:19 PM
Nothing is too old to serve in Kentucky gas stations.
^_^
I wish I took a picture of those deep fried chicken bits on a stick at a gas station near Ft. Knox 3 years ago.
And every time Cal is on Languish, re-post it.
That sounds like someone would find in West Point (Kentucky). That town screams "Deliverance". :)
Quote from: Caliga on June 03, 2009, 06:14:22 PM
That sounds like someone would find in West Point (Kentucky). That town screams "Deliverance". :)
All I remember was going past Louisville and its nice suburbs, getting on the Dixie Highway and going through the timewarp as I left civilization and entering the badlands.
And then leaving the armor museum, trying to get the fuck out as fast as I could, before having to stop for a Diet Dr. Pepper.
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 07:53:12 AM
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
I think it's more the monopolisation of patriotism and certain values that's offensive, not the message.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 03, 2009, 06:21:53 PM
All I remember was going past Louisville and its nice suburbs, getting on the Dixie Highway and going through the timewarp as I left civilization and entering the badlands.
And then leaving the armor museum, trying to get the fuck out as fast as I could, before having to stop for a Diet Dr. Pepper.
Yeah, once you cross the Salt River (little cantilever bridge) and leave Jefferson County, you're in West Point. The town proper is a right off Dixie Highway.
Quote from: dps on June 03, 2009, 04:47:58 AM
???
I wouldn't give him my last dollar either.
I think they call that selfish.
Besides aren't you supposed to be besties with your child bride?
Quote from: Sheilbh on June 03, 2009, 06:23:27 PM
Quote from: Slargos on June 02, 2009, 07:53:12 AM
I can imagine that you liberal commietard types would be offended by this message. :)
I think it's more the monopolisation of patriotism and certain values that's offensive, not the message.
I agree.