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"You Might Be a Redneck"... ugh

Started by Caliga, June 02, 2009, 07:46:22 AM

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Jaron

Winner of THE grumbler point.

Caliga

Quote from: Neil on June 02, 2009, 02:13:52 PMDon't worry.  I'll always think of you as a repressed homosexual.

That's fine with me.  Gays are cool.
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Razgovory

I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

citizen k

Here's another jingoistic email that was passed to me a few days ago.

QuoteCITGO NAME CHANGE
PLEASE READ AND PASS IT ON
IN ORLANDO LAST WEEK, AT A CITGO STATION, REGULAR GAS WAS PRICED AT $2.82 PER GALLON, AND NO CUSTOMERS.
HOWEVER, ACROSS THE STREET FUEL WAS SELLING20FOR $2.85 PER GALLON AND ALL PUMPS THERE HAD CARS WAITING TO FUEL UP.
What's going on? Word is getting around!!!!!
Read on: Have you noticed how the CITGO signs have disappeared in the past 7-8 months? A very clever move by Chavez. But guess what, "CITGO" IS CHANGING ITS NAME, too...This is serious, Americans,... make sure you read this very carefully.

NEWS FLASH:
Chavez is NOW getting a Russian Weapons Factory built by Putin. The RUSSIANS are building an AK-47 Kalashnikov Assault Rifle factory in Venezuela , to give armament support to Communist Rebel groups throughout the Americas ..

Chavez NOW has IRANIANS operating his oil refineries in Venezuela for him. It is likely only a matter of time, if not already, before Chavez has Iranian built LONG RANGE missiles, with a variety of warhead types aimed at: Guess Who?

CITGO is NOW in the process of Changing Its Name to "PETRO EXPRESS" due to the loss of gasoline sales in the USA ....due to the recent publicity of ownership by Chavez of Venezuela.

Every dollar you spend with ''CITGO" or "PETRO EXPRESS" gasoline will be used against you, your basic human rights, and your freedoms. He will start wars here in the Americas that will probably be the death of millions.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT because Chavez is starting to feel the loss of revenue from his holdings. HE OWNS "CITGO." This is a very important move that everyone should be aware of.

ANNOUNCED JUST RECENTLY: "CITGO", BEING AWARE THAT SALES ARE DOWN DUE TO U.S. CUSTOMERS NOT WANTING TO BUY FROM 'CITGO-CHAVEZ', HAVE STARTED TO CHANGE THE NAME OF SOME OF THEIR STORES TO: 'PETRO EXPRESS'. DO NOT BUY FROM "PETRO EXPRESS" EITHER!!! 'PETRO EXPRESS' IS ALSO 100% OWNED BY "CHAVEZ."

KEEP THIS MEMO GOING SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPENING.

BOTTOM LINE...
BOYCOTT "CITGO" & "PETRO EXPRESS" please!!

PLEASE MAKE SURE THIS IS PASSED ON TO EVERYONE IN YOUR E-MAIL LIST IN THE UNITED STATES AND OUTSIDE OF AMERICA ...


DontSayBanana

Quote from: Siege on June 02, 2009, 10:51:35 AM
That redneck bullshit is completely stupid.
I really, REALLY, hate people that are constantly trying to mix their religion with America.
Oh, "I treat veterans with respect."
Why don't you serve in the army and become a veteran yourself, mothefucker?

GTFO of this thread, hippie-crite.

On-topic, big freakin' whoop. This sounds like pinko PC crap to me. The most "redneck" individual I can think of is a nuclear engineer at one of the larger plants in the US. His truck has been repaired with duct tape, has this weird animatronic sea bass thing serving as a tail light for his truck's hitch, and he keeps people from touching his hard hat by telling them they'd better be ready to decon from 600 rads. Redneck != inbred idiot.
Experience bij!

garbon

Cool, the umbrella also includes the emotionally and socially stunted.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

DGuller

Quote from: Jaron on June 02, 2009, 08:53:43 PM
Am I too old to serve?
Nothing is too old to serve in Kentucky gas stations.

dps

Well, I'm offended.  Pretty much everything in that e-mail applies to me except the bit about giving a friend my last dollar, but I'm no redneck--I detest the semi-literate, pickup truck-driving, Confederate flag-waving, wife-beating scum.

The Brain

Quote from: dps on June 03, 2009, 04:34:22 AM
Well, I'm offended.  Pretty much everything in that e-mail applies to me except the bit about giving a friend my last dollar, but I'm no redneck--I detest the semi-literate, pickup truck-driving, Confederate flag-waving, wife-beating scum.

:huh: Maybe you should find another friend.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

dps

Quote from: The Brain on June 03, 2009, 04:37:36 AM
Quote from: dps on June 03, 2009, 04:34:22 AM
Well, I'm offended.  Pretty much everything in that e-mail applies to me except the bit about giving a friend my last dollar, but I'm no redneck--I detest the semi-literate, pickup truck-driving, Confederate flag-waving, wife-beating scum.

:huh: Maybe you should find another friend.

???

I wouldn't give him my last dollar either.

Norgy


Siege

Quote from: Jaron on June 02, 2009, 08:53:43 PM
Am I too old to serve?

To serve hamburguers at Jib?
Nope.

To serve in the Army as an infantryman?
Nope.



"All men are created equal, then some become infantry."

"Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't."

"Laissez faire et laissez passer, le monde va de lui même!"


Ed Anger

Quote from: Norgy on June 03, 2009, 08:44:27 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 02, 2009, 10:35:19 PM

Nothing is too old to serve in Kentucky gas stations.

^_^

I wish I took a picture of those deep fried chicken bits on a stick at a gas station near Ft. Knox 3 years ago.

And every time Cal is on Languish, re-post it.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Caliga

That sounds like someone would find in West Point (Kentucky).  That town screams "Deliverance".  :)
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Ed Anger

Quote from: Caliga on June 03, 2009, 06:14:22 PM
That sounds like someone would find in West Point (Kentucky).  That town screams "Deliverance".  :)

All I remember was going past Louisville and its nice suburbs, getting on the Dixie Highway and going through the timewarp as I left civilization and entering the badlands.

And then leaving the armor museum, trying to get the fuck out as fast as I could, before having to stop for a Diet Dr. Pepper.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive