Should Meri report her professor?

[Ed Anger]

My seal of approval is more valuable.

[Valmy]

Brazen's advice is sensible but only if the situation repeats itself. If it was just a one-time awkward first lesson/break-the-ice type of situation, then even approaching the professor about it would be a great exaggeration that would simply reinforce his preconceived notion that women are over-sensitive crazies.

Frankly who cares if it reinforces his preconcieved notions.  I just don't want my name associated with any negative feelings when it comes to the dude grading my papers.  But basically I agree.  Give this guy a pass this one time, if he keeps doing it then you may need to very tactfully bring it up to him in private.

[merithyn]

Frankly who cares if it reinforces his preconcieved notions.  I just don't want my name associated with any negative feelings when it comes to the dude grading my papers.  But basically I agree.  Give this guy a pass this one time, if he keeps doing it then you may need to very tactfully bring it up to him in private.

Well said, Valmy. I haven't decided what I'll do yet. I may approach him sooner rather than later, or I may approach him only if there's a repeat performance.

I'm leaning toward approaching him in his office before the next class and simply saying that while I appreciate his desire to be inclusive, I would rather he stopped referring to the fact that I'm a woman. My goal is to learn the material, do my work well, and move on to the next level with as little fuss and muss as possible, and continuing to bring up the (often incorrect) stereotypes of men and womn make that difficult. Then I'll ask him to explain some random thing in the text book, smile, and tell him that I'll see him in class.

It's the approach that I've been favoring almost since day-one, the ridiculous diatribes from others here notwithstanding. Given my experiences in the past regarding socially awkward people, I considered a note rather than face-to-face since that seemed to make them more comfortable. However, context and subtle expressions are often lost with the written word, and I don't wish to antagonize the guy (see Valmy's post above).

[PDH]

You are an adult who is mature - much more so than the kids in the class.  The professor is also nominally an adult.  Speak to him at office hours like an adult, while realizing he is probably also a bit of a wonk too.  Continue after this, if the discussion is positive to that point (if not, you are on your own), with what you want to get out of the class and where you are heading with such course work.

He will probably be weirded out that someone is coming to his office hours at all, this will give you the decisive octagon advantage.

[merithyn]

You are an adult who is mature - much more so than the kids in the class.  The professor is also nominally an adult.  Speak to him at office hours like an adult, while realizing he is probably also a bit of a wonk too.  Continue after this, if the discussion is positive to that point (if not, you are on your own), with what you want to get out of the class and where you are heading with such course work.

He will probably be weirded out that someone is coming to his office hours at all, this will give you the decisive octagon advantage.

So.. pretty much what I said I was leaning toward doing. Got it. Thanks for reinforcing that decision, as I was honestly waiting to hear from you.

[Valmy]

He will probably be weirded out that someone is coming to his office hours at all, this will give you the decisive octagon advantage.

[garbon]

He will probably be weirded out that someone is coming to his office hours at all, this will give you the decisive octagon advantage.

Office hours seemed strange. They were always like come on down whenever you feel like - and it was like yeah but what am I going to say?

[merithyn]

He will probably be weirded out that someone is coming to his office hours at all, this will give you the decisive octagon advantage.

Office hours seemed strange. They were always like come on down whenever you feel like - and it was like yeah but what am I going to say?

They're meant for people who are having problems with the work or other concerns about the class. In other words, for situations like this.

[Eddie Teach]

And for people who want to earn a little extra credit.

[garbon]

He will probably be weirded out that someone is coming to his office hours at all, this will give you the decisive octagon advantage.

Office hours seemed strange. They were always like come on down whenever you feel like - and it was like yeah but what am I going to say?

They're meant for people who are having problems with the work or other concerns about the class. In other words, for situations like this.

I used them once or twice for that (in CS no less) but I really always thought they'd be good for networking with faculty. Unfortunately, I had nothing to say for myself.

[PDH]

The insularity of the professor's life are both a comfort to those who don't adjust well and a reinforcement to those tendencies to be weird.  It happens in all the areas, and while not every professor is weird, a good many are and some are really weird.  Mostly they mean no harm, they just have no clue.

[derspiess]

He will probably be weirded out that someone is coming to his office hours at all, this will give you the decisive octagon advantage.

Office hours seemed strange. They were always like come on down whenever you feel like - and it was like yeah but what am I going to say?

Yeah, that was how I viewed it up until my senior year (and a half).  The ones in my class that were always meeting with the professor seemed like nerds or suckups or whatever.  But I realized late in the game the value of taking advantage of office hours, if for no other reason to establish a positive rapport with the prof. 

Once I started making use of their office hours, what I'd often do is meet with them the first week or two of the term and tell them what I wanted to get from the class, both in terms of what I was specifically interested to learn about and my goal in terms of final grade.  Not necessarily asking for better grades per se, but sort of giving them a heads up that I'd be "bugging" them from time to time to make sure I was on the right track and to explore any options for extra credit.  I wouldn't over-do it, but I'd try to meet with them maybe 4 or more times throughout the semester.

They always seemed to react positively to that.  Just wish I had started doing it sooner-- my GPA definitely would've benefited from it.

[Malthus]

  Not necessarily asking for better grades per se, but sort of giving them a heads up that I'd be "bugging" them from time to time to make sure I was on the right track and to explore any options for extra credit.

?

[derspiess]

  Not necessarily asking for better grades per se, but sort of giving them a heads up that I'd be "bugging" them from time to time to make sure I was on the right track and to explore any options for extra credit.

?

I once had an old lady Spanish professor perv on me during her office hours.  Weird experience.

[merithyn]

The insularity of the professor's life are both a comfort to those who don't adjust well and a reinforcement to those tendencies to be weird.  It happens in all the areas, and while not every professor is weird, a good many are and some are really weird.  Mostly they mean no harm, they just have no clue.

That's pretty much what I imagine is the situation here.