The war on men

[merithyn]

D agreed that he lives in a village.

Just saw that. Well, that does explain his provincial attitude on a lot of these things.

[derspiess]

Several men have told me point blank that they don't want their women comparing them in the bedroom with past lovers, which is why they prefer women who have had fewer lovers. Granted, the men who have told me this were mostly all geeks, so chances are it's in the demographic, but it at least made more sense then this whole idea that she's had sex so she's going to cheat thing.

I think it must be the demographic.  I just don't get that mindset.

The reasons you're giving are... well, silly to me, other than the STD thing. "Ick factor"? Really? What, you think some guy's semen from two years ago is still clinging inside her?

I understand that sounds silly, but the thought of my significant other having been plowed by large numbers of men just grosses me out.  Sort of like the stigma attached to an otherwise normal girl who screws some gross or really weird guy.  It might not make sense to you, but we all have our own likes/dislikes and pet peeves.

Embarrassment? Embarrassed of what? That she dated before she met you?

Eh, no.  I never said I insisted upon virginity so you guys need to stop playing that game.  Embarrassment of being seriously involved with a girl that has a slutty past.  That so many guys know her 'secrets', so to speak.  The obvious jokes.  Disapproval from friends/family.  Also makes dating her less special if so many other guys have had the chance.  Less market value, so to speak.

Now, the STD thing makes perfect sense, especially when you consider that something like half the population in the US supposedly has genital warts/herpes. But that doesn't explain the double standard, unless women are really just that stupid compared to men when it comes to this kind of thing.

Well, we've sorta veered into personal preferences here.  I guess that wouldn't necessarily support a double standard.

[derspiess]

D agreed that he lives in a village.

Just saw that. Well, that does explain his provincial attitude on a lot of these things.

Far from provincial, toots.  Traditional, yes.  You can call me outdated if you like.  But I'm not the slightest bit provincial.

[garbon]

One can be exposed to many things and hold onto provincial attitudes/views. See Jos.

[derspiess]

One can be exposed to many things and hold onto provincial attitudes/views. See Jos.

I guess.  But I don't think that's the case with me. 

[garbon]

Fair enough.

[Viking]

To Siegy, based on previous posts, the answer is yes, I'm pretty sure. From what derSpiess has said, I think he'd consider her a slut as well and thus suspect afterwards as well. I don't think she's the kind of person Legbiter, Viking, Valmy or Drakken are talking about when they speak of a slut (correct me if I'm wrong, though).

I don't use the phrase slut pejoratively. I actually a flashman tag when using it. Women love sex just as much as we do when they allow themselves to do so. It's just that it gets drilled into them that she shouldn't enjoy it and that showing that they enjoy it makes them morally suspect. I don't think that enjoying sex has anything to do with morality, I do, however, think that a woman who enjoys her sex will make me a sandwich and that me enjoying sex will under no circumstances lead me to marry (though it is certainly an advantage is I do).

In an age of safe sex I think the next natural set is to separate sex from family and procreation.

[derspiess]

I don't use the phrase slut pejoratively. I actually a flashman tag when using it. Women love sex just as much as we do when they allow themselves to do so. It's just that it gets drilled into them that she shouldn't enjoy it and that showing that they enjoy it makes them morally suspect. I don't think that enjoying sex has anything to do with morality, I do, however, think that a woman who enjoys her sex will make me a sandwich and that me enjoying sex will under no circumstances lead me to marry (though it is certainly an advantage is I do).

In an age of safe sex I think the next natural set is to separate sex from family and procreation.

I read this 4 times and still have no clue what you're saying 

[derspiess]

Fair enough.

I'm actually a lot more metropolitan than most of you would assume.

[merithyn]

Fair enough.

I'm actually a lot more metropolitan than most of you would assume.

I was teasing.

[merithyn]

I think it must be the demographic.  I just don't get that mindset.

I understand that sounds silly, but the thought of my significant other having been plowed by large numbers of men just grosses me out.  Sort of like the stigma attached to an otherwise normal girl who screws some gross or really weird guy.  It might not make sense to you, but we all have our own likes/dislikes and pet peeves.

Eh, no.  I never said I insisted upon virginity so you guys need to stop playing that game.  Embarrassment of being seriously involved with a girl that has a slutty past.  That so many guys know her 'secrets', so to speak.  The obvious jokes.  Disapproval from friends/family.  Also makes dating her less special if so many other guys have had the chance.  Less market value, so to speak.

Well, we've sorta veered into personal preferences here.  I guess that wouldn't necessarily support a double standard.

Since this is primarily stated as personal preference, there isn't much to say. We know that you and I disagree on our views of the male/female dynamic, and this appears to just be a continuation on that theme.

[HVC]

For what it's worth, what little this topic has come up in my real life, the guys I know who wouldn't date "sluts" said their views are in line with derspiess in that it's an overall "ick factor" rather than a fear of comparison to other men. Haven't talked about it at length with any of my friends, so I don't know specifically what the ick is, but that's the general theme the few times it was mentioned at all (usually when talking about someone else girlfriend and or someone who hit on one of my friends).

But this thread got my thinking. I'm at the age where I really don't want to get married (maybe not to the degree of Drakken ), and I've only ever dated one girl where the thought even crossed my mind (before I quickly and mercilessly chased it away) and I honestly can't say if I would marry a "slut". That kind of makes me sad. I mean I've dated girls that could be construed as sluts, even got in fight over a girl, but it was never serious in any way.

[Capetan Mihali]

  Finally a decent thread.

[Jacob]

For you information, 85% of women find statistics talk on first date very charming.  I don't have any data for second dates, but I'm sure the pattern still holds.

[Capetan Mihali]

In all seriousness, can we get a round of applause for DGuller?  One of the most consistently funny posters we have.  I think his forum rep as a debater leads people to his miss or misinterpret his good one-liners, which are uncommonly frequent.