Languish's church attendence

[Ed Anger]

I do love a fire and brimstone speech by some old cracker baptist preacher. The younger preachers just don't have it.

A good friend of mine's father passed away recently, and I attended the service for him at your typical older-congregation-inner-city Dazzling Urbanite Baptist church;  I tell you, there may have been a dead guy in the room, but it was a total blast.  It wasn't a funeral service, it was a celebration.  The usher corp doing their little processional march, the choir singing the relaxer right out of their collective hair, the Minister dropping that bass in his voice while hurtling himself towards the crescendo.  There's a certain hypnotic cadence and rhythm to it, you just can't help but groove to it. 

And the hats....girl, do the ladies break out their hats.

I'm tell you all, seriously:  if you ever feel down and out in life, man, you go sit in on an old-school black Baptist church service (avoid the AME ones though, they don't count).  It is, quite frankly, invigorating in every sense of the word.  And they don't give two shits what color you are, you are all Jesus' chillins.

I love the black churches. And man, when they do charity work, they work. Even though you know the preacher is pocketing a bit for himself. NICE MERCEDES REVEREND.

[DGuller]

PS: I sort of dig the banana hammock on the male temple garment.

Seems very practical.  You've got an emergency pocket there in case you forget to put on your pants when you leave the house.

[Jaron]

Why do you feel awkward, Lettow? PM me if you want to talk about it. I have some literature I could share with you.

If you'd prefer, you can also go to http://mormon.org/chat/ and live chat with the missionaries.

Because, like you said, it is unprofessional people giving witness to their testimonies. They are nice people, but not especially good orators. Then they immediately violate my notion of what is too personal with their stories. Afterwards, there is the division into gender/age bracket determined groups- I remember the aaronic section was basically a labor conscription pool, with various tasks that people in the community needed done being handed off to "volunteers." Bleh. Also, their namby-pamby psuedo-sacrament was proffered upon me, when I couldn't in good conscience accept it.


I remember when I was younger I invited missionaries to come to my house. My mother was furious and uncivil with them- and a passing baptist who had intended to sell (!) religious papers to us gave them for free out of concern for my soul and a desire not to leave the mormon pamphlets go unanswered.

Missionaries the way Mormonism does it just doesn't click with me. They are just children raised into the faith, and scarcely qualified to be doing what they are doing. It is as much to indoctrinate them as it actually proselytize

Ara ara! did that sound cynical? I don't mean to be mean- they are some great folks and I think highly of their faith.

Let me bring peace to your troubled mind. There is great comfort in the words of a sagely man preaching to us about the works of God and warning us of the vices of the earthly kingdom. Yet there is great strength and wisdom in the words of your brothers and sisters; Is it not a comfort to know you are not alone in your struggle? Is it not a blessing to know that others walk the same path and find strength in their faith? Is it not an inspiration to you?

Yes, Mormons are raised steeped in their faith. Yes, it is a foregone conclusion most will serve a mission. Yet, few serve out of obligation but rather because they have felt a calling from God and wish to share the joy of the gospel with other people. It is not an attempt to conquer and convert; It is a joyous offer - an invitation and nothing more. They so offer the salvation and the key to the Celestial Kingdom, but they do not force it.

A good portion of what a missionary does is based on works and not baptism headcounts. They do acts of service for people just like you and I: They wash our cars, clean our rooms, rake our leaves and do our grocery shoppings. Trust not in the words of Jaron, but bear witness to the message I bring you:  I invite you to pursue the study for yourself, read, pray and God will answer your uneasiness with enlightenment.

God be with you, Lettow.

[Ed Anger]

That is where you store part of your year's worth of rations.

[Lettow77]

<moé mormon propaganda>

That's absolutely adorable and tells me you are living a wonderful life out there in Deseret. I'd be delighted if some Mormon would baptize me after I die.

[Caliga]

+1 re: Black churches are OSSUM.  Went to a wedding for one of my former secretaries at one here in Louisville.  After "you may now kiss the bride" dude bent her backward and started making out with her.   Someone in the audience said "awww, my BROTHA!" Stereotypes were reinforced and Cal's heart was gladdened.  Also, the chicken at the reception was the shiznit.

[Ed Anger]

Fried Chicken I hope.

[Lettow77]

 I could never get on board with the fried chicken and watermelon thing, simply because these are delicious foods and anyone I know who doesn't like them is a yankee or johnny foreigner or some such. When seeking to cast out for a less universal food that is ubiquitous amongst local black folks, it'd have to be hot fries, jungle juice or buffalo wings.

(Black people also have a disproportionate observed preference for sprite when choosing their carbonated beverage.)

[Caliga]

Fried Chicken I hope.

Duh.  I can't remember if there were ribs or not.

[Caliga]

I could never get on board with the fried chicken and watermelon thing, simply because these are delicious foods and anyone I know who doesn't like them is a yankee or johnny foreigner or some such. When seeking to cast out for a less universal food that is ubiquitous amongst local black folks, it'd have to be hot fries, jungle juice or buffalo wings.

(Black people also have a disproportionate observed preference for sprite when choosing their carbonated beverage.)

In my experience it's grape or orange soda or Yoo-Hoo.

[Lettow77]

 Grape/Orange soda are other strong favourites, you are absolutely right. I haven't seen the yoo-hoo thing, although I have (had? it's been years..) a passing fondness for it myself.

[Jaron]

I agree with Cal; They like drinks that remind them of Kool Aid - strawberry, orange, grape. The more militant ones may drink chocolate milk to spite white people and their dairy industry.

We'll need to hear from CdM; I fear Cal and I lack the experience on negro culture to speak with the authority that he can.

[Barrister]

This thread reminds me that shamefully no-longer-baby-Tim remains unbaptized.

We'll have to get going on that once the new baby arrives.

[11B4V]

I dont go. The church is evil.

[Valmy]

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