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Retard kings of old

Started by Threviel, February 23, 2012, 03:37:48 AM

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Solmyr

Hey, they produced Cleopatra.

Drakken

Quote from: Solmyr on February 23, 2012, 11:42:53 AM
Hey, they produced Cleopatra.

Cleopatra wasn't exactly a retard at birth. She ruthlessly killed her own siblings and played two Roman top leaders and politicians like they were fools.

In fact, she's the proof that inbreeding doesn't always produce morons.

Solmyr

That's what I meant. Even if the Lagids were all fatasses, clearly they did something right with Cleo. ;)

Drakken

#18
Quote from: Solmyr on February 23, 2012, 12:30:55 PM
That's what I meant. Even if the Lagids were all fatasses, clearly they did something right with Cleo. ;)

All accounts of the time, and her face on the coins, point that she wasn't specially physically attractive either. She had the Lagid protruding eyes and thick neck as well. ;)

Fireblade

Wait, the future Queen of Sweden has Downs?

Grey Fox

Quote from: Fireblade on February 23, 2012, 01:12:08 PM
Wait, the future Queen of Sweden has Downs?

Who knows, she was born today.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Ideologue

Quote from: Drakken on February 23, 2012, 11:31:11 AM
Truth be told, I think there's more to Carlos II lack of mental and physical health than simple result of inbreeding, although it surely didn't help.

Compare with the Lagid dynasty in Egypt, whose inbreeding was much worse, literally among siblings and other close parents. And yet most of the known defects in the Ptolemies were only physical and most of them could rule on their own - if they survived the cutthroat nature of their family relationships.

QuoteA number of the Ptolemaic dynasty are described as being extremely obese, whilst sculptures and coins reveal prominent eyes and swollen necks. Familial Graves' disease could explain the swollen necks and eye prominence (exophthalmos), although this is unlikely to occur in the presence of morbid obesity.

In view of the familial nature of these findings, members of this dynasty likely suffered from a multi-organ fibrotic condition such as Erdheim–Chester disease or a familial multifocal fibrosclerosis where thyroiditis, obesity and ocular proptosis may have all occurred concurrently.[6]

You get what you put in.  Ultimately, every life form on Earth is inbred.  Iirc, the problem with close relatives producing offspring is that it increases the chances of deleterious recessive traits coming to the fore and over long periods developing new deleterious recessive traits.  That is, in theory, if you had ideal humans with no problematic recessive traits, you could have them reproduce indefinitely, and other than novel mutations, their descendants would be okay.
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

Ideologue

Quote from: Drakken on February 23, 2012, 11:47:33 AM
Quote from: Solmyr on February 23, 2012, 11:42:53 AM
Hey, they produced Cleopatra.

Cleopatra wasn't exactly a retard at birth. She ruthlessly killed her own siblings and played two Roman top leaders and politicians like they were fools.

In fact, she's the proof that inbreeding doesn't always produce morons.

And sometimes it produces hot bitches.

Oh is it not safe for work, huh?  If your boss don't understand art, you don't need that job.  Though maybe you should be more productive.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c3/Cleopatra_and_Caesar_by_Jean-Leon-Gerome.jpg
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

Sahib

Quote from: Drakken on February 23, 2012, 12:34:04 PM
Quote from: Solmyr on February 23, 2012, 12:30:55 PM
That's what I meant. Even if the Lagids were all fatasses, clearly they did something right with Cleo. ;)

All accounts of the time, and her face on the coins, point that she wasn't specially physically attractive either. She had the Lagid protruding eyes and thick neck as well. ;)

Modern reconstruction:
Stonewall=Worst Mod ever

Ideologue

People always look like shit on ancient coins.

She was also supposed to have a beautiful voice iirc.
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

Ed Anger

That cunt was the worst thing to happen to Mark Antony. THINK WITH THE BIG BRAIN.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Ideologue

#26
Lol, I googled "Cleopatra VII modern reconstruction" ('cause I want to see where the photo is from, and determine if there's a good reason why that necklace is so badly photoshopped on), and one of the first hits is this about.com article:

Quote from: retardstalk.comThat Cleopatra was an African queen is certain -- Egypt is, after all, in Africa -- but was Cleopatra black?

Yeah.  OK.

My dad knew some African Studies professor back in the 70s who claimed that Hannibal was black.  See, back then, you didn't actually have to know shit to be a professor.  Oh, how times have... changed?

I want to read the companion articles, "Was Ivan Grozny Japanese?" "Was Hernan Cortez an Australian aborigine?", "Was Ronald Reagan an alien from Nebula Space Hunter M?", and "Was Franklin Roosevelt an angel sent by God?"
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

Sahib

Quote from: Ideologue on February 23, 2012, 04:23:16 PM
Lol, I googled "Cleopatra VII modern reconstruction" ('cause I want to see where the photo is from, and determine if there's a good reason why that necklace is so badly photoshopped on), and one of the first hits is this about.com article:

http://www.forumancientcoins.com/numiswiki/view.asp?key=What%20Did%20The%20Julio%20Claudians%20Really%20Look%20Like%20%20Reconstructions-%20Joe%20Geranio
Stonewall=Worst Mod ever

Ideologue

Marcus Agrippa looks like Moose from Archie.

So I guess the explanation is "Fuck it, this has to be done by 5." :P
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

HVC

What's with nero's neck beard
Being lazy is bad; unless you still get what you want, then it's called "patience".
Hubris must be punished. Severely.