Kim Jong-Il Dead

[Syt]

Time to buy another couple of bricks of 5.56mm

Those won't do much against mutants.

[Razgovory]

Thank God.  Hopefully his successor will be out maneuvered and the whole thing will fall apart.

[11B4V]

Thank God.  Hopefully his successor will be out maneuvered and the whole thing will fall apart.

Is there any idea who that might be?

[11B4V]

His father began grooming him for the job only three years ago after suffering a stroke. In contrast, Kim Jong Il himself was groomed over a period of 14 years before taking the reins from his father, Kim Il Sung, in 1994.

He was competitive at sports. He didn't like to lose, like any of us. For him, basketball was everything.

School friendThough Kim Jong Un can boast an array of titles, it's unclear whether he actually has any decision-making authority.

"I think it's premature to conclude that Kim Jong Un will make all the shots," said Han Park, director of the Center for the Study of Global Issues at the University of Georgia.

"Kim Jong Un is not going to be expected, nor is he qualified, to make tough decisions. But the party system is there, and the decision-making mechanism that has been established by Kim Jong Il will continue. And therefore the succession process -- even in intermediate terms -- should be smooth," Park said.

It is likely that Kim Jong Un's uncle, Jang Song Thaek, will rule behind the scenes as Kim Jong Un trains on the job, the global intelligence firm Stratfor said.

The new Mr. Evil.....

[jimmy olsen]

The only thing I have to contribute to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJNBfBr-OGU&feature=share

Fucking awesome, though now I'm having visions of what a crazy military dictatorship in a Pop obsessed 21st century country could really do.

The only dictatorship of the 20th to be evil in style was the Nazis and we haven't had one since. Time I think for another.

[Martinus]

If the end is going to end in 2012, that looks like an apt prelude. 

I will be so fucked off if I spent the last year of existence at law school.

It looks like even the propaganda's accepting the degeneration of the Kims.  From Great to Dear, to the merely Respectable Leader:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/dec/19/kim-jong-un-north-korea-leader
I think next up is the So-So Leader.

You are at law school? Wow, I must have missed that.

I think I must be an awesome role model for gays here - you are the second gay Languishite who started to study law after joining Languish.

[jimmy olsen]

Fat boy speaks 

The Doubts of Kim Jung Un

Kim Jong-Un Privately Doubting He's Crazy Enough To Run North Korea

December 18, 2011

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—In surprisingly candid remarks today following his father's death, Kim Jong-un, heir apparent to North Korea's highest government post, expressed doubt that he was sufficiently out of his mind to succeed longtime dictator Kim Jong-il.

Enlarge ImageKim says the task of somehow becoming "as loony tunes as [his] dad" is a daunting one.

While emphasizing that he was definitely completely insane and would likely become even more so as leader of North Korea, the younger Kim nevertheless wondered if he could ever be enough of a lunatic to truly replace the most unhinged dictator on the planet.

"Obviously, I know I was handpicked because I'm super crazy," said Kim, the youngest of the late 69-year-old dictator's four known children. "But my father was just so great at what he did. Did you know the people of North Korea heard his voice exactly once, for like five seconds? How nuts is that? Honestly, I look at stuff like that and I think, 'Wow, there's just no way I can ever top Dad.'"

"We're talking about a world-class nutjob here," he added.

Kim told reporters that since emerging as the presumptive next-in-line to lead North Korea, he had spent countless hours trying to come up with his own brand of craziness that would honor the tradition set forth by his father and grandfather, Kim Il-sung, but would also set him apart. After discovering that many of his best ideas had already been taken by his father—including making citizens bow toward wall-sized portraits of himself or claiming to be a demigod whose moods directly influence the weather—Kim admitted he had grown frustrated.

"At this point, I'm not sure what's left for me to do, really," he said. "I mean, according to the Ministry of Information, Dad hit 11 holes-in-one the first time he ever played golf. I'm dead serious. Dad had never even picked up a golf club before, and he hit 38 under par. Where am I supposed to go from there? I guess I can say I ran a marathon in 20 minutes, but isn't that pretty much the same thing?"

"It is the same thing, isn't it?" Kim added. "Ugh."

Kim, who in his rare public appearances wears a plain dark suit, said he ultimately hoped to cultivate an eccentric, yet vaguely sinister look as iconic as his father's pompadour, drab parka, and sunglasses, perhaps something "even nuttier" involving canes, a large yellow raincoat, or possibly a motorized scooter.

Other ideas Kim has had for proving his insanity include placing anyone shorter than himself under permanent house arrest, issuing a new national currency every 90 days, normalizing relations with South Korea, and replacing all medicines with synthetic replications of his own saliva.

"Of course, I have to be careful not to come off as too crazy, because then it would just feel forced and no one would buy it," said Kim, noting that he was working on some slogans that North Korean schoolchildren would be forced to chant three times daily. "Then again, maybe having it come off as forced would make me seem even crazier, because what kind of a maniac would go to such lengths to outdo his father? Right? Or is that just a cop-out?"

Although Kim's birthday is already recognized as a national holiday and any criticism of him is punishable by indefinite sentences in re-education camps, Kim suggested that the stress of living up to his father's insanity has already taken a toll.

"For years, I haven't even enjoyed the things I used to love, like forcing starving people to perform a five-hour dance routine in my honor, because I spend the whole time obsessing over whether I'm being wacko enough," Kim admitted. "That's what was so special about Dad, you know: He never worried about all that stuff, he just acted like himself. What can I say? The old man set the loony bar pretty high."

Added Kim, "God, I'm really going to miss him, you know?"

[Razgovory]

Thank God.  Hopefully his successor will be out maneuvered and the whole thing will fall apart.

Is there any idea who that might be?

Curiously, it seems to be a toss up between Dguller and Fahdiz.

[Josquius]

You are at law school? Wow, I must have missed that.

I think I must be an awesome role model for gays here - you are the second gay Languishite who started to study law after joining Languish.

Maybe I should turn gaysexual, seems to be a lot of money in it.

[Valdemar]

The new Mr. Evil.....

Looks like he ate all the food his people should have had

V

[Camerus]

Hard times for dictators in twenty eleven.

It's hard to imagine the North Korean state can continue much longer in its present form. I predict attempted moderate, gradual reforms on the Deng Xiaoping model.

[11B4V]

The new Mr. Evil.....

Looks like he ate all the food his people should have had

V

I take one ooorder McDumster and Deit Coke. To Go.

[lustindarkness]

Is this the beginning of the zombie apocalypse?

[Viking]

I like how the first reports of this were not "Kim is dead" but rather "DPRK newspapers report that Kim is dead". It's almost a de-facto admission that nothing said by the north can be presumed true.

[Solmyr]

Well, he probably died already a while ago.