NCAA Football '11-'12

[MadImmortalMan]

I think this is how it might go down:

Big Ten: +Missouri, +Kansas, +Syracuse, +Pittsburgh

Pac 16: +Texas, +OU, +OSU, +Texas Tech

ACC: +Cincy, +USF, +UConn, +Louisville

SEC: +TAMU, +West Virginia

Rationale: I think Texas is most likely to go to the Pac-16 and so is OU, that brings OSU. I think Texas Tech will end up there because they are a Texas school and they can slap Texas/Tech/OSU in the same division to help things, and they will want to go to 16 if they go 15.

When things really fall apart I expect Syracuse and Pittsburgh to go to the Big-10 pretty quickly, both fit in very nicely in terms of academics, both are mediocre but storied football programs and both have major basketball programs. Those are all things that fit in perfectly with the Big-10.

I think the Big-10 will want to go up to a full sized 16 and that leads to them probably grabbing Kansas (I think Kansas ends up here instead of the Pac-16, who would take Kansas over Texas Tech if they could, at least I think.) I think Missouri ends up here because I think West Virginia ends up going to the SEC instead of Missouri and that makes Missouri attractive to the Big-10 in terms of geography, money, and etc.

I see Louisville, UConn, Cincy, and USF ending up in the ACC for a few reasons. Firstly the ACC is undoubtedly going to be the worst football conference when all is said and done, I think everyone knows that. They will essentially be getting last pick, and I think everyone knows that. They will probably want to maintain things as being east-oriented as possible, so they'll grab UConn, Louisville, and Cincy to turn the ACC into the undeniable basketball powerhouse conference and all three of those schools have potentially decent football programs. USF gets in on the back of improving football, and a large stadium in the football crazy and lucrative state of Florida.

Rutgers, Baylor, Kansas State, and Iowa State end up fucked. Various teams that are in limbo like TCU also probably end up fucked.

The way I'd like to see it go as a guy who likes the Big East is for the Big East to keep all of its current members and grab some of the lesser desired teams when the Big-XII implodes. This will leave the Big East as "good enough for a BCS bid" (where it has been since 2003 when Virginia Tech/Miami/BC left) which means all of those teams will still have a realistic shot of regular BCS trips.

In the Big 10 I could see Pitt winning about as often as PSU, and Syracuse about as often as Northwestern (i.e. it'd be something to mark an epoch.)

In the ACC UConn, Louisville, Cincy, and USF would probably win maybe as often as Wake Forest. It isn't impossible for teams like those four to win an ACC championship, but over time I think heavies like FSU and VT will still mostly dominate.

In the SEC West Virginia will make a lot more money but will win the conference about as often as Kentucky.

I think for all the Big East member schools the various options above are better money wise but much worse for them in terms of ability to win conference championships and go to big bowls.

Keep in mind that the main objective will be to add media markets. So for example the B10 will want to take Rutgers and Mizzou, not Kansas and Pitt..

[Ed Anger]

I think this is how it might go down:

Big Ten: +Pittsburgh

Fuck Mark May.

[FunkMonk]

First of all, tradition and pageantry mean nothing to me. I watch college football and basketball for the same reasons I watch AAA baseball. I love watching the sport and want to see the pro prospects play.

I hope the Red Sox get moved to the NL West, change their colors to purple, rip down Fenway Park and build a 1970s style field turf symmetrical stadium, and change their name to the 'Blazing Thunder of Boston'.

Actually you would probably like that shit.

Adendum - College tradition and pageantry mean nothing to me.

[dps]

I'll say it again--16 team conferences in college football don't make sense.  I agree that it looks like that's where we're headed, but I'm not particularly concerned with the details of who goes where, because I figure that such an alignment won't last.  The biggest thing that'll hold a system like that together will be that because of the rule that a conference has to have 12 members in order to stage a championship game, the natural solution of a 16 team conference simply splitting into 2 conferences with 8 teams will be unattractive.

[Scipio]

The only thing I care about in college sports is that the right teams win and the right teams lose.  I don't give a shit about anything else.

So is that Michigan or Ole Miss these days?  I bet you enjoyed that game Saturday night.

Michigan and Ole Miss win; Ohio State, Notre Dame, and USC lose.

[PDH]

Remember, this is from the moron who thinks Abe Lincoln riding a bear while firing a machine gun is cool.

[Valmy]

Texas fan describing our feelings about being UCLA's bitch:

UCLA pisses me off. And not for the reasons you think.

It's not because they're 3-0 against Texas in our last three contests. They were the better team in 1997 (Route 66 trauma flashback) and 1998 (5 foot 8 inch walk-on Jeremy Jones manned up on 6 foot 5 inch Brian Poli-Dixon and volleyball pro Danny Farmer, this will end well) and 2010 was a debacle in all respects. If anything we owe them our thanks for ending the Mackovic Era and serving as first warning for Mack Brown to clean house. Besides, refreshingly, most UCLA fans aren't even aware they beat us. They were playing Ultimate Frisbee or roller blading. We're used to fans dog piling on the 50 yard line and tearing down goal posts. Aggies put a Texas win on their work e-mail auto-signatures for a year and Sooners will taunt you as they hand you a Beef Mexi-melt in the Taco Bell drive thru.

So, all things being equal, it's pretty cool losing to UCLA.

Texas fan: "Hey, my Longhorns are hoping to get some revenge on you this year."

UCLA fan: "Like, in sports or whatever?"

Texas fan: "Yes, you beat us last year in football."

UCLA fan: "Tommy Maddox still our QB?"

It's not because I dislike UCLA. When I play the imagination game of where I'd go to school had I grown up elsewhere, in California, I always end up a Bruin. There are certain schools where, when I meet their alums, I have a general sense of "Oh, they're like us." UCLA, Michigan, Florida. It's pretty predictable. I like UCLA. Good people.

It's not because they catch us at our worst. UCLA is the neighbor watering their front yard at 3:00am when you skid into your garbage cans and step out of your car cursing as a Jim Beam bottle rolls onto the driveway. They're the hotel maid who repeatedly screams, "EEZZZZ HOUUUUZZZZZZ KEEEEEPINGGG!" at 7:00 am on New Years Day. They're the UPS guy ringing your doorbell on Friday at 5:30 pm just as you're settling on to the upstairs toilet with Game of Thrones.

They have a knack for this. Predictably, this Saturday, we're starting brand new QBs and half of our two deep has trouble getting into rated R movies. Still, it's our own fault.

It's not because I dislike Southern California. Living for six years in San Francisco is supposed to have taught me that LA's obsession with appearance, status, and credit card debt represents all that's wrong in the world, but Northern Californians do the same things and disguise them with yoga babble and yurts. I admire SoCal for the loathsome honesty of its decaying dream.

No, UCLA offends me as a football purist.

I watched both UCLA games this year. The bottom line is this: UCLA has a bunch of talented dudes who don't care all that much. And with respect to talent, I'm not talking about recruiting classes, or rankings, or other supportive bullshit that people use when they can't trust their own eyes (though UCLA has all those things too). I'm talking about pure on-field talent. UCLA is good. They have two NFL RBs – one a slick slasher, the other an angry bowling ball, a 6 foot 8 mutant TE who can run and has hands, appears to be open on every play, and had 100 yards receiving in one half against Houston. Naturally, they threw to him only once against San Jose St (a TD, of course) and he's 2nd string. They have a 6-5 220 pound WR named Nelson Rosario who alternates between playing like Lord Nelson and Rosario Dawson and the OL is massive. They also have an array of highly recruited QBs who all excel at being injured except when playing Texas.

Overall, they returned something like 57 of their 22 starters (this number is imprecise) so inexperience is no issue.

Defensively, they're like watching a clown riding a Vespa through a car wash, but it's not because they lack talent. It's just a bunch of fairly talented guys running around randomly, somewhat bored. Their schemes appear to have been drawn up with bottle caps and twigs during warm ups. "Who wants to play DT? You Marsh? OK, you be DT this game." During one part of a game, I observed their NFL talent DE Datone Jones during a run play that went to the other side of the field. He stopped, placed a hand on his hip, and watched the play unfold with detached bemusement. It was awesome.

Against Houston, UCLA went down 31-14 at halftime, looked at each other while eating orange slices and said, "Hey, what if we just tried – just to see how it feels?" UCLA stormed back and the Cougars eked out a 38-34 victory. UCLA racked up 550+ yards of offense. And lost. Kevin Prince was promptly injured because he wasn't playing Texas. Their backup appeared to be better anyway.

Against San Jose St, a team firmly in the bottom 10% of college football starting their backup QB, UCLA was tied 17 all in the late 3rd quarter. They went on to win 27-17 after a UCLA player said to 240 pound RB Derrick Coleman – "Yo, DC, I bet you can't run over like eleven dudes this quarter." Coleman said, "Bet!" and then ran over twelve while averaging 10 yards a carry.

The most irritating part of this is not that they don't try, but it's that they won't have the decency not to try against us. The prospect of national television, more than 50,000 people in the Rose Bowl, and a name program will challenge their athletic pride. The same athletes who slumbered through two and half quarters of the Houston game and the entire San Jose St. game will decide they want to light up the Longhorns. The kicker is that if they do, they'll likely luxuriate in the win, beat Oregon State on the road, and, interest diminished, lose to Stanford by 37 points in Palo Alto. "Man, Stanford playing all hard and shit. F this." Mean regressed once the Longhorns leave town.

If UCLA had any decency at all, they would lie down for us like they will against Utah or Arizona State. But no, these assholes are probably going to try. And we'll have a close game and possibly even lose in some heartbreaking fashion. And they'll do it in uniforms designed by florists.

Thanks, Bruins.

Yeah I fully expect Texas to be crushed this weekend.  And it will be totally surreal.  There are some traditions that you can count on.

[jimmy olsen]

Maryland's uniforms look a lot better this week I think.

http://collegefootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/14/maryland-uni-watch-week-3/

[CountDeMoney]

"a deranged Medieval jester"...? MOTHERFUCK


All black against WVU? Why not.  It's usually a funeral anyway.

[CountDeMoney]

Both Army and Navy are breaking out "futuristic" alternate unis for their matchup in December.

The uniform features the legendary Naval phrase "Don't Tread on Me" which is visible throughout the uniform, both on the back inner collar as well as the upper sock. The time-tested Navy anchor is also prominent on both the front collar and pant leg.

Navy is known for its classic white gloves and dapper style, so the Nike Pro Combat gloves are predominantly traditional white. These interlocking gloves provide a stunning anchor visual for Navy, sure to strike fear in their Army opponents when they fittingly clash in our nation's capital on December 10.

The technologically advanced Nike Pro Combat system of dress features a baselayer exemplifying the Navy Jack featuring a snakeskin look with a new modern interpretation. This first Navy Jack harkens back to the one-year anniversary of 9/11 when all U.S. Navy ships flew the flag to honor those who were lost. Additionally, the rattlesnake features 13 layers representative of the original 13 colonies.

[jimmy olsen]

The Navy unis look kind of cool, not feeling Army's though.

[CountDeMoney]

When Penn State changes their uniforms, that's when it's time to panic. 
It'll have to be after Paterno dies, because if he isn't, then he will be.

[jimmy olsen]

Urlacher's mom died.

I hope for Brees sake Urlacher doesn't make it to the game, or we might end up with an other QB getting his spine operated on.

[Valmy]

Both Army and Navy are breaking out "futuristic" alternate unis for their matchup in December.

Oh for fucksake.

[PDH]

When is Texas going to break out the unis with the laserbeams shooting from the shoulderpads?