The Off Topic Topic

[CountDeMoney]

That's as bad as the letter Marc Kasowitz wrote on behalf of Trump's legal team, and definitely worse than the physician's letter Trump had dictated for himself.

Nope.  The letter Trump wrote about his amazing health, where all his tests for disease and disability came back positive, will never be topped.  It cannot be topped, for it is the acme of ignorance piled on top of arrogance.

I wasn't questioning the quality of Dr. Trumpenstein's letter--it was a truly magnificent document in all its gold-plated and Cheetos-dusted glory--but comparing it to the sheer amount of errors in the letters from alleged lawyers.

[Oexmelin]

Later on he mentions "Roy Moore," "Judge Roy S. Moore," "Roy S. Moore" and "Judge Moore" - are these all additional clients? 

This calls for a chart.

[The Minsky Moment]

Or maybe it's not that unusual.  Cease and desist are cut and paste boilerplate scutwork, no?  Maybe they all read like they were written by Simple Jack, the only difference being this one is sent in the middle of a media storm.

This letter looks like someone found some boilerplate, used google translate to translate it into Japanese, then translated that into Arabic, then translated it back into English again.  And filled out the rest by farming it out to a 4th grade remedial English class.

[The Minsky Moment]

For example, there is a paragraph in the letter that begins:

Thus, do you know this clearly, yet significant difference which your client's publication(s) have failed to distinguish. And the legal requirement that your client retract the stories, to include the details which clearly are false.

You could take Timmy's 10 most incoherent posts, scramble them all together, rearrange the words randomly and it would still make more sense than this. 

As far as I can tell, he is saying that the law requires that the defendant retract the stories it published, in order to add false details to them.  It's not a correct statement of the law, but I guess I can see why Roy Moore would want that to happen.

[Monoriu]

I'm trying to think what sequence of events could have led to a letter like this coming out of a law firm concerning such a high profile client.

Or maybe it's not that unusual.  Cease and desist are cut and paste boilerplate scutwork, no?  Maybe they all read like they were written by Simple Jack, the only difference being this one is sent in the middle of a media storm.

In the civil service, the drafts go through multiple levels.  A junior civil servant does the first draft.  He then hands it to the next higher level.  That boss plays editor, and may demand any changes or redrafts as he sees fit.  It then goes to the next higher level, and the same happens.  By the time it goes out, only the most boring official-speak is left. 

[Josquius]

Hey Squeeze old boy, when's the last time you were in Chavistan, and did you find that your attitudes towards local behavior had changed at all?

I've always disliked charvas, chavs and all related miscreants.
There's a difference between the working class (my background) and the sub-working class (charvas)

[Razgovory]

Hilariously awful letter from Roy Moore's attorney:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/11/14/roy_moore_s_lawyer_sent_a_apocalypse_of_a_letter_threatening_local_media.html

Yikes.  I thought lawyers are trained to write clearly.  There is a lot of routine errors like changing plurals and tense and then there are sentences that simply do not make sense.  I don't know what to make of the sentence: "This is due to the careless and/or intentionally refused to advance the truth regarding our clients."  Or this one "Thus, do you know this clearly, yet significant difference which your client's publication(s) have failed to distinguish."  Is the lawyer a native English speaker?

[Grey Fox]

I can write a better legalese BS letter than that thing.

Hell, Siri probably can too.

[Valmy]

[MadBurgerMaker]

Pretty sure FedEx is just fucking with me at this point. 

My awesome new coffee mug started in Indianapolis on Monday, went to Minneapolis, and is now in some small Kansas town south of Topeka.  I mean, I guess that's progress?

[Josquius]

Pretty sure FedEx is just fucking with me at this point. 

My awesome new coffee mug started in Indianapolis on Monday, went to Minneapolis, and is now in some small Kansas town south of Topeka.  I mean, I guess that's progress?

A few pages back you'll see my aunt's friend sending a letter to my aunt from one northern English village to another via the Falkland Islands.
Yours is sort of going in the correct direction right?

[CountDeMoney]

Pretty sure FedEx is just fucking with me at this point. 

My awesome new coffee mug started in Indianapolis on Monday, went to Minneapolis, and is now in some small Kansas town south of Topeka.  I mean, I guess that's progress?

FedEx shipments go by FedEx rules, and wherever their distribution centers are, So Be It.  That has nothing to do with you.

Don't worry, you'll get used to it when they eliminate the USPS once and for all.

[MadBurgerMaker]

A few pages back you'll see my aunt's friend sending a letter to my aunt from one northern English village to another via the Falkland Islands.
Yours is sort of going in the correct direction right?

Yeah it is now.  Once they got the weird 600 mile Minnesota detour out of the way, it started back in the right direction. 

Actually now that I'm looking at a map, I wonder if they flew it up there to stick it on a truck headed down I-35, since that highway goes through both Minneapolis and San Antonio.  The little town in Kansas (Emporia) looks like it's on/very close to 35 too.

This is what happens when there isn't a Prime option for shipping.  Ugh.  How the hell do you route a letter from one town in England to another via the Falkland Islands?

[MadBurgerMaker]

FedEx shipments go by FedEx rules, and wherever their distribution centers are, So Be It.  That has nothing to do with you.

Don't worry, you'll get used to it when they eliminate the USPS once and for all.

USPS got weird with something of mine not too long ago too, shipping it around Florida for a few days before flying it straight to San Antonio and immediately sticking it on a truck for delivery.

E:  Unrelated:  The spam/sales emails I get at work are so...they're standard sales emails like car dealerships or whatever send out, but for weird nerd shit.  Just got this one:  "Why wait?? NanoDrop 8000 can be yours now!! 

How low can we go?
Unbelievably low.

Don't hit the floor! But, for a limited time, the Thermo Scientific™ NanoDrop™ 8000 UV-Vis Spectrophotometer is available at the unbelievably low price of $16,900 (USD). If you need high throughput, the NanoDrop 8000 instrument is perfect for your microvolume measurement needs. " 

Uh....I'll keep that in mind, thanks guys.

[garbon]

Pretty sure FedEx is just fucking with me at this point. 

My awesome new coffee mug started in Indianapolis on Monday, went to Minneapolis, and is now in some small Kansas town south of Topeka.  I mean, I guess that's progress?

FedEx shipments go by FedEx rules, and wherever their distribution centers are, So Be It.  That has nothing to do with you.

Don't worry, you'll get used to it when they eliminate the USPS once and for all.

It isn't like USPS is very reliable and their customer service is well...actively hostile.