Do you want your wife to use your name?

[ulmont]

Does it cost money?  It does, right?

I think it would be a nominal amount if you do it in connection with the wedding license, but there's still a certain amount of hassle involved in changing it every-fucking-where.

Not surprised to learn that South Carolina still hasn't given up on common-law marriage.

[Valmy]

When my sister got married, while she took her husband's last name she also took the opportunity to drop her first name--which she hated and never used, we always called her by her middle name anyway--and she made her maiden name her middle name since she still considered it her identity, married or not.

My buddy's wife did pretty much the same thing, as she previously had no middle name. 

I thought dropping your middle name and putting your maiden name there was what you traditionally did.  Every woman in my family did so until my wife dropped her maiden name entirely.

[Malthus]

Around Bar Mitzvah time?

Malthus' son is not a Jew I don't think.

He's gone through the Catholic childhood religious stuff, essentially to placate my wife's parents.

Serious answer: he will decide what he believes in when he's old enough. He's learning about various religions, as part of his cultural education. He wasn't born Jewish (according to the general rules) as his mother is not Jewish, but the general rule isn't followed by all Jewish denominations - he can, if he so chooses, join one in which paternal ancestry is enough - or not.

[Ed Anger]

I should have given my wife a list of Ed Anger approved names she could use.

[derspiess]

I thought dropping your middle name and putting your maiden name there was what you traditionally did.  Every woman in my family did so until my wife dropped her maiden name entirely.

I'm not familiar with that tradition.

[Valmy]

I thought dropping your middle name and putting your maiden name there was what you traditionally did.  Every woman in my family did so until my wife dropped her maiden name entirely.

I'm not familiar with that tradition.

Strange.  It seems weird that both my father's and mother's family would have independently done this.

[merithyn]

I thought dropping your middle name and putting your maiden name there was what you traditionally did.  Every woman in my family did so until my wife dropped her maiden name entirely.

I'm not familiar with that tradition.

I've heard of it, but I've never known anyone who did it. Most of the women in my family just changed their last name to their husband's and nothing else. Of course, most of the women in my dad's family don't bother getting married at all, despite repeatedly being asked by their significant others.

It doesn't matter what your names are. Crossing a border these days with kids, if you are going with only one parent, it is advisable to have a letter signed by the other to avoid trouble.

http://travel.gc.ca/travelling/children/consent-letter

Not just signed, but notarized. Of course, in order to get a passport for a child, both parents have to sign off on it no matter who is named what. A notarized letter can be used for that, too, but you can't use it for going out of the country. The letter you use to leave the country has to have the "allowed" dates to be gone. If you overstay those dates, you risk the kid being taken from you when you come back across.

[garbon]

In her first marriage, my mother took my father's name. I think she was glad to get rid of her original last name given that there is some infamy around it. Additional friction came when my father wanted (and my mother declined) her to give up his name after the divorce.  With the most recent marriage, she's slotted in her first married name as her middle name and taken new husband's name as her last name.

[Maximus]

I thought dropping your middle name and putting your maiden name there was what you traditionally did.  Every woman in my family did so until my wife dropped her maiden name entirely.

I'm not familiar with that tradition.

Strange.  It seems weird that both my father's and mother's family would have independently done this.

Among the more traditional of the Molotsch Mennonites it is traditional for boys to be given their mother's maiden name as a middle initial. The reason for this is obvious. There may be 5 John Wiebes in the phone book for your town of 500 people, but if you're lucky their mothers will have had different maiden names.

[MadImmortalMan]

Not surprised to learn that South Carolina still hasn't given up on common-law marriage.

I never understood why any--especially conservative places--would want to have that in the first place. It seems to me that making people married by some automatic mechanism if they don't make the choice to do it themselves is just asking for a spike in the future divorce rate.

[garbon]

Not surprised to learn that South Carolina still hasn't given up on common-law marriage.

I never understood why any--especially conservative places--would want to have that in the first place. It seems to me that making people married by some automatic mechanism if they don't make the choice to do it themselves is just asking for a spike in the future divorce rate.

Well don't you generally have to agree to the common-law marriage? I don't think the state forces you to be married if you don't want to be.

[MadImmortalMan]

I know in Texas it's automatic whether you like it or not. I think it was five years of co-habitation and you're hitched. It was that way when I lived there in the 90s anyway. It's probably a little different in each state.

[garbon]

I know in Texas it's automatic whether you like it or not. I think it was five years of co-habitation and you're hitched. It was that way when I lived there in the 90s anyway. It's probably a little different in each state.

Hmm, wiki suggests differently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage_in_the_United_States#Texas

Common-law marriage is known as an "informal marriage", which can be established either by declaration (registering at the county courthouse without having a ceremony), or by meeting a 3-prong test showing evidence of (1) an agreement to be married; (2) cohabitation in Texas; and (3) representation to others that the parties are married. In the actual wording of the law there is no specification on the length of time that a couple must cohabitate to meet the second requirement of the 3-prong test.

[crazy canuck]

Not surprised to learn that South Carolina still hasn't given up on common-law marriage.

I never understood why any--especially conservative places--would want to have that in the first place. It seems to me that making people married by some automatic mechanism if they don't make the choice to do it themselves is just asking for a spike in the future divorce rate.

Well don't you generally have to agree to the common-law marriage? I don't think the state forces you to be married if you don't want to be.

I am not sure what you mean.  Common law marriage means it is a deemed marriage after whatever legal threshold in the jurisdiction in question has been met.  Here it is merely the passage of time living together.

[MadImmortalMan]

Hmm, wiki suggests differently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage_in_the_United_States#Texas

Common-law marriage is known as an "informal marriage", which can be established either by declaration (registering at the county courthouse without having a ceremony), or by meeting a 3-prong test showing evidence of (1) an agreement to be married; (2) cohabitation in Texas; and (3) representation to others that the parties are married. In the actual wording of the law there is no specification on the length of time that a couple must cohabitate to meet the second requirement of the 3-prong test.

Good. Maybe it was updated. There was a couple I knew in the Compaq factory who were married that way and the wife got it done without telling the husband. They laughed about it but I thought it was fucked up. The dude had two gold teeth in the front like a retarded rabbit man. Maybe she wanted the one of those.