What would you rather do....

[Valmy]

I had both, and while the wedding was a fun party, I can think of a whole lot more fun ways to spend the money. The eloping wasn't as exciting, but it felt more real. Over all, I prefer eloping over a wedding.

Eh there is no other time in my life all my friends and relatives will come together and celebrate me.  That was a glorious day.

But we have been over how 'fake' you find all human traditions and rituals and I really don't want to repeat that conversation.  I get you don't like them and we just have to agree to disagree on that point.

[grumbler]

I had both, and while the wedding was a fun party, I can think of a whole lot more fun ways to spend the money. The eloping wasn't as exciting, but it felt more real. Over all, I prefer eloping over a wedding.

Eh there is no other time in my life all my friends and relatives will come together and celebrate me.  That was a glorious day.

But we have been over how 'fake' you find all human traditions and rituals and I really don't want to repeat that conversation.  I get you don't like them and we just have to agree to disagree on that point.

You are going to agree to disagree on whether merithyn prefers eloping over a wedding?  I don't understand.

[crazy canuck]

Age and stage influences this choice.  I got married when I was young and I felt an obligation to our respective parents and grandparents to have a wedding ceremony they could attend.

If I was to marry now I would probably elope.

[crazy canuck]

You are going to agree to disagree on whether merithyn prefers eloping over a wedding?  I don't understand.

Now you are just trying to be difficult.

[ulmont]

You are going to agree to disagree on whether merithyn prefers eloping over a wedding?  I don't understand.

Now you are just trying to be difficult.

*Now*?   

[merithyn]

Your family seriously would not come to your wedding if they don't get booze? 

I took that as hyperbole, a shorthand for 'would not get along'. 

In Vegas, did you go for an Elvis wedding?

My family seriously would not come to our reception if we did not serve alcoholic beverages of some kind. It was made pretty clear to me during another discussion that that was the case.

We were married by a JOP at the County Courthouse in Vegas, then went out for Mexican food with a few friends. That was on Friday, our first full day in Vegas. Then we spent the next few days enjoying the sights before heading home.

It was exactly what we both wanted.

A few months later we had another ceremony with the kids, just us, them, and a friend of ours who said some words and then took pictures for us. After, we went out to dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant. No fuss, no muss.

[merithyn]

Eh there is no other time in my life all my friends and relatives will come together and celebrate me.  That was a glorious day.

But we have been over how 'fake' you find all human traditions and rituals and I really don't want to repeat that conversation.  I get you don't like them and we just have to agree to disagree on that point.

To clarify, I find the way that rituals and traditions are usually done to be "fake", not the spirit of them. I find some rituals to be very poignant, and lovely. Weddings is one of those things that most often becomes about everything but the real reason everyone is together: to support the union of two lives. For that reason, I prefer a man, a woman, a Justice of the Peace (or minister, or whatever), and a witness, and nothing more. There is nothing BUT the union, so that can be the only focus.

[Barrister]

To clarify, I find the way that rituals and traditions are usually done to be "fake", not the spirit of them. I find some rituals to be very poignant, and lovely. Weddings is one of those things that most often becomes about everything but the real reason everyone is together: to support the union of two lives. For that reason, I prefer a man, a woman, a Justice of the Peace (or minister, or whatever), and a witness, and nothing more. There is nothing BUT the union, so that can be the only focus.

Well since those are your beliefs, you are quite entitled to them.

But to my mind that's not really what a wedding is about.  If it's *just* the union, then you don't need a JP or a witness - it's between the man and the woman.

But a wedding is something more.  It's about making those vows in public, before an audience.  It is about creating ties between two very different families, and bringing those two families together.  It is a very public ritual.

Even yours and Max families - I'm sure you could have bridged that gap if you had wanted.  Just off the top of my friend you have the wedding, maybe you have a dry supper, but then warn the Mennonites that alcohol will be served afterwards.  That's just off the top of my head.

But you didn't want a wedding.  And if Vegas was good for you guys, then I'm happy for you.

[Capetan Mihali]

I prefer a man, a woman, a Justice of the Peace (or minister, or whatever), and a witness, and nothing more. There is nothing BUT the union, so that can be the only focus.

This kind of base heteronormativity uttered from your keyboard!?

[Monoriu]

The thing with bringing in family and friends is that costs invariably go up.  Massively.  It is easy to say "but you can do it cheaply".  It's not practical.  When everybody does wedding banquets in 5-star hotels, wear expensive designer jewelry and clothes, and hire professional PR companies to do the weddings, my family and friends will grumble if we don't.  Especially if they know we can afford it. 

[merithyn]

Well since those are your beliefs, you are quite entitled to them.

But to my mind that's not really what a wedding is about.  If it's *just* the union, then you don't need a JP or a witness - it's between the man and the woman.

But a wedding is something more.  It's about making those vows in public, before an audience.  It is about creating ties between two very different families, and bringing those two families together.  It is a very public ritual.

Even yours and Max families - I'm sure you could have bridged that gap if you had wanted.  Just off the top of my friend you have the wedding, maybe you have a dry supper, but then warn the Mennonites that alcohol will be served afterwards.  That's just off the top of my head.

But you didn't want a wedding.  And if Vegas was good for you guys, then I'm happy for you.

Thanks. It worked for us.