How do *you* combat it? :sleep:
Wait for middle age when every day brings the stench of death closer and gives you something to really worry about.
I'd not live in China.
I thought this was a Lettow thread.
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 07:21:34 AM
I'd not live in China.
Fair, but since the age of 14 or so I never found life in North America terribly stimulating, either.
So, what's left? All I can think of are: (1) increasing drifts into hedonism (2) an embrace of Family Values and the concomitant channeling of personal boredoms into family life (3) throwing personal energies into the creation of a Magnum Opus - one's very own agony and ecstasy, if you will.
Am I missing something? :huh:
garbon speaks truly.
Quote from: Razgovory on October 18, 2012, 07:27:38 AM
I thought this was a Lettow thread.
I think I'm drunk enough that I could be there by now.
Realize that grallonesque ennui is insipid and stop acting like a teenager.
Kids.
Quote from: Pedrito on October 18, 2012, 08:06:12 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on October 18, 2012, 07:46:41 AM
Kids, these days :rolleyes:
FYP
L.
Damn straight. Look at my generation, we had walkmans with TAPES for godssake. You didn't hear us all "boo hoo my place in the larger scheme of existence is simple analogous to that of a subatomic particle forever moving without purpose in a pre-determined path doing no good even if another particle comes close enough to knock us off our shell so we become a free-flying photon."
Nope, we had it rough and we liked it.
Quote from: PDH on October 18, 2012, 08:41:42 AM
Damn straight. Look at my generation, we had walkmans with TAPES for godssake. You didn't hear us all "boo hoo my place in the larger scheme of existence is simple analogous to that of a subatomic particle forever moving without purpose in a pre-determined path doing no good even if another particle comes close enough to knock us off our shell so we become a free-flying photon."
Nope, we had it rough and we liked it.
What does that prove? I had a walkman with tapes and I believe PP is older than me.
In junior high, I had to sneak in a friend's copy of Motley Crue's Shout at the Devil cassette because my Mom would've shit kittens. Duped it on an unlabeled BASF.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 18, 2012, 08:50:03 AM
In junior high, I had to sneak in a friend's copy of Motley Crue's Shout at the Devil cassette because my Mom would've shit kittens. Duped it on an unlabeled BASF.
Huh. So your interest in cats derives from your mother.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 18, 2012, 08:50:03 AM
In junior high, I had to sneak in a friend's copy of Motley Crue's Shout at the Devil cassette because my Mom would've shit kittens. Duped it on an unlabeled BASF.
I found one of my mixtapes last year at Christmas. I vowed that I'll listen to its awfulness this year when I go back. :D
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 09:06:49 AM
I found one of my mixtapes last year at Christmas. I vowed that I'll listen to its awfulness this year when I go back. :D
LOL, stupid mix tapes. I had tons of them.
Now I want to re-read
High Fidelity.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 18, 2012, 09:15:26 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 09:06:49 AM
I found one of my mixtapes last year at Christmas. I vowed that I'll listen to its awfulness this year when I go back. :D
LOL, stupid mix tapes. I had tons of them.
Now I want to re-read High Fidelity.
That freaking book led to me thinking it was a good idea to make someone a mix cd once. -_-
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 09:22:59 AM
That freaking book led to me thinking it was a good idea to make someone a mix cd once. -_-
They never appreciate it as much as you did in making it. That's the great pitfall of gift mixes. :(
1: If you get existential ennui with some frequency and you drink with some frequency, I suggest cutting down on the drinking. The two things reinforce each other fairly effectively.
2: Lots of internet use isn't too helpful either.
3: Physical exercise, on the other hand helps, both during and afterwards.
4: Make sure you get enough sleep and eat at least somewhat decently and regularly. It makes a difference.
5: Investing in someone else's wellbeing and happiness helps. Traditional options include kids or a significant other, but a pet or parents are good too. Alternately, you can find some deserving strangers to help out.
6: Call your mom. Tell her that you love her. Maybe dad too.
7: Increase your level of social activities. Make a bit more small talk with strangers, be a little nicer to the people around you; find the people you enjoy hanging out with and suggest common activities so you spend more time with them. Humans are social creatures and if you end up having little social contact, many other things will start seeming pointless even if they're not directly related.
8: Do something mildly aggravating but constructive... clean your place up and do the dishes. It's something to do, and it's not like you're really enjoying not doing them; once the house is cleaner, you'll feel a little bit better about everything, guaranteed. Small victories matter.
9: Deliberately cultivate positive thinking. When you start deeply wondering "what's the point" tell yourself "it doesn't matter, it's a nice day/ I achieved this minor victory/ I really need to get this other thing done/ I really like the new shirt that I bought/ can't wait to cook some dinner/ [whatever else that's either practical or positive]."
10: When the ennui gets the roughest, indulge a bit to get over the roughest patch (but don't make indulging the answer to your existential question).
11: Get some project to work towards... a magnum opus, sure; that or getting rich, or starting a business, or learn a new skill, or step your education up. I'd recommend focusing on the first, immediate, and achievable step rather than get caught up in how awesome it's going to be when you've already succeeded and trying to get to the finish line in one jump.
Existence only has the meaning we put into it, so it's up to you to pack some content in. Personally, I think many small things are the way to go - start with "be a positive influence on what's around me, enjoy the pleasures that I can" is a pretty solid foundation. The bigger things will come from that.
Personally I'd suggest giving a really solid go at learning Chinese (unless you're already perfectly fluent, of course); in particular, I'd say enroll in a class. First off, getting into a class will expand your social circle; secondly, better Chinese will increase your social opportunities; third, being a white guy fluent in Chinese is a pretty marketable upgrade, both in China and back in the West; fourth, it'll give you something to occupy you other than fretting about the meaning of existence.
The point of life is living, that's about it. That and the content you pack into it. So pack some content in.
I recommend a combination of regular alcohol and escapist entertainment intake Pathos. :thumbsup:
G.
Quote from: Grallon on October 18, 2012, 11:28:48 AM
I recommend a combination of regular alcohol and escapist entertainment intake Pathos. :thumbsup:
G.
So that he'll sink into further depression?
Collect and paint 28 mm fighting men. :)
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bottleworld.de%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F300x%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fi%2Fm%2Fimage_7555.jpg&hash=e4059c1b25893b4cbb38d7f29a34db7129577618)
So to echo Jacob and cancel out the jokesters - cut down or out the drinking. I think you'd already mentioned something about that before - so I think that's a no-brainer.
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 11:33:39 AM
So that he'll sink into further depression?
Oh eventually you reach a functional plateau - or is it ceiling? Or floor? Mind you it may not work as outlined for everyone. Without knowing more about what induces these feelings in Pathos I can't offer a more informed opinion.
G.
Seriously, either ennui is just a really pretentious form of boredom, or I've never experienced it at all. I mean, there's always *something* to do - something worth doing. I really enjoy life and existing. It's the existential terror surrounding the inevitability of death and oblivion that gets me.
Quote from: Grallon on October 18, 2012, 11:53:20 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 11:33:39 AM
So that he'll sink into further depression?
Oh eventually you reach a functional plateau - or is it ceiling? Or floor? Mind you it may not work as outlined for everyone. Without knowing more about what induces these feelings in Pathos I can't offer a more informed opinion.
G.
Generally drinking is not a good idea when you are depressed.
Quote from: The Brain on October 18, 2012, 11:35:54 AM
Collect and paint 28 mm fighting men. :)
An excellent suggestion.
If ennui = depression, Jacob's advice is extremely good. Social integration, especially finding meaning and motivation in caring for others, is definitely the best way to deal with that.
Quote from: Grinning_Colossus on October 18, 2012, 11:55:37 AM
... It's the existential terror surrounding the inevitability of death and oblivion that gets me.
That's the whole point of course. And it is inextricably tied to the 'ennui' referred to. In fact I believe it's the source of it.
Now one can choose whatever form of 'agitation' one wishes to engage in to shake off that feeling of futility - whether it is getting rich, becoming famous, raising a family, having multiple affairs, creating Art or getting slammed regularly - in the end it all amounts to the same thing: avoiding death. Yet death is inevitable and will catch up with everyone.
And those who pretend that their particular form of agitation is somewhat more valuable or honorable or desirable than that of others are merely displaying the most typical and detestable of human traits: conceit and self delusion.
G.
Death is inevitable.
You can react to that fact by giving up and becoming a bitter, cynical whiner because "there is no point".
Alternately, you can endeavour to enjoy every moment you have because it's all you get, so you might as well make the most of it.
Grallon one again proves that he is Languish's high school junior: wandering around the mall wearing a black trenchcoat proclaiming to all who might listen how awful life is, all the while smoking clove cigarettes and wondering if he should get those vanity plates for his toyota tercel that say "evil"
:lol:
Quote from: PDH on October 18, 2012, 12:27:11 PM
Grallon one again proves that he is Languish's high school junior: wandering around the mall wearing a black trenchcoat proclaiming to all who might listen how awful life is, all the while smoking clove cigarettes and wondering if he should get those vanity plates for his toyota tercel that say "evil"
:D
Quote from: Jacob on October 18, 2012, 10:59:23 AM
1: If you get existential ennui with some frequency and you drink with some frequency, I suggest cutting down on the drinking. The two things reinforce each other fairly effectively.
2: Lots of internet use isn't too helpful either.
3: Physical exercise, on the other hand helps, both during and afterwards.
4: Make sure you get enough sleep and eat at least somewhat decently and regularly. It makes a difference.
5: Investing in someone else's wellbeing and happiness helps. Traditional options include kids or a significant other, but a pet or parents are good too. Alternately, you can find some deserving strangers to help out.
6: Call your mom. Tell her that you love her. Maybe dad too.
7: Increase your level of social activities. Make a bit more small talk with strangers, be a little nicer to the people around you; find the people you enjoy hanging out with and suggest common activities so you spend more time with them. Humans are social creatures and if you end up having little social contact, many other things will start seeming pointless even if they're not directly related.
8: Do something mildly aggravating but constructive... clean your place up and do the dishes. It's something to do, and it's not like you're really enjoying not doing them; once the house is cleaner, you'll feel a little bit better about everything, guaranteed. Small victories matter.
9: Deliberately cultivate positive thinking. When you start deeply wondering "what's the point" tell yourself "it doesn't matter, it's a nice day/ I achieved this minor victory/ I really need to get this other thing done/ I really like the new shirt that I bought/ can't wait to cook some dinner/ [whatever else that's either practical or positive]."
10: When the ennui gets the roughest, indulge a bit to get over the roughest patch (but don't make indulging the answer to your existential question).
11: Get some project to work towards... a magnum opus, sure; that or getting rich, or starting a business, or learn a new skill, or step your education up. I'd recommend focusing on the first, immediate, and achievable step rather than get caught up in how awesome it's going to be when you've already succeeded and trying to get to the finish line in one jump.
Existence only has the meaning we put into it, so it's up to you to pack some content in. Personally, I think many small things are the way to go - start with "be a positive influence on what's around me, enjoy the pleasures that I can" is a pretty solid foundation. The bigger things will come from that.
Personally I'd suggest giving a really solid go at learning Chinese (unless you're already perfectly fluent, of course); in particular, I'd say enroll in a class. First off, getting into a class will expand your social circle; secondly, better Chinese will increase your social opportunities; third, being a white guy fluent in Chinese is a pretty marketable upgrade, both in China and back in the West; fourth, it'll give you something to occupy you other than fretting about the meaning of existence.
The point of life is living, that's about it. That and the content you pack into it. So pack some content in.
Brilliant post. Pay attention, PP.
Quote from: Jacob on October 18, 2012, 12:23:22 PM
...
Alternately, you can endeavour to enjoy every moment you have because it's all you get, so you might as well make the most of it.
Yes - that's called obfuscating, or avoiding the issue, or - like I said - self delusion. Take your pick.
For my part I'll stick with wine.
G.
Quote from: Grallon on October 18, 2012, 01:03:44 PM
Quote from: Jacob on October 18, 2012, 12:23:22 PM
...
Alternately, you can endeavour to enjoy every moment you have because it's all you get, so you might as well make the most of it.
Yes - that's called obfuscating, or avoiding the issue, or - like I said - self delusion. Take your pick.
For my part I'll stick with wine.
G.
So doing things that make you happy is merely deluding yourself from how unhappy you are? :wacko:
Quote from: Pitiful Pathos on October 18, 2012, 07:15:37 AM
How do *you* combat it? :sleep:
I remember life is inherently meaningless so any meaning you think exists is just something you make up. Since I am empowered to create my meaning I create something I like that inspires me.
And really this has worked so well I have not really thought about this issue for awhile.
Quote from: Grallon on October 18, 2012, 01:03:44 PMYes - that's called obfuscating, or avoiding the issue, or - like I said - self delusion. Take your pick.
For my part I'll stick with wine.
You misspelled whine.
Steak and bacon. Polish off a red wine bottle with it over a leisurely supper.
Or you can get a fast car like me. Play faith no mote's midlife crisis on the stereo.
Quote from: merithyn on October 18, 2012, 12:38:04 PM
Quote from: Jacob on October 18, 2012, 10:59:23 AM
1: If you get existential ennui with some frequency and you drink with some frequency, I suggest cutting down on the drinking. The two things reinforce each other fairly effectively.
2: Lots of internet use isn't too helpful either.
3: Physical exercise, on the other hand helps, both during and afterwards.
4: Make sure you get enough sleep and eat at least somewhat decently and regularly. It makes a difference.
5: Investing in someone else's wellbeing and happiness helps. Traditional options include kids or a significant other, but a pet or parents are good too. Alternately, you can find some deserving strangers to help out.
6: Call your mom. Tell her that you love her. Maybe dad too.
7: Increase your level of social activities. Make a bit more small talk with strangers, be a little nicer to the people around you; find the people you enjoy hanging out with and suggest common activities so you spend more time with them. Humans are social creatures and if you end up having little social contact, many other things will start seeming pointless even if they're not directly related.
8: Do something mildly aggravating but constructive... clean your place up and do the dishes. It's something to do, and it's not like you're really enjoying not doing them; once the house is cleaner, you'll feel a little bit better about everything, guaranteed. Small victories matter.
9: Deliberately cultivate positive thinking. When you start deeply wondering "what's the point" tell yourself "it doesn't matter, it's a nice day/ I achieved this minor victory/ I really need to get this other thing done/ I really like the new shirt that I bought/ can't wait to cook some dinner/ [whatever else that's either practical or positive]."
10: When the ennui gets the roughest, indulge a bit to get over the roughest patch (but don't make indulging the answer to your existential question).
11: Get some project to work towards... a magnum opus, sure; that or getting rich, or starting a business, or learn a new skill, or step your education up. I'd recommend focusing on the first, immediate, and achievable step rather than get caught up in how awesome it's going to be when you've already succeeded and trying to get to the finish line in one jump.
Existence only has the meaning we put into it, so it's up to you to pack some content in. Personally, I think many small things are the way to go - start with "be a positive influence on what's around me, enjoy the pleasures that I can" is a pretty solid foundation. The bigger things will come from that.
Personally I'd suggest giving a really solid go at learning Chinese (unless you're already perfectly fluent, of course); in particular, I'd say enroll in a class. First off, getting into a class will expand your social circle; secondly, better Chinese will increase your social opportunities; third, being a white guy fluent in Chinese is a pretty marketable upgrade, both in China and back in the West; fourth, it'll give you something to occupy you other than fretting about the meaning of existence.
The point of life is living, that's about it. That and the content you pack into it. So pack some content in.
Brilliant post. Pay attention, PP.
:yes:
I was just going to say the same thing; Excellent post Jacob. :cheers:
I also like the order of things, a good diet, exercise and a proper amount of sleep are good building blocks onto which to construct whatever you want to attempt.
Quote from: Pitiful Pathos on October 18, 2012, 07:15:37 AM
How do *you* combat it? :sleep:
I cultivate hobbies, mostly making stuff for other people.
Right now, I'm making my son a costume for Halloween - a fancy looking fantasy themed samurai armour. I'm using a new material I've never used before - a plastic called "wonderflex". It's great fun, and the kid loves it.
Find someone you love, get married, have kids.
You will no longer have time for any of this other stuff
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 18, 2012, 03:12:38 PM
Find someone you love, get married, have kids.
You will no longer have time for any of this other stuff
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Force your misery on a spouse and children!
Quote from: Barrister on October 18, 2012, 01:08:12 PM
So doing things that make you happy is merely deluding yourself from how unhappy you are? :wacko:
Indeed. :frog:
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 03:18:22 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 18, 2012, 03:12:38 PM
Find someone you love, get married, have kids.
You will no longer have time for any of this other stuff
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Force your misery on a spouse and children!
That's not what CC was suggesting.
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 03:18:22 PM
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Force your misery on a spouse and children!
No he is saying you will not have time for the ennui that creates the misery.
Quote from: mongers on October 18, 2012, 04:32:21 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 03:18:22 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 18, 2012, 03:12:38 PM
Find someone you love, get married, have kids.
You will no longer have time for any of this other stuff
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Force your misery on a spouse and children!
That's not what CC was suggesting.
Except that's the truth of it. Falling in love and having kids doesn't sound to me like a good way out of being unhappy...but rather you'd just inflict in on your children. That's sort of like indulging in the solution that leads to what Betty Friedan called "the problem that has no name." The only way I could see it work is if having a wife and kids is what would make PP personally fulfilled but giving his negativity (or perhaps ambivalence) towards that in his 2nd post in the thread - don't think that's true.
Tea, cats and the wonderful people around you.
Making something actually seems to have the opposite effect- creation that comes from your mind doesnt really seem the answer when your problems are internal. Cooking something can be nice, as well.
What do you want your life to be about?
Quote from: Lettow77 on October 18, 2012, 04:59:11 PM
Tea, cats and the wonderful people around you.
Making something actually seems to have the opposite effect- creation that comes from your mind doesnt really seem the answer when your problems are internal. Cooking something can be nice, as well.
What do you want your life to be about?
:thumbsup:
A nicely positive post from Lettow and you're 'right' "What do you want your life to be about" is a good question/viewpoint.
Too much positive kumbaya bullshit around here. I'm out.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 18, 2012, 05:07:58 PM
Too much positive kumbaya bullshit around here. I'm out.
Oh c'mon. You can mock me.
Quote from: Lettow77 on October 18, 2012, 04:59:11 PM
What do you want your life to be about?
Wow Lettow asks a good question. You have to decide this PP. People on a mission rarely have existential crises.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 18, 2012, 05:07:58 PM
Too much positive kumbaya bullshit around here. I'm out.
Somebody needs a hug!
Quote from: Valmy on October 18, 2012, 05:18:09 PM
People on a mission rarely have existential crises.
They are too busy making sure their magic underwear doesn't chafe.
Quote from: PDH on October 18, 2012, 05:20:24 PM
Quote from: Valmy on October 18, 2012, 05:18:09 PM
People on a mission rarely have existential crises.
They are too busy making sure their magic underwear doesn't chafe.
People on Mormon Missions should be having existential crises. Fuck does that sound horrible.
Angels in America has a Mormon who suffers an existential crisis.
I'm back in the sober light of the morning. Life is pretty good actually, if a bit monotonous at times - I was just smashified last night, which is probably the only big thing I need to work at.
Well, that and exercise - which I would do more often if it weren't for the crippling lower back pain.
And I think a bit of travelling soon would do me good, too, and I've got a week off in a couple months.
:uffda:
Quote from: Jacob on October 18, 2012, 10:59:23 AM
1: If you get existential ennui with some frequency and you drink with some frequency, I suggest cutting down on the drinking. The two things reinforce each other fairly effectively.
2: Lots of internet use isn't too helpful either.
3: Physical exercise, on the other hand helps, both during and afterwards.
4: Make sure you get enough sleep and eat at least somewhat decently and regularly. It makes a difference.
5: Investing in someone else's wellbeing and happiness helps. Traditional options include kids or a significant other, but a pet or parents are good too. Alternately, you can find some deserving strangers to help out.
6: Call your mom. Tell her that you love her. Maybe dad too.
7: Increase your level of social activities. Make a bit more small talk with strangers, be a little nicer to the people around you; find the people you enjoy hanging out with and suggest common activities so you spend more time with them. Humans are social creatures and if you end up having little social contact, many other things will start seeming pointless even if they're not directly related.
8: Do something mildly aggravating but constructive... clean your place up and do the dishes. It's something to do, and it's not like you're really enjoying not doing them; once the house is cleaner, you'll feel a little bit better about everything, guaranteed. Small victories matter.
9: Deliberately cultivate positive thinking. When you start deeply wondering "what's the point" tell yourself "it doesn't matter, it's a nice day/ I achieved this minor victory/ I really need to get this other thing done/ I really like the new shirt that I bought/ can't wait to cook some dinner/ [whatever else that's either practical or positive]."
10: When the ennui gets the roughest, indulge a bit to get over the roughest patch (but don't make indulging the answer to your existential question).
11: Get some project to work towards... a magnum opus, sure; that or getting rich, or starting a business, or learn a new skill, or step your education up. I'd recommend focusing on the first, immediate, and achievable step rather than get caught up in how awesome it's going to be when you've already succeeded and trying to get to the finish line in one jump.
Existence only has the meaning we put into it, so it's up to you to pack some content in. Personally, I think many small things are the way to go - start with "be a positive influence on what's around me, enjoy the pleasures that I can" is a pretty solid foundation. The bigger things will come from that.
Personally I'd suggest giving a really solid go at learning Chinese (unless you're already perfectly fluent, of course); in particular, I'd say enroll in a class. First off, getting into a class will expand your social circle; secondly, better Chinese will increase your social opportunities; third, being a white guy fluent in Chinese is a pretty marketable upgrade, both in China and back in the West; fourth, it'll give you something to occupy you other than fretting about the meaning of existence.
The point of life is living, that's about it. That and the content you pack into it. So pack some content in.
I agree with most points but nothing wrong with a glass of wine. :P
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 04:45:35 PM
Quote from: mongers on October 18, 2012, 04:32:21 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 03:18:22 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 18, 2012, 03:12:38 PM
Find someone you love, get married, have kids.
You will no longer have time for any of this other stuff
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Force your misery on a spouse and children!
That's not what CC was suggesting.
Except that's the truth of it. Falling in love and having kids doesn't sound to me like a good way out of being unhappy...but rather you'd just inflict in on your children. That's sort of like indulging in the solution that leads to what Betty Friedan called "the problem that has no name." The only way I could see it work is if having a wife and kids is what would make PP personally fulfilled but giving his negativity (or perhaps ambivalence) towards that in his 2nd post in the thread - don't think that's true.
Interesting thread. :)
Good proof that this is largely a subjective personal matter. Like how you echo the things outlined by Jacob (with which I tend to agree with), which are basically the socially accepted ways of "finding meaning". By the way I do think that socially accepted escapisms and "meaning findings" are more effective because they are socially accepted, and not the other way around. But when it comes to the socially accepted "meaning finding" which is incompatible with your lifestyle, you go against it.
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
Quote from: Pitiful Pathos on October 18, 2012, 06:18:43 PM
Well, that and exercise - which I would do more often if it weren't for the crippling lower back pain.
Maybe you should re-evaluate your choice of lifestyle if you get crippling lower back pain.
Alcohol sometimes helps. As long as its mixed with good times. Otherwise it just makes it worse.
From my personal experience, ennui is usually just boredom. If you have a lot on your plate and it involves stuff you care for ennui goes away.
That's the reason why having kids works for many people - it is very time and work consuming and the animalistic part of your brain tells your body to release chemicals that make you think you "care".
For me, having a lot of to do at work, coupled with a drama-filled relationship, coupled with escapist pasttimes (such as MMORPGs) and wine works. The ennui comes when there is a downtime at work or when I am between MMORPGs (such when I had a slow summer at work and got bored with WoW, but GW2 did not yet come out).
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 03:18:07 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 04:45:35 PM
Quote from: mongers on October 18, 2012, 04:32:21 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 18, 2012, 03:18:22 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 18, 2012, 03:12:38 PM
Find someone you love, get married, have kids.
You will no longer have time for any of this other stuff
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Force your misery on a spouse and children!
That's not what CC was suggesting.
Except that's the truth of it. Falling in love and having kids doesn't sound to me like a good way out of being unhappy...but rather you'd just inflict in on your children. That's sort of like indulging in the solution that leads to what Betty Friedan called "the problem that has no name." The only way I could see it work is if having a wife and kids is what would make PP personally fulfilled but giving his negativity (or perhaps ambivalence) towards that in his 2nd post in the thread - don't think that's true.
Interesting thread. :)
Good proof that this is largely a subjective personal matter. Like how you echo the things outlined by Jacob (with which I tend to agree with), which are basically the socially accepted ways of "finding meaning". By the way I do think that socially accepted escapisms and "meaning findings" are more effective because they are socially accepted, and not the other way around. But when it comes to the socially accepted "meaning finding" which is incompatible with your lifestyle, you go against it.
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
I think Jacob's advice also does not take into account that different stimuli work for extrovert and introvert people.
For example, if you are an introvert, like me, the "go out and have fun with people" advice usually just makes it worse. Introverts recharge their batteries when they have "me time", not when they spend time with other people.
But I guess it all depends on whether the ennui you are experiencing is just you feeling down or feeling bored - the two emotions are similar, but the cause (and solution) to each is somewhat different.
When you are feeling down, doing something you like and taking a step back is the way to go. When you are bored, then it's time to do the opposite - i.e. stepping out of your comfort zone.
My God! You're an introvert?? Plz let me never meet extrovert Mart.
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 03:18:07 AM
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
I think that's different though. I don't think that of people who intentionally have kids that most do so because they are bored/discontent but rather it is something they want to do. That's why CC's advice concerns me because if you are having kids to fill up your time and thus not think about your unhappiness that such will boil over at some point.
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:42:54 AM
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 03:18:07 AM
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
I think that's different though. I don't think that of people who intentionally have kids that most do so because they are bored/discontent but rather it is something they want to do. That's why CC's advice concerns me because if you are having kids to fill up your time and thus not think about your unhappiness that such will boil over at some point.
Well yeah, if somebody can spell it that clearly for him/herself, then sure.
Spell out that they are unhappy?
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:56:39 AM
Spell out that they are unhappy?
Yes, and that their desire for a child is to combat that and not some self-deluding excuse humans are great at creating.
Its either have kids or a cat, kids are more likeable and less trouble.
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on October 19, 2012, 07:24:29 AM
Its either have kids or a cat, kids are more likeable and less trouble.
Speak for yourself. My cat's never going to wreck my car, pierce her tongue or drop out of college.
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 07:04:28 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:56:39 AM
Spell out that they are unhappy?
Yes, and that their desire for a child is to combat that and not some self-deluding excuse humans are great at creating.
Sorry I'm not buying that. I think you aren't giving parents enough due.
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on October 19, 2012, 07:24:29 AM
Its either have kids or a cat, kids are more likeable and less trouble.
Fuck that. I'd take a dog over either on any day.
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 07:27:52 AM
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 07:04:28 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:56:39 AM
Spell out that they are unhappy?
Yes, and that their desire for a child is to combat that and not some self-deluding excuse humans are great at creating.
Sorry I'm not buying that. I think you aren't giving parents enough due.
I am not saying that everyone is having children to combat their unhapiness. Far from it. I am just saying that those who do are probably not fully aware of this.
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 07:35:31 AM
I am not saying that everyone is having children to combat their unhapiness. Far from it. I am just saying that those who do are probably not fully aware of this.
Well of course. But that's what the problem that had no name was all about. Women who had no other options that to get married and have kids, waking up and slowly realizing that they were unhappy/wanted more from life than PTA meetings and casseroles.
Quote from: The Brain on October 19, 2012, 03:48:24 AM
My God! You're an introvert?? Plz let me never meet extrovert Mart.
Talking to people is a lot easier on the internet.
On reflection, fighting ennui all boils down to a single advice: "Step out of your comfort zone."
Whatever that means.
I'm comfortable wearing clothes and observing local ordinances.
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:42:54 AM
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 03:18:07 AM
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
I think that's different though. I don't think that of people who intentionally have kids that most do so because they are bored/discontent but rather it is something they want to do. That's why CC's advice concerns me because if you are having kids to fill up your time and thus not think about your unhappiness that such will boil over at some point.
You are rather twisted in these matters. Your assumption is that people are fundamentally unhappy. Rather people who have too much time on their hands and who have no purpose are unhappy. Stop projecting so much :P
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 09:20:46 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:42:54 AM
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 03:18:07 AM
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
I think that's different though. I don't think that of people who intentionally have kids that most do so because they are bored/discontent but rather it is something they want to do. That's why CC's advice concerns me because if you are having kids to fill up your time and thus not think about your unhappiness that such will boil over at some point.
You are rather twisted in these matters. Your assumption is that people are fundamentally unhappy. Rather people who have too much time on their hands and who have no purpose are unhappy. Stop projecting so much :P
Odd that you'd make an assumption about an assumption I don't make. ;)
Again I'll just go back to what I said before. Having children to give yourself a sense of purpose sounds dangerous. What happens when they are grown up and don't need you anymore? Helicopter parents for the win? :P
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 07:28:20 AM
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on October 19, 2012, 07:24:29 AM
Its either have kids or a cat, kids are more likeable and less trouble.
Fuck that. I'd take a dog over either on any day.
Well I've got all my bases covered, with one cat, two dogs, and two kids. -_-
Quote from: Barrister on October 22, 2012, 09:29:31 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 07:28:20 AM
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on October 19, 2012, 07:24:29 AM
Its either have kids or a cat, kids are more likeable and less trouble.
Fuck that. I'd take a dog over either on any day.
Well I've got all my bases covered, with one cat, two dogs, and two kids. -_-
:D :hug:
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 09:20:46 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:42:54 AM
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 03:18:07 AM
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
I think that's different though. I don't think that of people who intentionally have kids that most do so because they are bored/discontent but rather it is something they want to do. That's why CC's advice concerns me because if you are having kids to fill up your time and thus not think about your unhappiness that such will boil over at some point.
You are rather twisted in these matters. Your assumption is that people are fundamentally unhappy. Rather people who have too much time on their hands and who have no purpose are unhappy. Stop projecting so much :P
Considering that the purpose of life is whatever you invent (and convince yourself, with the help of drugs, whether generated by your body or ingested or injected from outside) as your purpose, wouldn't it be fair to say that the lack of purpose is the default state for a human being?
Does it make sense to say that one's body generates drugs?
Hakluyt's kids must be very well-behaved. Or else he has an extraordinarily clever cat.
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 09:25:04 AM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 09:20:46 AM
Quote from: garbon on October 19, 2012, 06:42:54 AM
Quote from: Tamas on October 19, 2012, 03:18:07 AM
This is not an attack, just an observation. I am also not convinced that having kids just because that is what you are supposed to do is a good idea, but it seem to be a big reason for a lot of people, yet it works out for them.
I think that's different though. I don't think that of people who intentionally have kids that most do so because they are bored/discontent but rather it is something they want to do. That's why CC's advice concerns me because if you are having kids to fill up your time and thus not think about your unhappiness that such will boil over at some point.
You are rather twisted in these matters. Your assumption is that people are fundamentally unhappy. Rather people who have too much time on their hands and who have no purpose are unhappy. Stop projecting so much :P
Odd that you'd make an assumption about an assumption I don't make. ;)
Again I'll just go back to what I said before. Having children to give yourself a sense of purpose sounds dangerous. What happens when they are grown up and don't need you anymore? Helicopter parents for the win? :P
So you take exception with my observation that your underlying assumption is that people are unhappy and then you make this comment.
Explain this to me - why are people having children to give themselves a sense of purpose if they are not unhappy? Isnt that what makes the situation dangerous? Now reflect a bit more on why I think that logic is a bit twisted. And then further reflect on the possibility that people might just fall in love, get married and have kids because they are happy with their lot in life.
Then get back to me.
What in the world are you talking about? PP posted a thread about being unhappy / has too much time on his hands. You suggested he get a spouse and have kids and he won't have such free time. I said that I thought it was less than ideal to have kids if you are unhappy with your life (with the added suggestion that you're really just kicking the problem down the road if an unhappy person has kids so that they don't have time to reflect on their unhappiness).
Where do you get from such that I think people are typically unhappy? :huh:
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:03:18 PM
What in the world are you talking about? PP posted a thread about being unhappy / has too much time on his hands. You suggested he get a spouse and have kids and he won't have such free time. I said that I thought it was less than ideal to have kids if you are unhappy with your life.
Yeah, you keep missing the part about falling in love, getting married and then having kids. I understand much of this is foriegn territory but please try to keep up.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 03:04:56 PM
Yeah, you keep missing the part about falling in love, getting married and then having kids. I understand much of this is foriegn territory but please try to keep up.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think one can force oneself to fall in love. :huh:
Really CC, I think the our difference of opinion rests on you thinking that such unhappiness stems from idle hands and thus getting entangled in relationships will be a cure all - whereas I'm more inclined to think that it has more to do with a person's perspective on their life and thus wouldn't be helped by marriage/children as the negative perspective is still lingering. Would that be a fair assessment?
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:06:39 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 03:04:56 PM
Yeah, you keep missing the part about falling in love, getting married and then having kids. I understand much of this is foriegn territory but please try to keep up.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think one can force oneself to fall in love. :huh:
Yeah, you would think you would have to wouldnt you. :P
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:09:01 PM
Really CC, I think the our difference of opinion rests on you thinking that such unhappiness stems from idle hands...
QuoteWhat in the world are you talking about? PP posted a thread about being unhappy / has too much time on his hands...
Are you even trying to be consistent in your position?
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 03:11:34 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:09:01 PM
Really CC, I think the our difference of opinion rests on you thinking that such unhappiness stems from idle hands...
QuoteWhat in the world are you talking about? PP posted a thread about being unhappy / has too much time on his hands...
Are you even trying to be consistent in your position?
You're right that was your characterization bleeding in not mine (nor not near what he expressed). That said I would agree he has too much time on his hands but I'm not inclined to think that getting rid of said time would make him happy (but certainly would make him relatively happier by distraction). I guess the underlying difference is that I think he'd still have to deal at some point with whatever it is that has him so unhappy.
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:09:01 PM
Really CC, I think the our difference of opinion rests on you thinking that such unhappiness stems from idle hands and thus getting entangled in relationships will be a cure all - whereas I'm more inclined to think that it has more to do with a person's perspective on their life and thus wouldn't be helped by marriage/children as the negative perspective is still lingering. Would that be a fair assessment?
I am not sure if this is really what CC is saying or whether you are misinterpreting his position but if it was true, it would be a hell of a dysfunctional attitude. You cannot form a happy relationship if you are not happy on your own in the first place. Treating another person as a crutch to personal happiness - whether it's a partner or a kid - is very fucked up, not to mention pretty unfair to the person in question (and on top of that, unethical under Kantian morality which I espouse).
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 03:09:58 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:06:39 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 22, 2012, 03:04:56 PM
Yeah, you keep missing the part about falling in love, getting married and then having kids. I understand much of this is foriegn territory but please try to keep up.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think one can force oneself to fall in love. :huh:
Yeah, you would think you would have to wouldnt you. :P
I suppose a sharp blow to the head could induce the same feeling. :P
Quote from: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 03:17:24 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:09:01 PM
Really CC, I think the our difference of opinion rests on you thinking that such unhappiness stems from idle hands and thus getting entangled in relationships will be a cure all - whereas I'm more inclined to think that it has more to do with a person's perspective on their life and thus wouldn't be helped by marriage/children as the negative perspective is still lingering. Would that be a fair assessment?
I am not sure if this is really what CC is saying or whether you are misinterpreting his position but if it was true, it would be a hell of a dysfunctional attitude. You cannot form a happy relationship if you are not happy on your own in the first place. Treating another person as a crutch to personal happiness - whether it's a partner or a kid - is very fucked up, not to mention pretty unfair to the person in question (and on top of that, unethical under Kantian morality which I espouse).
I think he's saying that PP seems in want of a purpose and falling in love/getting married/raising kids is as good as any. I'm not sure if that's not simply a good way to wake up 50 wondering where one's life has went - unless that's really what makes one happy. PP sounded so dispirited about it though when he raised that issue to me.
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:19:20 PM
I think he's saying that PP seems in want of a purpose and falling in love/getting married/raising kids is as good as any.
And that's true.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on October 22, 2012, 03:21:28 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:19:20 PM
I think he's saying that PP seems in want of a purpose and falling in love/getting married/raising kids is as good as any.
And that's true.
Yes if solely lacking a purpose is preventing one from being happy, that could very well be true.
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:15:23 PM
You're right that was your characterization bleeding in not mine (nor not near what he expressed).
Ok now I know why you like Mittens so much. Once you figure out what your position is get back to me.
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:19:20 PM
I think he's saying that PP seems in want of a purpose and falling in love/getting married/raising kids is as good as any.
Finally a ray of cognition pierces the gloom.
Why so combative all the time, CC?
Quote from: garbon on October 22, 2012, 03:48:35 PM
Why so combative all the time, CC?
equal and opposite reaction I guess.
Quote from: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 03:17:24 PM(and on top of that, unethical under Kantian morality which I espouse).
:lmfao:
Getting married and having kids is probably the most tried and true method of combating existential ennui, and perhaps even the best one in many ways. That being said, it is not the option for everyone, and cannot be done, as it were, at the drop of a hat (though it's certainly within the realm of possibility for most of us).
What I find depressing about *contemplating* it (as opposed to actually being in it, which may well be different) is that it is rather heavily prescriptive in terms of one's future life, and also that it is just a rather banal existence. Also, I'm not sure creating another human life just to solve my boredom is the best reason to have kids, although that's probably why most of us are here. :P
Quote from: Pitiful Pathos on October 23, 2012, 01:46:07 AM
Also, I'm not sure creating another human life just to solve my boredom is the best reason to have kids, although that's probably why most of us are here. :P
Also because our parents were afraid of death.
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on October 23, 2012, 12:41:26 AM
Quote from: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 03:17:24 PM(and on top of that, unethical under Kantian morality which I espouse).
:lmfao:
An obvious reference to Manny Kant, great thinker and proprietor of Manny's Auto Upholstery of Islip, New York.
Quote from: Pitiful Pathos on October 23, 2012, 01:46:07 AM
What I find depressing about *contemplating* it (as opposed to actually being in it, which may well be different) is that it is rather heavily prescriptive in terms of one's future life, and also that it is just a rather banal existence. Also, I'm not sure creating another human life just to solve my boredom is the best reason to have kids, although that's probably why most of us are here. :P
Well that is the root of your problem isnt it. You are contemplating and not doing. Viscious cycle I suppose but one you need to break at some point by doing something - anything really. Pretend I linked back to Jacob's original post here.
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
If you're married with kids there is never any shortage of something else to do. :lol:
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
You are making the same fundamental error Garbon was making. One does not settle down into a family for the purpose of stopping dpression but having a family is a good way of avoiding depression for the very reason that it is a lifelong commitment and more importantly attachment.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 23, 2012, 11:46:33 AM
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
You are making the same fundamental error Garbon was making. One does not settle down into a family for the purpose of stopping dpression but having a family is a good way of avoiding depression for the very reason that it is a lifelong commitment and more importantly attachment.
Unless of course that isn't enough for someone. Not everyone is the same and that might not be the cure-all for one's ennui - which of course PP has now said himself.
Quote from: garbon on October 23, 2012, 11:56:26 AM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 23, 2012, 11:46:33 AM
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
You are making the same fundamental error Garbon was making. One does not settle down into a family for the purpose of stopping dpression but having a family is a good way of avoiding depression for the very reason that it is a lifelong commitment and more importantly attachment.
Unless of course that isn't enough for someone. Not everyone is the same and that might not be the cure-all for one's ennui - which of course PP has now said himself.
I am not sure why you keep making the same fundamental error. It is not a cure. It is a lifestyle that lends itself to not having the types of problems PP is complaining about.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 23, 2012, 11:46:33 AM
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
You are making the same fundamental error Garbon was making. One does not settle down into a family for the purpose of stopping dpression but having a family is a good way of avoiding depression for the very reason that it is a lifelong commitment and more importantly attachment.
There is a possible correlation-not-causation issue: it could be that those who are *capable* of making such comittments work, are not as likely to be subject to crippling fits of ennui.
Ennui is in part caused by excessive focus on the self (hence things such as interests that 'take you out of yourself' tend to combat it). Being excessively focused on the self is not good for forming lifelong attachments to others, or putting the needs of children before one's own. Those who can do those things are thus less likely to suffer ennui.
Quote from: Malthus on October 23, 2012, 12:26:23 PM
There is a possible correlation-not-causation issue:
Good thing nobody was suggesting such a thing.
Quote from: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 11:14:24 AM
Considering that the purpose of life is whatever you invent (and convince yourself, with the help of drugs, whether generated by your body or ingested or injected from outside) as your purpose, wouldn't it be fair to say that the lack of purpose is the default state for a human being?
That would be very inaccurate to say. Humans are meaning making machines. Not seeing meaning everywhere would be a very strange thing for a human to do.
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 23, 2012, 01:00:50 PM
Quote from: Malthus on October 23, 2012, 12:26:23 PM
There is a possible correlation-not-causation issue:
Good thing nobody was suggesting such a thing.
Not saying anyone was. :huh:
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 23, 2012, 12:04:22 PM
Quote from: garbon on October 23, 2012, 11:56:26 AM
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 23, 2012, 11:46:33 AM
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
You are making the same fundamental error Garbon was making. One does not settle down into a family for the purpose of stopping dpression but having a family is a good way of avoiding depression for the very reason that it is a lifelong commitment and more importantly attachment.
Unless of course that isn't enough for someone. Not everyone is the same and that might not be the cure-all for one's ennui - which of course PP has now said himself.
I am not sure why you keep making the same fundamental error. It is not a cure. It is a lifestyle that lends itself to not having the types of problems PP is complaining about.
How is it not being posited as a cure if PP is currently having problems and you are suggesting a "lifestyle" where he will not have problems?
This thread is evidence that even people like CC who have kids can experience ennui. :zzz:
I bet Jacob has tantric sex. With aromatherapy candles. And incense. And New Age music with, like, ocean waves and shit.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on October 23, 2012, 01:22:27 PM
This thread is evidence that even people like CC who have kids can experience ennui. :zzz:
No kidding. I have to stop reading Garbon's posts for a while.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 23, 2012, 01:22:58 PM
I bet Jacob has tantric sex. With aromatherapy candles. And incense. And New Age music with, like, ocean waves and shit.
:huh:
Is that supposed to be good or bad?
You tell me, Crouching Tiger. I can't do tantric. Hell, I can't get out of the Jeep without pulling something anymore.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 23, 2012, 03:11:26 PM
You tell me, Crouching Tiger. I can't do tantric. Hell, I can't get out of the Jeep without pulling something anymore.
Time to get a buick.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 23, 2012, 03:11:26 PM
You tell me, Crouching Tiger. I can't do tantric. Hell, I can't get out of the Jeep without pulling something anymore.
:lol:
Quote from: crazy canuck on October 23, 2012, 10:56:20 AM
Well that is the root of your problem isnt it. You are contemplating and not doing. Viscious cycle I suppose but one you need to break at some point by doing something - anything really. Pretend I linked back to Jacob's original post here.
Actually, you are mistaken. I work full-time 6 days a week, am taking 2 different university courses in my spare time, have a time-consuming relationship, and am following a defined career plan so I have very little free time to contemplate such things.
My OP was made whilst rather drunk, and thus not entirely reflective of how my life actually is (as I stated before). That being said, I think that on the path I am now, things are a bit prescriptive, and I kind of miss the freedom I used to have even a few years ago. I wonder whether marriage might make me feel that way to an even greater extent, or if I'd get used to it.
Anyhow, my main new idea is to try to inject some excitement into my life through more travel.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 23, 2012, 01:22:58 PM
I bet Jacob has tantric sex. With aromatherapy candles. And incense. And New Age music with, like, ocean waves and shit.
Whale song. And that one whale talking in the background.
Quote from: Barrister on October 23, 2012, 11:37:37 AM
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
If you're married with kids there is never any shortage of something else to do. :lol:
Yeah, family stuff, I mean anything else. You might be 10 years in then realise something you really want to do with your life but you can't because you're stuck on the family path.
Or you can't without being a dick anyway.
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 23, 2012, 06:56:51 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 23, 2012, 01:22:58 PM
I bet Jacob has tantric sex. With aromatherapy candles. And incense. And New Age music with, like, ocean waves and shit.
Whale song. And that one whale talking in the background.
Leave Katami out of this. :(
Quote from: Tyr on October 24, 2012, 04:43:31 AM
Quote from: Barrister on October 23, 2012, 11:37:37 AM
Quote from: Tyr on October 23, 2012, 11:26:35 AM
The trouble with settling down into the family thing to stop depression is that its so damn final.
Sure, there might be days when it sounds tempting....but its a lifelong commitment. Its gotta get old before too long. You won't go your entire life without having anything else to do.
If you're married with kids there is never any shortage of something else to do. :lol:
Yeah, family stuff, I mean anything else. You might be 10 years in then realise something you really want to do with your life but you can't because you're stuck on the family path.
Or you can't without being a dick anyway.
That's true of all life choices. You get the same possibility for regrets if you don't have kids when young - eventually, it isn't possible to do anymore, at least without major trauma (who wants to be a parent of a young child when approaching retirement, even if it is medically possible?)
I'll let you know how that goes.
Quote from: Malthus on October 24, 2012, 10:14:20 AM
That's true of all life choices. You get the same possibility for regrets if you don't have kids when young - eventually, it isn't possible to do anymore, at least without major trauma (who wants to be a parent of a young child when approaching retirement, even if it is medically possible?)
Worked for Tony Randall. Fucker died before they could get old enough to pierce their tongues or set the house on fire. Works for me.