It is often commented how women are treated as sexual objects in our society, with their looks, attire, sexual attractiveness etc. often being scrutinised more often than that of men, even in situations that entirely do not warrant such scrutiny.
Do you guys think this is related to social inequality and women being treated as inferior to men in a patriarchal society etc., or simply the fact that men are much more likely to treat other people as sexual objects than women do - and since most men are straight, they focus on women. For example, I noticed I feel the same way about guys, often in completely inappropriate situations (like, right now, after reading an article about victims of male-on-male college rape finally making their voice heard, my first thought was that the guy who is an informal leader of this movement is quite hot :blush: ).
The article in question, by the way: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/27/male-victims-sexual-assault_n_6535730.html?ir=Gay+Voices&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000050
Can't tell you anything. The mafia will hunt me down and kill me.
Yay women. Women good. Men bad.
I will risk some honesty.
For me women are often sexual objects but they are also always people. The trick is to treat the people/person part as by far the more important of the two.
For the record I think the most annoyance I ever caused a woman were the times I failed to respond to sexual advances at parties, my failure to sexually objectify them due to getting carried away with my own bullshit was most offensive :P
As the objects of my sexual desire, I perceive even women I don't know as substantially more human than almost all of the men I actually do.
Everybody wants to be objectified, but not by people they are not attracted to.
Except, you know, innocent bystanders don't know in advance whether they've made the cut to look at your ass. So it's essentially impossible.
Everybody wants to be objectified, but not in nasty way.
Well, most guys probably wouldn't mind that either.
I really don't think people can help objectifying one another. I think it's human nature. I think it's worthwhile to try not to, I guess, even though ultimately it's probably not achievable.
Yup. I think a lot of homophobia from straight men comes from the realisation that other dudes will be thinking about them in the same way they are thinking about chicks. :P
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 01:18:15 AM
The article in question, by the way: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/27/male-victims-sexual-assault_n_6535730.html?ir=Gay+Voices&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000050
On this article - the most disturbing part for me is that there is nothing about the assailant being sent to the Police. Sexual assault ends with expelling the student?
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on January 28, 2015, 03:06:29 AM
For the record I think the most annoyance I ever caused a woman were the times I failed to respond to sexual advances at parties, my failure to sexually objectify them due to getting carried away with my own bullshit was most offensive :P
:lol: Dicky H wins the thread early.
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 08:51:50 AM
Sexual assault ends with expelling the student?
And it doesn't begin with a prison yard beatdown either?
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 28, 2015, 08:56:39 AM
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 08:51:50 AM
Sexual assault ends with expelling the student?
And it doesn't begin with a prison yard beatdown either?
Not following.
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 09:06:33 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 28, 2015, 08:56:39 AM
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 08:51:50 AM
Sexual assault ends with expelling the student?
And it doesn't begin with a prison yard beatdown either?
Not following.
"He came up behind Andrew, grabbed his crotch and moved him into the bathroom stall. Frozen, Andrew protested but did not fight back, scared of what would happen if he did."
I would think he would be too busy looking for his teeth on the bathroom floor to bother molesting me, regardless of how desirable my gorgeous hair full of body and bounce and my massively thick cock may be.
This guy was not a 4'9", 90 lbs freshman girl. Even the most effeminate, limp-wristed, fairy dust-snorting Mary can still manage to make a fist and defend herself when push comes to shove comes to reach-around.
I briefly had that thought but then went wait, in order to not be sexually assaulted for 15 minutes, you shouldn't have to get violent. Whether he chose to physically confront his attacker should be irrelevant though I agree that might have been enough to head off the incident.
Of course, it wasn't like this attacker was expelled after just one incident. Article makes clear that the attacker had a habit of doing so.
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 08:51:50 AM
On this article - the most disturbing part for me is that there is nothing about the assailant being sent to the Police. Sexual assault ends with expelling the student?
The forum has already had this discussion. Someone using your account even participated. The police only get involved when someone files a complaint. If the guy in the story didn't go to the police, the most that can happen is the perp gets expelled.
Quote from: grumbler on January 28, 2015, 09:44:07 AM
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 08:51:50 AM
On this article - the most disturbing part for me is that there is nothing about the assailant being sent to the Police. Sexual assault ends with expelling the student?
The forum has already had this discussion. Someone using your account even participated. The police only get involved when someone files a complaint. If the guy in the story didn't go to the police, the most that can happen is the perp gets expelled.
Of course it could just be that they left all of that out of the story. We don't really know much of anything of what was done by say the "anonymous" victims.
Though at the same time, I still feel it unsettling that everyone knows about a possible crime but it doesn't matter as victims "handled" it with the university. Wonderful comfort that'll be for the next victims of that man. And then, of course, in the event that these were all false accusations, that man has his reputation destroyed with no recourse.
In more university news...:(
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Stanford-athlete-accused-of-raping-unconscious-6044286.php
QuoteEx-Stanford swimmer accused of raping unconscious woman
A former Stanford University student and star swimmer will be charged with rape after he met a woman at a campus party and assaulted her as she lay intoxicated and unconscious outside, Santa Clara County prosecutors said Tuesday.
The district attorney's office said two students on bicycles stopped to help after finding freshman Brock Allen Turner, 19, on top of the woman in the early morning hours of Jan. 18 on Lomita Court, near fraternity houses on university grounds.
"She was lying on the ground unconscious, not moving," said Deputy District Attorney Alaleh Kianerci of the alleged victim, who is not a student.
The men on bikes restrained Turner, even as he tried to get away, and called police, Kianerci said. The woman, she said, was taken to a hospital and treated for her injuries.
"She's recovering," Kianerci said.
The district attorney's office said it will file five felony charges against Turner on Wednesday: one count of raping an unconscious person, one count of raping an intoxicated person, two counts of sexual penetration with a foreign object, and one count of assault while attempting to commit rape.
If convicted, Turner faces up to 10 years in prison, Kianerci said. He was arrested after the alleged attack and later posted $150,000 bail. He is scheduled to be arraigned Monday.
On Tuesday, as prosecutors announced their decision to charge him, Turner withdrew from school, university officials said. They said he's no longer allowed on campus.
"Matters like this the university takes seriously," said Lisa Lapin, a Stanford spokeswoman.
Efforts to reach Turner and his family were not immediately successful Tuesday.
The alleged rape comes as universities across the country face scrutiny for the prevalence of sexual assault on campus, with critics saying they don't do enough to stop it.
Last year, California became the first state to pass legislation that shifted the standard of consent for sexual activity at colleges from whether a person said no to whether both partners said yes. The "yes means yes" law applies only to campus disciplinary hearings, not to state criminal proceedings.
Stanford, which has been among the universities criticized for lax policies on sexual assault, has recently tried to do more to combat the problem, said Michele Landis Dauber, a law professor at the university who urged the school to make changes.
Between 1997 and 2009, just four of 175 reported sexual assaults were formally adjudicated at Stanford, with two of the alleged attackers held responsible, according to a report prepared by Dauber. She called the statistics "appalling."
The numbers have improved as the university made its reporting process more welcoming to victims and showed greater follow-through with investigations, she said. There's still room for improvement, though, she added.
Turner, who worked as a lifeguard, was a heavily recruited athlete before joining Stanford's high-powered swimming program, ranked 10th in the nation. He had been a dominant swimmer at Oakwood High School in Dayton, Ohio, twice winning the state championship in the 200- and 500-yard freestyle. He also took part in the 2012 U.S. Olympic trials.
While accurate the Ex-Stanford swimmer bit seems a misleading as it appears that he only left the university at some point in the last 2 weeks.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on January 28, 2015, 02:17:37 AM
Can't tell you anything. The mafia will hunt me down and kill me.
Yay women. Women good. Men bad.
:lol:
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on January 28, 2015, 03:06:29 AM
I will risk some honesty.
For me women are often sexual objects but they are also always people. The trick is to treat the people/person part as by far the more important of the two.
For the record I think the most annoyance I ever caused a woman were the times I failed to respond to sexual advances at parties, my failure to sexually objectify them due to getting carried away with my own bullshit was most offensive :P
I was going to comment that you must have been very unsuccessful with women...
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 01:18:15 AM
It is often commented how women are treated as sexual objects in our society, with their looks, attire, sexual attractiveness etc. often being scrutinised more often than that of men, even in situations that entirely do not warrant such scrutiny.
I think appropriateness is the main thing. There are perfectly fine times to treat people like sex objects. I get really annoyed when some woman is lecturing on nuclear physics, or whatever, and people comment on her appearance. It just seems very rude.
As far the more scrutinized then men I don't get that part. I think that is something different because other women (and heck lots of gay men) do this to. Not sure what that is all about. But it can get complicated. Men have a very set uniform in our society and men who step out of bounds even a little bit with different sorts of clothes get scrutinized. But again I think this is a different thing than the sexual objectification thing.
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 08:27:29 AM
Yup. I think a lot of homophobia from straight men comes from the realisation that other dudes will be thinking about them in the same way they are thinking about chicks. :P
Is there something horrid about the way I think about chicks? 'I want to have sex with that person' doesn't seem like that horrifying of a thought.
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 08:27:29 AM
Yup. I think a lot of homophobia from straight men comes from the realisation that other dudes will be thinking about them in the same way they are thinking about chicks. :P
Why would that bother a secure hetero male? I've said it before: I wish every man on the planet was gay besides me. If a man is homophobic he's automatically suspect.
I have (on two occasions) had gay men come on to me, believe it or not (they must really have been into bears) and while I was completely shocked, I guess ultimately I was flattered. I mean, it would have been nicer had they been hot chicks, but I still take it as a compliment.
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 01:39:51 PM
Why would that bother a secure hetero male? I've said it before: I wish every man on the planet was gay besides me. If a man is homophobic he's automatically suspect.
Lesbians, on the other hand, filled me with rage. Fortunately now I have no vested interest.
Quote from: Valmy on January 28, 2015, 01:42:41 PM
Lesbians, on the other hand, filled me with rage. Fortunately now I have no vested interest.
Rarely in my life have I looked at a lesbian and thought "It's too bad she's gay." :sleep:
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on January 28, 2015, 03:06:29 AM
I will risk some honesty.
For me women are often sexual objects but they are also always people. The trick is to treat the people/person part as by far the more important of the two.
For the record I think the most annoyance I ever caused a woman were the times I failed to respond to sexual advances at parties, my failure to sexually objectify them due to getting carried away with my own bullshit was most offensive :P
This is me or my sociability in a nutshell. :bowler:
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 01:39:51 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 08:27:29 AM
Yup. I think a lot of homophobia from straight men comes from the realisation that other dudes will be thinking about them in the same way they are thinking about chicks. :P
Why would that bother a secure hetero male? I've said it before: I wish every man on the planet was gay besides me. If a man is homophobic he's automatically suspect.
I have (on two occasions) had gay men come on to me, believe it or not (they must really have been into bears) and while I was completely shocked, I guess ultimately I was flattered. I mean, it would have been nicer had they been hot chicks, but I still take it as a compliment.
QuoteSorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!
;)
:D
One was a co-worker but he wasn't my boss. This was back when I was more of an IT helper monkey. I was under his desk working on his wiring when he came in to his office, saw my ass (but not the rest of me) under his desk, and made an extremely inappropriate comment. :lol:
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 01:39:51 PM
I have (on two occasions) had gay men come on to me, believe it or not (they must really have been into bears) and while I was completely shocked, I guess ultimately I was flattered.
What? A Peter North porn fan that hangs out at gas stations? Why, I'd just as be completely shocked as you...THAT I DIDNT ALREADY HAVE A COCK IN MY MOUTH.
I can't imagine ever getting angry at a person simply for showing an interest in me. That's just asshole behavior.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 28, 2015, 02:37:33 PM
What? A Peter North porn fan that hangs out at gas stations? Why, I'd just as be completely shocked as you...THAT I DIDNT ALREADY HAVE A COCK IN MY MOUTH.
HE WAS ONLY GAY FOR PAY. :(
I think you guys misunderstood my comment. I wasn't saying all straight men are homophobic because they expect gay men to act towards them as they act towards women. I meant that men expect gay men to act towards them the way they act towards women - which makes some of the straight men homophobic since they themselves act shitty towards women. Thought I'd clarify before all of Languish states the obvious.
To be honest, I thought your OP was a little confused and silly. :P
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 03:16:05 PM
I think you guys misunderstood my comment. I wasn't saying all straight men are homophobic because they expect gay men to act towards them as they act towards women. I meant that men expect gay men to act towards them the way they act towards women - which makes some of the straight men homophobic since they themselves act shitty towards women. Thought I'd clarify before all of Languish states the obvious.
This assumes that men know that they act shitty towards women.
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 03:17:05 PM
To be honest, I thought your OP was a little confused and silly. :P
I think all threads that I start with no article to quote are that. :P
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 03:16:05 PM
I think you guys misunderstood my comment. I wasn't saying all straight men are homophobic because they expect gay men to act towards them as they act towards women. I meant that men expect gay men to act towards them the way they act towards women - which makes some of the straight men homophobic since they themselves act shitty towards women. Thought I'd clarify before all of Languish states the obvious.
:hmm: Are you saying that homophobic men are prone to sexually harassing women or something? I'm confused Mart.
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 03:49:16 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 03:16:05 PM
I think you guys misunderstood my comment. I wasn't saying all straight men are homophobic because they expect gay men to act towards them as they act towards women. I meant that men expect gay men to act towards them the way they act towards women - which makes some of the straight men homophobic since they themselves act shitty towards women. Thought I'd clarify before all of Languish states the obvious.
:hmm: Are you saying that homophobic men are prone to sexually harassing women or something? I'm confused Mart.
Yes. So they essentially expect the type of behaviour from gay men as they themselves display towards women.
The behavior that most men have toward women is abject fear and avoidance. ;)
But seriously, getting hit on by gay dudes is a complete non issue. There is a huge difference between a woman and a gay guy. They don't think in an even remotely similar way. Maybe some dudes don't realize that or something, I don't know.
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 03:02:27 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 28, 2015, 02:37:33 PM
What? A Peter North porn fan that hangs out at gas stations? Why, I'd just as be completely shocked as you...THAT I DIDNT ALREADY HAVE A COCK IN MY MOUTH.
HE WAS ONLY GAY FOR PAY. :(
The point is, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PERSON.
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 01:39:51 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 28, 2015, 08:27:29 AM
Yup. I think a lot of homophobia from straight men comes from the realisation that other dudes will be thinking about them in the same way they are thinking about chicks. :P
Why would that bother a secure hetero male? I've said it before: I wish every man on the planet was gay besides me. If a man is homophobic he's automatically suspect.
I have (on two occasions) had gay men come on to me, believe it or not (they must really have been into bears) and while I was completely shocked, I guess ultimately I was flattered. I mean, it would have been nicer had they been hot chicks, but I still take it as a compliment.
Count that coup.
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 12:00:03 PM
In more university news...:(
Hey, great, all it takes to punish a rape is for two witnesses to catch the rapist in the act, outside, and physically restrain him! I was totally wrong about cameras, clearly they'd solve nothing!
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on January 28, 2015, 04:10:50 PM
The behavior that most men have toward women is abject fear and avoidance. ;)
But seriously, getting hit on by gay dudes is a complete non issue. There is a huge difference between a woman and a gay guy. They don't think in an even remotely similar way. Maybe some dudes don't realize that or something, I don't know.
No, I think the point is that a straight guy and a gay guy think in the same way. This in fact is my entire point in this thread. :P
Quote from: Razgovory on January 28, 2015, 04:29:39 PM
The point is, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm not. I'm just a fan of his work. That doesn't mean I'm focused on him. :moon:
Quote from: Valmy on January 28, 2015, 01:30:52 PM
I think appropriateness is the main thing. There are perfectly fine times to treat people like sex objects. I get really annoyed when some woman is lecturing on nuclear physics, or whatever, and people comment on her appearance. It just seems very rude.
Well, as her words are incomprehensible, the mind wanders to more pleasant avenues...
I want to get back to talking about objectifying women, please. Enough homo talk. :P
Anyway, it's not something I ever try to do, and with most women, I do not. But sometimes when I meet a woman I simply cannot control my urge to do it in my head. There's not necessarily any rhyme or reason to it, either. It doesn't seem to always be related to her degree of attractiveness, either... though when I find myself doing that, it's always toward a woman I do personally find appealing. Some women just radiate sexuality on some level to me, I suppose.
They look like someone whose tits it takes a couple tablespoons of cum to cover, eh? I dig it.
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 04:50:42 PM
I want to get back to talking about objectifying women, please. Enough homo talk. :P
Anyway, it's not something I ever try to do, and with most women, I do not. But sometimes when I meet a woman I simply cannot control my urge to do it in my head. There's not necessarily any rhyme or reason to it, either. It doesn't seem to always be related to her degree of attractiveness, either... though when I find myself doing that, it's always toward a woman I do personally find appealing. Some women just radiate sexuality on some level to me, I suppose.
I think we're biologically programmed to have our brains break once in a while. DNA wants to reproduce.
All right, fuck it. I won't ask. :P
Jesus Christ.
Do Disney princesses have profiles on gay romeo that say they're in open relationships and into light bdsm?
This was in response to MIM's post which basically asked if Twue Love existed for gays. :P
I think I'm becoming a cynical jerk. :lol:
There's only one way to settle who's the biggest jerk.
Quote from: The Brain on January 28, 2015, 05:31:42 PM
There's only one way to settle who's the biggest jerk.
:yes:
Get in a circle.
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 04:50:42 PM
I want to get back to talking about objectifying women, please. Enough homo talk. :P
Anyway, it's not something I ever try to do, and with most women, I do not. But sometimes when I meet a woman I simply cannot control my urge to do it in my head. There's not necessarily any rhyme or reason to it, either. It doesn't seem to always be related to her degree of attractiveness, either... though when I find myself doing that, it's always toward a woman I do personally find appealing. Some women just radiate sexuality on some level to me, I suppose.
What exactly do you mean when you use the word objectify?
Looking at a woman as a sex object. When I look at men, I see them as men, not things that I want to fuck.... and I ordinarily see women in the same way.
OK. Why is that a bad thing? Because you're married, or on general principle?
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 07:29:03 PM
When I look at men, I see them as men, not things that I want to fuck.... and I ordinarily see women in the same way.
As men?
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 28, 2015, 07:49:18 PM
OK. Why is that a bad thing? Because you're married, or on general principle?
It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."
Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 28, 2015, 07:49:18 PM
OK. Why is that a bad thing? Because you're married, or on general principle?
Both. It's worse because I'm married, because I think it's doubly disrespectful... but again, I sometimes can't help it. I don't think it outwardly influences my behavior, though... at least I hope not. :ph34r:
Quote from: Jacob on January 28, 2015, 07:53:21 PM
It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."
Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.
Arugula said the mere act of looking at women in that way is the offense, not telling a coworker about a secretary's great rack.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 28, 2015, 07:56:22 PM
Arugula said the mere act of looking at women in that way is the offense, not telling a coworker about a secretary's great rack.
I think it's fear of them being able to tell what he's thinking... that or some sort of "thinking about sinning is as bad as sinning" type guilt.
Quote from: Jacob on January 28, 2015, 07:53:21 PMIt is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."
Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.
yup. i don't think any reasonable person has a problem with dirty thoughts. society would collapse if everyone's private thoughts were known because people like to pretend bad thoughts about them don't happen. you can't pretend with the overt acts, though.
Quote from: Jacob on January 28, 2015, 07:53:21 PM
It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."
Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.
Hmm. If I found out a person (female or male) was playing out porn scenes with me in their heads, I think I'd probably be flattered, but probably by varying degrees depending on the gender of that person and if I found them attractive as well, which obviously is only going to happen if the person in question is female.
Quote from: Caliga on January 28, 2015, 04:43:13 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on January 28, 2015, 04:29:39 PM
The point is, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm not. I'm just a fan of his work. That doesn't mean I'm focused on him. :moon:
Showing me your worn rectum is hurting your argument, not helping.
:lol:
Quote from: Jacob on January 28, 2015, 07:58:01 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 28, 2015, 07:56:22 PM
Arugula said the mere act of looking at women in that way is the offense, not telling a coworker about a secretary's great rack.
I think it's fear of them being able to tell what he's thinking... that or some sort of "thinking about sinning is as bad as sinning" type guilt.
I was thinking about this thread while driving home and I think I may know why sometimes I uncontrollably do this in my head, and other times not.
When I was a teenager my mother was working on her master's degree in counseling psych, and I used to sometimes help her study and between that and her just leaving her textbooks laying around when she was done with them and my compulsion to read pretty much everything in sight, I ended up learning a lot about psychology myself. One thing that fascinated me at the time was nonverbal communication and, since I had been totally inept at picking up girls, I was very interested in female body language and how to interpret it.
So, armed with this knowledge, contact lenses, and a fresh new goatee, as soon as I started college I put this knowledge to good use. :) Even though I no longer need it, I still remember it and over the years I've noticed when interacting with a lady how her body language intersects with what she's actually saying. I think in my case, because I'm not exactly Mr. Studly, it's easier to pick up on female interest because it's not all that common for me to experience it. I don't go looking for these cues, but now that I know what they are I kind of can't help but notice.
When you first meet a woman, it's common for them to start dropping cues which IIRC are called 'proteans', which basically mean "I am sizing you up to see whether I'd consider screwing you." The classic examples of this are when they start fussing with their hair and adjusting their clothing. Sometimes women never drop any of these cues at all, sometimes they only do it briefly, and other times they do it for the entire conversation. I presume women who know a thing or to about psychology may be aware of their tendency to do this and have learned to control it, so it's not necessarily a reliable indicator of anything.
So I was thinking about all of this in relation to some of my female co-workers, and realized that ones who I've tended to silently objectify are the very same ones who have continually projected flirtatious body language as long as I've known them. It makes sense. They are subconsciously saying, or at least my id thinks they are saying, "I might want to do you", so it follows you'd have intrusive objectifying thoughts about them, too.
Quote from: Razgovory on January 28, 2015, 08:07:05 PM
Showing me your worn rectum is hurting your argument, not helping.
:D You're allll right, kid.
Quote from: Jacob on January 28, 2015, 07:53:21 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 28, 2015, 07:49:18 PM
OK. Why is that a bad thing? Because you're married, or on general principle?
It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."
Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.
Pretty immature attitude.
In ordinary, everyday situations , I think there's a big difference between seeing a person who you find attractive as a possible sex object, and seeing the person only as a sex object. I mean, almost by definition, if you don't see them as a possible sex object, then you don't find them attractive.
Quote from: Ideologue on January 28, 2015, 08:35:59 PM
Quote from: Jacob on January 28, 2015, 07:53:21 PM
It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."
Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.
Pretty immature attitude.
Sexual Harassment and You
https://screen.yahoo.com/sexual-harassment-000000677.html
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 28, 2015, 09:41:46 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on January 28, 2015, 08:35:59 PM
Quote from: Jacob on January 28, 2015, 07:53:21 PM
It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."
Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.
Pretty immature attitude.
Sexual Harassment and You
https://screen.yahoo.com/sexual-harassment-000000677.html
This is my favorite sexual harassment video. "It smells like fresh vagina in here."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8zeaYFQMJM
I had forgotten that one. :lol:
I like the bits with Jennifer Aniston in Horrible Bosses.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on January 28, 2015, 10:10:23 PM
I like the bits with Jennifer Aniston in Horrible Bosses.
I'm hard pressed to like any scene with Jennifer Aniston. -_-
I like every episode of Friends.
Every episode? I dunno about that.
For instance, finding out that Phoebe had bullied Ross as a child and they forgot about it was kind of a :rolleyes: plot.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on January 28, 2015, 10:10:23 PM
I like the bits with Jennifer Aniston in Horrible Bosses.
Yep.
After the technological singularity we will not have sexes or hormones, so none of this will matter.
Quote from: Siege on January 29, 2015, 10:11:27 AM
After the technological singularity we will not have sexes or hormones, so none of this will matter.
The technological singularity sounds mega boring.
Quote from: Siege on January 29, 2015, 10:11:27 AM
After the technological singularity we will not have sexes or hormones, so none of this will matter.
If you're so keen on this singularity, why don't you prepare for it by cutting off your "honeybread"?
Quote from: Tonitrus on January 29, 2015, 02:29:43 PM
Quote from: Siege on January 29, 2015, 10:11:27 AM
After the technological singularity we will not have sexes or hormones, so none of this will matter.
The technological singularity sounds mega boring.
It sounds kind of like Judgment Day, in fact.
One time my mother in law was like:
"I just can't wait to die and be reunited with the Lord in Heaven!"
ME: "What do you think you'll be doing all day up there?"
HER: "Praising Jesus!"
Personally I'd rather go to Hell. :hmm:
It's a lot like judgement day. It's some silly techno-rapture.
Quote from: Caliga on January 29, 2015, 02:34:55 PM
Quote from: Tonitrus on January 29, 2015, 02:29:43 PM
Quote from: Siege on January 29, 2015, 10:11:27 AM
After the technological singularity we will not have sexes or hormones, so none of this will matter.
The technological singularity sounds mega boring.
It sounds kind of like Judgment Day, in fact.
One time my mother in law was like:
"I just can't wait to die and be reunited with the Lord in Heaven!"
ME: "What do you think you'll be doing all day up there?"
HER: "Praising Jesus!"
Personally I'd rather go to Hell. :hmm:
Back at Religion class at my Jesuit high school somehow the topic of Heaven came up. The lay teacher explained that in his opinion heaven would be a lot like a wedding feast - good food, some dancing and music, all with friends and family you don't ever get to spend enough time with.
They say, in heaven, Love comes first.
Quote from: Barrister on January 29, 2015, 02:56:28 PM
Back at Religion class at my Jesuit high school somehow the topic of Heaven came up. The lay teacher explained that in his opinion heaven would be a lot like a wedding feast - good food, some dancing and music, all with friends and family you don't ever get to spend enough time with.
That actually sounds pretty cool. Sitting around screaming "PRAISE JEEBUS!" and chestbeating is a whole different ballgame. :)
I only was to two weddings. Both were as a kid and I thought they were horrid.
I hope hell is more like a nightclub.
Weddings can be awesome or terrible. My brother's wedding so so terrible I was embarrassed for him and his wife even though they didn't have sense enough to be embarrassed for themselves. I apologized to all my friends who made the trip.
My wedding however was pretty epic. Nice short ceremony, great food, plenty of wine, and I made my first and last singing performance with a live band (song was La Bamba and I nailed it). Party lasted til sun-up the next morning.
I wouldn't invite Mart to anything. He'd get drunk, grope somebody in the bathroom and eat all the cocktail weenies.
I only remember Mart doing the first one when I met him though I didn't check to see what he was up to in the restroom. :zipped:
Quote from: Martinus on January 29, 2015, 03:45:34 PM
I only was to two weddings. Both were as a kid and I thought they were horrid.
I hope hell is more like a nightclub.
Wha? I love weddings!
Quote from: garbon on January 29, 2015, 04:15:55 PM
I only remember Mart doing the first one when I met him though I didn't check to see what he was up to in the restroom. :zipped:
*taps foot*
Quote from: derspiess on January 29, 2015, 03:58:56 PM
Weddings can be awesome or terrible. My brother's wedding so so terrible I was embarrassed for him and his wife even though they didn't have sense enough to be embarrassed for themselves. I apologized to all my friends who made the trip.
Did they: have it at The Elks Lodge!
Quote from: Caliga on January 29, 2015, 04:21:59 PM
Quote from: derspiess on January 29, 2015, 03:58:56 PM
Weddings can be awesome or terrible. My brother's wedding so so terrible I was embarrassed for him and his wife even though they didn't have sense enough to be embarrassed for themselves. I apologized to all my friends who made the trip.
Did they: have it at The Elks Lodge!
Venue wasn't terrible. But they only got that place because they knew the golf pro at that course and they got it basically for free. Everything was done on the cheap. Music was terrible, food was bland and they had a cash bar with limited options. They had one bottle of champagne. One. As in-- one bottle for the head table to share and that was it. Silly me, I had a glass and a half assuming there was more and caused a huge scandal. Only thing we had to entertain us was my drunk aunt.
My parents had paid for the rehearsal dinner which was great. I knew her parents were "thrifty", but didn't realize they'd skimp on every aspect of the wedding. And it's not like they didn't have the money.
I've never been to a bad wet wedding and I've never been to a good dry one. I can't think of any other social event that is so heavily booze dependent.
Please tell me you rocked the cash bar.
Come to think of it, every wet wedding I've been to has had an open bar.
Quote from: Martinus on January 29, 2015, 03:45:34 PM
I only was to two weddings. Both were as a kid and I thought they were horrid.
I hope hell is more like a nightclub.
So you prefer overpaying for drinks than free drinks? Weird.
My sister's wedding was a week-long Romneytacular in Nantucket that cost more than some peoples' yearly salaries. I ate lobster every day.
I would want my wedding--were I to leave my senses long enough--to be schmaltzy and corny Vegas-style, performed by an jumpsuited and caped Elvis impersonator at 3am with $20 worth of complimentary casino chips and a free coupon for our "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Brunch!" Special. But I don't think this is 1971 anymore.
Although it was always nice to be posting the occasional appeal bail in a circuit court somewhere, and chance upon somebody getting married right there at the counter in the clerk's office. Usually senior citizens, but not always. That was always kind of sweet.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 29, 2015, 06:07:15 PM
My sister's wedding was a week-long Romneytacular in Nantucket that cost more than some peoples' yearly salaries. I ate lobster every day.
I would want my wedding--were I to leave my senses long enough--to be schmaltzy and corny Vegas-style, performed by an jumpsuited and caped Elvis impersonator at 3am with $20 worth of complimentary casino chips and a free coupon for our "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Brunch!" Special. But I don't think this is 1971 anymore.
Although it was always nice to be posting the occasional appeal bail in a circuit court somewhere, and chance upon somebody getting married right there at the counter in the clerk's office. Usually senior citizens, but not always. That was always kind of sweet.
Marriage is an overrated, outdated, religious buffoonery.
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:12:16 PM
Marriage is an overrated, outdated, religious buffoonery.
Chicks seem to dig it.
Our wedding was the two of us, my mom, a student photographer with a friend lugging her gear, and my wife's school friend, and a wedding commissioner in a park overlooking the Pacific Ocean on a Saturday. We stayed a night in a fancy hotel and went back on Sunday. Monday we went to work.
Some months later we had a dinner at a fancy restaurant in Chengdu as well, for local family and friends. I think it was about a hundred or hundred and twenty people. I brought six friends with me from Canada for the cultural learnings and tourism, but other than that I had little input on what happened or little idea what was going on most of the time. Which suited me perfectly.
Quote from: Valmy on January 29, 2015, 04:57:50 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 29, 2015, 03:45:34 PM
I only was to two weddings. Both were as a kid and I thought they were horrid.
I hope hell is more like a nightclub.
So you prefer overpaying for drinks than free drinks? Weird.
Pay? I figure Marti just runs up big bar tabs and then welches on them. Well, assuming he really is a lawyer.
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:12:16 PM
Marriage is an overrated, outdated, religious buffoonery.
It sounds like a fantastic financial device to benefit from if you do it properly. Seems to work for those who marry "up".
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 29, 2015, 06:19:48 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:12:16 PM
Marriage is an overrated, outdated, religious buffoonery.
It sounds like a fantastic financial device to benefit from if you do it properly. Seems to work for those who marry "up".
It's pretty good if you're Chinese and have well off friends, family, and family-friends since the guests give you envelopes with cash.
:lol:
That's just super.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 29, 2015, 06:07:15 PM
My sister's wedding was a week-long Romneytacular in Nantucket that cost more than some peoples' yearly salaries. I ate lobster every day.
I would want my wedding--were I to leave my senses long enough--to be schmaltzy and corny Vegas-style, performed by an jumpsuited and caped Elvis impersonator at 3am with $20 worth of complimentary casino chips and a free coupon for our "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Brunch!" Special. But I don't think this is 1971 anymore.
Although it was always nice to be posting the occasional appeal bail in a circuit court somewhere, and chance upon somebody getting married right there at the counter in the clerk's office. Usually senior citizens, but not always. That was always kind of sweet.
My sister's wedding was a trip to the courthouse.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 29, 2015, 06:22:26 PM
That's just super.
I thought you'd appreciate me providing anecdotes to support your thesis :)
Quote from: Jacob on January 29, 2015, 06:21:10 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 29, 2015, 06:19:48 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:12:16 PM
Marriage is an overrated, outdated, religious buffoonery.
It sounds like a fantastic financial device to benefit from if you do it properly. Seems to work for those who marry "up".
It's pretty good if you're Chinese and have well off friends, family, and family-friends since the guests give you envelopes with cash.
Scratch lottery tickets are better.
I spent most of the money on the reception. Open Bar, buffet, bad banquet hall, etc. etc.
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:34:29 PM
Quote from: Jacob on January 29, 2015, 06:21:10 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 29, 2015, 06:19:48 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:12:16 PM
Marriage is an overrated, outdated, religious buffoonery.
It sounds like a fantastic financial device to benefit from if you do it properly. Seems to work for those who marry "up".
It's pretty good if you're Chinese and have well off friends, family, and family-friends since the guests give you envelopes with cash.
Scratch lottery tickets are better.
Really? I'll have to try that. Those things are like free. They are all over the parking lot at the gas station.
That's the spirit. :D
Free smokes too.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 29, 2015, 04:48:39 PM
Come to think of it, every wet wedding I've been to has had an open bar.
I didn't have an open bar. :ph34r:
Reason why I didn't was because so many of the guests were TEH BAPTISTS, who wouldn't have taken advantage of it anyway.
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:34:29 PM
Scratch lottery tickets are better.
I went to a wedding where they gave those out. It seemed like a ridiculously cheesy idea to me.
Quote from: Caliga on January 29, 2015, 07:33:49 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:34:29 PM
Scratch lottery tickets are better.
I went to a wedding where they gave those out. It seemed like a ridiculously cheesy idea to me.
It's a joke Cal.
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 07:51:06 PM
Quote from: Caliga on January 29, 2015, 07:33:49 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on January 29, 2015, 06:34:29 PM
Scratch lottery tickets are better.
I went to a wedding where they gave those out. It seemed like a ridiculously cheesy idea to me.
It's a joke Cal.
I actually gave those out one Christmas when I didn't have a lot of money. My uncle won 50 bucks!
Quote from: garbon on January 29, 2015, 09:39:35 PM
I actually gave those out one Christmas when I didn't have a lot of money. My uncle won 50 bucks!
My mother gives those out as stocking stuffers. In related news, she seems to be the only one that ever wins.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on January 29, 2015, 03:03:51 PM
They say, in heaven, Love comes first.
:lol:
Teach, you're my new favorite poster.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ8AgWNSVoo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ8AgWNSVoo)
:)
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 29, 2015, 06:07:15 PM
Although it was always nice to be posting the occasional appeal bail in a circuit court somewhere, and chance upon somebody getting married right there at the counter in the clerk's office. Usually senior citizens, but not always. That was always kind of sweet.
When we eloped we got hitched at the good old Cecil County courthouse in Elkton. Then we had our church wedding in Argentina 7 months later.
Quote from: derspiess on January 30, 2015, 10:04:09 AM
When we eloped we got hitched at the good old Cecil County courthouse in Elkton. Then we had our church wedding in Argentina 7 months later.
Isn't Elkton famous for quickie weddings? :hmm:
Quote from: derspiess on January 30, 2015, 10:04:09 AM
When we eloped we got hitched at the good old Cecil County courthouse in Elkton.
lol, good times.
Quote from: Caliga on January 30, 2015, 10:17:32 AM
Isn't Elkton famous for quickie weddings? :hmm:
http://blogs.weta.org/boundarystones/2013/02/14/elkton-maryland-quickie-wedding-capital-east-coast
Once in a while, you'll catch references to Maryland and elopement in old sitcoms of the '60s and '70s.
My mom's dad's family are all from Cecil County. :) Mostly from Rising Sun and thereabouts.
Quote from: Caliga on January 30, 2015, 10:17:32 AM
Quote from: derspiess on January 30, 2015, 10:04:09 AM
When we eloped we got hitched at the good old Cecil County courthouse in Elkton. Then we had our church wedding in Argentina 7 months later.
Isn't Elkton famous for quickie weddings? :hmm:
It was quicker than Delaware, IIRC.
Quote from: Caliga on January 30, 2015, 10:58:46 AM
My mom's dad's family are all from Cecil County. :) Mostly from Rising Sun and thereabouts.
My first married chick lived in Rising Sun. That was one hell of a drive, but there was a fantastic piece of ass at the end of it.
I'm glad we're back on-topic.
Driving for ass? :hmm:
Quote from: garbon on January 30, 2015, 11:12:36 AM
Driving for ass? :hmm:
Not all of us have convenient public transportation. When you arent near NYC, how do you travel?
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 30, 2015, 11:43:56 AM
Quote from: garbon on January 30, 2015, 11:12:36 AM
Driving for ass? :hmm:
Not all of us have convenient public transportation. When you arent near NYC, how do you travel?
Sorry I should have completed my thought. I've driven for ass before too* - but not long distances.
*although mostly they drove to me and/or picked me up.
Quote from: garbon on January 28, 2015, 12:00:03 PM
In more university news...:(
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Stanford-athlete-accused-of-raping-unconscious-6044286.php
QuoteEx-Stanford swimmer accused of raping unconscious woman
A former Stanford University student and star swimmer will be charged with rape after he met a woman at a campus party and assaulted her as she lay intoxicated and unconscious outside, Santa Clara County prosecutors said Tuesday.
The district attorney's office said two students on bicycles stopped to help after finding freshman Brock Allen Turner, 19, on top of the woman in the early morning hours of Jan. 18 on Lomita Court, near fraternity houses on university grounds.
"She was lying on the ground unconscious, not moving," said Deputy District Attorney Alaleh Kianerci of the alleged victim, who is not a student.
The men on bikes restrained Turner, even as he tried to get away, and called police, Kianerci said. The woman, she said, was taken to a hospital and treated for her injuries.
"She's recovering," Kianerci said.
The district attorney's office said it will file five felony charges against Turner on Wednesday: one count of raping an unconscious person, one count of raping an intoxicated person, two counts of sexual penetration with a foreign object, and one count of assault while attempting to commit rape.
If convicted, Turner faces up to 10 years in prison, Kianerci said. He was arrested after the alleged attack and later posted $150,000 bail. He is scheduled to be arraigned Monday.
On Tuesday, as prosecutors announced their decision to charge him, Turner withdrew from school, university officials said. They said he's no longer allowed on campus.
"Matters like this the university takes seriously," said Lisa Lapin, a Stanford spokeswoman.
Efforts to reach Turner and his family were not immediately successful Tuesday.
The alleged rape comes as universities across the country face scrutiny for the prevalence of sexual assault on campus, with critics saying they don't do enough to stop it.
Last year, California became the first state to pass legislation that shifted the standard of consent for sexual activity at colleges from whether a person said no to whether both partners said yes. The "yes means yes" law applies only to campus disciplinary hearings, not to state criminal proceedings.
Stanford, which has been among the universities criticized for lax policies on sexual assault, has recently tried to do more to combat the problem, said Michele Landis Dauber, a law professor at the university who urged the school to make changes.
Between 1997 and 2009, just four of 175 reported sexual assaults were formally adjudicated at Stanford, with two of the alleged attackers held responsible, according to a report prepared by Dauber. She called the statistics "appalling."
The numbers have improved as the university made its reporting process more welcoming to victims and showed greater follow-through with investigations, she said. There's still room for improvement, though, she added.
Turner, who worked as a lifeguard, was a heavily recruited athlete before joining Stanford's high-powered swimming program, ranked 10th in the nation. He had been a dominant swimmer at Oakwood High School in Dayton, Ohio, twice winning the state championship in the 200- and 500-yard freestyle. He also took part in the 2012 U.S. Olympic trials.
While accurate the Ex-Stanford swimmer bit seems a misleading as it appears that he only left the university at some point in the last 2 weeks.
On one version of this, I saw in the comments a gay guy saying 'too bad, he is cute.' -_-