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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Brazen on October 10, 2013, 04:20:04 AM

Title: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Brazen on October 10, 2013, 04:20:04 AM
Has this gone international yet?

Middle-class parent Nazi site Mumsnet had a forum post that went viral:
QuoteWe have a slightly, ahem, delicate question from the boards.

"We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.
Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing. "
...

Article here:
http://metro.co.uk/2013/10/09/mumsnet-asks-the-internets-weirdest-question-ever-do-you-have-a-penis-beaker-4140154/ (http://metro.co.uk/2013/10/09/mumsnet-asks-the-internets-weirdest-question-ever-do-you-have-a-penis-beaker-4140154/)

Best of the comments here:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/the-best-of-the-amazing-penis-beaker-debate (http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/the-best-of-the-amazing-penis-beaker-debate)
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Tonitrus on October 10, 2013, 05:34:13 AM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2013%2F04%2F09%2Farticle-0-192F265B000005DC-346_306x423.jpg&hash=6e3a752e66e93d920486eee2095a7e8d1ac2f8a5)
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: DontSayBanana on October 10, 2013, 06:27:54 AM
Quote from: Tonitrus on October 10, 2013, 05:34:13 AM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2013%2F04%2F09%2Farticle-0-192F265B000005DC-346_306x423.jpg&hash=6e3a752e66e93d920486eee2095a7e8d1ac2f8a5)

The sad thing is that I know without even looking it up that that's from the Muppets' Bohemian Rhapsody video. :blush:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Josquius on October 10, 2013, 06:28:44 AM
A penis beaker? :LOL:

Whats wrong with wet wipes?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: DontSayBanana on October 10, 2013, 06:33:09 AM
Quote from: Tyr on October 10, 2013, 06:28:44 AM
A penis beaker? :LOL:

Whats wrong with wet wipes?

Seriously.  At least baby wipes could be stashed in the drawer.  Instead, I can just see three-year-old little Johnny coming into the bedroom to talk to Mommy and Daddy and going "you guys must be really thirsty, you've always got that cup there." :lol:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Larch on October 10, 2013, 06:37:21 AM
Taking a tangent but still talking about weird genital complements, a friend of mine who used to work in an upscale business hotel told me that one day one of the cleaning ladies appeared at her desk with a mixture of embarrassment and hillarity because while she was doing the rounds she entered a room that was in total darkness and, when she opened the curtains and light poured in she found that the guest, a middle aged man, was still sleeping in the bed, completely naked and face up, wearing only a sleep mask and a knitted wooly thingie covering his junk.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Grey Fox on October 10, 2013, 07:03:27 AM
I don't understand how a glass of water is any help after sex.

Must be a thing for circumsized man.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Solmyr on October 10, 2013, 08:08:31 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/1378601_624204710953159_434099004_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: derspiess on October 10, 2013, 08:11:18 AM
Quote from: DontSayBanana on October 10, 2013, 06:27:54 AM
Quote from: Tonitrus on October 10, 2013, 05:34:13 AM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2013%2F04%2F09%2Farticle-0-192F265B000005DC-346_306x423.jpg&hash=6e3a752e66e93d920486eee2095a7e8d1ac2f8a5)

The sad thing is that I know without even looking it up that that's from the Muppets' Bohemian Rhapsody video. :blush:

Ditto.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: merithyn on October 10, 2013, 08:12:16 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on October 10, 2013, 07:03:27 AM
I don't understand how a glass of water is any help after sex.

Must be a thing for circumsized man.

:blink:

Are you saying that uncircumsized men don't wash? Because that could explain why a lot of American's find the whole idea pretty disgusting.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Gups on October 10, 2013, 08:47:11 AM
Someone will spell out to you the logistics of washing a hooded todger in a cup, but it ain't gonna be me.

Put it this way, dip and dry won't work.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Viking on October 10, 2013, 08:48:46 AM
Am I the only guy who read the thread title "Fetch the penis bReaker, you've pulled!"
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: derspiess on October 10, 2013, 08:49:50 AM
Quote from: Viking on October 10, 2013, 08:48:46 AM
Am I the only guy who read the thread title "Fetch the penis bReaker, you've pulled!"

Not now :angry:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Grey Fox on October 10, 2013, 08:51:50 AM
Quote from: merithyn on October 10, 2013, 08:12:16 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on October 10, 2013, 07:03:27 AM
I don't understand how a glass of water is any help after sex.

Must be a thing for circumsized man.

:blink:

Are you saying that uncircumsized men don't wash? Because that could explain why a lot of American's find the whole idea pretty disgusting.

No, I'm saying that I don't understand how a glass of water is of any help. I need a washcloth or something.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: mongers on October 10, 2013, 09:14:41 AM
Quote from: Viking on October 10, 2013, 08:48:46 AM
Am I the only guy who read the thread title "Fetch the penis bReaker, you've pulled!"

Indeed that's the way I scanned the title; And just thought "oh, is that a new nickname for some women".   :blush:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: garbon on October 10, 2013, 09:18:26 AM
So this is a ghetto bidet?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: merithyn on October 10, 2013, 09:24:22 AM
Quote from: Gups on October 10, 2013, 08:47:11 AM
Someone will spell out to you the logistics of washing a hooded todger in a cup, but it ain't gonna be me.

Put it this way, dip and dry won't work.

I guess that I assumed that pulling the hood back was an option.

Boys are so weird. :x
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 09:26:48 AM
Gross.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: PDH on October 10, 2013, 09:28:35 AM
See, the entire idea is wrong.  After sex I get the bathroom first for as long as I want.  I did all the important stuff after all.

Plus, that gives her time to change the bedding.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 09:30:18 AM
I post on Languish first.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 09:42:00 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 09:30:18 AM
I post on Languish first.

Before your dump? :(
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 09:43:19 AM
Quote from: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 09:42:00 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 09:30:18 AM
I post on Languish first.

Before your dump? :(

This morning, it was after.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 09:47:04 AM
Sex. Dump. Languish.

Roger that, Manly Wheeler.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Brazen on October 10, 2013, 10:04:10 AM
The lady in question should develop her pelvic floor muscles so the male member is wiped clean on withdrawal.  Then she deserves the bathroom to herself.

Some men need to learn to use a pre-coital penis beaker.  Or, ya know, wash  :glare:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 10:06:51 AM
I use bleach on my wang.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 10:08:10 AM
So solly.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 03:43:37 PM
But children's parties?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 04:04:52 PM
Hey! Deleting posts? It has come to this?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Malthus on October 10, 2013, 04:06:07 PM
Quote from: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 03:43:37 PM
But children's parties?

:huh:

... backs away slowly ...
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: DGuller on October 10, 2013, 04:07:18 PM
 :hmm: I would think that a penis beaker would be for those occasions when you don't have a partner in the shower, or anywhere else for that matter.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 04:08:33 PM
Quote from: Malthus on October 10, 2013, 04:06:07 PM
Quote from: The Brain on October 10, 2013, 03:43:37 PM
But children's parties?

:huh:

... backs away slowly ...

Beep, beep, beep...

Sorry, thought you were katmai for a second.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: garbon on October 10, 2013, 04:08:38 PM
Quote from: DGuller on October 10, 2013, 04:07:18 PM
:hmm: I would think that a penis beaker would be for those occasions when you don't have a partner in the shower, or anywhere else for that matter.

You mean that's what you use it for?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: DGuller on October 10, 2013, 04:15:12 PM
I don't have a penis beaker.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: derspiess on October 10, 2013, 04:19:20 PM
That's exactly what a penis beaker owner would say.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 04:20:34 PM
DG's has its own track suit.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: crazy canuck on October 10, 2013, 05:21:54 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 10, 2013, 04:20:34 PM
DG's has its own track suit.

with penis beaker holder?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Legbiter on October 10, 2013, 05:52:34 PM
I'd take showers with chicks after fucking each other's brains out. This seems a little...tryhard?

Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: mongers on October 10, 2013, 06:07:36 PM
Quote from: Brazen on October 10, 2013, 04:20:04 AM
Has this gone international yet?

Middle-class parent Nazi site Mumsnet had a forum post that went viral:
QuoteWe have a slightly, ahem, delicate question from the boards.

"We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.
Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing. "
...
....

I love it when entirely self-absorb people, who think every facet of their life's interesting, are hoisted by their own petard.   :cool:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: mongers on October 10, 2013, 06:09:31 PM
I'm still somewhat confused at how the penis-beaker people could have so dramatically changed Western European culture.   :hmm:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Malthus on October 10, 2013, 06:10:24 PM
Quote from: mongers on October 10, 2013, 06:07:36 PM
Quote from: Brazen on October 10, 2013, 04:20:04 AM
Has this gone international yet?

Middle-class parent Nazi site Mumsnet had a forum post that went viral:
QuoteWe have a slightly, ahem, delicate question from the boards.

"We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.
Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing. "
...
....

I love it when entirely self-absorb people, who think every facet of their life's interesting, are hoisted by their own petard.   :cool:

A "petard" is a pretty good name for a penis beaker ...  :lol:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Jacob on October 10, 2013, 06:14:13 PM
Quote from: Legbiter on October 10, 2013, 05:52:34 PM
I'd take showers with chicks after fucking each other's brains out. This seems a little...tryhard?

You have to be pretty creative to shower in a beaker, especially if you're doing it with a partner...
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Malthus on October 10, 2013, 06:18:46 PM
Quote from: Jacob on October 10, 2013, 06:14:13 PM
Quote from: Legbiter on October 10, 2013, 05:52:34 PM
I'd take showers with chicks after fucking each other's brains out. This seems a little...tryhard?

You have to be pretty creative to shower in a beaker, especially if you're doing it with a partner...

It's a brag.

A beaker big enough to contain *his* penis, is big enough for dual bathing.  ;)
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 10, 2013, 06:39:06 PM
Quote from: Solmyr on October 10, 2013, 08:08:31 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/1378601_624204710953159_434099004_n.jpg)

Different colors are a good idea.
That way, grumbler doesn't make the mistake of using the one his dentures are soaking in anymore.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: jimmy olsen on October 10, 2013, 06:41:21 PM
So pulled = cum in Brit speak?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: DGuller on October 10, 2013, 06:44:30 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 10, 2013, 06:39:06 PM
Different colors are a good idea.
That way, grumbler doesn't make the mistake of using the one his dentures are soaking in anymore.
:lmfao:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Jacob on October 10, 2013, 06:47:57 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on October 10, 2013, 06:41:21 PM
So pulled = cum in Brit speak?

Pulled = scored.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: DGuller on October 10, 2013, 06:51:03 PM
GOOOOOAAAAL!
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: mongers on October 10, 2013, 06:55:04 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on October 10, 2013, 06:41:21 PM
So pulled = cum in Brit speak?

No,

Down the boozer, you chat up a 'bird'*, ask her back to your place, she agrees, you leave together, your mates might say "he's pulled"

So it's a good, but not racing certainty you'll have sex. 

Though not, as with all English, the meaning of the phase could have changed significantly over time, so my understanding might be different to current use or how Josq. would use it. 



* in fashion from about 1971-73 and probably mainly used on sub-par British tv 'comedies' of the time.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Sheilbh on October 10, 2013, 07:01:08 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on October 10, 2013, 06:41:21 PM
So pulled = cum in Brit speak?
Jesus, no. That's a hideous thread title <_<
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: 11B4V on October 10, 2013, 08:15:33 PM
So who broke their wang?
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: garbon on October 10, 2013, 08:26:29 PM
Quote from: Sheilbh on October 10, 2013, 07:01:08 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on October 10, 2013, 06:41:21 PM
So pulled = cum in Brit speak?
Jesus, no. That's a hideous thread title <_<

:lol:
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: The Brain on October 11, 2013, 01:09:05 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on October 10, 2013, 06:41:21 PM
So pulled = cum in Brit speak?

Don't you understand English? Oh, right.
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Eddie Teach on October 11, 2013, 03:05:18 AM
Quote from: Sheilbh on October 10, 2013, 07:01:08 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on October 10, 2013, 06:41:21 PM
So pulled = cum in Brit speak?
Jesus, no. That's a hideous thread title <_<

How about "Penis beakers: coming into fashion?"
Title: Re: Fetch the penis beaker, you've pulled!
Post by: Syt on October 11, 2013, 05:06:08 AM
Quote from: Viking on October 10, 2013, 08:48:46 AM
Am I the only guy who read the thread title "Fetch the penis bReaker, you've pulled!"

Penis Breaker would be a good name for a feminist metal band.