What I Learned From Gay Sex: Misogyny and Homophobia

[Maximus]

Sadly, "lipstick lesbians" appear to be more a creation of porn than a real-life thing - at least, as a generality. 

Not my experience. The majority of the ones I know seem to be quite feminine.

[Martinus]

Gay women ... all appear, as a generality, to favour people who look/act stereotypically "masculine".

I believe this is wrong - there is this whole butch/femme divide in lesbian culture.

I have no serious insight into lesbian culture, but anecdotally, every single lesbian I've ever known has been "butch". Of course that could be because they stand out more, but their GFs were "butch" too.

Sadly, "lipstick lesbians" appear to be more a creation of porn than a real-life thing - at least, as a generality. 

I suspect this may be the same mechanism as with people knowing mainly effeminate gay guys - because non-effeminate ones do not stand out that much.

Press there is also peer pressure at hand here - since most lesbians spend time with other lesbians, this "look" rubs off on them to a degree and so on (same goes for gay guys).

[Malthus]

Gay women ... all appear, as a generality, to favour people who look/act stereotypically "masculine".

I believe this is wrong - there is this whole butch/femme divide in lesbian culture.

I have no serious insight into lesbian culture, but anecdotally, every single lesbian I've ever known has been "butch". Of course that could be because they stand out more, but their GFs were "butch" too.

Sadly, "lipstick lesbians" appear to be more a creation of porn than a real-life thing - at least, as a generality. 

I suspect this may be the same mechanism as with people knowing mainly effeminate gay guys - because non-effeminate ones do not stand out that much.

Press there is also peer pressure at hand here - since most lesbians spend time with other lesbians, this "look" rubs off on them to a degree and so on (same goes for gay guys).

Yeah, it's certainly possible. I don't really know much about that community other than in passing.

Mind you, before actually talking to gay guys I thought that there was a similar split among gay guys - that "masculine" gay guys liked to look for "feminine" gay guys and vice versa (I use scare quotes here but you know what I mean). Actually talking to gay guys, it was a surprise (to me) to learn that most gay guys actually preferred "masculine" looking/acting guys, whatever their own look might be.

Maybe there is a similar-but-opposite thing in action with lesbians - even if they may look "butch" themselves, they prefer their partners to be "femme" (but will settle for "butch" if femme is not available)?

[garbon]

Mind you, before actually talking to gay guys I thought that there was a similar split among gay guys - that "masculine" gay guys liked to look for "feminine" gay guys and vice versa (I use scare quotes here but you know what I mean). Actually talking to gay guys, it was a surprise (to me) to learn that most gay guys actually preferred "masculine" looking/acting guys, whatever their own look might be.

I'm not sure that it would be fair to draw such a broad generalization - either in what you previously though or now thought.

Also I would say, admittedly biased by my circles, but the axis is less along traditional male - female roles and more along boyish vs. (for lack of a better term) grown man types.

[viper37]

Maybe you meant something like sexual relations. I think the sex is probably a bit different unless most heteros engage in pegging.

When it comes to lying to your partner in the hope of engaging in a sexual relation.
That kind of thing described in the articles does happen quite often in hetero sexual relations.  I've girls telling me this often.  I even said so myself a few times.  "I never have unprotected sex".

[Malthus]

Mind you, before actually talking to gay guys I thought that there was a similar split among gay guys - that "masculine" gay guys liked to look for "feminine" gay guys and vice versa (I use scare quotes here but you know what I mean). Actually talking to gay guys, it was a surprise (to me) to learn that most gay guys actually preferred "masculine" looking/acting guys, whatever their own look might be.

I'm not sure that it would be fair to draw such a broad generalization - either in what you previously though or now thought.

Also I would say, admittedly biased by my circles, but the axis is less along traditional male - female roles and more along boyish vs. (for lack of a better term) grown man types.

The generalization is just based on what I'm told, talking to people, I freely admit. For a broader and more accurate picture, one would need more of a sociological survey.

[garbon]

Mind you, before actually talking to gay guys I thought that there was a similar split among gay guys - that "masculine" gay guys liked to look for "feminine" gay guys and vice versa (I use scare quotes here but you know what I mean). Actually talking to gay guys, it was a surprise (to me) to learn that most gay guys actually preferred "masculine" looking/acting guys, whatever their own look might be.

I'm not sure that it would be fair to draw such a broad generalization - either in what you previously though or now thought.

Also I would say, admittedly biased by my circles, but the axis is less along traditional male - female roles and more along boyish vs. (for lack of a better term) grown man types.

The generalization is just based on what I'm told, talking to people, I freely admit. For a broader and more accurate picture, one would need more of a sociological survey.

Well I can't help but wonder, like in the generalization that I added to the post, if what they are saying is deeply colored by the circles they typically travel in.

[garbon]

Maybe you meant something like sexual relations. I think the sex is probably a bit different unless most heteros engage in pegging.

When it comes to lying to your partner in the hope of engaging in a sexual relation.
That kind of thing described in the articles does happen quite often in hetero sexual relations.  I've girls telling me this often.  I even said so myself a few times.  "I never have unprotected sex".

Yeah so like I said, it isn't so much the sex that is the same but the chatter/relations around/getting that sex.

[Martinus]

I think it's an interesting dynamics and I, broadly, think that garbon's characterization (actual attraction runs along the twink - bear axis, not effeminate - masculine axis) is correct.

I have this theory that the effeminate / masculine axis is a by product of inculturation ("scene" gays turn to be more effeminate by hanging out with other effeminate gays) and the fact that a certain degree of effeminate behaviour used to be necessary in order to identify potential mates. Now that this is no longer necessary, this kind of behaviour will be getting less common.

[Valmy]

I think even T does not really fit with the rest of the GLBT - the nature of demands here is entirely different.

You exluded the QIAs!!11

How dare you oppress and exclude and stuff.

[crazy canuck]

Sadly, "lipstick lesbians" appear to be more a creation of porn than a real-life thing - at least, as a generality. 

Not my experience. The majority of the ones I know seem to be quite feminine.

Yeah, most of the lesbians I know would not be considered to have pointy elbows by the languish crowd.

[CountDeMoney]

Sadly, "lipstick lesbians" appear to be more a creation of porn than a real-life thing - at least, as a generality. 

Not my experience. The majority of the ones I know seem to be quite feminine.

Yeah, most of the lesbians I know would not be considered to have pointy elbows by the languish crowd.

You guys obviously haven't worked around enough animal shelters.

[Martinus]

I think even T does not really fit with the rest of the GLBT - the nature of demands here is entirely different.

You exluded the QIAs!!11

How dare you oppress and exclude and stuff.

They can go fuck themselves. Only because I suck guys' cocks/toes, I did not sign up to be grouped together with goths and other weirdos.

Incidentally, I can't stand that whole anti-bullying silliness. Everyone is different in some way. If you are different, you will be bullied, unless you develop social skills and prove you are a boon to your group. If we coddle people and tell them any peer pressure is wrong, we will raise a society of useless sociopathic freaks.

[garbon]

I think even T does not really fit with the rest of the GLBT - the nature of demands here is entirely different.

You exluded the QIAs!!11

How dare you oppress and exclude and stuff.

They can go fuck themselves. Only because I suck guys' cocks/toes, I did not sign up to be grouped together with goths and other weirdos.

I didn't sign up to be grouped with you and yet here we are.

[fhdz]

What's an otter?