Would you consider your spouse getting fat a good reason for divorce?

Started by MadImmortalMan, March 13, 2013, 03:42:49 PM

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Assuming he/she wasn't fat when you married.

Yes
30 (60%)
No
13 (26%)
I'll have a Jumbo Jack with extra ketchup, large fries and a Diet Coke
7 (14%)

Total Members Voted: 49

derspiess

Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 10:05:08 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 14, 2013, 09:39:10 AM
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 09:36:38 AM
The typical marriage vow is "for richer and poorer, through sickness and in health".  It's not about 'just as long as you both are having fun'.

The latter is what's common in practice these days.

Well it shouldn't be. :mad:

Agree.  Though I have a bigger issue if there are children involved in a divorce. 
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Admiral Yi

Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 10:05:08 AM
Well it shouldn't be. :mad:

I think it depends on both parties' thoughts about the permanancy of marriage.  If both parties think marriage is just glorified dating and an excuse to throw a big party, there's really no harm in casual divorce.

Berkut

Quote from: garbon on March 14, 2013, 10:07:56 AM
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 10:05:08 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 14, 2013, 09:39:10 AM
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 09:36:38 AM
The typical marriage vow is "for richer and poorer, through sickness and in health".  It's not about 'just as long as you both are having fun'.

The latter is what's common in practice these days.

Well it shouldn't be. :mad:

Why? Why should people who are unhappy stay together?

I mean I'm not saying they should immediately jump ship as no relationship is ever perfect all the time - but it seems that given our limited time here, why should someone stay with someone who is bringing them down?

I don't think it is so much a question of whether you should stay with someone who is making you unhappy, but evaluating whether or not the right things are driving your happiness.

If your wife putting on a few pounds is the difference between being happy or unhappy, then the problem is probably not really your wife's weight.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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garbon

Quote from: Berkut on March 14, 2013, 10:15:08 AM
If your wife putting on a few pounds is the difference between being happy or unhappy, then the problem is probably not really your wife's weight.

Fair but then I don't think that was the case in the initial article. Wasn't just an issue of a few pounds.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Malthus

Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 09:36:38 AM
Now I'm not a catholic and don't believe that divorce can never happen.  When it comes to weight gain, I would consider it if your partner just completely "gives up on themselves".  That is, gives up any attempt at a healthy diet, gives up any attempt at proper exercise, and just resigns themselves to sitting on the couch till their heart explodes, I would probably get out.


Reading the article in the OP, that's pretty similar to the situation as decribed, albeit with a positive spin ('I learned to accept myself'). 

QuoteAll this time I thought he'd found me beautiful, fat or thin, but suddenly I had to consider that he'd only tolerated my fatness because he knew I was trying my hardest to lose weight.  While I'd been dreaming of being thin, he'd been dreaming too -- of having a thin, conventionally beautiful wife.

But I realized that I couldn't keep promising him -- or myself -- that I would ever be thin, even if I tried. Moreover, I didn't think I should be obligated to keep trying.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

Barrister

I disagree M. The lady in the article said she eats healthily, exercises regularily, and remains active. She just decided that after years and years she was going to stop trying to lose weight.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

garbon

Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 11:05:53 AM
I disagree M. The lady in the article said she eats healthily, exercises regularily, and remains active. She just decided that after years and years she was going to stop trying to lose weight.

I think she's being a little disingenuous that her health is fine and I notice that she qualifies the extent to how her weight affects her by saying "my weight didn't prevent me from doing activities I enjoyed".
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Malthus

Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 11:05:53 AM
I disagree M. The lady in the article said she eats healthily, exercises regularily, and remains active. She just decided that after years and years she was going to stop trying to lose weight.

She says he's healthy. that being fat 'doesn't prevent her from doing the activities she enjoys', and that she swims - but that they 'don't discuss exercise with each other any more'.

Your hypothetical couch potato may very well say the same sorts of things.

I'm pretty cynical about this sort of self-assessment.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

Martinus

Quote from: MadImmortalMan on March 13, 2013, 03:42:49 PM
3: Wife reads on the internet that it's ok to be fat, so she decides to accept it and stop trying

In this case definitely yes, but not because she is fat, but because she is a dumb bitch.

In general, the answer is yes, within reason.

Martinus

Anyway, Internet is horrible with its fat enablers.

When some stupid obese cunt posts her picture in a bikini, the correct response should be derision and abuse, aimed at forcing her to change her habits (or remove herself from the gene pool, so that her atoms may be put to a better use by mother nature - either outcome is desirable); not to have a bunch of other faggots encourage her with "big is beautiful".

Eddie Teach

Quote from: Martinus on March 14, 2013, 11:17:54 AM
Anyway, Internet is horrible with its fat enablers.

When some stupid obese cunt posts her picture in a bikini, the correct response should be derision and abuse, aimed at forcing her to change her habits (or remove herself from the gene pool, so that her atoms may be put to a better use by mother nature - either outcome is desirable); not to have a bunch of other faggots encourage her with "big is beautiful".

She's a lot more likely to be insulted about it on the internet than IRL.
To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

derspiess

Quote from: Peter Wiggin on March 14, 2013, 11:20:29 AM
Quote from: Martinus on March 14, 2013, 11:17:54 AM
Anyway, Internet is horrible with its fat enablers.

When some stupid obese cunt posts her picture in a bikini, the correct response should be derision and abuse, aimed at forcing her to change her habits (or remove herself from the gene pool, so that her atoms may be put to a better use by mother nature - either outcome is desirable); not to have a bunch of other faggots encourage her with "big is beautiful".

She's a lot more likely to be insulted about it on the internet than IRL.

Really depends on where it's posted. 
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Eddie Teach

Well clearly it was posted in a venue where Marty might read it.  :lol:
To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

MadImmortalMan

Quote from: Malthus on March 14, 2013, 11:13:55 AM
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 11:05:53 AM
I disagree M. The lady in the article said she eats healthily, exercises regularily, and remains active. She just decided that after years and years she was going to stop trying to lose weight.

She says he's healthy. that being fat 'doesn't prevent her from doing the activities she enjoys', and that she swims - but that they 'don't discuss exercise with each other any more'.

Your hypothetical couch potato may very well say the same sorts of things.

I'm pretty cynical about this sort of self-assessment.

Me too. You just don't see that many obese 80 year olds. How healthy can it be? Up to a certain point, I can see it. But not 5'2" 320 pounds kind of fat. At least some percentage of this stuff has to be simple rationalization.
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Ideologue

Quote from: Berkut on March 14, 2013, 10:15:08 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 14, 2013, 10:07:56 AM
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 10:05:08 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 14, 2013, 09:39:10 AM
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 09:36:38 AM
The typical marriage vow is "for richer and poorer, through sickness and in health".  It's not about 'just as long as you both are having fun'.

The latter is what's common in practice these days.

Well it shouldn't be. :mad:

Why? Why should people who are unhappy stay together?

I mean I'm not saying they should immediately jump ship as no relationship is ever perfect all the time - but it seems that given our limited time here, why should someone stay with someone who is bringing them down?

I don't think it is so much a question of whether you should stay with someone who is making you unhappy, but evaluating whether or not the right things are driving your happiness.

If your wife putting on a few pounds is the difference between being happy or unhappy, then the problem is probably not really your wife's weight.

The problem is enabling.  Stop enabling.
Kinemalogue
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