Would you consider your spouse getting fat a good reason for divorce?

[crazy canuck]

Fit?  Absolutely not.

But then again you can be fit and healthy and still have excess fat.

For some people trying to be skinny is hopeless (absent absolutely herculean sub-1000 calorie permanent diets).

Then I have no idea what your reference means in context of my post.

How did not being fat becoming being skinny?

[Valmy]

Then I have no idea what your reference means in context of my post.

How did not being fat becoming being skinny?

We don't believe in moderation in North America.

[DGuller]

Fit?  Absolutely not.

But then again you can be fit and healthy and still have excess fat.

For some people trying to be skinny is hopeless (absent absolutely herculean sub-1000 calorie permanent diets).

Then I have no idea what your reference means in context of my post.

How did not being fat becoming being skinny?

It's a Canadian thing.

[Malthus]

There is a world of difference between 'watching what you eat but not actively dieting' and 'eating whatever you want'.

To my mind, "actively dieting" = trying to reduce one's weight by diet, and "watching what one eats" = trying to maintain one's weight (that is, not increase) by diet.

Both are alike in that the person is exercising some sort of control or restraint over intake - something that many people in more or less sedentary occupations have to do, if they are not to gain weight. They differ in the goal (reduction vs. maintenance).

I cannot wrap my head around "fat acceptance". Sure, I'll readily say that societal norms of beauty, particularly female beauty, are often distorted - many "models" look better suited to wearing Auschwitz uniforms than fashionable clothes  - but regulating one's weight within reasonable healthy norms of variation is simply basic to good health, as well as to most people's notions of attractiveness. 

Like many who sit on their asses all day at work, I myself have to struggle with weight and commit to exercise. I don't regard this as unreasonable as an expectation. I'll never look like a model, but with work, I can at least be reasonably fit and healthy (as for good looking - well, can't have everything. I'll settle for as good looking as possible. 

[Eddie Teach]

Sure, I'll readily say that societal norms of beauty, particularly female beauty, are often distorted - many "models" look better suited to wearing Auschwitz uniforms than fashionable clothes  -

[ideologue] fat enabler  [/ideologue]

[Malthus]

Sure, I'll readily say that societal norms of beauty, particularly female beauty, are often distorted - many "models" look better suited to wearing Auschwitz uniforms than fashionable clothes  -

[ideologue] fat enabler  [/ideologue]

Shouldn't that be:

[ideologue] Hawt models in Aucshwitz uniforms? Link me!    [/ideologue]

[Iormlund]

You gain weight after marriage.  You try diet after diet over years and are unable to lose the weight.  You wish you were skinny, but just can't seem to manage to do it.

That's just a pathetic excuse. Very, very few people are fat because they are physically unable to lose weight. Most people are fat because they eat too much, eat shit and don't exercise.

[Iormlund]

So Sisyphus is a role-model to you?

Tantalus would fit better in this thread.

[Eddie Teach]

Or maybe poor Ali Sard.

[Razgovory]

To go back to the original question...

No!

The typical marriage vow is "for richer and poorer, through sickness and in health".  It's not about 'just as long as you both are having fun'.

Weight gain as you age, and in particular weight gain through child birth, is perhaps not inevitable, but is pretty commonplace.  If you're going to decide to have children together, you'd better prepare yourself for the possibility your other half will gain weight.

Now I'm not a catholic and don't believe that divorce can never happen.  When it comes to weight gain, I would consider it if your partner just completely "gives up on themselves".  That is, gives up any attempt at a healthy diet, gives up any attempt at proper exercise, and just resigns themselves to sitting on the couch till their heart explodes, I would probably get out.

But someone who is making attempts at healthy eating, is getting exercise and leaving an active life, but has wound up 20, or even 100lb, overweight?  Well that's what you're signing up for when you get married.

Well there are laws about bigamy so if she doubles her weight your marriage should become automatically annulled.

[Razgovory]

Anyway, Internet is horrible with its fat enablers.

Hey, I try to you make you feel bad.  What the fuck else do you want?

[crazy canuck]

Then I have no idea what your reference means in context of my post.

How did not being fat becoming being skinny?

We don't believe in moderation in North America.

[fhdz]

Well there are laws about bigamy so if she doubles her weight your marriage should become automatically annulled.

[Ideologue]

How would you feel about it if it were the other way around?

Say you get married and then you are the one who got fat.


Personally, I would feel pretty guilty about it. Like I'm somehow betraying her. I think I have a responsibility to at least attempt to be what my spouse considers attractive. It's not like all the other relationships in my life, it has a significant intimate physical component to it too.

But keep going with the analogy.

You gain weight after marriage.  You try diet after diet over years and are unable to lose the weight.  You wish you were skinny, but just can't seem to manage to do it.

Then it's time to give up on fucking attractive people.  Stop enabling.

AND GOD I'M FUCKING STARVING.

[CountDeMoney]

Then I have no idea what your reference means in context of my post.

How did not being fat becoming being skinny?

We don't believe in moderation in North America.

Neither do Germans, but at least our problem is with french fries.