How to dodge jury duty in style.

[Syt]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0430091jury1.html

APRIL 30--There are probably better ways to avoid jury duty than the approach recently taken by a Montana man. After Erik Slye, 36, received a jury notice earlier this year, he filed a notarized affidavit seeking to be excused from serving on a District Court panel in Gallatin County. Slye's caustic affidavit, which he prepared with help from his wife Jennifer, can be found below. The document, of course, did not sit well with court officials and led a judge to threaten to jail Slye. But after being summoned to court, Slye apologized for the affidavit and avoided being cited on a criminal failure to appear rap. And he also was excused from serving on a jury. (1 page)

The style is truly worthy of Languish.

[Grey Fox]

Are you sure he's not from New Hampshire?

[Caliga]

  I'm so doing this the next time I am called.

No, wait, I enjoy putting poors in jail. 

I am: conflicted! 

[jimmy olsen]

 Wow!

I'm surprised he didn't get jailed for that.

[Neil]

Are you sure he's not from New Hampshire?

It's Montana.  Montana out-New Hampshires New Hampshire.

[DisturbedPervert]

I'm so doing this the next time I am called.

Counting the wrinkles on your dog's balls?

[derspiess]

I got summoned for jury duty once for both federal and county courts in the same month.  Confused the hell out of me & I only ended up showing up for one of them.  Couldn't figure out why I got a nasty letter from federal court until I actually compared the mailers side by side 

The weirdo from the federal court who handles these things didn't believe me until I showed up at his office with my county documentation.

[Ed Anger]

I've got a built in excuse. Cops in the family.

[Malthus]

I can't be called for jury duty. 

[garbon]

I'm afraid that they will pick me for something horrible when I have to go in on June 15th.

[Malthus]

I'm afraid that they will pick me for something horrible when I have to go in on June 15th.

A murder trial that lasts eight months. 

[Caliga]

A murder trial that lasts eight months. 

I had to do federal jury duty in Philadelphia one summer while I was in college.  The day I went they were seating jurors for a Mafia racketeering trial. Thankfully I didn't get picked.

[Gambrinus]

I can't be called for jury duty. 

It's not kosher? 

[Caliga]

I can't be called for jury duty. 

It's not kosher? 

Please post more so I can drool over your avatar.  Love, Cal

[Malthus]

I can't be called for jury duty. 

It's not kosher? 

Me = lawyer, thus disqualified.

From the Jury Act:

3.  (1)  The following persons are ineligible to serve as jurors:

1. Every member of the Privy Council of Canada or the Executive Council of Ontario.

2. Every member of the Senate, the House of Commons of Canada or the Assembly.

3. Every judge and every justice of the peace.

4. Every barrister and solicitor and every student-at-law.

5. Every legally qualified medical practitioner and veterinary surgeon who is actively engaged in practice and every coroner.

6. Every person engaged in the enforcement of law including, without restricting the generality of the foregoing, sheriffs, wardens of any penitentiary, superintendents, jailers or keepers of prisons, correctional institutions or lockups, sheriff's officers, police officers, firefighters who are regularly employed by a fire department for the purposes of subsection 41 (1) of the Fire Protection and Prevention Act, 1997, and officers of a court of justice.

Oddly, Veterinarians are disqualified as well.