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How to dodge jury duty in style.

Started by Syt, May 21, 2009, 09:53:19 AM

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Syt

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0430091jury1.html
QuoteAPRIL 30--There are probably better ways to avoid jury duty than the approach recently taken by a Montana man. After Erik Slye, 36, received a jury notice earlier this year, he filed a notarized affidavit seeking to be excused from serving on a District Court panel in Gallatin County. Slye's caustic affidavit, which he prepared with help from his wife Jennifer, can be found below. The document, of course, did not sit well with court officials and led a judge to threaten to jail Slye. But after being summoned to court, Slye apologized for the affidavit and avoided being cited on a criminal failure to appear rap. And he also was excused from serving on a jury. (1 page)

The style is truly worthy of Languish. :lol:
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Grey Fox

Are you sure he's not from New Hampshire?
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Caliga

 :lmfao: I'm so doing this the next time I am called.

No, wait, I enjoy putting poors in jail.  :menace:

I am: conflicted!  :(
0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

jimmy olsen

 Wow! :lmfao:

I'm surprised he didn't get jailed for that.
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

Neil

Quote from: Grey Fox on May 21, 2009, 09:55:10 AM
Are you sure he's not from New Hampshire?
It's Montana.  Montana out-New Hampshires New Hampshire.
I do not hate you, nor do I love you, but you are made out of atoms which I can use for something else.

DisturbedPervert

Quote from: Caliga on May 21, 2009, 10:02:13 AM
:lmfao: I'm so doing this the next time I am called.

Counting the wrinkles on your dog's balls?

derspiess

I got summoned for jury duty once for both federal and county courts in the same month.  Confused the hell out of me & I only ended up showing up for one of them.  Couldn't figure out why I got a nasty letter from federal court until I actually compared the mailers side by side  :blush:

The weirdo from the federal court who handles these things didn't believe me until I showed up at his office with my county documentation.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Ed Anger

I've got a built in excuse. Cops in the family.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Malthus

I can't be called for jury duty.  :D
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

garbon

I'm afraid that they will pick me for something horrible when I have to go in on June 15th. :weep:
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Malthus

Quote from: garbon on May 21, 2009, 10:57:35 AM
I'm afraid that they will pick me for something horrible when I have to go in on June 15th. :weep:

A murder trial that lasts eight months.  ;)
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

Caliga

Quote from: Malthus on May 21, 2009, 12:36:23 PM
A murder trial that lasts eight months.  ;)

I had to do federal jury duty in Philadelphia one summer while I was in college.  The day I went they were seating jurors for a Mafia racketeering trial. :bleeding: Thankfully I didn't get picked.
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Gambrinus


Caliga

Quote from: Gambrinus on May 21, 2009, 12:52:53 PM
Quote from: Malthus on May 21, 2009, 10:55:31 AM
I can't be called for jury duty.  :D
It's not kosher?  :unsure:

Please post more so I can drool over your avatar.  Love, Cal
0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

Malthus

Quote from: Gambrinus on May 21, 2009, 12:52:53 PM
Quote from: Malthus on May 21, 2009, 10:55:31 AM
I can't be called for jury duty.  :D
It's not kosher?  :unsure:
Me = lawyer, thus disqualified.

From the Jury Act:

Quote
3.  (1)  The following persons are ineligible to serve as jurors:

1. Every member of the Privy Council of Canada or the Executive Council of Ontario.

2. Every member of the Senate, the House of Commons of Canada or the Assembly.

3. Every judge and every justice of the peace.

4. Every barrister and solicitor and every student-at-law.

5. Every legally qualified medical practitioner and veterinary surgeon who is actively engaged in practice and every coroner.

6. Every person engaged in the enforcement of law including, without restricting the generality of the foregoing, sheriffs, wardens of any penitentiary, superintendents, jailers or keepers of prisons, correctional institutions or lockups, sheriff's officers, police officers, firefighters who are regularly employed by a fire department for the purposes of subsection 41 (1) of the Fire Protection and Prevention Act, 1997, and officers of a court of justice.

Oddly, Veterinarians are disqualified as well.  :huh:

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius