Referring to my boyfriend to people who do not know I am gay

[Martinus]

Introduce them as your Lover.

Or Dave.  Or "Wiktor".  Or whatever the fuck the name is.
Let other people figure it out, or come to conclusions on their own.

Well, again, this is not about me introducing him to other people, but talking about him in a conversation. And there is nothing I hate more than people who refer to some third person (that the person are talking to has never met) with their name only.

As in, "Oh, Dawid told me today that XYZ." I always want to ask "Who the fuck is Dawid"

[CountDeMoney]

Well, again, this is not about me introducing him to other people, but talking about him in a conversation. And there is nothing I hate more than people who refer to some third person (that the person are talking to has never met) with their name only.

As in, "Oh, Dawid told me today that XYZ." I always want to ask "Who the fuck is Dawid"

That's the way to play it, though.  If you don't want relationship bullshit part of the equation, use proper nouns only.  Let them worry about who the fuck Dawid is.

lol, "Dawid".  Hunting wabbits.

[Malthus]

Use of the term "partner" can lead to lots of amusing misunderstandings among lawyers. 

One of my partners (male) in my department thinks it is amusing to always introduce another partner (female) from the same department as "this is my partner, XYZ". Hilarity ensues.

Lawyers are easily amused I guess.

It's not really funny unless the misunderstanding is unintentional, though. 

[Faeelin]

Marti, do your officemates use the terms boyfriend and girlfriend when talking about them?

[Martinus]

Marti, do your officemates use the terms boyfriend and girlfriend when talking about them?

Yes. Or husband/wife. Sometimes they use first names but only when it is clear who they mean.

[Barrister]

One or the other Marty.  If you're in the closet he's your friend.  If he's your companion or your partner or your boyfriend you're not in the closet.

This.  Either stay in the closet and don't mention him (not recommended, but it's an option), or go full out and call him your boyfriend.

[dps]

girlfriend doesn't seem right for a relationship of nearly 20 years.

Girlfriend seems the lesser of two evils in that case.  Partner just sounds so clunky and stilted.

I like it.

Partner sounds like someone you have a business, not personal, relationship with.  Hence the little play on words by the one guy in Marti's department.

[garbon]

I must admit Marti that I'm a little confused. You seem to be seeking out a way of speaking about him that doesn't obscure the fact that you are dating a man but also doesn't reveal it. I don't think you can have both. Even if you had the option of using a word like partner, you'd still be deceptive - just not as deceptive as if you called him a friend.

[Solmyr]

Marty formulates everything he says like a lawyer.

[DGuller]

Marty formulates everything he says like a lawyer.

Everything except legal discussions.

[CountDeMoney]

I must admit Marti that I'm a little confused. You seem to be seeking out a way of speaking about him that doesn't obscure the fact that you are dating a man but also doesn't reveal it.

It wouldn't be a Marty thread if he wasn't asking one thing and wanting us to validate something else.  LOOK AT ME PLZ

[garbon]

I must admit Marti that I'm a little confused. You seem to be seeking out a way of speaking about him that doesn't obscure the fact that you are dating a man but also doesn't reveal it.

It wouldn't be a Marty thread if he wasn't asking one thing and wanting us to validate something else.  LOOK AT ME PLZ

But what's the look at me here? I mean I don't think any of us were unaware that Marti wasn't completely out at work nor that he had a "boyfriend".  So...

[CountDeMoney]

But what's the look at me here? I mean I don't think any of us were unaware that Marti wasn't completely out at work nor that he had a "boyfriend".  So...

He wants us to validate his urge to talk about his main toe squeeze.

[Eddie Teach]

But what's the look at me here? I mean I don't think any of us were unaware that Marti wasn't completely out at work nor that he had a "boyfriend".  So...

Yeah but we weren't talking about it. Now we are.

[garbon]

But what's the look at me here? I mean I don't think any of us were unaware that Marti wasn't completely out at work nor that he had a "boyfriend".  So...

Yeah but we weren't talking about it. Now we are.

Fair, I suppose.