Real Men Pay

[Martinus]

In Poland, the typical approach to paying (whether on dates or at other occasions) is that everyone broadly pays for himself or herself. I say broadly, as it usually just involves everyone throwing a note or a few vaguely corresponding to the value of what he or she ordered.

You could call it "going Polish".

There are however variations to it:

- if one person is substantially more rich than the other one (especially if the richer one suggested the venue, and especially if it is a date), then he or she should offer to pay - the other person may either accept or offer "going Polish";

- if there are more people (and noone ordered out of line), it is acceptable to offer "going Dutch";

- sometimes people insist on "going Jewish" (the expression of my own ) and go through the receipt with a pen and a calculator, so that everyone pays exactly for what they ordered - it's annoying.

But there is definitely not an expectation for someone who invites another person to a restaurant to pay (exceptions are things like entertaining your clients and whatnot - but still many clients would insist on paying their share).

[Martinus]

Because some men actually ask a girl out to get to know her. I know, novel concept, but it does happen. And interestingly enough, there are a lot of women who don't feel like they should have to have sex to get to know a guy. How bizarre!

I'm not sure about that. Maybe a man who is a 30 year old virgin and desperate, or perhaps a closet homo, or an insanely socially awkward loser. My experience is you sleep around as much as possible, pick up whatever strange comes your way and then maybe one of them is worth establishing a real relationship with. Certainly worked for me.

I don't know about closet homos - among gays, the usual approach is that relationship building is something you start doing once you are bored of sex with each other but can still somehow stand each other's presence.

[Brazen]

Inviter should offer to pay, invitee should offer to pay half, simple as that.

It's only when it gets into "You pay next time" "Err, what next time?" territory it gets awkward.

[mongers]

J.F.C. middle class people over-thinking something.

Hint it doesn't matter in the scheme of things! :gasp:

[Valmy]

J.F.C. middle class people over-thinking something.

I would think this would be even more important to the lower classes.

[Eddie Teach]

J.F.C. middle class people over-thinking something.

I would think this would be even more important to the lower classes.

They just pay or don't.

[Admiral Yi]

The lower classes are too busy beating the shit out of their date in the parking lot to worry about who pays.

[Grey Fox]

The lawyer pays. That's something Malthus thaught me, actually.

[garbon]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

[merithyn]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

That's when I cooked at home for a date, instead of going out.

[Malthus]

The lawyer pays. That's something Malthus thaught me, actually.

It's true. 

Actually, I'd have trouble doing anything with some of my friends if I didn't generally offer to pay - either that, or be limited to venues they can afford (shudder).

[garbon]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

That's when I cooked at home for a date, instead of going out.

Oh I just made sure to be charming and spoke about being poor student at dinner.

[HVC]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

That's when I cooked at home for a date, instead of going out.

Oh I just made sure to be charming and spoke about being poor student at dinner.

you little strumpet, you

[The Larch]

A few years ago I met a couple of Armenian girls, and somehow this topic came up. They said that in Armenia it was always and everytime the man's responsability to pay for everything, even in non-dating scenarios. I still don't know if they were for real or just trying to pull our leg.

[Martinus]

The lawyer pays. That's something Malthus thaught me, actually.

It's true. 

Actually, I'd have trouble doing anything with some of my friends if I didn't generally offer to pay - either that, or be limited to venues they can afford (shudder).

I know. I guess I just know the wrong people, since my friends have always been poorer than me, in general.

When I go out with D., I usually pay the bill but he pays the tip.