Real Men Pay

[derspiess]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

That's when I cooked at home for a date, instead of going out.

That's acceptable

[crazy canuck]

Because some men actually ask a girl out to get to know her. I know, novel concept, but it does happen. And interestingly enough, there are a lot of women who don't feel like they should have to have sex to get to know a guy. How bizarre!

I'm not sure about that. Maybe a man who is a 30 year old virgin and desperate, or perhaps a closet homo, or an insanely socially awkward loser. My experience is you sleep around as much as possible, pick up whatever strange comes your way and then maybe one of them is worth establishing a real relationship with. Certainly worked for me.

You read too many letters to Playboy/Penthouse in your youth and now you are having difficulty separating your fantasy life from reality.

[crazy canuck]

The lawyer pays. That's something Malthus thaught me, actually.

[merithyn]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

That's when I cooked at home for a date, instead of going out.

That's acceptable

[Malthus]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

That's when I cooked at home for a date, instead of going out.

Oh I just made sure to be charming and spoke about being poor student at dinner.

you little strumpet, you

He's capable of being charming when he wants to be? But only chooses to when he's poor? 

Maybe we should impoverish him. 

[Malthus]

The lawyer pays. That's something Malthus thaught me, actually.

It's true. 

Actually, I'd have trouble doing anything with some of my friends if I didn't generally offer to pay - either that, or be limited to venues they can afford (shudder).

I know. I guess I just know the wrong people, since my friends have always been poorer than me, in general.

It can be a problem - if your friends are at a different place financially than you. You don't want to make them feel like parasites, nor do you want to be restricted to only doing stuff they can afford.

[crazy canuck]

The lawyer pays. That's something Malthus thaught me, actually.

It's true. 

Actually, I'd have trouble doing anything with some of my friends if I didn't generally offer to pay - either that, or be limited to venues they can afford (shudder).

I know. I guess I just know the wrong people, since my friends have always been poorer than me, in general.

It can be a problem - if your friends are at a different place financially than you. You don't want to make them feel like parasites, nor do you want to be restricted to only doing stuff they can afford.

Meh, I've never had that problem.  Whenever I meet up with friends from back in the day I happily pay and they happily let me pay.  I also pay for drinks at Languish meets and I have yet to encounter a single complaint.

[Barrister]

It's weird being in oil country.  When I go and hang out with, say, my in-laws, it's true I'm the only lawyer (really only one with any advanced education).  But they all make more than me anyways working in the patch.

[OttoVonBismarck]

Because some men actually ask a girl out to get to know her. I know, novel concept, but it does happen. And interestingly enough, there are a lot of women who don't feel like they should have to have sex to get to know a guy. How bizarre!

I'm not sure about that. Maybe a man who is a 30 year old virgin and desperate, or perhaps a closet homo, or an insanely socially awkward loser. My experience is you sleep around as much as possible, pick up whatever strange comes your way and then maybe one of them is worth establishing a real relationship with. Certainly worked for me.

You read too many letters to Playboy/Penthouse in your youth and now you are having difficulty separating your fantasy life from reality.

I'm guessing you don't get out much if you think sleeping around with women from bars is Penthouse Forum material for someone in their youth. I didn't claim I was snorting coke off movie stars or banging 10 different women a week.

[CountDeMoney]

You read too many letters to Playboy/Penthouse in your youth and now you are having difficulty separating your fantasy life from reality.

I'm guessing you don't get out much if you think sleeping around with women from bars is Penthouse Forum material for someone in their youth. I didn't claim I was snorting coke off movie stars or banging 10 different women a week.

I concur with Otto's approach on the judicious use of saturation bombing early and often, if only to get it all out of your system. 

It was a total blur of ass for me from age 18 to 26...but it drop off precipitously after that, mainly because I was worn out.

[crazy canuck]

Because some men actually ask a girl out to get to know her. I know, novel concept, but it does happen. And interestingly enough, there are a lot of women who don't feel like they should have to have sex to get to know a guy. How bizarre!

I'm not sure about that. Maybe a man who is a 30 year old virgin and desperate, or perhaps a closet homo, or an insanely socially awkward loser. My experience is you sleep around as much as possible, pick up whatever strange comes your way and then maybe one of them is worth establishing a real relationship with. Certainly worked for me.

You read too many letters to Playboy/Penthouse in your youth and now you are having difficulty separating your fantasy life from reality.

I'm guessing you don't get out much if you think sleeping around with women from bars is Penthouse Forum material for someone in their youth. I didn't claim I was snorting coke off movie stars or banging 10 different women a week.

No, I think that guys who need to pick up drunk girls in bars to have sex are a bit pathetic, especially if they reveal that is the method they came to meet their wife.

[garbon]

I've never seen this as much of an issue - except when I was poor and couldn't afford to even pay for myself!

That's when I cooked at home for a date, instead of going out.

Oh I just made sure to be charming and spoke about being poor student at dinner.

you little strumpet, you

He's capable of being charming when he wants to be? But only chooses to when he's poor? 

Maybe we should impoverish him. 

[OttoVonBismarck]

No, I think that guys who need to pick up drunk girls in bars to have sex are a bit pathetic, especially if they reveal that is the method they came to meet their wife.

I was done around 26ish myself like CdM (more like 27ish for me), to be honest no one dated in my social group, seriously. I did not have any friends I grew up with or who became friends of mine in the 20s who went on the popular conception of a "date" where you ask someone out and "screen them" through a dinner together or a series of dinners.

I don't make a value judgment about doing that versus not doing that in truth, it just wasn't part of my social group. Now, the friends I have that are my age and never married, they now go on more formal dates. But in my peer group everyone met their SOs through either hook ups at parties or hook ups at bars (note I didn't only pick up women at bars, I actually met my wife at a party a friend had.) Those hook ups sometimes lead to follow up dates, but no one I know started a relationship in their 20s by going on a formal date with someone they hadn't already banged.

[OttoVonBismarck]

I also am guessing you don't get out much if you think you only meet passed out drunk girls at bars. There is a big difference between picking up a girl who is a few hours from a stomach pump versus two people meeting with the social lubricant.

[garbon]

No, I think that guys who need to pick up drunk girls in bars to have sex are a bit pathetic, especially if they reveal that is the method they came to meet their wife.

Who said need, Mr. Judgmental?