Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know

[MadImmortalMan]

I found that while in Britain and Ireland, people would be much more forgiving of chatting them up at random when they realized I was North American. I think they look at us as hyper-friendly and give us more leeway. Helps when you need directions or something in a place that doesn't believe in standardized street signs.

I was just testing, and irl I'm nothing close to hyper-friendly. 

[dps]

I found that while in Britain and Ireland, people would be much more forgiving of chatting them up at random when they realized I was North American. I think they look at us as hyper-friendly and give us more leeway. Helps when you need directions or something in a place that doesn't believe in standardized street signs.

I was just testing, and irl I'm nothing close to hyper-friendly. 

Perhaps you are by the standards of the British Isles.

[Syt]

Our boss said yesterday he hates people saying good morning/good bye when getting into/out of the elevators. He contemplates answering with "Get lost", or talking casually to a coworker, "I shot my neighbor's dog this morning. Fucking thing wouldn't stop barking so I just had to put a cap in it."

Personally, I think it depends on circumstance. If you go into a shop and have small talk with he staff who service you - sure. In a bar? Definitely. A random person walking up to you in the subway or in the street? Heck, no. They be crazy, and weirdos.

In fact we tried to make it a betting forefeit to sit in the subway and introduce yourself to your co-travellers. "Hi, my name is ..., and I'll be your travelling companion for this ride. What's your name?"

It was not accepted, because no one wanted to be beaten up or have the cops called on them.

[Martinus]

I agree with the sane people here.

Walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation is unacceptable, unless there is an appropriate social context that demands interaction (such as talking to the staff at a store; or if you want to ask for directions or the time, but thankfully, ubiquitous smartphones are making sure everybody knows the time and directions to any place, so people who ask for them are weirdos and need to be reported to the police). Saying "hello" and "good bye" in elevators is fine, but afterwards you are supposed to shut up and avoid eye contact (again, pretending you are reading something on your smartphone helps).

Incidentally, there are very few things that piss me off more than walking into the store and being accosted by a staff member asking me if he or she can help me with anything, when I am quite obviously browsing on my own, not needing any help and avoiding any eye contact with them or otherwise refusing to acknowledge their existence in any way. Same goes for waiters/waitresses asking me if everything is fine, when I am just taking my first bite of food and/or are in the middle of a conversation with other people at the table.

[Martinus]

I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.

You can't possibly be serious.

I agree with Tim. Smiling at other people you don't know means you are an insane nut job. So the study hit the nail on the head for 100% of the article.

[Tamas]

like the other socially inept people here, I concluded "makes perfect sense" until I saw it was the Onion

[Richard Hakluyt]

I found that while in Britain and Ireland, people would be much more forgiving of chatting them up at random when they realized I was North American. I think they look at us as hyper-friendly and give us more leeway. Helps when you need directions or something in a place that doesn't believe in standardized street signs.

I was just testing, and irl I'm nothing close to hyper-friendly. 

It is why Americans are liked in the UK, you create special circumstances where it becomes permissible to speak to strangers. OTOH we also think you are bloody fools who don't know how to read maps, it is the price of popularity 

[Martinus]

like the other socially inept peopleEuropeans here, I concluded "makes perfect sense" until I saw it was the Onion

I actually figured out fairly early it is a satirical peace, because of the way some conclusions are stated. But I agree that, as is the case with a lot of The Onion's pieces, we laugh because it is funny and we laugh because it is true.

Also, FYPFY.

[Martinus]

This actually reminds me of a Polish cartoon I saw recently, which has a guy walking down the street, smiling. In the second frame, he is approached by two cops saying "Why are you so happy, sir? Personal ID card, please."

[Jaron]

This actually reminds me of a Polish cartoon I saw recently, which has a guy walking down the street, smiling. In the second frame, he is approached by two cops saying "Why are you so happy, sir? Personal ID card, please."

Was it a political cartoon or is that a Polish sense of humor?

[garbon]

I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.

You can't possibly be serious.

Why is that?

Because in everyday business transactions, 90% of the time you're dealing with people you don't know, unless you live in a really small town.

That's not really what they are discussing though. Pretty much every example they have is someone speaking to you unnecessarily / just to have a conversation.

Let's put it another way.  In customer service, I'd estimate that about 75% of the conversations you have with customers are unnecessary, but if you don't engage in them, you'll won't have any customers.

Pretty sure that establishes that conversing in that setting isn't unnecessary.

[Monoriu]

I've lived in Vancouver, Berkeley and Hong Kong.  I have to say, my chances of being talked to by total strangers is much much higher in Vancouver or Berkeley than in Hong Kong.  In HK, we don't even talk to neighbours that we know have lived on the same apartment floor for 10+ years.  Of particular annoyance is when I take the lifts in North America.  For some reason, people tend to ask me which floor I go to when I step into a lift.  And sometimes when they enter the lift, they said they wanted to go to xth floor.  No, I am not going to press the button for you. 

[Martinus]

I've lived in Vancouver, Berkeley and Hong Kong.  I have to say, my chances of being talked to by total strangers is much much higher in Vancouver or Berkeley than in Hong Kong.  In HK, we don't even talk to neighbours that we know have lived on the same apartment floor for 10+ years.  Of particular annoyance is when I take the lifts in North America.  For some reason, people tend to ask me which floor I go to when I step into a lift.  And sometimes when they enter the lift, they said they wanted to go to xth floor.  No, I am not going to press the button for you.

You have it with older people in Poland, too. I suspect this could be a habit from the times when lifts would not have an automatic floor selection programme and you would just need to select the floors one at a time, so you would have to select the closest floor first, and only once the lift stopped there, you would select another floor etc.

[sbr]

I've lived in Vancouver, Berkeley and Hong Kong.  I have to say, my chances of being talked to by total strangers is much much higher in Vancouver or Berkeley than in Hong Kong.  In HK, we don't even talk to neighbours that we know have lived on the same apartment floor for 10+ years.  Of particular annoyance is when I take the lifts in North America.  For some reason, people tend to ask me which floor I go to when I step into a lift.  And sometimes when they enter the lift, they said they wanted to go to xth floor.  No, I am not going to press the button for you.

Well you better not be standing anywhere near the buttons then.  I'm not gonna be reaching around, behind or near you to push the button.  It's like the emergeny exit on a plane, you end up there you have certain added responsibilities.

[Neil]

It always depends on the circumstances, but I am not especially surprised that there is a strong correlation between being gay and being unable to function socially.