Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know

Started by garbon, September 25, 2012, 03:25:13 PM

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garbon

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-its-not-okay-to-just-start-talking-to-peopl,29610/

QuoteSTANFORD, CA—Citing how devastatingly uncomfortable it makes people feel, a new report released by the Stanford University Sociology Department revealed Wednesday that it's never okay to just start talking to someone you don't know.

The report, which analyzed numerous conversations that took place over a nine-month period from September of last year through May, states that approaching a complete and total stranger and saying "Beautiful day," "That's nice, where did you get that?" or "Hello" is, under no circumstance, acceptable.

In fact, the study confirmed that in 0 percent of cases do individuals ever want to be spoken to by someone they don't know, and that it is "downright wrong" to put people who are just going about their day in the awkward position of having to be polite and feign interest in what you—an unknown intruder, essentially—are saying.

"We found that the only people it's appropriate to talk to are friends and relatives—no one else," the study's lead author, Dr. Simon Gamble, told reporters, adding that dads, senior citizens, and "people who think they're being friendly but really need to just mind their own business" are typically guilty of trying to relate to unfamiliar people. "Ninety-five percent of the time, the people being talked to experience an extreme spike in anxiety. The only thoughts going through their heads during these unwanted conversations with strangers are 'Stop talking to me. I don't know you. Please go away.'"

Enlarge Image

Experts say something like this, with two people who know each other, is fine.

"If you feel the urge to talk to someone you don't know, the right thing to do is suppress the impulse and just leave that individual alone," he continued, adding that cordially smiling at someone you've never met is also not okay. "It doesn't matter if you both happen to be wearing the same T-shirt."

The report indicates that even in situations in which you might share common circumstances with a stranger—such as when you are both in a long line that doesn't seem to be moving, or are both experiencing hot, cold, nice, or terrible weather—it is unacceptable to verbally acknowledge that reality. The appropriate thing to do, the report notes, is to face forward and keep silent.

In addition, just because you are sitting next to someone you don't know on a bus or airplane, that doesn't give you any right to talk to that person, even if he or she is reading a book you once read. The study goes on to state that talking to an unfamiliar person in a setting where the individual essentially can't escape the conversation is "one of the cruelest things one human being can do to another human being."

"Often, the person being talked to will laugh at the other's jokes," Gamble said. "This is always fake laughter."

The study confirmed the following people never want to be spoken to by a stranger: people eating at the same restaurant as you; someone who is wearing a pair of shoes or a hat you like; individuals who are also waiting for the same delayed train; coworkers; a man or woman who is using a laptop you are considering buying for yourself; an individual attending the same sporting event as you; a young person who works at a job you once had years ago; and anyone who has children or pets, especially if you are a person who also has children or pets.

"If you are an outgoing individual who likes striking up conversations with strangers, you are a source of constant discomfort in this world, and have nothing to offer but anxiety and pain," said Dr. Andrea Malcolm, chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University. "People don't care that you once owned the same car or cellular phone as them, or that you loved it. They don't care about your opinion one way or the other. They just want you to stop making their lives a living hell."

"To them," Malcolm continued, "you might as well be a crazy person, because why are you talking to someone you don't even know?"

According to the report, the people who are living correctly are those who don't want to step outside their comfort zones and relate to others.

"Your comfort zone is there for a reason," Gamble said. "It's so you can stay comfortable. If someone breaches that by saying hello to you, that person is the asshole, not you. Remember that.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

DGuller


mongers

"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

Neil

I do not hate you, nor do I love you, but you are made out of atoms which I can use for something else.

sbr

I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.

jimmy olsen

Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.
You can't possibly be serious.
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

sbr

Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 25, 2012, 05:25:23 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.
You can't possibly be serious.

Why is that?

dps

Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:27:35 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 25, 2012, 05:25:23 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.
You can't possibly be serious.

Why is that?

Because in everyday business transactions, 90% of the time you're dealing with people you don't know, unless you live in a really small town.

Eddie Teach

Where's the corollary finding that it's rarely okay to just start talking to people you do know?
To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

garbon

Quote from: dps on September 25, 2012, 09:45:59 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:27:35 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 25, 2012, 05:25:23 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.
You can't possibly be serious.

Why is that?

Because in everyday business transactions, 90% of the time you're dealing with people you don't know, unless you live in a really small town.

That's not really what they are discussing though. Pretty much every example they have is someone speaking to you unnecessarily / just to have a conversation.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

crazy canuck

Quote from: garbon on September 25, 2012, 11:43:26 PM
Quote from: dps on September 25, 2012, 09:45:59 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:27:35 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 25, 2012, 05:25:23 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.
You can't possibly be serious.

Why is that?

Because in everyday business transactions, 90% of the time you're dealing with people you don't know, unless you live in a really small town.

That's not really what they are discussing though. Pretty much every example they have is someone speaking to you unnecessarily / just to have a conversation.

If you are an American in visiting Calgary you might feel inadequate without your gun in such a situation.

garbon

"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Razgovory

I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

jimmy olsen

Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:27:35 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 25, 2012, 05:25:23 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.
You can't possibly be serious.

Why is that?
Do you meet everyone you know through introduction?  :huh:
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

dps

Quote from: garbon on September 25, 2012, 11:43:26 PM
Quote from: dps on September 25, 2012, 09:45:59 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:27:35 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 25, 2012, 05:25:23 PM
Quote from: sbr on September 25, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
I was good until I read the no smiling at people you don't know line, which seemed a bit off, then I looked up and saw it was the onion.  I think the study hit the nail on the head for 90% of the article though.
You can't possibly be serious.

Why is that?

Because in everyday business transactions, 90% of the time you're dealing with people you don't know, unless you live in a really small town.

That's not really what they are discussing though. Pretty much every example they have is someone speaking to you unnecessarily / just to have a conversation.

Let's put it another way.  In customer service, I'd estimate that about 75% of the conversations you have with customers are unnecessary, but if you don't engage in them, you'll won't have any customers.