John has a long mustache - Edward the Asshole plans to invade Normandy

[Ed Anger]

The genesis for the joke:

I'm walking in this village. I walk into this shop, and do the good day shit.  I hear the gutteral voices of either Germans or Klingons. I pick up a few things, walk out. As I'm walking back to the Ed Fortress, I hear the faint echos of more gutteral krautness.

Now just watch, I'll run into a pack of them at the tours of the battlefield stuff.

[The Larch]

I thought Krauts liked to flop down naked in the broiling sun on their vacations.

They must be too scared to go to Greece this year.

They do that as well. Plenty of Germans to occupy every touristic destination in Europe.

[Ed Anger]

Sweet lord, I just had a fudge mountain mudslide shit and the toilet in the this place didn't handle it well. Note for house hunting: check the plumbing more closely.

And I've had my first craving for a Yankee Imperialist food I cannot obtain here.

[CountDeMoney]

Hey Ed, while you were gone, a train blew the fuck up in Columbus.  Ethanol everywhere.

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Latest-News-Wires/2012/0711/Updated-Freight-train-derails-triggers-fiery-explosion-in-Ohio-video

Pretty bad ass video.

[Ed Anger]

Ohio, a leader in toxic train derailments. 

[Ed Anger]

Well, I am no longer a temperance man. I have developed a taste for Calvados.

The ghost of Carry Nation is going to haunt me when I am on the can.

[Admiral Yi]

Great stuff.

Boner, if you feel like popping out a bunch of dough for something special, pick up a bottle of Chateau d'Yquem.  Sweet wine for grownups.

[Ed Anger]

I'll write that down. My wife would love that stuff when we get back.

Next up, I'll start drinking Jack Daniels from dixie cups.

[Grey Fox]

Mix it with Grape Juice or Orange crush like the kiddies do.

[Ed Anger]

How proletariat.

[Grey Fox]

Yes, that's the point.

To offset it you could always go drink it in Versaille's gardens.

[Ed Anger]

I'm going to occasionally drink 1 small glass of Brandy. And maybe Marie and Aimee too.

<drum rimshot>

Drink like you low class scum? not a chance.

Versailles was overdone, IMHO. Louie the 14 was a pimp however.

[CountDeMoney]

Drink like you low class scum? not a chance.

1%ers. 

[Ed Anger]

I knew I'd get a reaction. 

[Ed Anger]

I explored Frog TV. Found a children's channel (Gulli? Some shit like that). My Little Pony in French? Even more obnoxious.

Inspector Gadget? Hilarious.

Also found the porn channel (XXL or some shit like that). Well, my wife did. The owner blocked that channel and some others from the living room TV. The one in the main bedroom? FULL ON PORN.

Tomorrow (which is minutes away) Bastille Day. Vive L'Empereur.