Question for breeders: why the freak out over cheating?

[PDH]

I am too lazy to read the whole fucking article, especially since Mart trolled at the opening, but has anyone said it is because we have a social system where monogamy is the norm and that behavior is therefore enculturated and nourished (even if it is not 100% practised)?

Your explanation doesn't explain.

tldr

[The Brain]

gtfo

[Richard Hakluyt]

Fidelity is also good for your bank balance and personal happiness.

[PDH]

gtfo

meowtf?

[Eddie Teach]

u mad bro?

[The Minsky Moment]

Fidelity is also good for your bank balance and personal happiness.

I like Fidelity as well but there are other good asset managers and brokerages out there.

[Grey Fox]

To the original question. You should know this Martinus, you are a catholic after all.

[merithyn]

It's unreasonable. It's like showing your affection and loyalty by starving yourself or refraing from peeing for days. If the object of your affection forces you to refrain from satisfying your basic biological needs, then perhaps he/she is unworthy of this affection in the first place?

See, this is where the equality of genders went in the wrong direction. It used to be that men were allowed to fuck around and only women were expected to keep faithful (for obvious reasons, associated with bastardy and feudal system). Now that this system went away, the correct response should have been to give women as much freedom as men - and not by shackling men in the same kind of bondage as women used to be forced into.

I guess I just disagree. To me, the most intimate I can be with someone is during sex. To share that intimacy with someone else would feel disloyal and wrong to me. There is a part of me that really hopes that Max would not want to share that intimacy with anyone else, either. If he did, I would be hurt - probably a bit angry - but it wouldn't end our marriage. It would be a time to sit down and talk about what's going on, what he wants out of our relationship, and what we can do to build a stronger marriage.

I have nothing against the way that you live your life, Marti, but it's not how I want to live mine. I've done things your way before and it was an empty, awful life for me. I prefer the dedicated, monogamous lifestyle to the decadent, do as I want when I want lifestyle.

[Razgovory]

Marty doesn't love anyone, so the idea is strange to him.

[merithyn]

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the real thing I crave is stability. I want to know that he will be there for me, will take care of me, let me take care of him, and that we are a partnership in life. If he's off with other women, that undermines that stability.

[Faeelin]

Hrm. I would turn this around, Marti; why do you like having sex with strangers so much that you would want to do it with someone you would prefer it over a monogamous relationship?

I mean, I get it, sex is fun; but people prefer monogamy for a reason.

[garbon]

I mean, I get it, sex is fun; but people prefer monogamy for a reason.

I think you need a qualifier in there like many or possibly most.

Also, just because someone isn't monogamous doesn't mean they are having sex with strangers.

[grumbler]

I mean, I get it, sex is fun; but people prefer monogamy for a reason.

I think you need a qualifier in there like many or possibly most.

Also, just because someone isn't monogamous doesn't mean they are having sex with strangers.

Yeah, a teeny bit of excluded middle there! 

[dps]

I mean, I get it, sex is fun; but people prefer monogamy for a reason.

I think you need a qualifier in there like many or possibly most.

Also, just because someone isn't monogamous doesn't mean they are having sex with strangers.

Yeah, a teeny bit of excluded middle there! 

Yeah, I'm sure Faeelin and Meri would both look at it differently if they caught the SOs cheating with someone they actuallly know, rather than a complete stranger.  That would make it soooo much better.   

[garbon]

I mean, I get it, sex is fun; but people prefer monogamy for a reason.

I think you need a qualifier in there like many or possibly most.

Also, just because someone isn't monogamous doesn't mean they are having sex with strangers.

Yeah, a teeny bit of excluded middle there! 

Yeah, I'm sure Faeelin and Meri would both look at it differently if they caught the SOs cheating with someone they actuallly know, rather than a complete stranger.  That would make it soooo much better.   

I don't think that's relevant to grumbler or my comments.