Question for breeders: why the freak out over cheating?

[dps]

I mean, I get it, sex is fun; but people prefer monogamy for a reason.

I think you need a qualifier in there like many or possibly most.

Also, just because someone isn't monogamous doesn't mean they are having sex with strangers.

Yeah, a teeny bit of excluded middle there! 

Yeah, I'm sure Faeelin and Meri would both look at it differently if they caught the SOs cheating with someone they actuallly know, rather than a complete stranger.  That would make it soooo much better.  

I don't think that's relevant to grumbler or my comments.

There's a good chance that it isn't.  I've been up about 30 hours straight, so I'm probably not at my sharpest right now. 

[Rasputin]

i do not have enough information to make a valid comparison

first, as we all know, in the hetero world, a woman who cheats on her man is engaging in a reprehensible act of disloyalty and turning her man into a cuckold; stoning her may be a reasonable reaction to this conduct depending upon one's religious beliefs

conversely, a man who breaks off a little piece on the side is "sport fucking" -- this is morally no different than his playing a round of golf or a morning fishing at the lake

therefore, in order to therefore make any valid comparison, marty needs to first tell us whether gays react differently if the cheater is the rump ranger or the pillow biter


finally, its not cheating if it's a menage a trois or the zip code rule is in play and these are variables that add significant complexity to any comparison

[MadImmortalMan]

Thinking about it, I was wondering what my actual reaction would be to finding out I'd been cheated on, and I'm not quite sure. Putting aside the usual bluster and whatever. Would I first be angry? Maybe feel guilty that she'd feel the need to go elsewhere for fulfillment? What if she cheated with a girl--would that make a difference?


Whatever it would be would likely not be the "expected" thing of flying into a rage. Of that I'm fairly certain.

[Rasputin]

If she cheated with a girl that would be just plain hott and not cheating

[MadImmortalMan]

If she cheated with a girl that would be just plain hott and not cheating

I'd like to think I would disagree with that because it's what you're supposed to think. But...no. I have to admit I would have significantly less problem with it. Maybe there is some sort of evolutionary caveman reason like there not being a threat of impregnation.

[Malthus]

If she cheated with a girl that would be just plain hott and not cheating

I'd like to think I would disagree with that because it's what you're supposed to think. But...no. I have to admit I would have significantly less problem with it. Maybe there is some sort of evolutionary caveman reason like there not being a threat of impregnation.

Or, without going all biological-determinismy on us - less threat of invidious comparison, and greater potential for - collaboration.