Weird Dream of the Week

[Ed Anger]

Just woke up from a nap where I had a weird dream Mayor Ford (of crackhead fame) was a manager of a supermarket who tried to frame me for stealing fruit. He pulled out a gun on me while calling the cops and had a nervous break down and made me call his mother on his phone. then the cops arrived and tackled him and I woke up. Colds and naps do not mix.

Frame you? You are an eggplant and therefore guilty.

[HVC]

Just woke up from a nap where I had a weird dream Mayor Ford (of crackhead fame) was a manager of a supermarket who tried to frame me for stealing fruit. He pulled out a gun on me while calling the cops and had a nervous break down and made me call his mother on his phone. then the cops arrived and tackled him and I woke up. Colds and naps do not mix.

Frame you? You are an eggplant and therefore guilty.

I'm more disturbed that he made me call his mother. That was just really odd.

[Barrister]

Just woke up from a nap where I had a weird dream Mayor Ford (of crackhead fame) was a manager of a supermarket who tried to frame me for stealing fruit. He pulled out a gun on me while calling the cops and had a nervous break down and made me call his mother on his phone. then the cops arrived and tackled him and I woke up. Colds and naps do not mix.

Frame you? You are an eggplant and therefore guilty.

I'm more disturbed that he made me call his mother. That was just really odd.

I'm just disturbed that you dreamed about Rob Ford.

[Ed Anger]

Tonight's fun one:

I'm trapped inside an old style toys r us. The game aisle is full of old wargames from the 70's. A leprechaun shows up and tells me I need to use my Geoffrey bucks before they expire. Then the asshole chases me through the store. The dream ends in a toy lightsaber duel and he bashes my brains in.

I wake up.

[Tamas]

You must be making that shit up.

[jimmy olsen]

I was walking outside and around three dozen light planes come roaring into view flying low, crisscrossing each other and doing all kinds of loops and stunts at close range, it looked really dangerous. I think for some reason that the Red Sox have been kidnapped and are on these planes, but I find out as I swim to my mother's house (turns out I'm on a series of hilly islands) and the planes begin crashing around me into the sea and shore that each drone piloted plane has star players from an NFL team on it. One crashes in front of me turns out that it had Falcco, Ray Rice and Ray Lewis on it. Then I woke up. 

[Darth Wagtaros]

Last night I was talking to some truly fucked up people about the old Star Wars Hoth battle sets with the die cast figurines (http://www.ebay.com/bhp/star-wars-die-cast-hoth) and then it swithed to watching a messed up Empire Strikes Back.  The storm troopers, Darth Vader, and Boba Fett were engaged in a wild melee with Han Solo and some other guys outside the rebel base.  They were hurling syringes at each other's heads.

[Savonarola]

Julie Andrews (with her Sound of Music haircut) was making a fruit salad, and she sang a song about each of the fruits as she was chopping them up.

Peach on every felon
Slice each nectarine
Plum every depth
Until you find your dream.

[jimmy olsen]

Was in an elevator with a woman and another man. It opened up into interstellar space. The man got sucked out, me and the woman hung on and managed to stay inside, but we started to suffocate/freeze to death. Just as I was losing conciousness I woke up.

[Ideologue]

Was she hot?

[Ed Anger]

I dreamt I was in a massage parlor. You know, the ones with the happy endings. I sat in the waiting room.

THAT WAS THE DREAM.  MINDFUCK!

[MadImmortalMan]

Let's see if I can remember all this...


So I'm making a TV show about someplace in the midwest, probably rural Ohio--there were broken down barns and cornfields and kids smoking pot in the cornfields everywhere. It was basically the dukes of hazzard, big ten version. I was not starring in the show, but I was responsible for making it. Somehow. Like telling people what to do and how to film things and whatever.

The Dukes' (they were called something else) car was a 1974 AMC Eagle. I know because I was looking at it and thinking wtf is this car? So I looked at the label inside the door where the vin number is and stuff and that's what it said. There is no such thing as a 1974 AMC Eagle, afaik AMC began making cars in 1980. But this car looked exactly like the Eagle would look if it had been made in the peak of muscle car days. It was dirt brown with no adornment whatsoever. Just a brown car. No cool Union battle flag on the roof and it wasn't named the General Sherman or anything, sadly.

It had the sort of slightly lifted suspension with wheels just a little bigger than they ought to be that the Eagles usually had. I was having fun instructing the stunt men to drive it through the corn fields while we filmed them essentially churning up the fields and flinging stalks of corn fifteen feet in the air behind them. I don't know why that was so important. It was a big part of the show's premise though.

Oh and they jumped it over collapsed barns all the time too. The fields always seemed so soft and absorbed all the impacts with flinging dirt and corn. They chased a lot of high school kids in pickup trucks through the fields. Usually the people in the pickup trucks were smoking weed.

Somebody came to me and demanded I put some werewolves and vampires in the show. I refused in order to preserve the show's creative integrity. I did agree to put some pretty girls in though.

The show's soundtrack was mostly Souza marches, but there was a recurring theme song for field chases that I must have made up. Have you ever composed musical scores in your dreams? Sometimes I do that. I wish I had a way to record them.

Anyway, after the producer who wanted the vampires left I got in the car to see what the heck was up with it. It looked like a standard Eagle on the inside except it was a wagon. Bigger on the inside.. I had a friend with a wagon version so I guess that's where that came from. All brown. Brown dash, brown seats, all the same color brown. There was a CB radio under the dash and even that had been spray-painted brown, but it worked. When I turned it on it was some emergency channel and cops and firemen and whoever else were frantically chattering about some terrorist attack in progress. So I turned it off.

I got out of the car and everyone had gone home from the set, which was on one of those country roads that the county paves with a soft asphalt and gravel coating and it's about the width of a normal road in a European city but what most Americans consider only one lane wide. It was a white house with a short driveway on the right (north I think?) side and the brown car was kept parked there. Where the driveway met the one lane road there were two white concrete posts. Bollards. They are actually illegal to put there because the easement requires anything that close to the road must be able to break away if hit by a car. That's true, btw.

So there are two illegal posts and the telephone/power poles run down the road on the opposite side as the house. One of the posts is immediately opposite the driveway, and it has a transformer on it where the post meets the crossbeams at the top. An owl sits on that all the time, even in the daytime. I think it's real and not plastic.

I began doing calculations on how much cornfield we had wrecked and how many more episodes of the show we could film before planting more corn.

[Admiral Yi]

Too long; woke up before it ended.

[derspiess]

Had a dream I was in a bar somewhere arguing the correct pronunciation of "Rakoczy".

[garbon]

I had a dream that I met Obama. A group of friends and I had drinks with him and then we went to Wendy's to eat. It was like a restaurant like Wendy's that had all these unusual things on the menu. Obama actually turned out to be a non-dickish, down-to-earth person and at one point he gave me his direct number.