The Future Mother-in-law draws blood.

[Grey Fox]

I hate Peppers. Sadly, I can't digest cooked Onions

[garbon]

One cannot know whether they like a food in front of them without tasting it.  Even asparagus tastes good if absolutely fresh and prepared properly. 

Okay, Dad.

[Barrister]

One cannot know whether they like a food in front of them without tasting it.  Even asparagus tastes good if absolutely fresh and prepared properly. 

Okay, Dad.

I don't get the "even asparagus".  Asparagus is delicious.

[Habbaku]

I hate Peppers. Sadly, I can't digest cooked Onions

[grumbler]

I don't get the "even asparagus".  Asparagus is delicious.

I don't get what you don't get.  Asparagus is, indeed, delicious, as I noted.  It has to be fresh and not over-cooked, because if not fresh, or if over-cooked, it tastes like vomit, but fresh and well-cooked it is delicious.

It does make your piss look and smell bad, but one cannot have everything. 

[Legbiter]

The MIL is a raging cunt-beast etiquette-wise for personally admonishing the DIL for any breaches of good form. What is traditional in these matters is to speak discreetly to the family member responsible for bringing the guests over, if there are any issues.  And Freddie? It is funny how a letter like this can cause the mind to imagine a thousand details about him based on just a few words. 

But let's look at her most salient points.

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.

Correct.

you do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else.

Correct.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

Er, unless this is a formal dinner where asking for seconds would break up the flow of courses I don't get this one. If the food is in bowls on the table - then you are free to take more so long as you don't do the the Norwegian Arm maneuver (that is reach way across someone's personal space to get at the salad, for example). Unless the DIL went back to the kitchen to get more, which would be very rude.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.

Correct, but a good host would speak beforehand to the guest about when breakfast would be served OR go to pains to emphasize that the guest was free to relax and sleep in.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.

A cheese basket & a bottle of red along with a heartfell hug with copious amount of praise is a nice gesture in this regard. But I suspect that if the DIL had expressed her gratitude this would never have arisen as an issue.

[merithyn]

That's madness.   

But it goes to show that sometimes once someone makes up their mind no matter of logic or reason will change it.

How is it illogical or unreasonable to like or dislike a food? It's a matter of taste - and in this case, texture - not logic or reason. Your comment makes no sense, unless you think you can reason yourself into eating roasted cockroaches or fried dung.

And you call yourself Mexican? 

This caused a whole lot of problems at home, believe me. Hence the "I've pureed them, so you'll never know they're there!" comment.

You like scallions and leeks but not onions? 


That defies logic.

They have different tastes and textures, even if they're in the same family. This one always throws me. If I can tell the difference between them, why can't those of you who like onions?

[DGuller]

I'm with Meri, some foods I just can't stand no matter what.  Like hummus, for example.  I've never tried it, but I'm convinced that I will never be able to tolerate it.

[merithyn]

I'm with Meri, some foods I just can't stand no matter what.  Like hummus, for example.  I've never tried it, but I'm convinced that I will never be able to tolerate it.

The difference is that I have eaten onions. I can't escape them! And because I have eaten them... many many times... I know that I really can't stand them.

[DGuller]

I stand by my decision.  Why eat hummus when I can just get a triple stacker?

[garbon]

I stand by my decision.  Why eat hummus when I can just get a triple stacker?

Have you looked in the mirror lately?

[Razgovory]

I stand by my decision.  Why eat hummus when I can just get a triple stacker?

I've tried it.  It's not to bad.

[grumbler]

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.

Correct.

Incorrect.  One can note that one observes kosher, or is a vegetarian, or is diabetic, as a reason for not eating a food.  Positive allergies fall in there as well, of course, but there are any reasons one can decline one food or request another.

you do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else.

Correct.

Possibly correct, possibly not correct.  One can ask for additional helpings of a dish one liked quite well, and one can often start eating or drinking first, depending on the circumstances.  Some hosts at sit-down meals won't eat until guests do, and if everyone waits until someone else eats, no one eats.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

Er, unless this is a formal dinner where asking for seconds would break up the flow of courses I don't get this one. If the food is in bowls on the table - then you are free to take more so long as you don't do the the Norwegian Arm maneuver (that is reach way across someone's personal space to get at the salad, for example). Unless the DIL went back to the kitchen to get more, which would be very rude.

Agreed, and would note that this is "take additional helpings," which would mean the dishes are already on the table.  Unless MIL is being a positive asshole by torturing the people around the table with food that will not be allowed as seconds, why is it there, if not to be eaten?  Only a complete control freak would insist on initiating all movements towards seconds.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.

Correct, but a good host would speak beforehand to the guest about when breakfast would be served OR go to pains to emphasize that the guest was free to relax and sleep in.

Depends.  I have never been to a house where breakfast is a formal meal.  One generally can arrive for breakfast, or skip it, at one's leisure.  One shouldn't expect to be fed if one skips breakfast, of course, unless that was noted as the fashion of the house (which it often is, with breakfast being DIY).  If the host wants breakfast to be a formal meal then, as you note, he or she has to be specific on times, dress, and the like, just as for other formal meals.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.

A cheese basket & a bottle of red along with a heartfell hug with copious amount of praise is a nice gesture in this regard. But I suspect that if the DIL had expressed her gratitude this would never have arisen as an issue.

Yeah, the hand-written thank-you note is still formally required, but that requirement is often more honored in the breach, I am afraid.  The only thing more horrifically bad-mannered than not sending a thank-you note is sending a note whining about not receiving a thank-you note, however. 

[DGuller]

I stand by my decision.  Why eat hummus when I can just get a triple stacker?

Have you looked in the mirror lately?

I look in the mirror all the time.  Why are you asking?

[jimmy olsen]

Onions are delicious in all forms, peppers I prefer raw.