Your boyfriend/girlfriend friends and you

Started by Martinus, June 15, 2011, 01:10:46 PM

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Martinus

June 15, 2011, 01:10:46 PM
Ok, how long into a relationship would you expect to get to know friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend. This is not technically an advice thread - I just wanted to see what people find acceptable in this respect (because I got such varying responses from "real life" people).

crazy canuck

#1
June 15, 2011, 01:14:52 PM
Normally before they became my girlfriend.  But the world has now changed and people meet over the internet.

Slargos

#2
June 15, 2011, 01:16:34 PM
I've ended up in some uncomfortable situations that way before, and now I never agree to socialise with the friends of hookers.

MadImmortalMan

#3
June 15, 2011, 01:16:38 PM
Five dates or so.
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Berkut

#4
June 15, 2011, 01:17:46 PM
At any point that you become exclusive, you should have no problem introducing them to your friends. You don't have to go out of your way to do so however.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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Josquius

#5
June 15, 2011, 01:19:46 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 15, 2011, 01:14:52 PM
Normally before they became my girlfriend.  .

:yes:
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Strix

#6
June 15, 2011, 01:21:33 PM
I think it would depend on the types of friends involved. Does the boyfriend/girlfriend spends tons of time with these people (as in the show Friends) or are they friends they do things with infrequently? Is the boyfriend/girlfriend leaving you behind to spend time with them (a warning sign)?

If they are close friends they spend lots of time with than I would want to meet them as soon as possible. If they are unwilling to meet me or my bf/gf is unwilling to introduce me than something is not right about the situation. If they are friends who my bf/gf spends infrequent time with than I meet them when I meet them, perhaps suggesting throwing a dinner party to invite them to.
"I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left." - Margaret Thatcher

Valmy

#7
June 15, 2011, 01:21:56 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 15, 2011, 01:14:52 PM
Normally before they became my girlfriend.  But the world has now changed and people meet over the internet.

Woah.  I would never date people who know my friends or I know their friends.  Talk about social disaster if the relationship goes south.  Do not shit where you eat.  Drama city.

Also the reason why I keep my friends away from my girlfriends before I decided it was going to be a serious relationship.  So a few months I guess.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Valmy

#8
June 15, 2011, 01:22:23 PM
Quote from: Berkut on June 15, 2011, 01:17:46 PM
At any point that you become exclusive, you should have no problem introducing them to your friends. You don't have to go out of your way to do so however.

Yep.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

MadImmortalMan

#9
June 15, 2011, 01:24:12 PM
Don't meet the friends until AFTER the girlfriend status is achieved.
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Martinus

#10
June 15, 2011, 01:26:13 PM
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately. To be honest I've found it a rather big cause for concern... but then I started talking to my work friends in similar relationships (rather big age difference, only heterosexual) and they have the same thing going.

Could be lawyers are fucked up.

Martinus

#11
June 15, 2011, 01:27:34 PM
Also, I started to mention this, but at the same time I don't want to appear too needy/paranoid/nosy.

Fuck, this has become an advice thread. :P

MadImmortalMan

#12
June 15, 2011, 01:28:52 PM
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:26:13 PM
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately.

Not only is that ok, it's essential. Go with it.
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Valmy

#13
June 15, 2011, 01:30:42 PM
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:26:13 PM
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately.

Very normal.  In fact highly recomended.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Martinus

#14
June 15, 2011, 01:30:48 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 15, 2011, 01:28:52 PM
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:26:13 PM
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately.

Not only is that ok, it's essential. Go with it.

Ok but what about dodging the question / idea of introducing/meeting each other's friends? It begins to sound dodgy. Like there is something to hide.  :ph34r:
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