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Your boyfriend/girlfriend friends and you

Started by Martinus, June 15, 2011, 01:10:46 PM

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Grey Fox

Do you just want to meet them or also start hanging out with them?

Ive met most of my girlfriend friends & other then exploring the possibilities of threesomes, I have nothing in common with any of them.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Jacob

I'm married now, so it isn't topical for me but back when it applied:

Whenever it pops up naturally.

E.g.: we agreed to hang out on Friday, but there's a show I want to go to. The obvious solution is to bring the girl and if any of my friends are there they'll meet her and vice versa.

If my friends are doing something that the girl might enjoy and it's not an "just for us old friends" type thing, I'll invite the girl along whether she's someone I'm courting, someone I'm non-comittally seeing or someone I'm in a committed relationship with (unless there are strong reasons not to, but that would usually mean that the relationship is going nowhere).

Jacob

Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:30:48 PMOk but what about dodging the question / idea of introducing/meeting each other's friends? It begins to sound dodgy. Like there is something to hide.  :ph34r:

Just bring him along some time when other people are bringing their partners too - like to a birthday party or a dinner or something.

No need to dodge it or make a big deal about it either way, IMO.

Martinus

Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 01:34:12 PM
Do you just want to meet them or also start hanging out with them?

Ive met most of my girlfriend friends & other then exploring the possibilities of threesomes, I have nothing in common with any of them.

I would like to meet them. I find the fact that I haven't met any of them rather weird. Anyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in (I suppose it's a bit different from "normal" then).

viper37

Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:10:46 PM
Ok, how long into a relationship would you expect to get to know friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend. This is not technically an advice thread - I just wanted to see what people find acceptable in this respect (because I got such varying responses from "real life" people).
depends wich friends and where they are.
If her good friends are in another city, I'd say a few months.
If she has friends nearby, I'd say a couple of weeks.

Anyway, the first few weeks in a relationship are spent fucking, no room for friends there.
I don't do meditation.  I drink alcohol to relax, like normal people.

If Microsoft Excel decided to stop working overnight, the world would practically end.

viper37

#20
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:37:16 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 01:34:12 PM
Do you just want to meet them or also start hanging out with them?

Ive met most of my girlfriend friends & other then exploring the possibilities of threesomes, I have nothing in common with any of them.

I would like to meet them. I find the fact that I haven't met any of them rather weird. Anyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in (I suppose it's a bit different from "normal" then).
dated a girl 10 years younger than me, last year.  Worst mistake of my life.  Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.

I wasn't really bothered by not meeting her friends, but I never expected this relation to become serious, so I might not be the best one to give advice :D
I don't do meditation.  I drink alcohol to relax, like normal people.

If Microsoft Excel decided to stop working overnight, the world would practically end.

Drakken

Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
dated a girl 10 years younger last year.  Worst mistake of my life.  Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.

If you did not expect the relation to become serious with that ho golddigger, why did you waste 2,000 bucks on her?

The spending should have been a clue...

Martinus

[crazycanuck]Was she a hooker?[/crazycanuck]

Grey Fox

Oh he's younger.

You should make a point of meeting them but be prepared for the fact that you are old the geizer that will be seen as the dad of the group.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

MadImmortalMan

He doesn't want his friends fucking up his chances with you. He'll wait until things are more stable. No big deal, IMO.
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Slargos

Quote from: Drakken on June 15, 2011, 01:42:25 PM
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
dated a girl 10 years younger last year.  Worst mistake of my life.  Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.

If you did not expect the relation to become serious with that ho golddigger, why did you waste 2,000 bucks on her?

The spending should have been a clue...

Still seems very cheap.

Ideologue

$2k in two months seems pretty excessive, unless you went on a vacation.
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Caliga

Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
:o
0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

Valmy

Quote from: Caliga on June 15, 2011, 02:54:06 PM
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
:o

You just walked out on Cal's fantasy come true :P
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crazy canuck

Quote from: Valmy on June 15, 2011, 01:21:56 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 15, 2011, 01:14:52 PM
Normally before they became my girlfriend.  But the world has now changed and people meet over the internet.

Woah.  I would never date people who know my friends or I know their friends.  Talk about social disaster if the relationship goes south.  Do not shit where you eat.  Drama city.

Also the reason why I keep my friends away from my girlfriends before I decided it was going to be a serious relationship.  So a few months I guess.

Back in the day it would have been very difficult to date someone to the point of becoming their boyfriend/girlfriend without coming into contact with their friends since the main method of meeting people was through actual social contact.  These days it seems that is not as necessary as I am told that internet dating is all the rage.

It doesn't mean people only dated people who knew their friends.  It means that within the first few dates and by the time they became an item it was almost impossible not to get to know their friends to some extent.  However, I recognize the world is now a different place.