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Started by Martinus, May 04, 2011, 02:53:05 PM

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garbon

Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Ed Anger

Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:06:34 PM
I find the idea of TBR offensive, there should be no secrets between us.  I demand to be made a member as a compensation.  :mad:

No dogs or Slavs allowed
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Caliga

Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).
Tell him the truth?  If he's mature/not stupid he ought to understand.
0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

Fireblade


The Brain

Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

Just tell him straight (:bleeding:) up. "It's not you, it's the HIV" I'm sure he gets that a lot and should be used to it.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Barrister

Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:08:28 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:07:28 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:

What would you do?

It's a version of "it's not you, it's me".  You apologize that you aren't mature enough to be able to deal with it, but, well, you aren't.

It's still rough, but that's about the most decent way to deal with it.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Valmy

Less shitty than if you contract HIV from him.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Fireblade

Quote from: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:11:30 PM
Less shitty than if you contract HIV from him.

He finds out tomorrow. I'll be sure to inform everyone once I have word. :)

DGuller

Quote from: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 03:08:00 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:06:34 PM
I find the idea of TBR offensive, there should be no secrets between us.  I demand to be made a member as a compensation.  :mad:

No dogs or Slavs allowed
That racist!   :mad:  And specieist!  :mad:

Camerus

Lots of people (including myself) wouldn't want a relationship with an HIV positive partner.  Just politely tell him how you feel.

Slargos

Quote from: Barrister on May 04, 2011, 03:11:07 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:08:28 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:07:28 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:

What would you do?

It's a version of "it's not you, it's me".  You apologize that you aren't mature enough to be able to deal with it, but, well, you aren't.

It's still rough, but that's about the most decent way to deal with it.

Now, see, that is fucking ridiculous. HIV is still a big enough deal that it shouldn't be "selfish" or "immature" to want to avoid the risk of contamination above and beyond existing protection.

If I caught the fag-disease, and my brother no longer wanted me around his kids, it would break my heart but I would goddamned well respect his fear and I certainly wouldn't resent him for it.

Sophie Scholl

Sorry for being off on what the issue is, but that used to be a constant one.  As to the issue at hand, I'd have to go with the rest of The Mob and advocate telling him.  Being honest with him will allow the issue to resolve itself naturally and in my opinion have the least likely chance of negative repercussions.  Sometimes it's tough making the call to do the right thing, but that doesn't make it any less necessary.  You owe it to yourself and to him to come clean about your reasoning, and I think that ultimately you'll thank yourself for doing so.
"Everything that brought you here -- all the things that made you a prisoner of past sins -- they are gone. Forever and for good. So let the past go... and live."

"Somebody, after all, had to make a start. What we wrote and said is also believed by many others. They just don't dare express themselves as we did."

garbon

Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:08:28 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:07:28 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:

What would you do?

I'd be seeing him so the issue wouldn't come up.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Grey Fox

See? You don't need TBR to get advice.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Fireblade

Marcin just got his test results back.

IT'S AIDS!