Dumb criminal stories

[Barrister]

Just reading a file.  A drunk wanders in off the street into an ongoing Taekwondo class and starts challenging one of the participants to a fight.

I thought it was going to get really entertaining as the guy gets his ass kicked, but no they were more responsible and gave him the bum's rush out the door.

[Malthus]

Just reading a file.  A drunk wanders in off the street into an ongoing Taekwondo class and starts challenging one of the participants to a fight.

I thought it was going to get really entertaining as the guy gets his ass kicked, but no they were more responsible and gave him the bum's rush out the door.

Who got charged?

[mongers]

Just reading a file.  A drunk wanders in off the street into an ongoing Taekwondo class and starts challenging one of the participants to a fight.

I thought it was going to get really entertaining as the guy gets his ass kicked, but no they were more responsible and gave him the bum's rush out the door.

Who got charged?

The students, for failing to provide a sufficiently entertaining episode for the chief prosecutor.

[Barrister]

Just reading a file.  A drunk wanders in off the street into an ongoing Taekwondo class and starts challenging one of the participants to a fight.

I thought it was going to get really entertaining as the guy gets his ass kicked, but no they were more responsible and gave him the bum's rush out the door.

Who got charged?

The bum agrees to leave, then goes to shake the fellow's hand.  When he does he does a twist and tries to take the taekwondoe guy down to the ground.  He fails.

He's charged simple assault and cause a disturbance in public.

[sbr]

Well I guess prosecutors have to do something in the down time between covering up for cops murdering civilians.

[Malthus]

Well I guess prosecutors have to do something in the down time between covering up for cops murdering civilians.

WTF

[DGuller]

Shots fired, shots fired!

[Barrister]

Reviewing a file where a dude is preparing hash oil in his basement using butane.  Police working theory is that the pilot light in the furnace ignites the butane, but in any event there's a huge explosion giving the guy 40% burns on his body, while also injuring his wife and one of their children (who is hit by the basement door when its blown off its hinges).

[CountDeMoney]

I kinda miss doing staff review for charging docs.  I mean, you just don't make up "the room displayed signs of having been rammed sacked recently..." on your own, you know. 

[Archy]

Strangest incident of burglary we had in our office building,  this happened to a trucking company with which we shared the building. One morning we came to the office and the door was forced but nothing was taken. Strangely enough the tachographs of the trucking company were missing though. Off course since not much was gone the police didn't further investigate

My little theories.
1)someone of that company made the tachographs dissappear and made it look like a burglary.
2)burglar saw that not much was to be taken and left. Trucking company used this as a useful moment to get rid of the tachographs.

[Jacob]

What's a tachograph?

[CountDeMoney]

A kind of black box for truckers.

[Archy]

They're used over here to control driving and resting times.
If tachographs with infringements dissappear it would be beneficial for the company.

[CountDeMoney]

Completely anti-management, anti-free market gadgets.  Such pro-employee safety, uniony thingies would never catch on here.  Smacks of Communism^tm.

[Archy]

Over here they've found a simple way to circumvent this.
Instead of using a regulated truck, take some Eastern European vans. They aren't bound to resting hours and have no tachograph.
Problem solved.