Dumb criminal stories

[merithyn]

Holy crap.

This is.... crazy.....

[Syt]

Police in Vienna caught three cyclists who were high on weed. They noticed them when they were waiting at a traffic light. When the light switched to green, instead of moving on, they just kept staring at the light, mesmerized.

[The Brain]

Police in Vienna caught three cyclists who were high on weed. They noticed them when they were waiting at a traffic light. When the light switched to green, instead of moving on, they just kept staring at the light, mesmerized.

People who don't immediately go on green are the worst.

[Josquius]

BBC News - No porridge for 'Goldilocks' intruder who burgled Nelson home
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-29614870

Old, but just been reminded of it. Truly bizzare.

[garbon]

What's so bizarre about a squatter?

[Syt]

When you read a headline on r/nottheonion and think, "Probably Florida?"

And it turns out you're right.

https://apnews.com/d67c8b565e729a7b1b8d919f993f6b6e

Police: Men broke into home while wearing GPS ankle monitors

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. (AP) — A group of men already on pretrial release for previous offenses are behind a string of burglaries carried them out while wearing ankle monitors that track their locations, police said.

Authorities seized more than $150,000 in cash, an AK-47, a Smith & Wesson handgun, cellphones, iPads, jewelry, designer handbags, ammunition, blank checks, fraudulent debit and credit cards, and a stolen vehicle, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported.

Zion Odain Denvor Hall, 21, Tyrek Davontae Williams, 19, and Tremaine Raekwon Hill, 18, were arrested Friday. They are accused of being part of a criminal organization committing burglaries, armed burglaries, fraud, gun thefts and other criminal acts throughout South Florida, Hollywood police said Tuesday.

Hall, Williams and Hill each face charges of burglary, grand theft and racketeering. Hall is facing 35 counts, and Williams and Hill are facing 25 and 19 counts respectively. They were taken into custody while under house arrest awaiting trial on unrelated charges.

Hollywood and Margate police, the Broward Sheriff's Office and the Florida Attorney General's Office are conducting a joint investigation.

[Valmy]

Raekwon? His parents didn't even give him a chance

[merithyn]

Raekwon? His parents didn't even give him a chance

It's not an uncommon black name.

Unless you're saying that by having a "stereotypical black name", his parents drove him to a life of crime?

[Syt]

Tyrek

I expect better from Vulcans.

[Valmy]

Raekwon? His parents didn't even give him a chance

It's not an uncommon black name.

Unless you're saying that by having a "stereotypical black name", his parents drove him to a life of crime?

It's a stage name FFS!

I was just having some fun with the reference, not touching that race stuff.

[Barrister]

So I was in court yesterday, set to run a trial on an impaired driving charge.  Very very routine thing - I must've run over 100 by this point.

Accused was in custody which was causing a problem.  Ultimately the system didn't bring him to court.

But I look into why this guy is in custody.  Turns out he's at the Drumheller Institution, which is a federal prison (so for sentences of 2+ years).  Impaired would almost never get a sentence like that - and of course he hasn't been sentenced yet.

Turns out this Accused is in his late 60s.  In 1981 he was convicted of second degree murder, given a life sentence, with 10 year parole eligibility.  And sure enough by 1990 he was granted parole.  According to his record he picked up a couple of impaired in the 90s, and had his parole revoked in 2012, but has pretty much stayed out of trouble.

Turns out when this guy was picked up for the impaired the parole board revoked his parole.  And he has now been sitting in a federal prison for the last 6 months.   

Not sure that's the best use of resources.  But what's worse is that his lawyers set it down for trial allowing him to sit for 6 months when there was no defence I could see.

[viper37]

I think this belongs here:
Woman nearly kills herself setting ex-boyfriend's car on fire

[Barrister]

Was watching a 3 on 1 assault on a CCTV videos.  One of the assailants is wearing an Edmonton Oilers jersey.  Not a big shocker in this city.  But I eventually I realize it's a custom jersey - name is Cardinal, number is 84.

One of my Accuseds are named Cardinal, and he was born in 1984.

[Malthus]

I read an article about a woman who is alleged to have shot her husband's girlfriend while dressed as a clown, delivering balloons. This supposedly happened thirty years ago and her trial had been postponed many times ... it was just postponed again. She was arrested in 2017 - this has been dragged out for five years!

And yes, it was in Florida.

https://www.thestar.com/news/world/us/2022/05/18/florida-killer-clown-trial-delayed-again--for-a-sixth-time.html?rf

[Barrister]

I have a trial, also from 2017, where we adjourned it for the 7th time.

First 4 or so times it was because Accused kept changing lawyers.  Eventually judge got so tired of it they said to go ahead with or without a lawyer.  Unfortunately after hearing from one witness the judge gave him an adjournment to get ready.  Next time Accused said he had covid.  Time after that defence lawyer said he had covid (reputable lawyer, I don't doubt him - only time I ever consented to an adjournment).